[Skuld-chan]

Admin Note:  I found this on another message board, and *had* to add it to the archives here!
Original message

Sexy Personals for Passionate People!!!!
You select - We connect. ^_^
Find your date for *free* tonight. Check out some of our entries (no pictures as that's for paying folks)!

For the guys!

1) Not Your Average Jr. High Girl

Name: Higurashi Kagome
Sex: Female
Age: 15 and guaranteed not to get physically older
Nationality: Japanese Anime ("Inuyasha")
Appearance: Petite and cute with long black hair, sexy big eyes, and nice measurments.
Status: Single and available.
Likes: Dog ears, guys with youkai swords, very short sailor seifuku skirts, archery, very long hikes, camping, romance, and saying "Osuwari!"
Dislikes: Normal males, youkai, undead miko, school, and anyone named Naraku.
Message: I want a guy who can treat me like a princess, defend me with his life, yet do everything I say. If you have dog ears, that is a HUGE plus. Overweight guys OK but only if you have dog ears. No dog tails though! Write me if you are interested. Be seeing you!

2) Urd Made Me Post This!
Name: Skuld
Sex: Female
Age: n/a (appears ~14-years old)
Nationality: Megami ("Ah! My Goddess")
Appearance: Petite and cute with stylish black hair, sexy big anime eyes, with cute megami markings on my face and forhead.
Status: Single.
Likes: Human boys with skills on a dirt bike (any type), college guys, mecha, computers, electronics, inventing things, androids, power, Nobel Scarlet, being called "Skuld-sama", and defeating my sister Urd.
Dislikes: Guys who get to close to my sister Belldandy, anyone who does something better than me, Urd's potions, and anyone who dis'es my inventions.
Message: I'm only doing this because stupid Urd made me after I accidently messed up one of her potions. She shouldn't just leave the things out, don't you agree? Anyway, I don't think I'll be responding to any messages...OUCH. Stop it Urd! OK, I'll respond to all who write, but special consideration given to those who wish to praise my inventions.

3) Magic Girl Looking for Love
Name: Kinomoto Sakura
Sex: Female
Age: 12
Nationality: Japanese Anime ("Cardcaptor Sakura")
Appearance: Small and petite with cute short brownish-redish hair, big cute anime eyes, and an ultra-cute smile.
Status: Single and looking.
Likes: Older nice men, chinese boys, magic, her friends, school, roller skating, Sakura Cards, sleeping in, and cuddling.
Dislikes: Mean people.
Message: Hello. My name is Sakura. Pleased to meet you. I'm posting this profile because I had to break up with my former boyfriend after he was seduced by a time-space witch named Yuuko ("xxxHolic"). I tried to battle her for him, but Tomoyo-chan (my best friend) convinced me it wasn't worth it. She encouraged me to move on, so I am. I'm a very cheerful and positive person and I would like to share this part of me with you. Looks and appearance don't matter provided you are a true nice guy. I will know if you are faking it or not. Thank you for reading this.

4) Kawaii "Animal" Guys Wanted
Name: Honda Tooru
Sex: Female
Age: 16
Nationality: Japanese Anime ("Fruits Basket")
Appearance: Very petite with long brown hair (done with cute ribbons), very big blue anime eyes, and a smile that will melt your heart.
Status: Single
Likes: Guys that turn into cute animals when being hugged, friends, working as a janitor, cleaning up after slobby guys, cooking for others, doing things for others, cats, the zodiac, love, getting along, ultra-short seifuku skirts, Kisa-san, anyone with the family name of "Sohma", and life in general.
Dislikes: Nothing.
Message: My best friends Uo-chan and Hana-chan put me up to this. I'm Honda Toru (desu). I'm nothing special and not worthy of your attention. However, I am honored and flattered by any mail I get and I will happily respond to all who write as soon as I possibly can. Pleased to make your acquaintance.

5) No Perverts Please!
Name: Narusegawa Naru
Sex: Female
Age: 19
Nationality: Japanese Anime ("Love Hina")
Appearance: Petite with long brown hair (done with two cute strands that look like antenna) and nice brown eyes. She was also a hot idol for a time.
Status: Single and looking.
Likes: Normal, intelligent, non-perverted guys, kissing (in private), snuggling (in private), romance, teachers, onsens, Hinata Sou, studying, college, action, fights, and beating perverts up.
Dislikes: Perverts, lechers, guys who don't seem to care about their career path, idiots, and weirdos.
Message: If you aren't a pervert, idiot, or a weirdo and you like to study, please write me. If you are and you write me, I will literally send you to the stars. Try me and see!

