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More Laws of Anime!

Started by Senkusha, 24-Mar-2004 (Wed) @ 16:56:04

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Senkusha

1) War sucks.
2) You CAN have too many women.
3) Smart people wear glasses.
4) Music foreshadows plot.
5) The less you care about sex, the more opportunities you'll get.
6) (Inversely, the harder you try, the less you'll get.)
7) When you die, make a long speech, and don't finish the last sentence.
8) Snow means love.
9) The best teams come in fives.
10) In space, you can hear everything.
11) There's always room for flashbacks!
12) When in China, listen to your tour guide.
13) The good guy always has the BLUE glow.
14) Speak quietly, pilot a big mech.
15) Believe in goddesses.
16) Teachers have excellent aim with small objects.
17) Vengeance with a mallet is the sweetest revenge of all.
18) Honor is sexy; villainy is irresistible.
19) Women are attracted to losers; men are attracted to ANYTHING.
20) The coolest weapon is still the sword.
21) The hero is never really mad until they hurt his girlfriend.
22) Female androids are sexy; male androids are....male androids.
23) The green-haired alien girl will always betray her people for the man she loves.
24) School uniforms are cool only when the collar is open.
25) A show without sexual tension isn't worth watching.
26) Love knows no race, species, or logic.
27) If it's homemade but tastes bad, grin and bury it (discreetly).
28) Never trust a huge corporation.
29) Romance never comes simpler than in a triangle.
30) Never fall for the girl who names her mech with a French name.
31) Never fall in love with a psychic.
32) You can never have too much hair.
33) Sweating is a sure sign of stress.
34) Daydreaming leads to accidents.
35) Everyone wants to conquer Japan.
36) The cute, fuzzy creature isn't what it seems.
37) Cherry blossoms mean nostalgia.
38) Always take gravity into account.
39) Settings and faces are self-generating.
40) Losing your temper can be therapeutic.
41) There's nothing sexier than high heels on a mech.
42) You can never have too many subplots.
43) If she sings, she's doomed.
44) You always remember the sad endings.
45) Double suicide is romantic.
46) Outrageous vehicles only make the hero cooler.
47) Nothing delays romance like unruly neighbors.
48) Fancy ice cream is for girls only.
49) The most virtuous character will die.
50) Hot water has innumerable benefits.

51) No matter how much blood is lost, no one can die by a nosebleed.
52) (The same theory above applies to vomiting.)
53) The girl with the curly hair is always the seductress.
54) If a sister falls in love with her brother, somewhere down the line you will discover that they're not blood related.
55) The guy in the baseball cap is always more powerful than he seems.
56) All demons/monsters have enormous genitalia.
57) All young children can pilot mecha, you just need to give them a few days.
58) It is possible to incorporate martial arts into any aspect of life.
59) All high school kids in Japan have parents that are away on extended business trips.
60) The oldest sister is the nice one, the youngest sister is the brash one.
61) You can do anything to the human body as long as you hit the right pressure point.
62) Consuming enormous amounts of alcohol daily will never have ill effects.
63) All major villains either want to take over the world or blow it up.
64) When someone paints up their face, they mean business.
65) Everyone in Japan has excellent singing voices.
66) No matter how many times you rebuild, Tokyo keeps getting destroyed in a massive fireball.
67) The martial arts expert is always defenseless against a slap from the girl who loves him.
68) TAKAHASHI'S LAW 1: Food is a powerful motivator.
69) When women are sent out to fight the bad guys, there's always a hunk busily watching over them, often in secret.
70) The longer it takes to say what your punch is called, the less effective it is.
71) "Baka" does not mean a student going for his baccalaureate degree.
72) The more possessive a woman gets, the less likely she will end up with the man of her dreams.
73) TAKAHASHI'S LAW 2: The two-foot-tall old geezer is someone to be feared.
74) No matter how big the mech/labor/mobile suit is, if it runs around the corner, the guy chasing it loses the trail.
75) Extraterrestrial, demons, time travelers, etc. all want to alter the course of history by letting Oda Nobunaga win.
76) The fate of the planet rests in the hands of the seemingly normal high school student.
77) The heroine must shred her clothes while transforming into something to fight the bad guys.
78) True evil can never be destroyed, only banished to some nether realm where it awakes after a few hundred years.
79) TAKAHASHI'S LAW 3: When being hit on the head, it's the most natural thing in the world to tuck your third and fourth fingers in while keeping the others extended.
80) Even the bravest souls can be made weak and helpless by the sight of a cute little puppy or kitten.
81) Never love a Gundam pilot : you're just destined for disappointment (or a funeral).
82) All persons under the age of 50 can do a ten foot vertical jump from a standing position.
83) Never trust a guy with shiny teeth
84) ESP causes more trouble than it solves
85) The vampire isn't _always_ the bad guy
86) Nice things can come out of video stores that appear from nowhere
87) Idiot captains win battles against impossible odds
88) Order takeout at every opportunity--you might get lucky with a wrong number.
89) The police are never anywhere there is a large amount of property damage.
90) All high school principals in Japan are clinically insane.
91) All people with esper powers give off multicolored auras.
92) Just about any outer space villain has his sights set on destroying the Earth.
93) (in conjunction with #92) No other planet in the universe will be able to stop said villain except the Earth.
94) Any character can make a leap of 300 ft or more if given a good running start.
95) A samurai sword can cut through anything.
96) All characters over the age of 60 shrink in height in direct proportion to their age.
97) When uncovering a fabulous treasure, the thing will be large enough to completely destroy any surrounding structures.
98) TAKAHASHI'S LAW #4: An anti-climax is a good climax.
99) Anime villians have the best deaths.
100) Any love interest will always be possesed by a demon.
101) Mallets can be stored anywhere on anybody.
102) If the anime has the word "idol" in the title, then you know that it has to be good.
103) Takada Yumi really does sing that bad, and people still buy her CDs.
104) If you make enough porno movies, eventually you can get famous enough to star in commercials. "Iijima Ai desu! 'Manga manga no mori ori!!'"
105) There is no such thing as a public anime showing without heckling.
106) You can spot how popular a show is by looking at the number of H doujinshi it has.
107) The smartest people on r.a.a. never post, which is why the conference's overall IQ is so low.
108) If the lyrics to the OP song are printed on the screen, then you're watching a show that's not for your age group.
109) The sexiest girls are drawn by artists whose last names start with "U".
110) The English words in Jpop songs are put there only because they sound good, since they don't make any sense with the rest of the lyrics.
111) If you post on the MLs more than Hitoshi does, then you probably post too much.
112) The hero always loses the first fight with a new enemy.
113) The guys with two earrings are from the Negaverse.
114) Don't trust the guys with two earrings.
115) Any truly evil person who changes sides for the woman he loves will die in that episode.
116) You CAN do it, but only when it's funny or REALLY important.
117) You can never have too many carrots.
118) Hair comes in every shade of the rainbow - and we do mean pink, purple, blue, green....
119) The song "Cry Me a River" takes on a whole new meaning.

