This is the first fan-fiction that I ever read, and it's a really good one. It introduced me to the world of Tenchi Universe (via Kiyone), and will always have a place in my heart. It took me a while to track down this story, and I long time ago, I asked to republish it on my own site. I have once again found this story, so I'm posting it here! Although I was tempted to reformat the line breaks, I have left the formatting in its original form.
Plot:
Ryoga has wandered back into Nerima after finishing with Akari to discover that Ranma and Akane have set the date for their wedding. Teaming up (again) with everyone's favorite okonomiyaki chef, Ukyou, the duo decide that this is their last chance to split Akane and Ranma up. The setting, a Mystery Tour, which they will run. After borrowing money from Nabiki and lining up some paying customers they present their "engagement gift" and head off in search of love. Will they succeed?
Ryoga has returned from his wanderings to discover from Ukyo that Ranma and Akane have actually set a date for their wedding. It's all over! For both Ryoga and Ukyo. But maybe all is not lost. Neither will give up without a fight, and Ukyo has a plan. Ryoga is going to set up as a mystery tour guide, with Ukyo and for their first trip they'll offer a complementary trip to Ranma and Akane! Surely there'll be plenty of opportunities to split those two up. However a few unexpected things happen, and a few more people wind up on the trip as well. This should be a mystery tour of a lifetime, especially with Ryoga driving!
Ryoga and Ukyou brainstorm a plot to separate Ranma and Akane forever, by running a tour bus driven by Ryoga, with meals prepared by Ukyou. But their carefully laid plans ago awry when the two begin to fall in love.
Chapter Index:
1. Part One (https://www.animerpgs.com/index.php?msg=315)
2. Part Two (https://www.animerpgs.com/index.php?msg=316)
3. Part Three (https://www.animerpgs.com/index.php?msg=317)
4. Part Four (https://www.animerpgs.com/index.php?msg=318)
5. Part Five (https://www.animerpgs.com/index.php?msg=319)
6. Part Six (https://www.animerpgs.com/index.php?msg=320)
7. Part Seven (https://www.animerpgs.com/index.php?msg=321)
8. Part Eight (https://www.animerpgs.com/index.php?msg=322)
9. Part Nine (https://www.animerpgs.com/index.php?msg=323)
10. Part Ten (https://www.animerpgs.com/index.php?msg=324)
11. Part Eleven (https://www.animerpgs.com/index.php?msg=325)
12. Part Twelve (https://www.animerpgs.com/index.php?msg=326)
13. Part Thirteen (https://www.animerpgs.com/index.php?msg=327)
14. Part Fourteen (https://www.animerpgs.com/index.php?msg=328)
15. Part Fifteen (https://www.animerpgs.com/index.php?msg=329)
16. Part Sixteen (https://www.animerpgs.com/index.php?msg=330)
17. Part Seventeen (https://www.animerpgs.com/index.php?msg=331)
18. Part Eighteen (https://www.animerpgs.com/index.php?msg=332)
19. Part Nineteen (https://www.animerpgs.com/index.php?msg=333)
20. Part Twenty (https://www.animerpgs.com/index.php?msg=334)
21. Part Twenty-One (https://www.animerpgs.com/index.php?msg=335)
22. Part Twenty-Two (https://www.animerpgs.com/index.php?msg=336)
23. Part Twenty-Three (https://www.animerpgs.com/index.php?msg=337)
24. Part Twenty-Four (https://www.animerpgs.com/index.php?msg=338)
25. Part Twenty-Five (https://www.animerpgs.com/index.php?msg=339)
Ranma 1/2: The Magical Mystery Hibiki Tour
by Jaelle and Orla
***
The characters in this story are the property of Rumiko
Takahashi-sama. We prostrate ourselves at her feet and beg her
forgiveness for our temerity in using these characters. We're
not worthy! We're not worthy!
C & C is welcome (although we don't like flames!). You can
contact us at either: ladyorla@yahoo.com or jaelle@ihug.co.nz
For more of our fanfiction visit our site 'Insane Musings'at:
http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~jaelle/Jaelle_Orla.htm
***
This story occurs four years after Ranma 1/2 volume 38.
***
Part One:
It was a calm, quiet late summer evening in Nerima, and Ukyou
Kuonji knew something was going to happen. She had had an
uneventful day, study... work, and now she was tidying up
Ucchans by herself, having given Konatsu the night off (and
strict orders to go and do something he liked). So, Ukyou's
nerves were tense at the moment, trying to anticipate the
type of crazy event Nerima seemed to throw up on a regular
basis. She didn't have to wait long.
"WHERE ON EARTH AM I NOW??!!" screamed a voice, accompanied
by the sound of something smashing.
Ukyou rushed outside and saw Ryoga Hibiki standing in the midst
of what had once been her back garden wall. He looked
despairing, angst-filled and lost. In other words, completely
normal. Ukyou felt her temper rise. Of all the walls in all
the world, why did he have to smash down HERS?
Ukyou removed her battle spatula from her back and gripped it
tightly. "Ryoga-kun..." she said threateningly.
Ryoga didn't hear her and, unaware of the danger he was in,
closed his eyes and began to angst. "Lost again!" he cried.
"Some outlandish mysterious place... I'm never going to get
back to Nerima, I'm never..."
CLANG!!!!!!!!
Ryoga peeled himself away from the object that had struck him.
"I'd recognise that spatula anywhere. Konbawa Ukyou-san, what
are you doing here?"
Ukyou stared at her dented spatula. Damn, she kept forgetting
how thick Ryoga's head was. Looks like he'd been off training
again, usually he couldn't shrug her blows off that easily.
"Ow," muttered Ryoga, rubbing his face. "That hurt you know."
"This is my back yard you jackass! Ryoga no baka!" shouted
Ukyou. "Can't you wander around _without_ destroying property!"
"Gomen nasai," groaned Ryoga. "It wasn't intentional. I get
carried away sometimes when I'm lost."
"Break my place again and you'll get carried away alright - in
a hearse!" Ukyo snapped, throwing her bent spatula behind her.
"Anyway, it's nice to see you again. What have you been doing?
And... oh..." Ukyou gasped as Ryoga keeled over unconcious.
"Oops, maybe I hit him too hard."
She dragged him inside and propped him up on a seat, removing
his backpack and placing it at his feet. "He'll probably want
something to eat and drink when he comes around." she muttered
to herself. "I'll fix him something."
Ryoga revived slowly as soon as his nose told him that food was
in the vicinity. He blinked and opened his eyes just as Ukyou
was tossing up whether or not to throw some water on him. He
lifted his head and began drooling the minute he sighted the
okonomiyaki.
"T-that smells _wonderful_."
"It's all yours sugar, eat up!" Ukyou beamed at him.
Ryoga gave himself a little shake and began to eat. He noticed
the steaming cup of tea next to the okonomiyaki and gulped that
down as well. As he ate his first half-decent meal in a week
he debated whether or not to apologise again for bakusai
tenketsing the backyard wall. Better not, he decided. Ukyou
tended to be somewhat spatula-happy. Ukyou flipped him another
okonomiyaki and he gave himself over to the pleasure of eating.
Munching on the third okonomiyaki, hunger sated enough to
enable rational thought, he glanced at Ukyou and swallowed.
"So, how is everything around here?"
Ukyou shrugged, "Oh, same old same old. Happosai is still the
Nerima panty-thief, Cologne and Shampoo are still running the
Nekohanten and scheming to nab Ranma." She paused and helped
herself to some tea from the pot on the oven, then stared into
it unseeingly, her expression pensive.
Ryoga frowned, she hadn't mentioned the most important person.
"What about Ak..." he started to ask before she smiled brightly
and spoke.
"Oh! I forgot to mention, Nabiki has made another two million
yen investment with the Kuno money and Kasumi is pregnant."
Ryoga's thoughts were diverted, "But when I was last here she
had just had twins!"
"What can I say? She and Dr Tofu like... uh... big families."
Ukyou finished her sentence with an embarassed cough.
"Knee deep in toddlers," Ryoga shook his head. "How... noisy."
Silence descended for a minute, Ryoga polished off the
okonomiyaki and Ukyou drank her tea. Then he took a deep breath
and tried asking again. "What about Akane?"
Ukyou bit her lower lip. "Ummm... yes, well, Akane... uh...
she's okay, she's been studying physical education and english.
She, um... *sob*"
Ryoga looked at Ukyou in alarm as tears welled up in the chef's
eyes. "Ukyou? What's... what's wrong?"
Ukyou blinked and swallowed. "Oh, uh, she and Ranma... they're,
they have decided... decided on the date."
"Date?"
Ukyou sniffed, "Yes, the date... for their wedding."
"Oh, their wedding." Ryoga nodded. "WHAT?!!!"
He jumped up. "Th-they're getting married? Soon?!"
"Well, they have been engaged for four years and they have
graduated and Ranchan _promised_ his dad and Mr Tendo that he
would marry Akane after he finished his education."
Ryoga sat down again, flabberghasted. "So this is it. This is
really it." He put his head in his hands. "So much for my
triumphant return to Nerima. Dammit!" He raised a fist to
pound the floor, then controlled himself. "I've got to get
over there!" he stood up.
"Now hang on a second." Ukyou stood as well. "Don't do anything
stupid, you can't just go over there and beat up Ranchan! Let
me rephrase that, _try_ to beat up Ranchan."
Ryoga sneered, "Trust me, defeating Ranma is _noooo_ problem."
His eyes narrowed in fury. Damn that Ranma. He was finally
ready and...
Ukyou's eyes narrowed in fury. All her repressed anger and
other negative-type feelings sprang to the fore. Sure, Ryoga
might be an _okay_ fighter. But the arrogance of the man...
"Are you kidding, you couldn't even manage to defeat _me_,
much less a true man like Ranma."
"TRUE MAN?!!! Are you high?" Ryoga furiously turned on her.
"He's a pervert! A half-man! A wimpy little jumped up lame
excuse for a martial artist!"
"YOU CAN'T TALK ABOUT RANCHAN LIKE THAT!!!!" screamed Ukyou.
Several passersby ducked and then rapidly evacuated the area.
"OH YEAH??!! AND WHO'S GOING TO STOP ME!!!!"
*BOOOOM*
Ukyou and Ryoga stood surrounded by battle aura. Each of
them glaring at each other, lightning flashing from their eyes.
A thunderstorm filled the air around them.
Ukyou spoke, clearly and concisely. "_I_ am."
Ryoga answered in the same tone. "You, and _whose_ army?"
"JACKASS!" Ukyou chucked a dozen minispatulas at him with a
speed that defied description (Man that's tacky - Orla).
Ryoga didn't even blink. He flung up his umbrella and
the spatulas embedded themselves deeply in the canopy as he
responded with a flurry of bandannas.
Ukyou vaulted over the counter, avoiding the bandannas and
throwing a flour bomb that enveloped both of them. She
swung a new battle spatula at him (she's got a storehouse of
them, what can we say? - J & O).
Ryoga heard the spatula coming and ducked, then threw himself
at the area he'd last seen Ukyou. They collided and grappled.
"Watch what you're touching," Ukyou screamed. "And you call
Ranma a hentai!"
"You started this," snarled Ryoga. "If you can't take the
heat, then you better get the hell out of the kitchen _lady_."
"You misogynistic, arrogant, directionless JERK!"
"Hah! And people call Akane a tomboy! No wonder you're always
attracting gender-confused weirdos when you act like this.
I've always wondered about you being a real girl."
Ukyou was speechless, her face turned an alarming shade of red
and she began to hyperventilate with fury.
"You... you PIG!" she screeched. "How DARE you..."
Ryoga snarled, "Who're you calling a pig, you unladylike,
pathetic excuse for a martial artist? I'm not surprised Ranma
chose Akane when all he had to chose between was her, you and
Shampoo. At least the other two are cute."
Tears sprang into Ukyou's eyes and her aura began to change and
waver. Half-crying she forced out the words to hurt him back.
"At least I could TELL Ranchan how I felt, I wasn't so gutless
as to always mask my feelings. No wonder Akane went with him,
when all she had was you and Kuno, and at least he could get out
a sentence to her without stuttering or getting a nosebleed.
You're not man enough for her or any other woman, and you never
will be!!"
Ryoga felt the tears pour down his face. It was true... he...
he couldn't take it anymore. He clenched Ukyou tighter to him
and her aura caught and matched with his, both of their
depressive moods mixing and augmenting together.
"Shi..... shi..... HOKODAN!!!!!!"
*FWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!*
A beam of pure ki shot into the night sky. Think Independence
Day backwards. (Sucky movie that it was.) Slowly the light
faded and the dust cleared, revealing Ukyou and Ryoga, arms
wrapped around each other sagging down to the floor. The
restaurant was completely unharmed, save for the perfect hole
punched into the roof.
"Oh god," said Ukyou. "It feels good to let all that out."
"Yeah." agreed Ryoga, collapsing to his knees. "Sorry about
that." He noticed that he was holding Ukyou tightly to him.
His brain started waving for attention.
"S'okay." said Ukyou, resting her head against his chest in
exhaustion. "I needed to get some of that pent-up feeling out."
"Gah." managed Ryoga, his brain having finally gotten back in
control of things and pointing out the closeness of a female
body (that wasn't Ranma).
"Gonna sleep now, kay?" Ukyou leant against him and Ryoga
toppled backwards, half-conscious, with blood streaming from
his nose as she landed on top of him, fast asleep. Ryoga's
brain took in the situation and clubbed him unconcious before
it fried and he lost too much blood.
***
The next morning:
Konatsu walked in bright and early despite staying out all
night, ready for another day at work.
"What the hey?" he stared at the hole in the roof and the
sight of his boss and love of his life happily asleep on top
of Ryoga Hibiki of all people. Gently, Konatsu picked up
Ukyou and carried her upstairs, tucking her into bed. On
the way back downstairs he picked up the phone and called
the local repairpeople to come and fix the roof before
opening. Only then did he allow himself the pleasure of
beating Ryoga awake with a frying pan. After he'd cooked
bacon and eggs on it.
"YAAAAAH!!!" Ryoga woke up and automatically punched out.
"uh... ohmigod... I'm sorry miss... oh it's _you_ Konatsu."
Konatsu smiled sweetly. "And just what are you doing _here_
Hibiki-san?"
Ryoga looked around. Then back at Konatsu. "I don't know."
he said confusedly. "I wanted to go to the Tendo training
hall."
"Then why were you..." Konatsu stopped. "You want to leave?"
"Yeah." Ryoga stood up and hooked his backpack up. "Wonder
why I'm here. Then again, why am I ever anywhere?" he
shrugged. Then he looked embarrassed. "Uh, could you take
me to the Tendos Konatsu?"
A smile spread across Konatsu's face. "I'd be _delighted_."
***
"Here you go! Have fun! Stay as long as you like!" said
Konatsu brightly. "Come back to Ucchans for lunch (and
nothing more)!" He skipped away across the rooftops, secure in
the knowledge that Hibiki-sans sense of misdirection would
keep him away from his beloved Ukyou-sama.
Ryoga shook his head. "Fruitcake." he said. He walked up the
front steps. Now where was...
"GET BACK HERE YOU OLD FART!!!"
Happosai bounded out of the door and bounced off a head-high
object. Hmmm, wonder what that was, he thought, just before
a very heavy umbrella connected with his face, hurling him
into the air.
"I really, _really_ hate that." Ryoga said calmly, lowering
the umbrella.
Ranma landed in front of him. "Where'd he go?" he asked.
Ryoga pointed upwards. Ranma looked up to see Happosai
spiralling through the air. "Hey, not bad." He turned to look
at Ryoga.
"I don't believe it. Ryoga? Jeez man, I haven't seen you in
ages. Not that that's _surprising_ or anything. Where've you
been? Whatcha been up to?"
Ryoga regarded his closest rival and contemplated punching
him in the face.
"You don't look so good." said Ranma. "Something wrong?"
Ryoga sighed and let the energy go. "Got any sake?"
"That bad? I've got a bottle the old man doesn't know about."
"Sounds good, what are you going to drink?"
Ranma paused. "Riiiight. I'll borrow some of Soun's stash.
He'll think Happosai drank it."
"Perfect," Ryoga shrugged off his backpack and slumped.
Ranma put a hand on his friends shoulder and led him round
the back.
***
Ryoga threw back his head and gulped the saucer of sake. He
shuddered. "Oh man, this stuff is terrible!" he said.
Ranma grinned, "Can't afford the good stuff." he said. "But
once we've got the training hall up and running properly..."
Ryoga glumly noted the 'we' and poured himself another saucer.
"Kampai." he said, and slugged it back.
"So," Ranma said, sipping his saucer. "What have you been
doing these past six months? I mean, how're things with Akari?
I thought you were going to try to make a thing of it with
her?"
"Ugh." Ryoga shuddered and threw back another saucer full.
"Short version: she loved P-chan more than she loved Ryoga.
And being around nothing but pigs all day made me feel
physically sick. I had to get out of there. She wanted to...
_do_ things."
"So?"
"With P-chan."
"Whoah, didn't need to know." said Ranma, nasty visions
haunting his mind. He gulped the sake and poured more.
"Not like _that_ you sexual deviant." snarled Ryoga. "It was
just always, 'Ryoga, why don't you turn into P-chan', 'You're
so cute as P-chan', 'Why don't you help my sumo-wrestling
pigs train, I've got the cold water right here'. Then towards
the end it was, 'Oops, I tripped, oh no, the cold water went
all over you, and the heating's off...'"
"Yeesh." said Ranma. "Sounds like a Kodachi in the making."
"Where _is_ she now?" asked Ryoga, momentarily distracted from
his troubles.
"Nabiki got Kuno and the headmaster to have her committed."
"Finally." they both said together, then laughed. Ryoga lay
back on the porch and let some of the tension flow away.
"Akane and I were so glad when it happened." mused Ranma.
The tension came back, with friends.
"Yes..." Ryoga debated bringing up the Akane question, or
whether to just pound Ranma as he had originally planned. He
clenched his fists.
"So where did you go after leaving Akari?" Ranma asked,
oblivious to Ryoga's distress (as usual).
Ryoga licked his lips, pounding can wait, keep talking, and
drinking.
"Well, the break-up was pretty harsh. I had to tell her to her
face, and she cried, which was terrible..."