6) Naughty and Nice!
Name: Urd
Sex: Female
Age: n/a (appears to be mid-20's)
Nationality: Megami ("Ah! My Goddess")
Appearance: Tall with a nice shape, legs that go all the way up, long flowing silver hair, with cute megami markings on my face and forhead.
Status: Single and available.
Likes: Potions, good sake, TV, video games, teasing my future brother-in-law, teasing my sister Skuld, anything associated with plumbs, playing cupid, & punishing those who so richly deserve it.
Dislikes: Most of Skuld's dopey inventions, rules, work in general, those who would mess with my sisters, and a certain style of music which I won't name. Don't ask!
Message: I'm both naughty and nice at once and love to party and have fun all night long. If you think you can keep up with the goddess of love, bring it on! I can outparty all of you! I will take on all challengers! Contact me now!

7) Reformed Youkai Seeks Soulmate
Name: Kagura
Sex: Female
Age: n/a (appears late teens or early 20's)
Nationality: Youkai ("Inuyasha")
Appearance: Long black hair done up in a bun, mysterious red eyes, and a nice figure. Recently had a giant spider mark on her back removed.
Status: Single and looking.
Likes: The wind, freedom, flying on a giant feather, kimonos, and a certain youkai with long, flowing silver hair, a crecent moon symbol on his forhead, who's tall, in excellent shape, and with looks described as bishounen.
Dislikes: Naraku, being enslaved, the thought of dying alone.
Message: There are some who might say I am not a pure youkai because of how I was created. To them I say you are wrong. Now that I am freed of the bonds laid upon me by my creator (curse him forever), I have been reborn as the wind. As I fly to and fro, I find my thoughts constantly returning to the one youkai who was there for me. It is he who first caught my eye with his beauty and power. I didn't realize it for a long time, but it was his honorable nature which I found most attractive. It was this aspect which helped fire my desire to be free. And now that I am free, I know I can love with my whole heart and be the perfect mate for such a wonderful youkai. I know that I can love not only him, but his young human charge too, defending her with my life if need be. All I ask is to be given a chance. I leave the ball in your court.

Energetic and Excitable Girl!
Name Excel Excel first name Excel, last name Excel, in other words, I'm Excel Sex female obviously or else why would this be listed under "for the guys" well I guess there are people who go both ways after all I did have that one encounter myself with that crazy android girl but I don't wanna talk about that Age It's never actually said but I look like I'm in my teenage years then again now that I think of it in the first episode of the series I was graduating from high school so we'll say I'm eighteen Nationality Japanese but someday I you and everyone in the world will belong to the great ACROSS led by the magnificient Lord Ilpalazzo oh and from the Excel Saga Appearance Medium height and build red-blond hair wears a uniform slash battle armor Status Single most unfortunately due to the continued ignorance of my beloved Ilpalazzo though I suppose it's possible that he himself will respond to this message if so I would be forever grateful but if not will applicants please consider wearing a white wig Likes handsome bishounen types conquering the world and guitar-playing Dislikes overly cute things such as Puchuus competition for the love of those I'm involved with especially from friends and coworkers and crazy adroids who try to be more hyper than Excel herself Message come meet me and we'll have a great deal of fun together I can do anything you want and never once get tired I wonder if Lord Ilpalazzo will see this you never know he might just decide to call or maybe he'll end up getting jealous like he did with that guitar-player after all Excel did include guitar-playing in her likes and surely he must know to what I am referring but if you give me a call then we can find a way to be happy and have fun together so call me and [A pit opens beneath Excel] See you sooooooooon!


For the girls!

1) Nice Guy Seeks Harem
Name: Masaki Tenchi
Sex: Male
Age: 17
Nationality: Janapense Anime ("Tenchi Muyo! Ryo-ohki")
Appearance: Very in shape frame without being over-muscular, short black hair with rat tail, brown eyes.
Status: Engaged and living with several other women as well on a large estate in the country (Japan).
Likes: Female pirates, princesses, lolicon girls, female scientist, choushin (goddesses), furry girls, police women, various other bijin girls, his harem, farming, Shintoism, hard work, and getting along.
Dislikes: When girls get pushy, when girls bicker, anyone who messes with his harem.
Message: While I am currently living with my fiancee and five other girls of various ages, I'm always looking to open my home up to more girls. If you are between the ages of 12 and 25 (or if your physical appearance is that of a girl between 12 and 25), please write me and we'll talk. Serious inquiries only.

2) Nice Guy Seeks Non-violent Girl
Name: Urashima Keitarou
Sex: Male
Age: 22
Nationality: Japanese Anime ("Love Hina")
Appearance: Dark hair with big dark eyes (wears glasses) and an average frame (though slightly more muscular of late).
Status: Single and available.
Likes: Non-violent girls, lolicon girls, kendo girls, sweet girls, gaijin girls, traditional girls, various other bijin girls, onsens, being treated with respect and adoration, & romance.
Dislikes: Violent girls, school, studying, being misunderstood.
Message: I've only been in one serious relationship with a girl who was so violent, it is a wonder I'm still alive. But if you want a nice guy who will treat you with respect and adoration, then I'm your man. Cute lolicon girls OK as are 'older' girls (under 35). Please write.