Creative Pioneer exploring anime role playing adventures!

Slade

How about these add ons?

120) Near all anime women fall down with their legs semi opening in a v-shape, men just fall either curse or die with words of rememberance.
121) Animes can be suprisingly intellectual with stories to put the matrix to shame (ie: Big O)
122) No peace but hell on earth: Peace never exists in anime, all peace are but flashbacks of a character comparing that age to the now 'corrupt' age.
123) Japanese seems to be a common writing and cultural system to advanced and wise space civillisations who oddly enough never been to earth.
124) Earth has only two uses: A place for intergalatic warmongering or 2; the ideal utopia.
125) NEVER fight the old man their either ultra wise in fighting or know how to get a woman.
126) Women with blue eyes, blonde hair and a slight chuckle are both freaky and VERY evil and are given the best background music. *Ie: Yugi*
127) They may have wooden ships but The Jurian empire are by far the greatest space empire in anime.
128) Nature is still a key vaule in a character.
129) There's always a glorious past, all anime stories are never almost based in the glorious past.
130) The main boss is usually the one who comes last, the rest are killing toys for the hero. 

ereas


Lookout

But wait, there's more!
----------------------------

140) All property damage, no matter how massive will quickly be repaired by next episode UNLESS it's crucial to the plot.
141) All effeminate looking males have sparkles appear on close ups.
142) Prepubescent children can do ANYTHING from cooking gourmet meals to teaching an English class.
143) Sending a person into a Low Earth Orbit is considered proper retaliation against perversion and is also a normal means of travel in some parts of Japan.
144) All geniuses conduct experiments that, if they backfire, may result in the destruction of their housing facilities, hometown, home planet, home galaxy or the Universe in general.
145) Any technique, no matter how seemingly powerful, can be countered by the main character in a matter of days after exposure to the technique.
146) People remember childhood promises, no matter how long ago or how minute they may seem,  and hold you to them.
147) Rich characters are generally insane, delusional or snobbish.
148) Rich characters generally have roses appear somewhere in a scene where they act with romantic intent.
149) No matter how obvious the signals, the male lead will never know about the female lead's affection unless he is told to his face.
150) Highly skilled ninjas, swordsmen, assassins and samurai set in modern day are either female middle or high school students.
To see a World in a Grain of Sand
And Heaven in a Wild Flower
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And Eternity in an hour
        â€"William Blake

Warlord Vir

(I do not remember this was cover but)
151) They is no such thing as a ugly young girl. Only men and old person can be ugly.
152) The law of science is only obey when it suit them.
153) History is mostly likely repeated itself or at least try.
154) All alien are humaniod.
155) 9/10 an alien will look almost if not like a human.
156) No matter many people may depend on one person income. There will alway have money for food and repairs until other way wise dictated by the plot.
157) Any good ending never has true end,but a new beginning.
(I hope I did this right. I will remove it. If it wrong)

Bring it on evil.
D&D "The Path" an adventure of the unknown and danger.

draconious380

158) Cherry blossoms will be involved in an anime somewhere regardless of the setting or time of year.
Ladies and gentlemen good evening,
you've seen that seeing is believing,
your ears and your eyes will be bleeding,
please check to see if you are still breathing,
hold tight because the show is not over,
if you will please move in closer,
you're about to be blown over,
by the wonders you are about to behold here.


Zionia

159) When presented with any type of innuendo, explicit or otherwise, females will blush and males will get bloody noses...
ぃおにあ

"We are not responsible for anything you may do under the influence of fictitious alcoholic beverages"


Dragonchilde

160) The chance of reverting to "chibi" form is inversely proportionate to the need for the character's skills & maturity level.

Warlord Vir

161) The star of the show never truly dies or removed from the show.


***
*note from mod* Not true: there are cases where the main characters do die, however, they are often resurected somehow in a following episode, and bringing them back usually becomes the plot. Examples: Dragon Ball Z, Yu Yu Hakishu, Naruto
Thanks for correct and I modify it. Hope it to your liking

Bring it on evil.
D&D "The Path" an adventure of the unknown and danger.

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