Ranma nodded, "I know what you mean, Ucchan cried when I told
her that she and I were just friends."
Ryoga frowned, Ukyou... Ukyou... there was something nagging
at him concerning her, but he couldn't quite recall. Oh well,
think later, sake now. He poured himself another saucer.
Ranma frowned, Ryoga had gone through half the bottle, while
he was only on his third saucer!
Ryoga drank the sake and exhaled. "Anyway, after all that I
just wandered, went to lots of places, had various jobs and
finally I ended up back in Nerima."
"So where did you go?"
"Oh... everywhere. England.."
"What was that like?"
"Okay but the food isn't great and there are too many museums.
I got lost in the one in London for eight days and had to
camp out in the Japanese tea-house exhibit, which was
embarrassing, people thought I was part of it, and while I was
asleep someone tried to dust me!"
Ranma tried not to laugh. "Then where?"
"Paris... that was bad."
"I thought it was supposed to be really nice."
"Yes... it was the romantic atmosphere, I had to get out
before I ShishiHokodaned Notre Dame." He sighed, "But I'd
like to go back there with someone I really cared about."
"Ah... right. And after that?"
"Australia... it was hot and dry... nice beaches though, not
that I could go _swimming_, but I did get a tan. From there
I moved on to New Zealand."
Ranma blinked. "New Zealand?"
"Yeah, nice little place, lot's of sheep and open spaces. I
had a shearing job there for a while."
"'shearing'??"
"Uh-huh, I wound up in the capital city and had a look around.
It was a bit windy, but I met two really nice girls who got me
on the plane to Japan (Against our inclinations - J & O) they
kept trying to convince me that New Zealand was a really nice
place to live."
"Is it?"
"Well, yes, but I wanted to come home."
(Jaelle and Orla would like to thank Tourism New Zealand for
sponsoring this section of this fanfic. Ryoga-kun come
baaaaccck!)
"And so here you are. Sounds like you had fun though."
Fun? Ryoga thought about that, no, he wouldn't call it _fun_,
especially since he was trying to get to the Tokyo Tower.
(There is no reason for this we just wanted to included the
Tokyo Tower as it is in nearly every anime. - Orla)
"I wish I could go on a holiday, just travel around going
nowhere, just seeing places for the hell of it."
Ranma sighed and then looked at Ryoga. "So what are your
plans now?" he twiddled his thumbs. "'Cause if you are going
to stick around... would you consider being my best man?"
Ryoga almost swallowed the saucer.
Ranma continued. "It's just that... my only other option is
Ucchan and I don't think she'll want to wear a tuxedo and I
don't want to put her through that."
Ryoga glared. "Oh... so you'd put _me_ through it, huh?"
"You're a guy, you won't cry on me so much."
"Thank you _so_ much."
"Anyway, Akane would really like you to do it."
Ryoga swallowed. "She would... ? Ok... ok... I'll do it."
He fought back the pain as he felt his heart of glass start to
crack.
Ranma grinned. "Great! The wedding is in two months."
Ryoga's eyes widened, Two months? Ranma wanted him to stay in
_one_ place for two MONTHS?!
Ranma saw his expression. "Good point. We need to put you
somewhere safe where you won't wander off because we'll need
you on hand for all the fittings and stuff."
Silence fell as the two men thought.
"Somewhere safe... " mused Ranma. "Somewhere you can work
and with someone who can keep an eye on you... I know!
Ucchans!"
At that point Ryoga's memory kicked in. Throwing aside the
saucer he grabbed the bottle and sculled the lot.
***
"So is that okay Ucchan?" Ranma asked. Ryoga had gone bright
red and was staring at the floor. This was not entirely due
to the sake.
Ukyou smiled, for some reason she had woken up today in a
really good, relaxed mood. "Of course Ranchan." she said. "If
it gets me out of wearing a tuxedo okay, besides, I'll get
some free help!"
"FREE help?" Ryoga forgot his embarrassment and glared at
her. *Man, she's a real piece of work*, he thought.
"Hey lost boy, I'm giving you board and babysitting you.
Helping out around the place is the least you can do.
Besides, I'm already paying Konatsu, I can't afford to take
on any more help."
Ranma kept his mouth shut. He knew _exactly_ how much Konatsu
got paid.
"Oh... alright." said Ryoga.
Ukyou smiled. "You and Konatsu can share his room!"
"PWHAH?"
"Gotta run," said Ranma, sensing the potentially explosive
situation. "Thanks for everything both of you, me and Akane
really appreciate it. Bye!" he ran out the door.
Ryoga and Ukyou both slumped back into their seats.
"Sure. Don't mention it." said Ukyou.
"It's a pleasure," growled Ryoga.
The two of them glared at each other.
"I am NOT sharing with Konatsu!" Ryoga emphasised.
"Well you can hardly share MY room!" Ukyou snarled.
Ryoga gulped and remembered the fracas last night. Either
Ukyou couldn't or wouldn't remember it. Okay, fine, he could
do that.
"I could camp out in the back yard?" he suggested.
Ukyou rubbed her forehead, "Nooo, you'd just get lost going
to the bathroom. I prefer you to be _in_ the house. Last
chance, Konatsu's room or couch?"
"Couch."
"Done." Ukyou called out. "Hey, Konatsu!"
Konatsu walked in. "Hai itsujo!"
"Ryoga's going to be staying and working here for a while.
Take him downstairs and get him to work in the kitchen. And
DON'T LET HIM OUT OF YOUR SIGHT!"
"I'm not THAT bad." said Ryoga.
"Oh yes you are!"
Konatsu froze... "Staying... here?" he squeaked.
"That's right sugar. Now shoo... back to work." Ukyou
went down to the restaurant to finish getting ready for
opening for the lunch crowd.
Konatsu stared at Ryoga, who blushed. "Errr... so, where's
the kitchen?"
***
Ryoga mopped the floor and moped. Damn it, damn it all! He
was finally ready to tell Akane how he felt without screwing
it up. He'd practiced, he'd suffered, but he could now say
the words.
"I love you." he said out loud.
CRASH!
He turned around to see Konatsu standing staring at him,
the shattered remains of several plates scattered around
the floor.
"Hey, I just mopped that. Be more careful!" he said.
"Who... who do you love?" Konatsu demanded.
Erp, did I say that out loud? &*(^!!!
"Not you thickwit." he said. "I was just... oh what's the use.
She loves someone else!"
"Who... WHO??!!" demanded Konatsu.
"I just can't believe that she's actually getting married to
him."
Konatsu face-faulted. "You... you mean you're talking about
AKANE?!" he groaned.
Ryoga looked at him funny. "Well duh. Who else am I hung up
about?"
"I thought... I mean, I thought... you mean you're really
not... YES!" Konatsu punched the air and started to dance
around daintily in his kimono. "For a minute there I
thought... never mind. Clear this mess up, we've got more
customers out front. Weeeee!!!" Konatsu floated out. Ryoga
stared after him. Fruitcake, he thought. Absolutely... fruity.
With nuts on top. Why does Ukyou always attract the weirdos?
***
Two Days Later
Ryoga dried the last of the plates and sighed. It had been a
long day and it wasn't over. Ukyou had dragged him out of bed
in the small hours to get the restaurant ready, there had been
one alarming instance when she had threatened to throw cold
water on him to wake him up. Then just when Ryoga was taking a
breather after the incredibly busy lunch crowd Ranma had
popped in and took him off for tuxedo fittings. This wouldn't
have been so bad if Ukyou hadn't come along to offer advice,
actually it was more like _criticism_. Ryoga frowned, she had
acted like _he_ was the groom! Of course Ranma thought this
was hilarious so Ryoga attacked him, naturally Ukyou leapt to
Ranma's aid and they had nearly destroyed the tailor's before
everyone calmed down.
Ryoga stacked the plates, he had washed more plates in the past
couple of days than in his entire life! And he _hated_ it
because he had to be so careful so as not to break them.
"Hey lost boy." Ukyou strolled into the kitchen. "All finished?"
"Yes, finally, and don't call me that!" Ryoga wiped his hands
"Where's Konatsu?"
"Poor boy, he's exhausted, I bundled him off to bed."
Ukyou went to a cupboard and took out a bottle of sake and a
couple of saucers, she placed them on the kitchen table and sat
down.
"Join me in a drink?"
Ryoga smiled, "Yeah, that sounds great." He sat down opposite
her.
Ukyou poured the sake. "I just want to say that you've been a
great help, Ryoga, I really mean it."
Ryoga raised his glass and sipped the sake. "Thanks, I'm
sorry for being such a grouch before."
Ukyou downed her own drink. "Hey, no problem, I know
_exactly_ what you are going through."
A few saucers later...
Ryoga leaned back. "This is good sake."
Ukyou grinned. "That's the advantage of owning a thriving
business, I can afford the good stuff."
"So 'Ucchans' is really making the grade then? What are
your plans for the future?"
Ukyou leaned forward and smiled. "I'd love to have a chain
across Japan, perhaps even expand outside, that's why I've
been studying management. I haven't heard of many okonomiyaki
restaurants in places like the States, so perhaps I have a
product that can make me a lot of money."
Ryoga thought about it. "It's a possibility." He raised a
full saucer. "Hope it works for you."
"I'll drink to that!" Ukyou raised hers and took a long
swallow. "Ahhh... so good. What about you Ryoga? What is your
ambition?"
Ryoga blinked. "I-I haven't really thought about it. I never
did finish High School. All I can do is punch holes and get
totally lost."
"I can see how that would make holding down a job difficult."
"Yeah, I get a job and then the minute I get sent anywhere
or walk away I get lost! I've done so many things, I can
hardly keep track, I even managed to get a drivers license
somehow."
Ukyou stared. "A drivers license? _You_?"
"It was really strange. I got in the car to take the test
in Hiroshima and ended up in Kyoto. The examiner gave me the
certificate and bolted out of the car yelling something about
insanity."
Ukyou giggled and Ryoga glared at her. "My sense of direction
is not a joke!"
"Ahem! Yes... Anyway, sugar, you are right. It is impossible
to have a career when you can't make it to the office." She
smiled. "Unless you did something involved with travel."
"Oh yes," muttered Ryoga. "I've been everywhere and back again
in the world and everyone thinks I'm having a great time. I go
for a walk to the supermarket and end up in London, Mexico,
Rome, Beijing or Tibet, yeah, it's just _great_!" He gulped
down another saucer of sake. "Well it isn't! It's a nightmare
not knowing where you will be from one day to the next, and
having people like you and Ranma thinking it's cool does not
help!"
"Oh... " Ukyou blinked. "Ranchan wants to travel? I would've
thought that dreadful trip to the China was enough."
Ryoga shrugged. "He said he liked the idea, the freedom."
"You would be a good mystery tour guide." Ukyou said. She
looked wistful. "If only I could get Ranchan away from Nerima
and convince him that I'm the one."
Ryoga lost himself in a brief fantasy in which he took Akane
on a holiday, said those three little words and then found
out that she really loved him. Then he shook his head. "No,
it wouldn't work, not now."
Ukyou's expression mirrored his own, miserable. "But there is
no way I'd get Ranchan on his own now." then she perked up.
"Unless they went on holiday and broke up then."
"Doubt it... " muttered Ryoga.
They sat in the darkening kitchen, each wrapped up in their
own misery. Minutes passed, then suddenly Ukyou lept to her
feet and slammed her fist on the table.
"Damnit! They are _not_ married yet, I am _not_ giving up!" She
grabbed Ryoga's hands. "Listen, I have an idea but I'm going to
need your full cooperation."
Ryoga stuttered. "Wh... what... do you mean?"
"I mean we are in this together, all the way, until Akane's
in love with you and Ranchan is in love with _me_." Ukyou
leaned closer. "And this will solve your career problems
too."
Ryoga attempted to focus on her words. "Okay, what's the
deal?"
"A Mystery Tour!"
"Nani?"
"You are going to set up business as a mystery tour guide and
I will be your business partner, and caterer of course. We
will outfit a... a bus or something and offer places on the
first tour to Ranchan and Akane as an engagement present. Then
during the tour you will show Akane how right you are for her
and I will show Ranchan that he can't live without me! Best of
all we will _not_ invite Mr Tendo, Mr Saotome, or Shampoo and
Cologne, they won't be able to interfer. I swear to you that
we will both return married to the one we love!"
Ukyou finished with a gasp and squeezed Ryoga's hands. "Well?"
Ryoga just sat there, his expression unreadable, then a slow
grin spead over his face. "I like it... " He lept to his feet
and hugged Ukyou. "Yatta!"
She hugged him back. "Cool, ne?"
Konatsu stumbled into the kitchen yawning. "What's all the
noise, itsujo?" He took in the scene... his Ukyou-sama locked
in what looked like a passionate embrace with Ryoga Hibiki.
Tears sprang to his eyes and he ran back to his room, the tears
flowing a la Soun Tendo.
"Did you hear something?" Ryoga descended from his fantasies.
Ukyou descended from her own musings and looked around. "No."
Ryoga realised that for the second time in under a week he was
hugging Ukyou. With an embarrassed exclaimation he jumped back.
"G... gomen."
Ukyou blushed and fiddled with her hair. "It's okay...
ummm... shall we get started?"
Ryoga smiled. "Hai."
End of Part One.
Ranma 1/2: The Magical Mystery Hibiki Tour
by Jaelle and Orla
***
The characters in this story are the property of Rumiko
Takahashi-sama. We prostrate ourselves at her feet and beg her
forgiveness for our temerity in using these characters. We're
not worthy! We're not worthy!
***
Part Two. A Week Later.
Ukyou looked over the numbers, leant back and threw her pen
against the wall. "Damn it all!"
"Still not adding up?" Ryoga inquired. He leant over her
shoulder and perused the accounts.
Ukyou sighed and rubbed her eyes. "We have enough money for
the bus, the food and the petrol, but not enough for the
permits required to travel to China, or outfitting the bus."
"I have some money." Ryoga offered. "I don't know how much,
but you can have it."
"You don't have _this_ much, sugar." Ukyou held up the final
accounting. "I thought I had more savings, but most of my
profits get ploughed straight back into the restaurant. Plus
getting a good education is expensive. If we had some paying
customers and a sponsor... but this is supposed to be a
_present_."
"Well why don't we get a sponsor?" Ryoga put down the plate
he'd been drying for the last six minutes and sat down next to
her.
"Because the only person I can think of who'd invest in this
enterprise is... Nabiki Kuno."
*Hwooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo*
"You're right, better a deal with the devil than her."
"Now is that a nice thing to say to your future partner?"
"Nabiki!"
The pair of them rose to their feet and spun around. Nabiki
Kuno, socialite, investor, multimillionaire, and sister of
Akane Tendo, stood in the kitchen door.
"I came in for an okonomiyaki and to see how the two of you
were doing together *smirk* and I couldn't help overhearing
your little problem. Tell me more about this business venture
of yours."
Ryoga's mind raced as he tried to think of an answer that would
satisfy the money-grubbing little sneak... I mean, the woman in
front of him. He opened his mouth.
"We want to start a mystery tour service together," said Ukyou,
whose mind had raced a lot faster and had come to the
conclusion that if they didn't have Nabiki's help, the whole
plan would fall apart and she'd lose her last chance with
Ranchan. "We'd like to give the first tour to Ranma and Akane
as an engagement present."
"Oh, home-made gifts," teased Nabiki. "How very rustic of you.
Now I gather you're having financing problems? What can Nabiki
Kuno do to help you?"
Ukyou showed Nabiki the figures. "It's the initial set up that
costs the most." she explained. "Once we've got going and
gotten some paying customers it should take care of itself and
more."
"But you want the first time to be with Ranma... and Akane."
Nabiki's voice lingered suggestively and she smiled at the
two innocents before her. "Understandable, given how... close
you all are. Very well kiddies, I'll help you. But to advance
a loan I'll need some collateral."
"I have some money." Ryoga volunteered again.
"Yeah, we're talking _real_ money here honey. But thanks for
the thought." Nabiki dismissed him, then smiled at Ukyou, who
swallowed.
"The only thing I can offer you," she said hollowly. "Is
Ucchans."
"Perfect!" said Nabiki. "I'll advance you the money you need,
on the condition that you extend the tour to include paying
customers so that we can see if it is capable of making a
profit. If it fails, or you don't have the cash to repay me,
I'll take the restaurant in lieu."
"Ukyou... you can't..."
"Shut up you jackass, I'll do whatever it takes!" Ukyou
slammed her hand down on the table.
"My my, you really want Akane and Ranma to have a wonderful
pre-wedding holiday don't you?" smiled Nabiki. "Just sign
here," she whipped a form from behind her back.
*Where did she get that from?* wondered Ryoga.
Ukyou signed on the dotted line and tried not to feel like
she was signing away her first-born.
"All done. See, it didn't hurt. I'll have the money in the
morning. The rest is all up to you." she waved and headed out
the door. In the doorway, she paused. "Oh by the way, I'll be
coming along to see how you do. I will pay for my ticket of
course."
"What's the matter, think we're going to run off with your
money?"
"No, I just feel like a... _relaxing_ holiday." Nabiki's tone
indicated that she expected it to be anything but. "Ta ta!"
With this parting shot, she was gone.
Ukyou licked her lips and sat back down. "Well, Ryoga, it looks
like we are going to be putting in long hours."
Ryoga stared at her. "Your restaurant? You didn't have to do
that, not for me."
Ukyou's hurt turned into rage and she glared at him. "I'm not
doing it for you, jackass! And if you screw this up you'll
be spending the rest of your miserable life washing dishes!"
Ryoga regarded her and nodded. "Yes, I understand. Shall we get
started?"
Surprised by his calm attitude Ukyou's rage subsided. "Okay,
okay"
***
Three Days Later:
"Ukyou, we've been working for three days straight, can we
_please_ sleep?"
"You're a Martial Artist, this should be easy!"
"It was easy when I was sixteen!"
"You're only twenty-one!"
"Believe me, there is a lot of difference in those five
years."
"Whatever, but you've got to admit that we've done a
_great_ job."
They regarded the bus which they had converted from an old
ordinary tour bus, it was now a double decker capable of
taking twelve passengers plus the crew, i.e.: Ryoga and Ukyou.