3) Powerful Youkai Seeks Pure Female Youkai
Name: Sesshoumaru
Sex: Male
Age: Unknown. At least 70, but appears to be in his mid-20's.
Nationality: Youkai ("Inuyasha")
Appearance: Long, flowing silver hair, a crecent moon symbol on his forhead, tall, in excellent shape, and with looks described as bishounen.
Status: Single
Likes: Pure youkai, acts of honor, a certain human lolicon girl, killing inferior youkai and humans who would get in his way.
Dislikes: Inferior youkai, humans (save one), his half-brother, dishonorable acts.
Message: Only seeking pure youkai female.

4) Tall, Dark, and Furry
Name: Geobaldi
Sex: Male
Age: Unknown - apparently in 30's
Nationality: Outlander- Battle-Slave of the Santovasku Empire (Outlanders manga)
Appearance: Eight foot tall, very broad dog-man covered in fur
Status: Taken and looking
Likes: Cat-women, submissive women, women who know their place, sex
Dislikes: Uppity, pushy women who think they can run everything themselves
Message: I want a broad who will do what I say when I say. If I say jump, she'll ask how high. If I say I want some loving, she'll get the bed warmed up, and if I go off to fight, she won't insist on tagging along. The last thing I want is a pushy, bossy woman who always- what's that, dear? Oh, this? Nothing at all, just a little form I happened to- ow, ow, OW, watch it! Ack, put the pot down- all right, all right, I won't send it! Crazy chicks...

5) Only vegetarians please!

Name: Ryouga Hibiki
Sex: Male
Age: 16
Nationality: Japanese (Ranma ½)
Appearance: Well-worn lofty hiking clothes, backpack, fangs, black unkept hair kept in place by 500 tiger striped bandanas put on top of each other
Status: Eh... taken... I mean kind of... I've had a date with each of them... and at the same time once... but they're both so cute... aaah it's so hard to choose!
Likes: Long walks, souvernirs, dogs, training, getting stronger and learning special techniques, beating Ranma, beating dumb tiger-guys, saving villagers from rampaging animals, cute girls, snuggling, hugs, cute girls saying nice things to me... rhytmic gymnastics... calligraphy
Dislikes: Directions, maps, compasses, gps, not being able to go to school regularly, people who don't wait for me, Ranma making fun of my sense of direction, Ranma dressing up to fool me (Hah! Never!), Ranma beating me, rain, snow, cold water, being small, butchers, people who like pork, people who bother Akane, people who bother Akari, pushy women who insult me all the time
Message: Seeks cute, comforting, vegetarian girl, who likes snuggling and small animals. A plus if in vicinity of hot springs or if in possession of ancient chinese martial arts scrolls

Many more such profiles inside! So what are you waiting for? Your perfect anime partner is waiting for you right now! JOIN TODAY!

[Kiyoka]

9) Name: Kiyone Makibi
Sex: Female
Age: 23
Appearance: 2 black hooked markings on my left cheek, red eyes (sometimes glow), clawed

fingers. I usually wear a very tight outfit.
Appearance: 6.2 foot tall, very smooth figure.
Status: Single
Likes: seducing men, draining Jurians and being bitchy
Dislikes: Being controlled (i.e being told what to do)

Message: Hey shy guy, can you excite me tonight?
I'm a woman who knows what she wants. Don't even try to tell me what to do, or you'll regret it *smirk*. If you get too out of hand, I have claws and whips to hold you down *wink*. But don't be afraid, I'm really careful. If you think I'm too much for you and try to turn the tables on me--well, you won't happen to live long after. Oh on a final note, I'm keen on see'ing any Jurian's with Noble blood running in them! I get more 'high' with each jurian I meet! See here for details www.ayeka.net/Kiyone_Size_Chart.html

[Skuld-chan]

10) Romantically deprived princess seeks decicive man.

Name: Ayeka Misaki-Jurai
Gender: Female
Age: Appears 19
Likes:  Flower gardining, commanding others, shopping, long hot baths, and eating sea urchin.
Dislikes: Ryoko, indecisfullness, lazy people, and carrots.

Message:  I am the crowned priness of Juria, soon to be Empress of this entire galaxy!  I wish to find a man who can make decsisions quickly, and whose not afraid to show me affection.

(I'll most likely edit this later.)

[Zionia]

 lol...i got dibs on doing Sasami's...ill post it as soon as i make a final copy. lol where did you find this stuff?

[Skuld-chan]

any luck yet?  It might be a race!

[DeathTrooper]

11.) Battle hardened Mercinary seeks company

Name: James 'Cobra' Knight
Gender: Male
Age: 25
Likes: Drinking, getting in fights, Commanding fleets of ships, computers, destroying stuff, demolitions, and talking all night.
Dislikes: Slow people, small weapons, fixing stuff, loud people, and boring days.

Message: Anybody who wants an exciting time and never scared to get hurt you've met the right person. I'll do anything for anybody if its reasonable.