It also had a lot of extra features including a shower, toilet,
kitchen, tables and fold-down beds on the upper deck. The idea
was for the passengers to camp outside, but should there be a
storm it was possible to accommodate everyone.
"Yeah, I agree, Ukyou, this is a great bus."
"What's left on our list of things to do?"
"Well, let's see. We've completed the bus, all the engine
checks, and stuff, we've got the food and linen in and the
first aid kit. We have six paying customers, (strange that
Konatsu decided to come). All in all it looks good."
"Well, not really since I have to close the restaurant while
we're doing this." Ukyou shrugged, "What's left?"
"Invite Ranma and Akane."
***
"Hey Ucchan! Nice to see ya, and you too Ryoga." Ranma
grinned at his friends as he invited them inside.
Ukyou gave him a hug. "How's it going, Ranchan?"
"Just fine, fighting it out over the wedding arrangements."
"You can say that again." Akane smiled at Ryoga and Ukyou as
they entered the main room.
Ranma flopped onto the floor and sighed. "Sometimes I wish I
could get away from it all."
Ukyou and Ryoga looked at each other and smiled. "Funny you
should say that... " said Ukyou.
Ryoga handed Ranma a big box, Ranma and Akane opened it and
peered inside, Ranma picked up a small envelope and opened it.
"Surprise!" chorused Ryoga and Ukyou.
"This is your engagement present." beamed Ukyou.
"'Hibiki Mystery Tours'?" Ranma frowned, "Is this a joke?"
"No, Ranchan, this is for real. It's your engagement present,
yours and Akane's, it's my and Ryoga's new venture and we want
you to be a part of it."
Akane looked at the little brochure. "It looks lovely, and
this bus is amazing! Did you both do this?"
Ryoga gulped. "Y... yes." he managed to get out. Ukyou gave
him a subtle but sharp elbow in the ribs. "Ow! I mean... so
will you come?"
Ranma frowned, if it had been Shampoo or Kodachi offering
this trip he would have said 'no' straight away, but this was
Ukyou, his best friend, and she hadn't chased him romantically
for four years. Also it was Ryoga, his best rival, who
wouldn't know a cunning plan if it beat him repeatedly over
the head and then danced around him singing 'I am a cunning
plan, I am a cunning plan'! He looked at Akane.
"Well? I'm all for it."
Akane smiled, if it had been Shampoo or Kodachi offering this
trip she would've said 'no'. However, this was Ukyou, Ranma's
best friend, who always came through when they needed her, and
Ryoga who she knew as a sweet and generous guy who never had
any nasty plans up his sleeve.
"I'd love to go."
"YATTA!!!" Ukyou leapt to her feet and punched the air. "This
is going to be the best thing we've ever done!"
Ryoga grinned, this had worked perfectly. He looked at Akane
who was sharing Ukyou's jubilation. *soon she will be mine*
***
Two days later
Ukyou looked at the mess before her and sighed. "I'm never
going to be ready! And we leave _tomorrow_!" She flopped down
onto her bed, what wasn't covered with clothing and other
items, and closed her eyes.
There was a knock at her bedroom door. "Ukyou-sama, can I
come in?"
"Hai, Konatsu." Ukyou didn't move as Konatsu opened the door.
He saw her lying there and rushed to her side.
"Oh! Ukyou-sama! Are you alright? Do you have a fever? Let
me help!"
"Baka!" Ukyou sat up and pushed him away. "I'm only tired and
frustrated, I don't know what to take with me! Typical, we
restrict the passengers baggage and _I_ have several bags too
many!" She shook her head and smiled ruefully. "Anyway,
Konatsu, what did you want?"
"Well, I've finished packing all the kitchen utensils and the
food supplies into the bus, I came up to see if you wanted to
look it over."
Ukyou rubbed her eyes. "Right, yes, thanks... I'll come down
in a minute." She took Konatsu's hand. "It's really good of you
to help when you are a paying passenger, Konatsu!"
Konatsu looked at her hand holding his and started to suffer
severe love overload. "Ukyou-s... sama... "
Ukyou noticed the signs and got up quickly, she had come to
realise that stuttering and a flushed face usually preceded
a hug from Konatsu, and she didn't want to encourage the poor
guy.
"I'll go down now." she said and left.
Konatsu stayed where he was, gazing at the hand she had so
briefly held and sighing.
"GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!!!" Ukyou yelled.
"H-hai!"
***
Downstairs Ryoga was looking after the restaurant. He wasn't
a master at okonomiyaki like Ukyou, but since his stints in
the restaurant tended to be at times when the customers were
light he went for the 'make your own' approach and that was
fine. At the moment there was only one couple sitting at a
table so he was engrossed in looking at a map of China.
Contrary to popular belief (i.e.: Ranma and Ukyou), Ryoga could
read a map, he just couldn't follow it. (Although he would
often claim that he could and it was the mapmakers fault for
drawing the continent completely wrong and making Paris look
_exactly_ like Tokyo.) He traced the outline of China and
frowned.
"It's a big place alright, it will take a while to drive it,
not as long as it took to _walk_, but we only had three weeks
to do this tour so we can't get too lost, but with me driving
that's guaranteed." Ryoga muttered to himself. "Ukyou said
she'll read the map for me, but she'll need to rest and cook
so... " He paused. "Wait... when do _I_ get a break from the
driving?"
Ukyou wandered in. "Ryoga-kun, everything ok?"
"Hai, but I have a question,"
"What?"
"Am I doing _all_ the driving?"
"Yes, I can't drive and... oh... problem." She looked at him
and bit her lip. "You _can't_ do all the driving! Our plans
will fail completely if you are too tired from driving to
charm Akane!"
Ryoga nodded. "What do we do?"
"Konnichiwa!"
They turned and saw a handsome man their own age standing in
the doorway. Ukyou blinked once and then went into her cheerful
host mode.
"Welcome to Ucchans Okonomiyaki. Care to take a seat?"
The man looked at her and smiled, his teeth glittered. "Are
you the chef?"
"Yes, Ukyou Kuonji's the name, Okonomiyaki is my fame."
"I would say your beauty is your fame." He stepped closer to
Ukyou.
She blushed. "Ano... can I take your order, sir?"
"Yes, a kiss from your lips."
Ryoga, who had been watching idly from the counter, looked
very hard at the man when he said this.
"Mikado Sanzenin!"
Ukyou, who had been stunned into silence by the unusual
'order', frowned.
"You know him, Ryoga?"
"Yup! Biggest sex-obsessed, egomaniac next to Kuno that I've
ever met." Ryoga looked around anxiously. "Uh... your skating
partner isn't here is she?"
Mikado shook his head. "No." He walked up to Ryoga. "Where
have we met? Your face is vaguely familiar."
"The... er... 'Charlotte Cup' skating match four, five years
ago."
Mikado thought for a minute, then he snapped his fingers. "Ah
yes, you were that brute who so mistreated that adorable girl
with the pigtail who swooned at my kiss."
Ukyou's jaw dropped. "Does he mean who I think he means?"
Ryoga grinned, he _always_ found this hilarious. "Yes, Mikado
here was given the honour of being the one to give Ranma his
first real kiss."
Ukyou's lips moved soundlessly for a moment. "Did... did Ranma
swoon?"
"No, but he was very embarrassed." Ryoga's smile grew wider.
Mikado looked confused. "I do not understand you."
"Never mind." said Ryoga. "So, what would you like, and don't
ask to kiss Ukyou because then I'll have to hurt you and that's
not good for business."
Mikado gazed at Ukyou who was still struggling with the idea
of Ranma being kissed by a boy (that wasn't Kuno who didn't
count). "Is this lovely lady yours then?"
Ryoga went bright red, Ukyou snapped back to reality and glared
at Mikado. "Don't be silly, me? Belong with that jackass? We're
just business partners."
"R-right." stuttered Ryoga. "What would I want with a girl like
her?"
*CLANG*
Ryoga yelped as Ukyou's spatula connected with his head.
"Jackass!" she growled.
Mikado frowned at Ryoga. "You are insensitive, how could you
demean such a flower?" He leaned towards Ukyou. "As of today,
I will cherish you."
Ukyou fended him off with the dented spatula. "Hold it right
there, I am _not_ interested in you!"
Mikado looked forlorn. "What a sad day, spurned by beauty as
well as spurned by the employment office. Do you not have
pity?"
"Like we'd believe that." muttered Ryoga rubbing his head.
Ukyou however lowered the spatula and peered intently at
Mikado. "Out of a job?"
"Yes, all I can do is Martial Arts skating." Mikado sighed,
his efforts to charm Ukyou forgotten in his own misfortune.
"I could have gone on, but I can't stand being with Azusa
anymore. Her 'cute' collecting is just out of control."
"What does he mean?"
Ryoga shuddered. "Believe me, you don't want to meet Azusa!"
Ukyou nibbled a fingernail in thought. "Hmmm... can you drive
Sanzenin?"
He blinked. "Yes, I had to get a license to drive the Kolkhoz
High School skating team I was coaching to the competitions."
"So you've driven vans and buses?" Ukyou asked eagerly.
"Yes."
Ryoga gazed at Ukyou in horror. "No, no no no, _no_!"
"Ryoga, it's perfect! We need another driver, he needs a job,
what could be more convenient?"
"The man is a sleaze! Five seconds ago he was chatting you up!"
"I can handle it. Do you know of anyone else who could do the
job at such short notice?"
"...."
"Thought not." Ukyou turned to Mikado who was listening in
total confusion. "We have a job for you."
"nonononononono.... baka girl... "
"Shut up, Ryoga. Well?"
"Doing what?" Mikado asked
"Driving a bus! Ryoga and I are partners in a Mystery Tour
venture and our first trip starts tomorrow, but we don't have
a reserve driver to relieve Ryoga. We need you!"
Mikado smiled, it was not a very glamourous offer, but it
would get him away from Azusa, and Ukyou Kuonji was so cute,
by the end of the tour he would make her fall in love with
him and steal a kiss from her lips. "I accept."
"Terrific!" Ukyou beamed, "our problems are over!"
Ryoga put his head in his hands. "No, I think they've just
begun."
***
THE NEXT DAY
At 6.30am, the converted bus parked outside the Tendo Dojo.
Ukyou stepped up to the door and knocked. Kasumi let her in.
"Ohayoo, Ukyou-chan. It's a lovely morning, ne?"
"Ohayoo, Kasumi-san. What are you doing here?" Ukyou asked as
she removed her shoes.
"Oh, we are staying with Father and Saotome-san while Akane
and Ranma are away. They need someone to look after them."
"Hmmm... yes, I guess they do."
They entered the dining room where Ranma and Akane were sitting
at the table with all their luggage, and finishing off their
breakfast.
"Ohayoo, Ranchan, ohayoo, Akane-chan." said Ukyou in a bright
tone. "Ready to go?"
"Ohayoo." said Akane with a little yawn. "We've nearly
finished."
Ranma yawned and rubbed his eyes. "Why the early start,
Ucchan?"
Ukyou smiled at him. "We have to pick up our reserve driver
and the other passengers, it's all part of the Hibiki Tour's
service."
Akane chuckled. "You are really getting into this aren't you!
I love your uniform!"
Ukyou was no longer wearing her okonomiyaki chef's clothes, she
was now dressed in a smart pants-suit which consisted of a cute
bolero style jacket over a softly styled shirt, tailored pants
and elegant boots (these Akane couldn't see as they were in the
genkan*). Her hair was pulled back into a smooth ponytail
and one of Ryoga's bandannas was around her neck. She smiled at
Akane's comment.
"Arigato, Akane-chan, this was Konatsu's design. He has a real
talent, ne?"
"Mmmm... "
Ryoga came in at that moment, he was dressed in a male version
of Ukyou's outfit, his bandanna however was still tied around
his head. He said good morning and helped Ukyou carry out the
bags.
Ranma stepped forward. "Can I help?"
"You just take your hand luggage, Ranchan." said Ukyou. "It's
our job to do all this."
"And our pleasure." said Ryoga smiling at Akane.
Akane smiled back. "You are so good at it too. I already feel
relaxed!"
"That'll be the day!" muttered Ranma.
Akane glared at him and then relaxed. "I am _not_ going to fight
with you on this holiday, Ranma. We don't want to spoil Ukyou
and Ryoga's present!"
Ryoga and Ukyou, who had watched the potential fight begin to
develop with interest, laughed nervously.
"Ah... haha..."
"Hehheh... "
"Have fun and take care." said Kasumi brightly.
Akane hugged her sister. "You look after yourself too, onesan."
"Where are Tendo-san and Saotome-san?" asked Ukyou and they
walked to the bus.
Ranma grinned. "I managed to convince Oyaji and Tendo-san that
we weren't leaving until tomorrow and that they should go on
a training trip for the weekend. If they had been here I know
they would have found a way to get involved in this."
Ukyou and Ryoga glanced at each other. Interference from the
corner would have been most unhelpful, a lucky escape!
Akane gasped in delight when she saw the interior of the bus.
"It's lovely! The brochures just don't do it justice! You two
must have worked really hard!"
"Yes" said Ukyou as she guided them to seats near the driver's
seat she thought about the sleepless nights and the bone-aching
work she and Ryoga had done. *This better be worth it!*
Ryoga got on after storing the luggage. He smiled at Akane and
nodded to Ranma. "Ready to go?"
Akane nodded excitedly. "This is great!"
"Let's go!" said Ranma, an uneasy expression crept across his
face. "Uh... Ucchan, is Ryoga driving?"
"Yes, Ranchan, but don't worry I'm guiding him."
Ranma still looked doubtful. "I think I know why we had to
start so early."
Ukyou sat down beside Ryoga and frowned. "Be nice, Ranchan."
"Doomed." muttered Ranma and then winced as Akane elbowed him
in the ribs.
Ryoga fired up the engine and the bus moved out.
***
End of Part Two
*GLOSSARY:
Genkan: Entranceway where shoes are kept
Ranma 1/2: The Magical Mystery Hibiki Tour
by Jaelle and Orla
***
The characters in this story are the property of Rumiko
Takahashi-sama. We prostrate ourselves at her feet and beg her
forgiveness for our temerity in using these characters. We're
not worthy! We're not worthy!
The other characters in this story are the copyrighted
property of Yuki Nasu and Pioneer LDC.
***
Part Three
"Hey look Akane! There's the dojo - again."
"Shut up, Ranma."
"Just pointing out interesting landmarks, Ryoga."
"Don't distract him, Ranma."
"Ryoga, you jackass! I said _left_!"
"Left, you say?"
"Right."
"Oh, right."
"NOOOOO!!!! Left, _LEFT_!!! Why did you go right?"
"You said right!"
"I was... oh, what's the use?"
"There goes Kasumi to the market."
"We'll probably see her coming back at this rate."
"Ranchan, you are _not_ helping!"
"Hey look, we're on a different patch of road! It's a
miracle!"
"RANMA..."
"Control, sugar. Remember you are the driver."
"Yes, ok, so where are we going now?"
"Ucchans to pick up Konatsu, then the Kuno household for
Nabiki."
"I can find those... Ranma, stop laughing!"
"Sure you can Ryoga, keep telling yourself that. Positive
thinking is very good for the spirit. Hey look, it's
Furinkan High School again!"
"That's good, that means we're not far from Ucchans. Go down
_this_ road Ryoga."
"I know where I'm going! Quit backseat driving!"
"Look you jackass, I'm directing you here, it's not my
fault you have all the directional instincts of a
depressed lemming! Now just pay attention to me and..."
"We're here." Ryoga stopped the bus. He turned in his
seat to glare at Ranma, "Any more smart aleck remarks
to make, Girly?"
Ranma leaned back in his seat. "You know I'm going to
have to complain to the management of this tour about
the treatment I'm receiving from the driver."
"I am the management!" yelled Ryoga.
"Yeah right," said Ukyou. "No arguing with the customers
MISTER Hibiki. Get out and help Konatsu. AND DON'T
WANDER OFF!!!"
"No trust, no trust, the abuse I get. This is hardly
helping my internal-work relationships." grumbled Ryoga.
"I took half a course in labour law once you know."
"What happened?" Ranma jeered. "You get lost inside
a university and couldn't find your way out?"
Ryoga's face flamed. "Yeah? Well I bet you couldn't do
quadratic equations if your life depended on it!" He
stomped off.
"Whoah," said Ranma. "I was just kidding!"
"Ranma," said Akane, "It's a little unfair of you to tease
Ryoga like this, he's just trying to do his best. And then
you complain when he reacts!"
"Awwwww, he's used to it. Besides it's his own fault for
being on such a short fuse."
"Look who's talking."
The conversation degenerated into its normal wrangling.
Outside the bus, Ryoga leant against a pole and tried to
slow his heartbeat. *She... she defended me against him!
Oh heart, slow your racing pace... Akane...*
"Ahem. Ryoga-kun!"
Ryoga turned around, tears pouring down his face.
Konatsu looked at him strangely. "So, you gonna help a
lady with her bags or what?"
Ryoga lifted his bags and turned towards the bus,
miraculously going the right way. "Life is good."
***
"And make a right turn here," Ukyou relaxed as Ryoga
correctly interpreted this direction. He wasn't really
so bad _inside_ Nerima. After all, he'd spent a lot of
time here.
Nabiki was waiting outside the doors of the Kuno house,
an impatient look on her face.
"This is not getting off to a good start," she said.
"You were supposed to be here an hour ago."
"Hey Nabiki lay off, for Ryoga this is _good_."
"Shut up Ranma!"
Nabiki shook her head and got onto the bus. She stopped
by the drivers seat and her eyes widened. "My my, you
_have_ done a great job on the bus! I'm impressed!" She
wandered down the aisle, looking at the wide spaces
between the table and chair seats. "_Very_ nice. Well,
if this job fails you two could always get a job as
renovators."
"Gee thanks," said Ryoga glumly. *Twelve years of
martial arts training and I can recondition a bus. Woo
hoo.*
"It's not going to fail!" asserted Ukyou. "Please, take
a seat."
Nabiki sat opposite Akane and Ranma and began to chat to
her sister quietly.
"Where's the next pick-up?" she asked.
"We have to pick up our reserve driver across town."
"Alright, ladies and gentlemen, the pool, on the amount of
time it will take to get there, is open. 1000 yen says two
hours!"
"RANMA!"
***
ONE HOUR LATER
"You lose Ranma." said Nabiki counting her winnings.
"Feh... luck."
Ryoga stopped the bus outside a modest apartment. He looked
at Ukyou. "Do you... ?"
"I'll get him," she said "You just help me load the bags."
"So who is the reserve?" asked Akane. "Anyone we know?"
"Uhhh... "
Ukyou stepped up to the door of the apartment and rang the
bell. Mikado opened it, he looked a little worried.
"Ukyou-san, you're late!"
"Gomen... we had a little trouble finding the place."
"I thought the map I drew was quite specific."
"It wasn't the map we had a problem with."
Mikado sparkled at her. "Never mind, I shall forgive you
for a kiss." He leaned forward, Ukyou ducked and grabbed
one of his bags.
"I hope you have everything you need." she said quickly
stepping away. "Does the uniform fit alright?"
"Yes, were your hands the nimble and skillful ones that
made it?"
"No, but you can thank the person who did make them in a
minute, Konatsu is on board."
"Konatsu, what a pretty name."
Ukyou bit her lip, but said nothing and led him to the bus.
Ryoga put the bags away and they got onto the bus.
"What is _he_ doing here?!"
"Ranma Saotome, we meet again after so long, and the fair
Akane also." Mikado took Akane's hand and made to kiss it.
Ranma slapped his hand away. "Hands off my fiancee!"
"You dare hit me?"
"Yeah, remember what I did to you the last time we met!"
Ryoga raised an eyebrow. "I thought I was the one who totalled
him!"
"Actually I think it was Azusa!" said Akane.
"Please don't mention that psychopath's name!" begged Mikado.
Ranma grabbed Ryoga's arm. "What possessed you to make _him_
the reserve?"
"It wasn't my idea."
"You let Ukyou talk you into this?"
"Hey, she's the one with the monster spatula."
"Good point."
Ukyou took over. "Mikado, this is our sponsor Nabiki Kuno and
this is the one who made our uniforms, Konatsu."
Mikado gazed at Konatsu. "Such a lovely name to go with such a
lovely girl."
Konatsu blinked. "Nani?"
"Uhh... Mikado, Konatsu is..."
"Leave it." whispered Ranma. "It's more fun this way."
"Ummm, ok." Ukyou shrugged. She and Ryoga went back up to
the front and they started off.
"Next pick up?" asked Ryoga.
"In Nippori, North of Ueno, in Tokyo city."
Ranma and Nabiki looked at each other. "Three hours."
challenged Nabiki.
"Five!" countered Ranma.
Akane just sighed.
***
"Is this it?"
"No, baka! This is Ginza!"
"Which way?"
"Ummm... I think you need to go straight ahead."
"You think? Ukyou if you don't know we're doomed!"
"Hey, I haven't been to Tokyo city that often."
"Well I have."
"Yes, Ryoga, we know, you've been _everywhere_."
"Wait! Look, that's Ueno park, we're in the right area, sort
of."
"Wah... I've lost my place on the map!"
"Do you want me to stop and ask for directions?"
"Jackass! WE are supposed to be the guides! I refuse to
embarrass myself by asking for directions! Besides, it never
does you any good."
"Hey, I think we are heading for Asakusa now."
"How do you know?"
"The sign saying 'Asakusa' tipped me off."
"Stop! STOP!!!"
"What now, Ukyou?"
"I'm lost!"
"We _are_ doomed."
"Ok, I've stopped."
"Good, ok, let's see... Ah, I have it now. If you turn
at the next left and go straight we should get there."
"_Should_?"
"Ok, let's go."
"Wow, he went the right way."
"Ranma, I'm not going to put up with you teasing poor Ryoga!"
"Akane, what are you defending that maroon for?"
"You are so childish Ranma!"
"You are so uncute!"
"Children, children, stop it, this is not helping."
"Thank you, Nabiki."
"No problem, Ukyou. Besides, if Ryoga gets to Nippori in the
next fifteen minutes I win my bet."
"AAARGH!"
***
"What's the time?"
"Twenty minutes since you last asked."
"Sempai!"
"Half past 11."
"Man they're late." said Miya. "Maybe we should try calling
again..."
"Wait, what's that?" asked Mitsuru. A bus came down the road.
"About time!" Suka grabbed their packs. "Thanks for waiting
with us guys!"
Shinobu merely nodded from the seat he'd been meditating in
for the last two hours. Mitsuru grinned.
"No problem. Now you have a good trip and don't worry about
your apartment, we'll take good care of it."
"Okay, I wasn't worried before but I am _now_."
"Hey, HEY!" yelled Miya. They turned to see the bus turn
left down a side street. Then back out just as quickly.
You could almost see a sweat drop on it. Suka thought he
could hear a muffled, "Oh NO!" as it continued up the street.
The bus rolled up to them and stopped. The door opened and
a young man stepped out. "Aren't you going to help?" he
asked someone inside. A small spatula bounced off his
forehead. Mitsuru frowned, chasing an errant memory.
"Fine, be that way." The young man bowed to the group waiting.
"Gomen nasai for the delay. Which ones are Miya and Hasukawa?"
"That's us, please call me Suka." said Hasukawa.
"Right Suka-san, Miya-san, my name is Ryoga Hibiki, I am your
driver and guide.
"Ha!" came a voice from the bus.
Ryoga sweatdropped, "Please board the vehicle. Allow me to
take your bags."
"Careful, they're kind of heavy, do you need a hand?" Suka
offered.
"No problem," Ryoga lifted them all up at once. "They're
not really heavy at all."
Shinobu raised an eyebrow. He'd watched Mitsuru, Miya and
Hasukawa _drag_ those bags downstairs in _teams_. Curious.
Miya hugged Mitsuru goodbye and waved at Shinobu. Suka
bowed to both his sempai friends and followed her onto
the bus.
"Have fun Hasukawa!" Mitsuru yelled. Ryoga closed the
baggage compartment and also got onto the bus, reseating
himself in the drivers seat. He pressed a button and the
doors closed. Then the engine started up again and the bus
moved off.
"Bye!" yelled Mitsuru. He lowered his arm. The bus came
around the corner and went past him again.
"BYE!" he yelled, waving harder. The bus came around the
other corner and went past him the other way.
"What the..."
The bus came back and went past him again.
"FOR CRYING OUT LOUD RYOGA TURN LEFT!!!" screamed a female
voice. "AND HURRY IT UP!"
Shinobu's eyes snapped open and he regarded the bus. A small
female figure was just barely recognisable beside the
driver.
"Hmmmmm..." he said.
***
"Phew!" said Ukyou. "Finally!"
"What the heck was all that about?" asked Ryoga.
"I can't explain. The horror. The terror. The unspeakable
dread!"
"Oh, you know Shinobu and Mitsuru then," said Suka. "I can
understand the reaction." Ukyou shuddered and then got a
hold of herself.
"Welcome aboard Hibiki Mystery Tours," she said. "I am Ukyou
Kuonji your cook and other guide. Word of warning, don't
follow Ryoga anywhere."
"We'd sort of worked that one out," said Mia. "Not much
of a sense of direction huh?"
"That's why it's called Mystery tours," said Ranma.
"Riiiiight. And I thought this would be a nice change for
us, you know, get out into the _normal_ world before we
got married." said Suka.
"Oh, you're engaged?" said Akane. "So are we!"
"Really? How wonderful!" Mia sat next to her. "My name
is Mia..."
Ukyou watched as the new couple got acquainted with Ranma
and Akane. She turned to Ryoga. "Where are we now?"
"Shinagawa."
"You jackass, that's... actually that's where we're
supposed to be." Ukyou looked at him in surprise. "Good
job Ryoga."
Ryoga grunted and kept an eye out for the next pickup.
He pulled the bus neatly up the curved drivethrough of
the New Shinagawa Prince Hotel.
"Well I suppose even million to one chances have to
happen sometimes." observed Ranma.
"Grrrr..." Ryoga got out of the bus and looked around.
*Hmmm... this place seems strangely familiar.*
Ukyou got off behind him and went to greet the young
green-haired woman nervously waiting in the lobby.
"Kiyone-san?"
"Uh yes!" Kiyone jumped up. "Thank goodness you're here,
I probably don't have much time left. She's sure to have
discovered that I didn't go to Shinenome like I said by
now."
"Uh... okay," said Ukyou. "If you'll let me take your
bags we can leave..." she turned around. "As soon as
our jackass driver stops chatting up the staff..."
She showed Kiyone onto the bus, loaded the luggage
and headed over to Ryoga, who was completely surrounded
by young women in hotel livery.
"Hibiki-san! We thought we'd never see you again!" one
of them squealed as Ukyou neared.
"Hello, Mai-san." said Ryoga nervously. "How are you
all doing?"
"We're fine, but we haven't felt nearly as secure as
we used to do when you were running security here.
We were all so worried when you just disappeared like
that!"
"Eh heh, sorry about that." Ryoga apologised. "It was...
unintentional."
"Ryoga... we have a schedule!" said Ukyou. "And we're
already way behind!" she looked at all the young women.
*Jeez, all these girls after him and he stutters like
crazy when he tries to talk to Akane. Pathetic.*
"You mean you haven't come back?" another girl cried out.
"Uh, I'd like to Mina-san," said Ryoga. "But I have
another obligation which I must fulfil first."
The assembled girls sighed. "Awwwwwwww!!!!"
"Sorry, sorry..." Ryoga began to move through them. Ukyou
sighed, grabbed his collar, and dragged him off.
"Who do you think she is Maria-chan?" Mai asked her
friend. "Girlfriend?"
"Could be," said Maria. "Who knew he liked aggressive
types?" They both sighed in longing.
Ukyou had boarded the bus and Ryoga was about to when
a small man ran up to them.
"Hibiki-kun!" he called. Ryoga turned. Uh oh. "Konnichi
wa Mitsubishi-san." he said. "I'd like to apologise for
disappearing on you like that."
Mitsubishi waved this aside, "You told us you couldn't
stay for long. Did you ever find that miscreant who had
stolen your only love?"
"Uhhhh... sort of." Ryoga said.
"Ex_cuse_ me, miscreant? Why that..."
"Shush Ranma."
Mitsubishi bowed briefly and handed Ryoga something.
"We're sorry to see you go and hope to see you again
sometime. You left before we could give you your last
paycheque, so we put half of it into your account as
requested, here is the other half."
"Arigato," said Ryoga. "This is very kind of you."
"After all you did, this is but a small token of..."
Kiyone stuck her head out the door, "Look, I'm sure
this is all very nice and happy but could we _please_
get going?"
"Excuse me," said Ryoga. "Please say goodbye to all
the others for me. And I hope to see you all again
someday."
He boarded the bus and they set off again. Going
down the road, they passed a blonde woman hurrying up
towards the hotel. Kiyone ducked under a table and
stayed there for half an hour before Nabiki coaxed
her into coming out and meeting the rest of the
crew.
***
"Last person," said Ukyou. "We're picking him up from
Yokohama station and then moving on to the boat at the
harbour which will take us to China.
"Right," said Ryoga. "Where's the turnoff for Yokohama?"
"You just went past it you jackass!"
"He hasn't got much of a sense of direction has he?"
said Kiyone.
"Yeah, sorry about this." said Konatsu.
"Oh no, it's _fine_ with me. If _he_ doesn't know
where he's going, then noone else can find us either!"
Kiyone leant back, "I can finally relax!"
"Go back and make the turn!"
"I'm _trying_!"
"You are so useless!"
"I'm sorry!"
"Stop apologising and get us to Yokohama before we end
up in Hiroshima!"
"I'm really really sorry."
"Actually, I've never been to Hiroshima," said Akane.
"Don't encourage him Akane-chan!" Ukyou yelled.
"THERE'S THE TURN!" screamed Mikado.
"TURN!"
"I CAN'T, WE'LL TIP OVER!"
"We WON'T!"
"We WILL!"
"No we... oh, yes we will." Ukyou turned around. "Will
everyone please move to the right hand side of the bus?
NOW!!!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!"
Yusaku watched as a tour bus took an impossible turn,
going up on one side set of wheels as all the passengers
screamed and pushed at the windows on the opposite side.
With a crash it fell back onto all its wheels and braked
next to him.
"Ohhhhh... please tell me this isn't my bus!"
The door opened, "Yusaku Godai?" panted a young woman.
"I'm Ukyou Kuonji, welcome aboard Hibiki Mystery Tours."
"ARGH!"
***
Ukyou pointed at the harbour they were passing. "Okay,
that's where we're going, I'm sure that won't be _too_
hard for you to get to."
"Yes Ukyou."
"Now just concentrate!"
"_Yes_ Ukyou."
"Pay attention."
"_Yes_ Ukyou!"
"Are you paying attention?"
"YES UKYOU!"
"Hey guys, we just missed the entrance." called Godai.
"Ssssssshhhh..." said everybody else. But it was too late.
"You imbecile! Turn around dummy!"
"I can't turn around here Ukyou, there are road laws you
know!"
"Look, just turn here idiot."
Ryoga stopped the bus. He folded his arms. "Alright, that's
it, I've taken all I can stand." He turned on the
microphone. "Anybody else that wants to make a comment on
my sense of direction can just come up here and say it. The
whole point of this is that it's a mystery! Now, if you'll
all look out the right hand side you'll see Sankei-en Garden.
This lovely park contains a number of historical buildings
that were brought here from other parts of Japan. It is
divided into an inner garden and an outer garden, and it
was laid out back in 1906 by Tomitaro Hara. The cost of
entry is 600 yen for both gardens or 300 just to visit one.
If you'll all now disembark, our lovely guide Ukyou will
tour you through the gardens."
"Oooooh!" said everyone. "Cool!"
Ukyou stared at him. "What? We have to make the boat!"
"They're open tickets Ucchan," said Ryoga. "We can take
any boat this week and they'll still be valid. Now focus,
we are here to run a tour guide. Making all these people
unhappy is not good for business. Now get out and take
them through the gardens before I get angry!"
Ukyou stared at him open-mouthed. "H-hai."
By this time all the other passengers had gotten off,
except for Nabiki, who touched Ukyou's shoulder. "He's
right you know. Have you noticed how everyone is looking
forward to this? This stop was a good idea Hibiki-kun."
Ryoga smiled, "Thanks Nabiki."
"Who knew you had it in you?" she said. "Shall we go
Ukyou?"
"Hai." said Ukyou. "Will you be okay here?"
"Leave Sanzenin behind, he needs to get used to the bus
anyway. And it will give poor Konatsu a break."
Ukyou paused. "Do you think we should tell him?"
Ryoga thought back to the martial-arts skating duel.
The humiliation, the embarrassment, the pain.
"Hell no." he said.
End of part three.
Ranma 1/2: The Magical Mystery
Hibiki Tour
by Jaelle and Orla
***
The characters in this story are the property of Rumiko
Takahashi-sama. We prostrate ourselves at her feet and beg her
forgiveness for our temerity in using these characters. We're
not worthy! We're not worthy!
The other characters in this story are the copyrighted
property of Yuki Nasu and Pioneer LDC.
***
Part Four
< > indicates speech in another language
***
NERIMA: Tendo Dojo
Kasumi tested the rice and smiled. "Perfect." she said.
"Anata. Lunch is ready."
She walked into the dining room and set the rice down.
Dr Tofu smiled at her as he seated the twins. "Arigato,
Kasumi-chan."
Kasumi sat beside the twins and began to serve lunch.
"There you are, Shoga-chan." she said to the little boy
giving him a bottle. "Calm down, Myoga-chan, here is yours."
"When are Tendo-san and Saotome-san returning?" asked Dr Tofu.
"Well, I believe Father said he expected to be returning
before 5pm, he and Mr Saotome want to make sure they have a
lot of rest before going on the Mystery Tour."
Dr Tofu frowned. "But the tour left this morning."
"Hai." said Kasumi calmly. "I'm sure they won't be too upset."
At that moment cracks appeared in the garden wall and then...
*BOOM*
"Nihao!"
Kasumi looked up. "Oh my. Konnichiwa, Shampoo."
The pretty purple-haired Chinese wall-breaking Amazon climbed
over the rubble of the wall and entered the dining room.
"Shampoo wake up today and see sun shining. It nice day to go
for picnic with Ranma!" she looked around, "Where Ranma now?"
Kasumi smiled. "He just left this morning."
"Where he leave? He go training? Shampoo waiting outside
Nekohanten all morning but he no come by."
"Ranma went on holiday." said Dr Tofu. "With Akane. It's a
mystery tour thing run by Ryoga Hibiki."
Shampoo's eyes widened. "Holiday? Tour? Run by lost boy?"
"Yes, it was an engagement present, both he and Ukyou Kuonji
went into partnership and gave them a free trip."
"Spatula-girl and lost boy?" Shampoo paused and then her
expression darkened and rage contorted her features. "They
trick Ranma! No-good, ugly, spatula-girl try to steal Ranma
for self!" She turned, fists clenched, battle-aura shimmering.
"Zaijian, Kasumi-san, Dr Tofu."
"Sayonara, Shampoo." said Kasumi, then she blinked as Shampoo
ran off at top speed, "Oh my, I do wish she had used the same
place she came in to leave." she got up and went to the
phone to call the repairpeople.
Dr Tofu sighed and ruffled his children's hair. "Looks like
your Auntie and Ranma are going to have an unexpected addition
to the group, still, I'm sure they can handle it."
***
Shampoo burst into the Nekohanten - totally frightening the
customers who were sitting by the wall she burst through.
Ignoring the startled outcry she raced past Cologne and up the
stairs into her room. She pulled out a pack and began to stuff
clothing into it. Cologne entered and frowned at her
great-granddaughter's activities.
"<What are you doing, Shampoo?>" asked Cologne speaking in her
native Chinese.
Shampoo paused and turned to face her. "<I have to hurry,
Great-Grandmother, or I could lose Ranma to that
spatula-girl!>"
"<What scheme has Ukyou Kuonji come up with now? We can thwart
her.>"
"<Not if she isn't here to thwart! She and that lost pig-boy
have teamed up again and have spirited Ranma and Akane away
on some mystery tour!>" Shampoo resumed her packing. "<I must
go after them and make sure Ranma is not taken from me.>"
Cologne considered for a moment. "<I understand your decision,
child, but have you thought of one thing?>"
"<What?>"
"<Ryoga Hibiki is the one giving this tour, will you be able
to _find_ them?>"
Shampoo looked worried, then her features hardened. "<It
doesn't matter, whatever it takes I will find them.>"
Cologne nodded. "<Good luck, Shampoo, I pray you come back
with what you want.>"
Shampoo smiled. "Xiexie, Great-grandmother." She picked up
her pack, went to the window and leapt out. Cologne watched
her leaping across the rooftops. "Zaijian,
Great-granddaughter."
***
Shanghai, the morning after:
"Thank God." said Ryoga. He bent and touched the ground.
"I do hope you're going to wash your hands now," said Ukyou.
"This ground is kinda muddy. Don't get your uniform dirty."
"Hai hai Okasan." said Ryoga. "Quit worrying, the worst
part is over now."
"What is it with you and water? It's not like you even got
seasick or anything!"
"Just shut up okay?" said Ryoga. "Someone like you could
never understand me!" *_Damn_ this curse,* he thought to
himself.
"You're _weird_." said Ukyou.
"Oh thank GOD!" said Ranma, walking down the gangplank.
"Land, sweet sweet land!"
Ukyou looked at him strangely.
"What?"
"Nothing, never mind. Where are the others?"
"They're helping Godai out of the bathroom. He's convinced
he's going to die, he keeps asking for someone called Kyoko."
"Jeez, it's only seasickness," said Ukyou.
"Hey, you weren't up close and personal when it kicked in."
said Ranma. "That guy elevates seasickness to a higher art
form."
"Yuck, I didn't need to know."
Ranma looked at Ryoga, "Shouldn't you be in the bus?"
"Mikado's in charge of getting it out of the cargo bay,"
said Ukyou.
"I thought he wasn't that great a driver."
"He's not, but we thought we'd give Godai a break by
making sure we get off _this time_."
"I told you that was an accident!"
"How could you get off one ship and onto another?!"
"It's not my fault!" Ryoga wailed.
Ranma and Ukyou shared a look, "Jackass." they said together.
Ryoga started to glow green faintly. Ranma patted him on the
shoulder. "Chill man, at least you know how to get out of
third gear."
"Right, let's get back to business." said Ukyou. "I can see
the bus coming, the others are headed towards the gangplank,
we're in Shanghai and we need to get to the Yuyuan Gardens."
she looked challengingly at Ryoga. "Think you can cope with
that?" she asked sweetly.
"Uhhh... you will stand next to me and tell me which way
to go, right?"
"YOU'RE SO PATHETIC!!!"
"Hey, don't worry man. I'll help." said Ranma.
*Urk. Plan, remember the plan!* "No no Ranchan," said Ukyou.
"I can manage. No problem."
*Two hours later*
"I can't read Chinese!" yelled Ukyou. "What on earth
possessed you to bring a map of China written in Chinese?"
"It's the only map of China I have!" said Ryoga.
"Oh this is hopeless," said Ukyou. "We'll have to ask for
directions. Pull over, by that guy over there."
The bus stopped next to a man on a bicycle.
"Nihao!" said Ukyou, leaning out the bus door. <Excuse me,
I'm a toaster. Can you fly the way to Yuyuhakusho Gardens?>"
The man looked incredibly confused, whilst Ryoga started to
laugh.
"Shut up Ryoga!" said Ukyou, frantically flicking through
her phrasebook. "Damn it, where is the phrase for 'I'm
lost'."
Ryoga eventually stopped laughing, "That's the one phrase I
know in any language," he said. He motioned her out of the
way and leant out the door. "Qingwen dao Yuyuan zenme zou,
women mi lu le."
The man smiled and rattled off directions in rapid Chinese.
Ryoga translated as Ukyou scribbled them down.
"End of the street, turn left. Keep going till you reach
the big hotel about halfway down, turn right at the next
intersection and you'll see it. Xiexie!" he said to the
man, who nodded and smiled again.
There was complete silence on the bus as Ryoga went back
to his seat.
"I didn't know you knew Chinese," said Ranma.
"I can only speak it a bit," said Ryoga. "I understand it
much better though, and I know the basic signs - Bath,
Hotel, Restaurant and Watch out, Landslides. Although that
last one is just a guess."
Ukyou bit her lip. "Ooki ni, Ryoga." she said softly.
"No problem, I'm used to asking for directions." said
Ryoga. "Following them is more difficult, which is why I
am now going to rely on _you_."
"Incredible," said Miya. "A man who will actually ask for
directions. Someone preserve him for posterity."
"Hey!" said Suka.
"Don't worry," said Nabiki. "He's one of a kind, thank
goodness, and he's perfectly safe. Nothing short of a nuclear
blast is going to endanger Ryoga the ridiculously strong."
"Hmph," said Ranma.
"Don't worry Ranma, I'm sure you, the ridiculously stubborn,
arrogant, pigheaded and fast, could probably hurt him a bit."
"_Thanks_ Nabiki."
***
At Yuyuan Gardens:
Ukyou stepped off the bus and held her flag high. "Alright
everyone, if you could just follow me, stay together please,
please stay together! Ryoga, this means YOU."
"What did I do?"
"Mikado stay with the bus, Ryoga, you're with us."
"Why does he get to go?" complained Mikado.
"He's the only one that can speak Chinese," said Ukyou.
"It's a pity that Shampoo isn't here," said Ranma.
"Says _who_?" said both Akane and Ukyou instantly.
"Well, she can speak Chinese better than any of us." said
Ranma. "After all, it's her native language, so of course
she'd be better at it than pig-boy."
Everyone moved away from Ranma.
"Who're you calling a pig?"
"Oh so you _want_ her along huh?"
"Shampoo is a purple-haired building-wrecker with ONE
brain cell and that's stretching it!" snarled Ukyou. "How
could you possibly even _think_ of that bimbo with ME...
er... I mean _Akane_ along?"
"You take that back Ranma!" yelled Ryoga. "How dare you
insult Akane?!"
Ukyou winced, *Crude, but it might just work.*
"I can't believe you're thinking of Shampoo!" said Akane,
steam pouring out of her ears.
*Or maybe not. Dammit Ryoga, wait till she's _listening_
before you do the white knight thing.*
Suka and Miya watched in amazement. "And I thought _we_
had lots of fights!" Suka said in amazement.
"Hmmm... this looks kind of familiar to me," said Godai.
"Me too," said Kiyone. "Are they always like this?" she
asked Nabiki.
"Pretty much," Nabiki replied. "Shall we go into the
gardens now?"
The group headed into the gardens and soon lost themselves
in the beauty of their surroundings and also the tacky bazaar,
leaving behind only Konatsu, who watched as the argument
escalated. *Ukyou-sama.*
***
Two hours later Nabiki and the others trailed out of the
Gardens carrying assorted packages. Konatsu greeted them
with a strained smile, in front of him Ranma, Akane, Ukyou
and Ryoga were still arguing, the disordered state of their
clothing indicated that a scuffle had broken out at one point.
"Ranma no baka!!"
"Kawaiikune tomboy!!"
"Take that back Ranma! I will not allow you to insult Akane
like that! Ukyou let me go!"
"Ryoga you imbecile! This isn't right and I will NOT let you
attack Ran-chan!"
"Fem-boy deserves it!"
"What did you call me?!"
"You heard me! A half-man like you has no right to love her!"
"At least I'm not a pig!!"
"Why you... "
"I can't see what your problem is anyway, man, it's not as if
Akane was any great prize or nothin'... "
*BAMN!!!*
Ranma fell to the ground with a thud as Akane whalloped him with
her trusty mallet.
Ryoga sneered at the fallen man. "Heh, there is such a thing as
justice, fool."
*WHAM!!!*
Ukyou batted Ryoga into the nearest tree with her spatula, he
crashed into it, and caused the trunk to break in half.
Nabiki shook her head. "You four are pathetic." she looked
sternly at Ukyou who met her gaze firmly. "This is not helping
you, I won't look favourably on a venture that causes too much
money to be lost on property damage." Nabiki's mouth quirked
into a half-smile. "I would think that you of all people would
realise what is riding on your success, Ukyou."
Ukyou's gaze wavered and she clenched her fists. "Yes, I
know." She bowed her head.
Ryoga pulled his face out of the tree trunk and looked back
at her. *Poor Ukyou,* he thought, *She could lose the restaurant
if this goes wrong. And to Nabiki no less! I can't let that
happen, she doesn't deserve _that_. _No one_ does.*
Ukyou opened her mouth to apologise when Ryoga stepped up to
her and bowed deeply. "I'm so sorry." he said from this
position. "Everyone, this was completely my fault and I
apologise fully."
Ranma, Akane, and Ukyou stared at him in amazement. *Bwah?*
Ryoga straightened up. "Please accept my apologies and
assurances that this will not happen again." He turned and
bowed to Ranma. "Gomen nasai Ranma. Please don't let this
spoil your holiday."
Ranma gaped at Ryoga. "... Uh... I mean... no problem."
Ryoga remained bowing. Ranma felt his cheeks flush and
he moved forward.
"Geez man, cut it out already. It's not like this isn't
what we normally do. Come on, stand up!"
Everyone else started talking. "Yeah, come on Ryoga, I'm
used to this sort of thing." "It's okay." "I forgive you."
Ryoga did reluctantly. "Thank you for your forgiveness
everyone. I will endeavour to ensure that the rest of
your holiday is as pleasant as possible."
Ukyou stared up at him. She touched his arm. "Ryoga...
doomo arigato."
Ryoga looked down at her face, and blushed furiously.
"Oh... oh it was nothing."
"No really, thanks. You didn't have to do that."
"Eh heh heh," Ryoga scratched the back of his head.
"No problem. After all, if you lose the restaurant who
else will feed me? It's not like Shampoo will give me
free food."
*WHAM*
"Why do we have to keep talking about Shampoo?!!!!" yelled
Ukyou, peeling her spatula off his head.
"Sorry... sorry..." Tears flowed from Ryoga's eyes. "And
now if everyone will just follow me and board the bus..."
*WHAMMMMMMM*
"The bus is THIS way!"
***
Yokohama:
"What you mean there no boat?"
"Exactly what I told you three times already, lady. There
are no more passenger liners leaving for Shanghai until
tomorrow."
Shampoo fumed. It had been going so well, she had managed to
obtain a copy of the Hibiki Mystery Tour itinerary (it had
been very easy to convince Happosai that Ukyou kept a stash
of satin lingerie in her bedroom and if he could just pick up
one little thing for her, she would be _most_ grateful. Shampoo
had enjoyed booting the little pervert into the stratosphere
after he gave her the itinerary). Then she had set out at top
speed for Yokohama only to discover when she arrived that the
dockworkers were involved in some industrial action and there
would be no ships leaving for China until the next day. After
_that_ was over she learnt that although the freight ships were
going, the passenger liners were still delayed!
[We don't know if Japan has industrial action or not, but then
again, anything can happen in the Ranma universe! - Orla]
Shampoo sighed *I shall just have to be faster when I get to
China* she thought. *Unless... I could go to one of the places
they will be going to, then all I have to is wait!* Her
expression brightened and she turned to the harbour master.
"Shampoo wonder if there boat to other place?" she checked the
itinary. "Hangzhou? Fuzhou? Xiamen?"
The Harbour Master rolled his eyes, this girl was just _not_
listening! "Lady, the only ships going out are freight!"
Shampoo bit her lip, she was getting desperate. "Ok, Shampoo
go freight."
"They don't take passengers!!!"
"Any go to China?"
He gave up. "Hai, there is one going to Fuzhou tonight. You
could ask them, but I don't think they'll take you."
"Worth try. Shampoo must go China!"
"Go to dock 23, ask for Ling - he's the Captain. Now please
leave me alone!!"
"Xiexie!" called Shampoo running out of his office.
He glared after her. "Great, now I have another hole in the
wall to match the one she made coming in!"
Shampoo ran towards dock 23, a grim smile on her lips. At
last, a break! The last couple of days had been so
frustrating. She couldn't believe this was happening.
Everything had been going so smoothly up till now. Oh
sure, Ranma had announced that he was finally going to
marry the green-eyed monster Akane, but this was just a
temporary setback. She was sure that he would soon come
around and realise that the only one for him was his
lovely Shampoo. If only the stupid spatula girl hadn't
interfered. Shampoo bared her teeth. She was going to
enjoy beating the sauce out of Ukyou. And if stupid
directionless pig-boy got in the way... well, she
hadn't eaten well in the last couple of days...
***
Shanghai:
The tour bus screeched to a halt outside a small office that
sat on the edge of a large camp area. Ukyou stood up and
turned to the passengers, switching on the microphone.
"Okay, people these are the Yuyuan camping grounds, as you
can see we are not far from the Gardens... "
"Although you could be forgiven for thinking otherwise since
it took one hour to get here." murmered Ranma.
"Ranchan!"
"Sorry, Ucchan." Ranma gave her a cheeky smile, Ukyou's stern
expression softened.
"Achem... anyway, please wait here while I go and let the
caretaker know who we are." Ukyou switched off the microphone
and turned to Ryoga. "Ummm... Ryoga?"
"Uh?" Ryoga looked up her, his eyes were dull with tiredness.
Ukyou leaned towards him. "Gomen, Ryoga, I know that you are
tired, but I... I... " she stuttered, an embarrassed expression
crossing her face.
Ryoga sat up, his heart gave a strange thump as he looked into
her eyes. "N-nan desu?"
"Would you... would you come with me? I need your language
skills!" whispered Ukyou urgently.
Ryoga felt slightly disappointed. "Hai." He opened the bus
door and went outside with her.
Kiyone frowned. "What is the deal with those two?" she
wondered aloud.
Godai looked wistful. "The way he acts, he reminds me of me...
er... of someone I know."
"There is obviously some feeling between them." said Miya.
Suka looked doubtful. "You think? They seem to fight alot."
Ranma listened in and a thoughtful expression crossed his face.
"Ryoga and Ucchan, ne?"
Akane glanced at him. "What are you thinking, Ranma?" she
asked a suspicious note in her voice.
Ranma put his arm around her and drew her head close.
"Remember when we thought Ryoga and Ucchan were dating?"
"At the cave of lost love? Yes, but we were wrong, so... "
"So what I'm thinking is that it would be really cool if they
did get together. Ucchan's my best friend, I'd like her to be
happy, and Ryoga, well... he needs someone like her to look
after him."
Akane blinked. "Are you suggesting that _we_ play matchmaker??"
"Why not? This is the _perfect_ opportunity! Here we are all
together on this trip, Ucchan has to work closely with Ryoga,
he'll soon see how cute she is and if we just nudge them in
the right way... "
"Unfortunately subtlety is not your strong point, Ranma."
Nabiki twisted in her seat to face them.
"Onechan! You were listening?"
Nabiki ignored Akane's outrage and looked directly at Ranma.
"However, I believe your idea has some... potential." a smile
played on Nabiki's lips. "If you will _allow_ me, I think I
could help you achieve your desired goal."
Ranma raised his eyebrows. "Oh, yeah? What's _your_ gain in
all this?"
Nabiki affected an injured expression. "Really, Ranma, I will
help you because it's a good thing." Her mouth streched into
a full grin. "I believe that Ukyou and Ryoga _deserve_ each
other."
Akane frowned, there was more to Nabiki's willingness to help
than met the eye. *Still... * Akane thought *I have to admit
that pairing Ukyou and Ryoga looks like a good thing. Ok, so
they argue, but so do Ranma and I, if we could push them in
the right direction they could be very happy.*
Ranma rubbed his head. "Well, I've gotta admit that you would
be better at this than me." he confessed to Nabiki. "Ok, I
accept your help, but nothing that will hurt 'em!"
"Trust me."
In the seat opposite Nabiki, Konatsu sat looking out the window
his eyes filled with tears. *Ukyou-sama and Hibiki? Noooooo!*
He felt a touch on his shoulder and looked around. Mikado
smiled down at Konatsu, his teeth sparkled. "Feeling lonely,
lovely one?"
*Oh no, I wish he would leave me alone!* "N-no, Sanzenin-san,
just tired."
Mikado sat beside him. "You can sleep on my shoulder."
*Yuck* "I-I... "
"We're back!" Ukyou and Ryoga re-entered the bus. Ukyou
noticed Sanzenin crowding Konatsu. "Hey! Mikado! No hitting
on the passengers!"
Mikado moved slightly away from Konatsu and winked at Ukyou.
Ukyou sighed. "And before you ask, jackass, I'm not jealous."
Ryoga yawned. "Can we get going to our assigned spot now?"
Ukyou plastered a bright smile on her face. "Yes, we have
been given a nice place to pitch camp, it is located near the
showers and other amenities." she informed everyone.
Ryoga mangaged to get to the camping spot without trouble,
although he continued to yawn. Ukyou showed everyone where
the amenities were and told Mikado to unload the tents, as
Ryoga stood up to help she held him back.
"Ryoga, I don't want you do any more." Ukyou's voice was
concerned.
He stared at her. "What do you mean? I have to help pitch the
tents!"
"You won't help anyone if you collapse." Ukyou put an arm
around his shoulders. "Hey sugar, you look half-dead and
that's making me worried!"
He swallowed, she was so close and she was being so... so
kind. "Ano... so... you... "
Ukyou squeezed his shoulder. "I want you to go to the showers
and have a nice hot shower to refresh yourself, then I want
you to get some sleep, ok?"
"H... hai."
Ukyou gave him another hug and smiled, then she turned and
bounded down the steps.
Ryoga blinked and slowly began to breath normally. He went
to his pack and pulled out a towel and some soap. "Guess
she's right." He descended the steps and nearly ran into Akane.
"A-Akane-san!"
"Hey, Ryoga." Akane smiled up at him. "Ukyou asked me to take
you to the showers." She began to walk towards the shower
block,
"S-she did? O-oh." Ryoga's mind whirled as he followed Akane.
*This must be part of the plan, I have Akane all alone! Ok,
I have to say something, something interesting!* He gulped and
opened his mouth.
"Ukyou has really been taking care of you, hasn't she?" said
Akane lightly before he could utter a word.
*Huh?*
"She seems to get along with you. Do you like working with
her?"
*What is she talking about Ukyou for?* "Uh... it's okay."
"I always thought Ukyou was pretty, she looks so good in that
uniform. Don't you think she's pretty, Ryoga?"
*Wha... what?* "I... I... well, sure... I guess so." *Right,
now I have to say that _Akane_ is beautiful.* Ryoga turned to
her, ready to compliment her.
"She's smart too, look at all the things she's done." Akane
smiled. "I really admire her for running Ucchan's by herself
and taking college courses, any guy who falls in love with her
will be really lucky."
By this time Ryoga was totally confused, instead of having an
intimate talk with Akane, he was being bombarded with images of
Ukyou, it was very disturbing. He cleared his throat and tried
to get the conversation on the right track.
"Uh... Akane-san?"
"Yes?"
"Uh... nice night this moon, ne?" *Damn!*
Akane blinked. "Sure... Oh look, here's the showers!"
Ryoga glared at the concrete block in front of him and wished
them far away. Akane pushed him towards the opening.
"Have a nice shower, Ryoga-kun!" she said cheerily.
Ryoga entered in despair. *I failed, the perfect opportunity
and I blew it!*
He looked around. The showers numbered three open stainless
steel cubicles. Opposite the showers was a long stainless steel
set of basins below a long mirror. There were cubbyholes to put
clothes in, and hooks for towels. At one end another chamber
led to the toilets. Ryoga placed his towel on a hook, turned
on one of the showers (carefully avoiding the first blast of
cold water) and slipped off his clothes. He stepped into the
shower and sighed in satisfaction as the hot water hit his
tired limbs. *This is good. Ukyou was right.* He let the water
run over his head. *She is pretty... * the faint thought
trembled through his mind.
Outside Akane hesitated, wondering if she should wait for Ryoga
to finish so she could help him back or come back/send someone
in ten minutes.
"Akane!" Ranma's voice startled her.
"Ranma?" she whirled to face him, he was carrying a towel and
soap. "Is your tent up already?"
"Yeah, I thought I'd avoid the rush and grab a shower." Ranma
sidled up to her. "How did it go?"
Akane looked doubtful. "I don't know, he seemed pretty startled
and embarrassed when I kept on about Ukyou."
"Then he must like her!" announced Ranma cheerfully, he winked.
"I'll work on him a bit more." he said as he entered.
Akane sighed, sometimes Ranma was too sure of himself!
"Nihao?" An old man dressed in a faded uniform came up to her.
Akane smiled. "Nihao."
The old man started saying something in Chinese, Akane shook
her head.
"I don't understand, sorry. Umm... Wo... wo fingbudong?"
He smiled and nodded then bowed and pointed to the showers
before disappearing behind the building. Akane frowned.
*What was he trying to say? Perhaps there is something wrong
with the showers. Should I tell Ranma and Ryoga to get out?
How?*
Akane took a deep breath and yelled. "Ranma!!! Get out of
there!!!"
***
Ranma greeted Ryoga as he entered the showers. "Feeling better
man?"
Ryoga glanced at Ranma. "Much." he said curtly.
Ranma turned on the shower next to Ryoga's, hung up his towel
and disrobed. "What's wrong with you?" he asked getting in
the shower.
Ryoga leant his forehead against the shower wall and said
nothing.
"Are you ok?" Ranma asked when he had no response from the
other cubicle.
"I'm fine, I was hoping that I could relax in _private_"
"Not in a public shower!" chuckled Ranma. "You'd better hope
that no girls walk in here accidently, these are the only
showers in our area." A sly look crept over Ranma's face.
"I bet you wouldn't mind if Ukyou walked in on you though."
"....." Ryoga's blood pulsed, his nose twitched.
"RRRAAAAANNNMMMA!" he growled. This was too much, first
Akane's confusing conversation and now this, what was going
on???
Ranma chuckled. "Oh, come on. You can't fool me, you... "
"Ranma!!! Get out of there!!!"
Both Ranma and Ryoga paused at the sound of Akane's voice.
"Wha... ?" went Ranma.
Then, suddenly, the water went ice-cold.
"YYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"
End of Part Four.
Glossary:
Zaijian = Goodbye
Xiexie = Thank you
Ooki ni = Thank you (Ukyou speaks in Kansai dialect)
Qingwen dao Yuyuan zenme zou, women mi lu le =
Excuse me, we're lost, how do we get to Yuyuan?
Ranma 1/2: The Magical Mystery
Hibiki Tour
by Jaelle and Orla
***
The characters in this story are the property of Rumiko
Takahashi-sama. We prostrate ourselves at her feet and beg her
forgiveness for our temerity in using these characters. We're
not worthy! We're not worthy!
The other characters are copyright to Yukie Nasu and Pioneer
LDC.
C & C is welcome (although we don't like flames!). You can
contact us at either: ladyorla@yahoo.com or jaelle@ihug.co.nz
For more of our fanfiction visit our site 'Insane Musings'at:
http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~jaelle/Jaelle_Orla.htm
***
This story occurs four years after Ranma 1/2 volume 38.
***
Part Five
***
"AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!"
"Ranma! Ryoga!" cried Akane, "Are you alright?
What happened?!?"
In the showers Ranma-chan gasped for breath and
quickly turned off the cold cold water. Swallowing
and shivering she called out to Akane.
"I-it's ok, t-the w-water just w-went c-cold."
"That's what that old man was trying to tell me!"
said Akane.
"What?"
"Never mind, I think the water might be cold for
a while. Is Ryoga alright?"
Ranma-chan peered into Ryoga's cubicle and looked
down at the very wet, very miserable piglet. "Uh...
he's fine, just getting his breath."
She turned off the water and knelt down in front
of Ryoga. "Listen, I'll distract Akane and get her
away from here, then I'll come back with some hot water."
Ranma-chan stood and pulled on her clothes. "Don't _move_
anywhere! There is no way I could find you and if someone
not in our group grabs you, well, there is always a chance
of you becoming sweet and sour pork!"
Ryoga bweed unhappily.
"Pipe down!" hissed Ranma-chan. "Do you want Akane to hear
you?"
"Ranma? What are you... ah!" Akane jumped back in surprise
when Ranma-chan popped out.
"Come on Akane," she said. "I need some hot water!"
"What about Ryoga?"
"Ummm... well, after he got over the shock he decided
he liked washing in cold water, you know, keeps him tough
and all." lied Ranma-chan tugging at Akane's hand. "Let's
go!"
"What if he needs someone to guide him back?"
"Don't worry! I'll come back as soon as I've changed."
Ranma-chan began to run dragging Akane after her.
"H-hey, chotto... "
Meanwhile, back in the showers, Ryoga sat in a cold puddle
feeling utterly miserable. *This sucks* he thought *I've been
_so_ careful all throughout this trip and now this happens! And
now I will be beholden to Ranma!*
"Ano...?"
Ryoga froze when he heard the voice outside. *Please don't be
coming in!*
"Umm... is anyone in there?" the voice, a female one, called out.
Ryoga looked around frantically wondering if there was anywhere
he could hide or if he should just make a break for it out the
door. *No, if I get lost it will make things worse!*
"I guess it is empty then." Kiyone entered the showers and placed
her toiletries on the sink bench.
Ryoga remained completely still and prayed that ahe wouldn't
look in his direction.
Kiyone began to put up her hair, humming as she piled the heavy
green mass. "Mmmmhmmm... I am lonely like the moon, you are far
away as the stars... eh?" She whirled and stared at Ryoga's
clothes - still neatly folded on the shelf. "Those are... those
are Ryoga's." She frowned. "But if he's in here why didn't he
answer me?"
*Please don't let her see me, I hope she goes away!*
However, Ryoga's pleas went unanswered as Kiyone swept her
gaze over the room and eventually her eyes rested on the small
black pig. "Where did you come from?"
Ryoga decided to bluff it out, he put on his best 'I-am-just-a
-little-pig-aren't-I-cute' expression. Kiyone squatted down and
looked at him. "You're cute... but why do you have one of Ryoga's
bandannas around your neck? Are you his pet?"
Ryoga winced inwardly. *Damn, forgot about the bandanna! Still,
it might be okay, Akane never made the connection.*
"No you can't be." Kiyone mused. "I'm sure we would have seen
you by now if you belonged to him. Besides, why would he leave
his clothes and you here? I don't think he would run off naked!"
Ryoga felt ill, this woman was too clever, she was pulling all
the evidence together and coming to the most logical explanation,
as if she was a detective.
Kiyone gave the pig in front of her a direct look. "You are Ryoga
aren't you." she stated.
Ryoga felt his world crack, his eyes filled with tears and he
waited, trembling, for her cry of disgust.
"How interesting... " Kiyone leaned forward to study him. "How
_do_ you do it? Washu would love to get her hands on you. Oh
Ryoga, don't look so upset! I'm used to weird things like this!"
Ryoga stared at her. *She isn't upset?*
"Obviously the change isn't under your control or you would
have returned to human form by now, so there must be a trigger."
Kiyone looked around. "Let's see, you are still sitting in
the shower and you are wet so you must have been in the shower
so the water was running when it happened I guess I would say
that water is the trigger, I don't know how you turned it off
though."
Ryoga bweed excitedly and nodded his little head. Kiyone smiled.
"Okay, so I'm right about water. Is it the _temperature_ of the
water? If it was simply water you wouldn't be able to wash at all."
Ryoga jumped up and down in frustration trying to convey the words
'hot water' in pig. Kiyone looked puzzled, then she shrugged. "I
think the only thing I can do is turn the shower back on and hope
it reaches the right temperature to activate the change." She
stood up and turned the shower on, cold water came pouring out.
"I'll wait outside for five minutes." she called. "When you've
changed come out, I want to know what's going on!"
Kiyone left and Ryoga sat under the cold water and waited. Four
minutes later it changed to hot and Ryoga was back in his human
form.
Kiyone waited outside. "Why do I always get the weirdos?" she
murmered
Footsteps sounded and Ranma, now back in his male form, ran up
to the showers carrying a kettle. He pulled up short when he
spotted Kiyone.
"Konbanwa, Ranma." said Kiyone brightly. "What are you doing
with the kettle?"
Ranma looked down at the kettle. "This kettle?"
"That kettle."
"Uh... well, yes... " Ranma racked his brain for an explanation.
"It's... uh... it's for tea."
"Tea? In the showers?"
"Sure, sure... I do it all the time... haha!"
Ryoga came out at this point, he was dressed and carrying his
towel and soap, an embarrassed flush on his face. "Arigato
Kiyone." he murmered his eyes fixed on the ground.
"No problem, Ryoga."
Ranma gaped at Ryoga. "Nani?"
Ryoga looked up and saw Ranma. "Oh... Ranma... I... "
"How did you get back to normal?" demanded Ranma, he glanced
at Kiyone. "I mean... how nice to see you, lovely night, ne?"
Kiyone smiled. "Calm down Ranma, I helped Ryoga out of his
prediciment."
Ranma glared at Ryoga. "That's the last time I bust a gut
trying to help you!"
Ryoga ignored him and bowed to Kiyone. "Arigato Gozimasu for
you help. Can I ask another favour though?"
"As long as you promise to explain all this soon."
"I will. Can you... please... don't tell anyone about this,
Ranma is the only one who knows. I can't let Akan... anyone
else find out!"
"I won't breathe a word." promised Kiyone.
"Arigato. I will tell you everything."
"Tell Kiyone what?" a new voice caused them all to whirl around.
Ukyou and Miya stood there, toiletries and towels in hand, and
Ukyou had an enquiring look on her face. "What's up? You all
seem a bit tense."
"N-nothing." stuttered Ranma. "Come on Ryoga, I'll take you back
to the campsite."
"Why do you have a kettle Ranchan?" Ukyou asked, but Ranma had
already run off dragging Ryoga with him.
"Crazy kids." Kiyone smiled. "Shall we go in?"
"Yes, I am dying for a nice hot shower." said Miya.
Ukyou followed them inside her mind preoccupied. Ranma had been
carrying a full kettle of hot water and he had been in his male
form so _he_ didn't need the hot water. That left Kiyone and Ryoga
as the only possible candidates for Jusenkyo curses. Ukyou was
100 percent sure that Kiyone didn't have a curse, so that meant
that Ryoga... *He _does_ have a Jusenkyo curse! That would explain
why he's always so paranoid about water. but what is is? It must
be bad or he would have told us.*
She shook her head. *What an idiot he is!*
***
Interlude
Sea Route to Fuzhou:
Shampoo yawned and settled herself on the taupalin. Hopefully
no one would think to look down here and she would get to China
undetected. Of course she wouldn't have had to stowaway if it
hadn't been for that stupid Captain Ling! How could he not
understand the importance of the situation. She mewed in
exasperation, then purred. Sometimes this cat thing wasn't
all bad. Except for Ranma's violent fear of course. And that
embarrassing incident with the herbal tea leaves. How was she
supposed to have known there was catnip in some of these
things. Mousse had almost died from blood loss when she'd
rub... anyway... the stupid blind duck-boy was no longer in
her life, thank goodness, the only important one now was
Ranma. She stretched and yawned again. And now... sleep.
***
The Next Morning:
After awakening to the sounds of Ukyou rhythmically banging
her spatula against the bus like some overgrown dinnerbell,
the group ate a hurried breakfast of okonomiyaki and called
advice to Ryoga as he hammered the dents out of the bus.
"Did you have to do this?"
"Sorry. We don't have an alarm clock."
"I'd much rather be woken by the sweet tones of your voice."
"Give it a rest Mikado, some of us are trying to eat here."
Mikado blinked. "So it's individual time now?"
"No," said Ukyou, bringing out a long list. "We have a
schedule to keep to. First, the sights. Then everyone has
two hours free time. Ryoga this does not include you, I need
you to translate, and who knows where you could get to in
two hours?"
"I resent that!"
"But it's so true!"
"SHUT UP RANMA!"
The group set off, with Ukyou in the lead (no surprises
there) waving her spatula like a flag. Ranma and Ryoga
winced everytime it entered their vague area, having been
on the receiving end a few too many times.
First off, they visited the Bund, a series of neo-classical
buildings, which used to be the equivalent of Wall Street.
Ryoga knew a lot about this area for some reason. Ukyou
and Ranma suspected it had something to do with all the
tourist operators who waved at him, but not understanding
the Chinese, they were left to their silent suspicions.
Then Ukyou took them to the Jade Buddha temple. While the
group admired the 2 metre high white jade Buddha, Ryoga
promptly got lost, and had to be rescued before the
Temple closed for lunch. The crowd was then treated
to the sight of Ukyou beating him nearly senseless with
her spatula, before Akane intervened, reminding her that
they needed his language skills. Ryoga then amused everyone
by continuing to scream in pain, this time in Chinese.
After a quick stop for lunch, Ukyou let everyone loose in
Nanjing Donglu, Shanghai's "Golden mile", so-called for all
the shopping malls.
"Look people, you have more than two hours, (cos I've had
enough for one morning), make your own way back to the
campsite. Dinner will be at 5 pm, and then we will be
setting off for our next destination. Mikado you're free
too, but make sure you get some rest before tonights big
drive."
"Shall we go together?" the light glinted off Mikado's
teeth as he smiled at Konatsu, who backed off. A brief,
calculating smile crossed his face. "I'd like that
Sanzenin-san." he replied cheerfully, and arm in arm,
they strode off.
Nabiki prepared her credit cards and headed for the
more expensive shops, Kiyone in tow. Akane and Ranma
started some incomprehensible fight and wandered off
by themselves, whilst Miya, Suka and Godai all voted
to visit the Hua Lian Department Store.
"Phew," said Ryoga, "Peace at last." He slumped.
"What do you think you're doing?" Ukyou demanded.
"Resting?"
"We have to work on a plan." Ukyou said.
"Do we HAVE to?" Ryoga groaned. "I'm TIRED and my head
hurts, owing to a combination of a certain person waking
me up at ungodly hours of the morning, and then beating
me over the head with a giant spatula."
"Do you want Akane or not?" Ukyou demanded. She thought
she heard, "*No reward is worth this.*".
"What?"
"I said YES UKYOU SIR!" said Ryoga, straightening and
saluting.
"You know Ryoga, ever since you returned to Nerima you've
had a real attitude problem." said Ukyou. Ryoga rolled his
eyes. "I'm sorry Ukyou, I thought you liked men who were
assertive, or at least rude."
"Hey!"
"I'm sorry," said Ryoga. "I'm afraid my experiences with
Akari have made me less..."
"Spineless?" Ukyou suggested.
"Thank you." said Ryoga sarcastically. He shook himself,
what had gotten into him today? Must have gotten out of bed
on the wrong side. "Look, it's not the best place for a
conversation here, if there's nothing you want here, we
could go back to the campsite and talk while we wait for
the others to finish up."
"Good idea," said Ukyou. "I'll just to pick up a few more
ingredients for the okonomiyaki, then we can talk. Are
there any stores you want to go to?"
"No thanks," said Ryoga.
***
At the campsite, he watched as Ukyou spun and threw the
okonomiyaki into the air.
"Here you go," she said. "Eat it while it's hot."
"Thanks," he said, chowing down.
"I've been thinking about the Ranma/Akane situation,"
said Ukyou. "Because of Mikado's inability to get out
of third gear, this means you'll have more of the driving
to do, and means you'll be more tired, so we're going to
have to schedule things more carefully." She frowned, and
sighed. "If only we had another driver, but we don't have
the extra money to hire anyone."
"Why don't you drive?" Ryoga asked, wiping his mouth.
"Me? I don't know how to drive!"
"I could show you," he offered. "It's not that hard, Mikado
notwithstanding."
Ukyou blushed. *Drive? ME?* She twiddled her fingers. "I
don't know - don't you have to have a qualified instructor
or something?"
"We're going to be on a whole lot of back roads in China."
Ryoga said. "Damn near everyone else will be self-taught,
if we meet any cars at all. There's no problem. Anyway,
I've done a defensive driving course, I know what to do.
I did the course three times."
"Oh my God, you mean you failed the first and second times?"
"No, I just couldn't get out of there." Ryoga blushed.
"I... I guess we could try." Ukyou said.
"Alright, we'll start now." said Ryoga, standing up. "I'll
take the bus somewhere quiet, and you can have a go."
***
"Alright... now just gently let the clutch out."
*Judder... thud... thud... judder... stall.*
"Okay, you almost had it that time." Ryoga wiped his brow.
Ukyou was biting her lip in concentration, glaring at the
steering wheel. "Ano Ryoga, I don't think I can do this."
"Sure you can. It's easy."
"No it's not."
"Look, it's easy if I and Mikado can do it? Are you saying
that you are less intelligent than Mikado?"
"WHAT?" Ukyou snarled and put her foot back down on the
clutch. "Alright, clutch in, engine on, release clutch,
press accelerator." The bus lurched forward and then
continued at a more slow and sedate pace. Ukyou threw her
hands up. "YES! I DID IT!!"
"HANDS ON THE WHEEL!" screamed Ryoga. "Hands on wheel,
eyes on road. Do not forget these things!"
"Oh fooey," said Ukyou. "This is easy, now what?"
"Now we change gears."
"Shimata!"
Ryoga sighed. "Okay, speed up a little, put the clutch back
in, move the gear shift to second gear, release the clutch,
press the accelerator and..."
"SLOW DOWN SLOW DOWN!" Ukyou yelled. "ONE AT A TIME!"
"Okay... speed up a little."
"How much."
"At least to 15 kilometres [Hey, we're New Zealanders. We use
metric. Deal with it. - J.]." Ryoga said. "Now..."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!" Ukyou screamed and hit the
brakes as a small, overloaded car screamed past them, narrowly
missing the bus as it moved back into their lane. Ryoga's head
slammed forward into the dashboard. "Iettai!"
"Oh my god ohmygodohmygod..." Ukyou said. "I can't DO this I
CAN'T!" she sniffled. Ryoga rubbed his head and watched in
horror as tears filled her eyes. "Ano... Ukyou... no..."
She stood up. "I can't do this. We'll die... Maybe you should
teach Mikado how to get into fourth gear..."
"You were doing fine," said Ryoga. "There are complete idiots
out there. I mean look at me, they gave me a licence." he
patted her shoulder nervously.
"But you're a good driver. You don't get nervous." Ukyou
sniffed.
"How do you know? You weren't there for my first lesson."
said Ryoga. "I almost hit someone. Then I nearly crashed into
the side of a building, then I almost hit some cows. It was
a disaster. But at least noone got hurt." Ukyou stared at him.
Tears started to pour down her cheeks. "WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!"
she bawled and clutched his shirt. "WAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!"
Ryoga stared at her and nervously patted her head. *God I hope
that this isn't enough water to trigger the curse,* he prayed.
"It's okay, it's okay, you're doing okay..." he said. *Now let
go of me dammit.*
Sniffling, Ukyou sat back up and put her hands on the wheel.
*Phew.*
"Alright. Let's go!"
***
Godai, Miya and Suka were the first ones back to camp.
"Oh no, don't tell me that Ryoga's gotten both of them AND
the bus lost!" said Suka.
"Maybe they needed petrol?" suggested Godai.
"You're both hopeless," Miya pointed to the note stuck to
Ryoga's tent.
"Gone driving. Back by 4. R & U."
"Gone... driving?" asked Godai. "Doesn't he do enough of
that."
Just then a taxi pulled up. Kiyone and Nabiki tumbled out,
laughing and hauling out huge packages, all with labels
like Gucci and Chanel on them.
"Hey gang," said Kiyone, "Where's the bus."
Miya picked up the distinctive smell of sake on her breath
and looked at Nabiki, who smiled a slightly unbalanced
smile. "Hope they haven't driven off with my investment."
she said.
"Kawaiikune!"
"Baka!" *WHAM*
"Hi Akane, Ranma," said Godai without turning around.
"Hey hey, where's the bus?" asked Ranma.
Godai passed him the note.
"Ooooh, gone driving... how romantic." Ranma grinned. "Who
knew he had it in him?"
"What is THAT?" demanded Nabiki. They turned to see a
mountain of colourful packages staggering towards them.
Konatsu skipping alongside. "Just a little further!"
he said.
"Ugh... hai, Konatsu-chan..." strained a feeble voice.
Ranma stared, "Oh my god, he didn't..."
"Looks like he did, good for Konatsu," said Akane.
Kiyone and Nabiki stared at the pile and collapsed
on the ground in hysterics.
Mikado manfully staggered into the grounds. Konatsu
clapped his hands. "Yay Sanzenin-san!" he said. "And
the bus is... not here."
"What?" the mountain screamed. Boxes began to dislodge.
Everyone scattered as the mountain came to Mikado.
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" he screamed before being
crushed by a box of shoes.
"Oh no, here it comes!" Konatsu said brightly.
The group turned to see the bus carefully drive up and
haltingly come to a stop. Ukyou waved at them from the
drivers seat.
"Ukyou can drive?" said Ranma.
"Hallo!" Ukyou poked her head out the door. "Who wants
an early meal?"
***
Having, eaten, packed and reassembled themselves on the
bus, everyone watched nervously as Ukyou got into the
drivers seat. Ryoga hovering behind her.
"Alright," he said. "Don't worry if you bunny hop, just
get into gear."
"Hai!" Ukyou let out the clutch. The bus hopped once, and
then got going.
"Yay me!"
"YAY UKYOU-SAMA!"
"PUT YOUR HANDS BACK ON THE DAMN WHEEL!"
"Sorry, forgot."
Ryoga sweatdropped. "Okay, speed up, second gear, stay in
it for the turn, now move up."
The bus picked up speed as it moved down the street. Ryoga
glanced down the bus and raised his voice.
"Alright. Now this is how you get to FOURTH gear."
Mikado twitched. The rest of the bus stifled giggles.
"Speed up, clutch in, move the gear to _fourth_, clutch
out gently... speed up... see, now you're going somewhat
_faster_ than the average four year old."
"This is _easy_."
Mikado twitched again. Konatsu laughed. "Go Ukyou-sama!"
he called. Ukyou was so SMART.
"Alright, corner ahead, shift down two gears since it's
at an intersection," Ryoga instructed. "Slow down, down
to third, slow down again, down to second... okay. It's
gone to a red light. So brake, stop. Clutch in ready to
go, gear in first. Don't forget to indicate left."
"We're going _right_ Ryoga."
"Eh heh."
They waited for the light to go green.
"Green light. Let's go!"
*Judder judder judder... thud*
"No problem, start again." said Ryoga.
*Judder judder judder... thud*
"Just let it out slowly."
"I AM!" Ukyou took a deep breath, and started again.
*Judder judder judder... thud*
The light turned yellow. Ukyou swallowed. "It's okay, we
can wait for the next lights." Ryoga said quickly, not
wanting to her to cry on him again.
Just then, a car behind them screeched around them, and
drove at full speed through the intersection. The driver
stuck his head out the window as it passed. "LEARN TO
DRIVE!" he yelled in English. Ukyou didn't get the whole
content, but the meaning was clear. Tears welled up in her
eyes again. Ryoga's eyes narrowed.
"Mikado, get up here!" he yelled. Leaning over Ukyou he
hit the open doors lever. "I'll be right back," he said
with a cheerful smile. He sprinted out and bounced away
at high speed.
Mikado quietly took the drivers seat from Ukyou, started
the bus and took them through the intersection. Driving
down it they saw Ryoga flagging them down. They stopped
to let him in.
"What happened?" Ukyou sniffed out.
"A quick course in defensive driving." said Ryoga.
"What?"
"Oh my..." Mikado said in awe. He grabbed the PA
microphone.
"Ladies and gentlemen, if you will look out the left hand
side, you will see... this years winning candidate for
funniest home videos."
Mystified, everyone dashed to the left hand side. To see
the sight of the rude driver sitting on the ground,
surrounded by the pieces of his car, holding the steering
wheel, with an absolutely priceless look of confusion on
his face.
Ukyou started laughing, and set the whole bus off.
"Looks more like _offensive_ driving to me." said Ranma.
Ryoga waggled a finger at him. "I never laid a hand on
him."
"Sure, just one finger right."
Ryoga grinned and cracked his knuckles.
"R-Ryoga..." Ukyou stopped laughing and stared at him.
"Oh... Ryoga... WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!"
She buried her face in his chest and Ryoga felt his face
burn. *Argh.* He looked at the others, who were all
smiling at him. *Double argh*.
End of Part Five.
***
Authors Note:
Hi, Jaelle here. I'd just like to note that this sequence
at the end with the rude driver is actually a true incident
and happened to me about three years ago when I was driving
someone elses car after using my automatic one for the
previous two years. I in fact stalled through three
successive sets of green lights (they were very short -
only long enough for one attempt each time) getting more
and more upset each time.
Then this guy drove out and yelled that. I was humiliated
and mortified. The other two people in my car were trying
to calm me down and I got into gear on the next lights. I
was recently telling Orla this story for some reason (Orla
doesn't drive) and she deduced from the language that I
was using (usually designated by using the top layer of
punctuation on the number keys) that I was still upset
about the whole incident and suggested that I write it in
and include my revenge, which I have done here. The
revenge is a little inaccurate, at the time I did not want
to bakusai tenketsu the car, I wanted to sledgehammer the
driver into a sticky mess on the road! However, with the
passing of time most of my homicidal impulses have faded.
But I would just like to say, if the driver of that car is,
by some quirk of fate reading this right now, that I will
NEVER EVER FORGIVE YOU!!!!
Jaelle.
4th March, 1999.
Ranma 1/2: The Magical Mystery Hibiki Tour
by Jaelle and Orla
***
The characters in this story are the property of Rumiko
Takahashi-sama. We prostrate ourselves at her feet and beg her
forgiveness for our temerity in using these characters. We're
not worthy! We're not worthy!
The other characters are copyright to Yukie Nasu and Pioneer
LDC.
C & C is welcome (although we don't like flames!). You can
contact us at either: ladyorla@yahoo.com or jaelle@ihug.co.nz
For more of our fanfiction visit our site 'Insane Musings'at:
http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~jaelle/Jaelle_Orla.htm
***
This story occurs four years after Ranma 1/2 volume 38.
***
Part 6
***
Nerima: Tendo Dojo
Dr Tofo Ono stretched and wandered onto the balcony.
"Such a nice morning." he said to himself.
A gurgle of laughter caused him to look around. *I am
so lucky* he thought as he looked at his children playing
on the mat. *Thank goodness I managed to gather up the
courage to _ask_ Kasumi to marry me.*
Alright, so the actual proposal had taken him two hours to
choke out, but once he had spoken the words she had just
smiled in her sweet way and accepted him. As if by magic,
at that moment, all his shyness had disappeared and he was
able to talk to her without stuttering and making a general
fool of himself -which had made conversation _much_ easier.
Tofu chuckled and turned his attention back to the gardens.
"So peaceful." he murmered.
"NO!!!!!"
He jumped at the shout. *Kasumi*. He ran down to the genken
where he saw Kasumi confronting her father and Mr Saotome
who where both wearing backpacks.
Dr Tofu frowned. His normally peaceable wife had her hands
on her hips and a cross expression on her lovely face.
"Don't you dare, Otosan! I will _not_ let you interfere in
Akane and Ranma's life anymore!"
"K-kasumi... " stuttered Soun as astonished as Tofu at this
diplay of temper.
"I mean it." Kasumi's tone was stern. "It's bad enough that
Nabiki is with them without the two of you turning up to
throw things into chaos!"
"We just want to help!" protested Soun.
"I'm amazed that Akane and Ranma have come as far as they
have with all your 'help'." Kasumi shook her head and glanced
at Genma. "You know that Nodoka-san would agree with me if
she was here."
Genma flinched.
"You are both going to stay right here!" Kasumi commanded and
pointed to the stairs. "Now go and unpack and come down for
lunch."
Soun and Genma looked at each other and sighed. Kasumi
watched as they ascended the stairs, then she turned around
and saw Tofu. Her face relaxed into it's normal sweet
expression.
"Hello dear. Can I do anything for you?"
"Iie, kimi." Tofu answered, then he smiled. "Well handled."
Kasumi smiled back. "I have to prevent Otosan from doing
silly things, and with Auntie Nodoka away visiting I have to
be stern with them. Sometimes they are just like the twins."
Tofu took her hand. "You are very good, Kasumi." He kissed
her.
Kasumi blushed. "Oh my."
***
China, Zhejiang province:
Main road to Hangzhou.
"Lunch break!"
Kiyone got off the bus and stretched. "Ahhhh... these roads
are a little bumpy!"
Nabiki put on her sunglasses. "I think it's just Mikado's
driving." she said. She pulled out two cans of sake from
her purse. "Here."
Kiyone caught the can and looked at dubiously. "Isn't it a
little early?"
Nabiki opened the can and took a sip. "No. I need it so I
can cope with another meal consisting of okonomiyaki and
_only_ okonomiyaki."
Kiyone made a face. "Okonomiyaki again? I like it, but apart
from the odd stop at a local place, it's all we've been
eating!" She drank some of the sake. "Why don't we ask Ukyou
to cook something else?"
"Do you want to be struck by that titanic spatula of hers?
"She wouldn't."
"She might. Okonomiyaki is her life."
"Oh dear."
Ranma moved swiftly and gracefully through a short kata,
working out the kinks caused by the inactivity. Nearby Godai,
Suka and Miya watched.
"Wow." murmered Godai. "He's so good. Wish I could do that."
"It doesn't look hard." Miya said.
Suka smiled. "It's a _lot_ harder than it looks. Mitsuru
took me through some paces once and I nearly died." he paused
before adding. "Then again he hit me in some rather sensitive
places."
"I thought you were supposed to do kata's in synch not against
each other."
Ranma yelled over his shoulder. "How else are you supposed to
learn?"
Suka smiled. "Funny. Mitsuru said exactly the same thing."
Ranma turned his attention back to the kata. *I have to
admit Suka and Miya look like they could handle themselves
in a fight* he thought as he punched the air, *Kiyone too,
for that matter*, he turned and blocked, *Wouldn't put any
money on Godai though.*
Konatsu strolled around the picnic area, occasionally doing
the odd kick, it was so good to get off that bus! And away
from that annoying Mikado! Konatsu frowned, this trip was not
going right. So far he had not had any time alone with his
beloved Ukyou-sama, he had not been able to share the magic
of China with her, all his time had been spent trying to
avoid Mikado.
"Konatsu-chan!"
And failing. *Rats! Time to go for a run.* Konatsu broke
into a fast run and zoomed into the trees. *Ha! Under cover
like this I am undertectable!* Konatsu smiled smugly as he
utilised his ninja training to hide from the persistant
Mikado.
"Konatsu-chan! Matte... ow!... matte kudasai!"
Ukyou watched Konatsu zoom off into the trees with Mikado
in hot pursuit and shook her head. "You have to admire a
guy like that sometimes. He's been driving all day and he
still has enough energy to chase poor Konatsu." She turned
to Ryoga an amused smile on her face.
He wasn't listening. He was standing by the kitchen bench,
the knife he had been using to chop up ingredients was
slowly being crushed as he looked out the window at Akane
going through her kata. *So graceful, so strong. Oh
Akane... *
*SLAM!*
"Itaii!" Ryoga dropped the knife as Ukyou whalloped him with
her spatula.
"Stop daydreaming!" she shrieked at him.
"I was _not_ daydreaming!" he yelled as she peeled the
spatula off his head.
Ukyou picked up the mangled knife. "Honestly, you are so
hopeless." she said. "Don't you ever notice when you
destroy things?"
"Er... sorry about that." Ryoga lifted his hand to rub the
back of his head, then he paused.
"Kamisama!" cried Ukyou as she noticed the same thing he had.
"Your hand!"
Ryoga had, without noticing, inflicted some fairly large cuts
on his hand while mutilating the knife. The cuts were now
bleeding quite profusely.
Ukyou grabbed his other hand, it was also covered in blood.
"Hold your hands up." she ordered. "We need to get you
cleaned up." she looked auxiously at him. "Are you ok,
Ryoga? Do they hurt? Are you feeling dizzy?"
"No!" Ryoga protested. "I'm fine, please don't worry. I can
take care of it."
"Shush!" Ukyou quickly wrapped teatowels around his hands.
"You'll only make more of a mess and I refuse to let you
make a mess of my kitchen!" She put one hand to Ryoga's
cheek and stroked it. "Hey. I'm on your side, ok?"
Ryoga swallowed at her touch, "Ah... ummm... ah... " All the
things Akane had said about Ukyou in Shanghai came rushing
back at him.
"Now hold on and I'll clean you up." Ukyou turned away,
oblivious to Ryoga's agitation. She picked up another towel
and ran it under some cold water. "Come here."
Ryoga walked over, making sure that his hands were still up
and the towels around them. Ukyou turned back to him and
unwrapped the now bloody towels. "Yuck... " she threw them
into the waste disposal. "Now this might sting."
"Right." said Ryoga, then as she pulled his hands forward
he noticed what temprature the water was. "NOOOOO..... "
Ukyou let out a shriek as Ryoga suddenly appeared to shrink
into his clothes and disappear. "Ryoga!!" she cried.
"Kamisama! Where... ? What... ?" She looked around wildly,
then at the still running tap. "The water... ?" She looked
down at the pile of Ryoga's clothes.
Something wriggled inside Ryoga's top. Ukyou cried out again
and leapt back. Then she gulped and reached down and pulled
the material away from the... the whatever... and saw...
"P-chan?" Ukyou blinked and looked at the little black piglet
who was looking up at her with tear-filled eyes and whose
front hoofs were bleeding. "Ryoga? Ryoga, you're P-chan!"
Ryoga looked up into Ukyou's shocked face and wished the
floor would open up and swallow him. *She'll tell Akane,
she'll be so angry.* he thought in agony, *She'll _hate_
me!* He closed his eyes and waited for doom to fall on him.
He did not expect doom to sound like laughter. Ryoga opened
his eyes and saw Ukyou clutching the sink bench laughing so
hard that there were tears in her eyes.
Ryoga bweed indignantly, he did _not_ regard this a laughing
matter! It was _not_ funny in the slightest.
Ukyou snorted at his anger and managed to control herself,
slightly. She wiped the tears from her eyes. "Ha... now
it all... heh... makes sense. Oh dear... I think I hurt
myself... but you have to admit that... it's just too
funny... you... *giggle* in love with Akane... haha...
and... and she's sleeping with you as... as...
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"
Ryoga sweatdropped. He didn't get it. His curse was the most
humilating, most awful thing he could imagine. Surely a
normal girl would think it as terrible as he did!
Ukyou managed to swallow her laughter and picked up the kettle
which she had recently boiled. "Okay, time turn back. I like
that part, d'you know I was pouring hot and cold water on
Ranchan nearly all night when I found out?" She grinned.
"Heh... of course you do, you were there!"
Ryoga bared his teeth. If she thought he was going to let her
change him back forth for her amusement she had another think
coming!
"Don't worry." Ukyou assured him, tipping the kettle. "I
won't do that to you."
The hot water hit Ryoga in a boiling wave. "Owwww...
hothot!" he cried leaping up.
Ukyou drew back and dropped the kettle. Her face went red.
"Ummmm... Ryoga... you're... you're... naked!" she covered
her eyes.
Ryoga stared at her uncomprehendingly for a moment, then
he yelped and grabbing his tunic held it to him. "P-please
t-turn around." he stuttered, his face matching hers.
"Y-yes." Ukyou spun around, paused, then she remembered his
hands. "Ryoga! You're hurt... I can't let you... " she bit
her lip and turned around.
"I'm fine, I'm fine!" Ryoga had managed to put on his
trousers and was reaching for his tunic. Ukyou grabbed his
hands. "No!" she pulled him upright. "I need to treat
these." she smiled. "I'll use hot water."
Ryoga reluctantly let her bathe the cuts with a cloth
soaked in hot water. He felt he had to give her some sort
of explanation. "I... I'm sorry." he mumbled as she dried
his hands. "About... about P-chan and all."
"It's ok." Ukyou said quietly. She opened a cupboard and
pulled out a first aid kit. "Hold still." she ordered pulling
out some bandages and antiseptic cream. "I don't know why
you think it's such a big deal though. Ranchan seems to be
ok with _his_ change."
"That's because Ranma stays _human_!" Ryoga snapped.
"Uh-huh." Ukyou began to gently dab the cream onto the cuts.
"What about Mousse and Shampoo? They aren't all bitter...
well, not as bitter as _you_."
"Uh... " Ryoga was finding it hard to hold onto his anger and
finding even harder to think coherantly as Ukyou's hair
brushed against his skin as she bandaged his hands.
"Akane-san would... "
"Well, she probably wouldn't be happy with you for
masquerading as her _pet_." Ukyou finished one hand and
moved onto the next. "It probably wouldn't be a good idea
to tell her until you've won her love."
"Y-yeah."
Ukyou finished the last bandage and smiled up at him.
"Ok, now?"
"Y-yeah."
She moved a little closer. "Are you sure you're alright?
You look kinda pale." She grabbed his chin and pulled his
head down so that his eyes met hers. "I'm _not_ mad about
P-chan, really. I sort-of wish that you had told me earlier."
Ryoga looked into her large eyes and gulped. Thoughts he
never thought he would never have were tugging at his mind
*Ukyouis prettyshe'snicebutIlikeAkaneUkyou'sbeingsoniceshe
doesn'tcareaboutthepigAkane-sanIlovebutIOhIdon'tknowI'mso
confused!!!!*
"Ryoga?!" Ukyou cried out as he squeezed his eyes shut and
tensed up. "Sugar! Hey... snap out of it!" She grabbed his
shoulders and shook him.
Ryoga's eyes snapped open, he looked down at her and grabbed
her upper arms, ignoring his injured hands. "Ukyou... " he
began.
"Hey, Ucchan! Is lunch ready ye... whoa!" Ranma came to
abrupt halt at the kitchenette door. He stared at his best
friend being held by Ryoga, a grin spread across his face.
Ryoga saw Ranma, yelped, let go of Ukyou and jumped back.
Ukyou whirled and went red when she saw the expression on
Ranma's face.
"Ranchan! Uh... please don't think... we... Ryoga hurt
himself!"
Ranma nodded. "Riiiight." his expression clearly saying
'And did you have to take his top off to do that, Ucchan?'
Ukyou bit her lip for the second time that day and went to
the counter, Ryoga's blood had not fallen on the ingredients,
so she gathered them up. "Lunch will be ready in about ten
minutes, Ranchan." she said as brightly as she could. "One
special for you?"
Ranma nodded. "Yup."
"I'll get some... ah... cleaning stuff." mumbled Ryoga. He
headed for the door. "Out of the way, Ranma." he snarled.
"Sure, man." Ranma stepped back, then he grabbed Ryoga's arm.
"_What?_"
Ranma leaned closely and whispered. "Just a little bit of
advice. The kitchen isn't exactly the best spot for
romancing girls."
Ryoga shook him off. "You have the wrong idea!" he snarled
and stormed off.
Ranma watched him go. "Hey, stupid! You're going out of the
bus!"
"Leave him alone, Ranchan." said Ukyou, she had already
mopped up the mess and was now cooking the okonomiyaki at
her usual super fast speed.
Ranma shrugged. "Okay, Ucchan. You want me to gather the
others?"
"That would be good."
Ryoga strode away, his head bowed, his mind whirling. What
had he been thinking? In his thoughts he had nearly betrayed
his beloved Akane and if Ranma hadn't shown up, he might
have... he might have... No! Ryoga shook his head. No, he
didn't what to go there. Better to forget all about the
whole incident.
"Ryoga! Ryoga! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?"
"Huh?"
Ryoga stopped and looked around. Akane caught up with him,
and grabbed his arm. "Where are you going?" she demanded.
"You'll get lost!" *And then Mikado would have to drive and
my spine can't take much more of that*, she added mentally.
"I... I..." *She cares! Oh Akane-san, how could I ever doubt
my love for you. It must have been lightheadedness from the
blood loss*, thought Ryoga. "I was just going for a walk."
"_Bad_ idea." said Akane. "Come on, lunch is nearly ready.
If you so badly need to stretch your legs, why don't you
spar with me."
"Of course Akane!" *I'm so happy. Must remember to pull
all my blows and slow down a lot.* Ryoga lapsed into a
blissful haze as Akane led him back to the bus.
***
Kiyone examined the last piece of okonomiyaki on her plate.
*One more bite and I'm finished. One more bite and I'm
finished. Argh. I never thought I'd miss instant ramen!*
"Something wrong with that one?" Ukyou asked anxiously.
"Would you like a different one?"
"NO! I mean..." Kiyone sweatdropped, "This is fine. I'm
just not very hungry."
"I hope you're feeling alright. Everyone's starting to
look a little pale," said Ukyou, looking around the others.
Godai and Suka were both slowly and steadily ploughing
through their okonomiyaki whilst Miya seemed to be
experimenting with all the spices. Ranma was gobbling
down his fourth okonomiyaki like there was no tomorrow,
whilst Akane ate hers and watched nervously as Ryoga
chewed his way through the plate. Ukyou sighed. *Thank
goodness I packed a spare set. Moron.* She wasn't sure
if she was more annoyed that he could do this just
because Akane had spoken to him, or if she was more
insulted about what this said about her cooking. Still,
she was happy that Ranma hadn't said anything about
what had happened in the kitchen.
"Hey Ucchan, so what was wrong with Ryoga's..."
"Another okonomiyaki coming right at you!" Ukyou expertly
flung another okonomiyaki into his mouth.
Yet.
Nabiki put down her tea. "You keep doing that Ukyou.
Is there something you don't want him to say?"
Everyone looked interested. Ryoga came down from Planet
Akane and tensed.
"Seconds? You bet!" Ukyou threw an okonomiyaki onto
Nabiki's plate. Nabiki looked at it, steaming hot
okonomiyaki. And at its twin, which showed signs of
having slightly been nibbled.
"Anyone else?" Ukyou said, chirpily.
"Nope."
"I'm full."
"No thanks!"
"I need to stretch my legs."
The voices chorused.
Kiyone looked around for a change of topic. "Has anyone
seen Konatsu and Mikado?"
There was a silence.
"Uh oh..."
"Oh well, he's not so bad looking, and he's attentive
at least." said Miya, smiling and looking at Suka.
Konatsu could do worse."
"I take it from that comment that you lot," Nabiki looked
at Akane, Ranma, Ryoga and Ukyou, "haven't mentioned the
fact that Konatsu's a guy to Mikado yet."
Kiyone, Godai, Suka and Miya face-faulted onto the ground.
"Oh man, this brings back memories." said Suka. "He doesn't
have a cousin named Shun does he?"
"Must have slipped our minds." said Ranma. He and Ryoga
shared a glance. The images of their 'ice-skating' returned.
"We'll mention it to Mikado."
*When hell freezes over* they both thought.
The group finished eating and dispersed to look at the
countryside. "Meet back here in thirty minutes!" called
Ukyou after them. She stared longingly after Ranma and
Akane, then shook herself. "Right, enough slacking Ryoga.
Pick up all the plates and do the dishes."
"When was I slacking? And anyway, my hands are hurt."
"Fine. You can dry."
Ukyou stomped off, with the dishes balanced precariously
in front of her. In the tiny kitchen once more, the two
wiped the dirt and dishwater from the dishes respectively,
and the sweat from their brows as the temperature in the
small space rapidly increased, in spite of both the open
windows. They worked in silence, the only sound being the
tinny radio playing on the bench. Until...
"Oh wow! This is my favourite song!" Ryoga lunged for the
radio. "More volume!"
Ukyou stared at him as the sound filled the room. Ryoga
nodded his head in time with the beat, turned back to the
dishes, and then surprised her by starting to quietly
sing along with the music:
"Always so far away...
I'm hurrying along the way to become a fighter
No way will it stretch to my hand so easily
I remember the people through these same pupils
Speaking to myself, now, so I keep walking on
Talk to my dreams, and keep walking on...
Where, where now should I keep living?
I don't want to live like a runner forever
Filthy, filthy paths, I don't want to be alone...
Voices bring us together, wounds become strength
I accept tomorrow's challenge."
Ryoga's voice increased as the song went on. After
the chorus, Ukyou recognised the popular song and joined
in, the two of them belting out the tune.
"Tonight, the stars break my sleep...
While I count them, I breathe a sigh...
The faraway path is only a detour
How many tears must the underdog shed?
I can see the dream, but what does "today" mean?
You should understand, again, that it encourages me!
Where, where now should I keep living?
This straight path is so boring...
Dusty, dusty paths, I'll cut my own
Inside my thoughts, wounds become strength
I walk on, tomorrow..."
(The full Japanese text of this song and credits can be
found at the end of this part - J & O)
"Very good Ryoga-sugar!" said Ukyou with a smile, then she
gave a dry cough. "Ugh... except my throat now feels like
sandpaper!"
Ryoga, who had blushed at her complement, cleared his throat.
"Mine too, do we have anything cool to drink?" Ukyou looked
in the fridge. "Uh... no, no, no... oh! Oh! This looks good!"
Ryoga looked at it, "It's green."
Ukyou sighed in exasperation. "It's some sort of melon
drink I think." She pulled out the carton and looked inside.
"Did you buy these?"
"No, I thought Konatsu was buying all the supplies."
"He would buy something strange like this. I hope he knows
what it is!"
There were about 24 bottles of whatever it was. She examined
the bottle. "What does it say, Ryoga?"
Ryoga squinted at the label. "It's in Korean."
"How do you know?"
"It's the only language I don't know, and I can't read the
label. So it must be in Korean."
Ukyou's mind shyed away from the implications of that
statement, not to mention the logical problems. She settled
for sarcasm. "Oh really, so how's your Inuit?"
"{Not as good as I'd like.}" replied Ryoga.
"What?"
"I said {which way to Tokyo?}", he said, grinning.
"Huh?"
"{You're pretty cute you know.}" he said.
"You said different things," accused Ukyou.
*Oops*. "Say, let's try some of this delicious melon drink!"
said Ryoga, grabbing a bottle. He twisted the cap off and
poured the drink down his throat. Then he wiped his mouth
off. "Hmmm... refreshing. And very very tasty. Can I have
another one?"
Ukyou was sipping at her first. "I guess so, seems to be
okay. No ill effects. No turning into something else."
she slugged it down. "Yummy!"
Ryoga was shocked. "Girls aren't supposed to drink like
that!"
"I was a boy for six years dummy!" Ukyou stuck her tongue
out at him.
"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!" Ryoga choked.
"Your tongue is bright green!"
"Huh? Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh," Ukyou went cross-eyed trying to
look at her tongue. Ryoga laughed even harder.
"Oh yeah, well your tongue is green too." she said.
"Hehehehehehehehe..."
"Oh fine, be like that," Ukyou grabbed another bottle and
threw it at him. Ryoga fielded it easily and opened it,
chugging back the contents.
"Geez you're slow," Ukyou said critically. "At my old school
I was the champion speed drinker."
"Oh really? Well, you're still one behind me," said Ryoga
challengingly.
"We'll see about that... Kampai!" Ukyou flung her head
back and inhaled the drink. They both reached for another
bottle.
***
Half an hour later.
"Ah, that was a nice walk," said Godai. "I feel strangely
refreshed."
"Mmmmmm," said Suka. "I needed to walk off that okonomiyaki."
They, Miya and Kiyone were all headed back to the bus, when
Konatsu walked casually out of the bushes onto the path
ahead of them.
"Konatsu! You missed lunch!" said Kiyone accusingly.
"Sumimasen," Konatsu replied smugly.
"Where's Mikado?" asked Suka.
"Somewhere." Konatsu strolled off.
There was a crashing sound, the group stared as Mikado
staggered out of the bushes, leaves and twigs covering
him and his normally immaculate clothing covered in mud.
"You know, Ukyou's going to be real cross at you for
mucking up your uniform." said Nabiki, coming up behind
Kiyone.
"Ahhhh... ahah ahhhh..." Mikado gasped. "Ugh." he
collapsed at their feet.
"Pathetic," said Nabiki. "Truly pathetic." She got his
feet. Suka jumped to relieve her and Godai grabbed
Mikado under the arms and they proceeded back to the bus.
Upon arrival, they saw Akane, Ranma and Konatsu staring
at the bus.
"What?" asked Miya.
"What is that racket?" demanded Nabiki.
Ranma pointed. Ukyou and Ryoga, drunk as the proverbial
lords, were sitting on the steps of the bus, with their arms
around each other and singing some terrible karaoke song.
"Honey it hurts what you've done to me,
I'd even call it a tragedy
Now that you've told me the name of your neeeeeew
loooooooooove...
How I wish that you didn't say what you said
Wish it was some other girl instead
I don't know whhhhhhyyyyy you need a guuuuuuyyy..."
Kiyone winced. Not _this_ song _again_. Argh.
"Oh my." said Nabiki.
"What do you mean, 'Oh my'?" demanded Akane.
"They must have been drinking my midori." she said.
"Midori?"
"Melon liquor, mixed with some other things to give it
a bit more 'punch'," said Nabiki.
"And boy does it pack it," said Kiyone. "We had one bottle
each when we went shopping, and that was enough. I still
don't know when I got that silver lingerie."
Godai's nose started bleeding and Miya's elbow caught Suka
in the ribs. "Don't even _think_ about it."
Ranma blinked. "Well, it looks like Mikado's going to be
driving."
"Uh... I don't think so."
They all examined Mikado.
"Oh my god, what happened to him?" asked Akane. They all
looked at Konatsu.
Stars, hearts and flowers appeared around him as he smiled
cutely, his eyes getting all big, "Don't blame little
Konatsu!"
"Oh great," said Ranma. "NOW what? Who's going to drive!"
"Drive?" Ryoga broke off the singing. "We gotta get goin'!
I'll drive..."
"You can't even stand up pork-butt," said Ranma.
"Can too, chickie-babe," said Ryoga. "Shee?" He stood,
swaying.
"But not for long!" carolled Ukyou. She poked a finger into
his back and he toppled over onto his face. "Hehehehehehehe!
Ahhhh... I love you Ryo-chan."
Everyone facefaulted.
"Uh, Ukyou?" asked Ranma.
"I love you Ranchan."
"WHAT?" screamed Akane.
"I love you Akane-chan."
"WHAT?" screamed Ranma.
"Love you Kiyone-chan, love you Godai-chan, and you too
Konatsu. Suka and Miya, I love you so much! Nabiki, I'm
quite fond of you."
Nabiki raised an eyebrow.
"And Mikado, I love you too."
An electric bolt shot through Mikado and he sprang to his
feet. "YES!" he said, making a dash for Ukyou. Konatsu
tripped him as he went past and Akane malleted him into
the ground. "How DARE you try to take advantage of the
situation?" she demanded. Mikado did not answer, as he
was communining with nature.
Ryoga struggled back to his feet. "Everyone onna bus!"
he yelled. "We gotta timetable!"
"Ryoga, you cannot drive!" said Ranma.
"Maybe we should throw some cold water on him to sober
him up," said Miya.
"NO!" screamed Kiyone and Ranma.
"It was just a suggestion." Miya hmphed.
Ranma grabbed Ryoga's arm. "Ryoga, you are too drunk to
drive. Why don't we just camp here tonight?"
"Nonono... got bookings." Ryoga paused, then glared at
Ranma. "Who are ya callin' P-chan!"
"I didn't call you P-chan."
"Then who are ya callin' drunk! I can still take ya." Ryoga
moved into a sloppy fighting stance.
"Aw man, this is stupid!" said Ranma, "You're in no
condition to fight! Godai could take you in this state!"
"Hey!"
"Sorry man."
"Are you cowarding outta our man ta man FIGHT?!"
Ranma shook his head. "Ok, stand back everyone, I'll try to
put him down in one punch."
Ukyou giggled from her seat on the ground. "Go get'em,
sugar!"
"Okay." said both Ranma and Ryoga.
"Which one do you mean?" asked Akane.
"All four of them!"
Everyone sweatdropped except for the two combatants who
prepared to fight.
Ranma shot his fist forward in a straight punch and was
very surprised when Ryoga blocked with a casual wave of
his arm. Then Ryoga launched into a complex set of moves,
which seemed to involve a lot of staggering back and forth,
ending in a punch with the first two fingers partially
extended. Ranma fell back and rubbed his bruised jaw.
"Itai! When did he learn drunken boxing?!" He relaxed and
laughed.
Ryoga grinned. "Ev'rybody aboard! Time ta go!"
"You're not going to fight him?" asked Godai.
"It's pointless when he's in this state." said Ranma.
"If I wanted to put him out I'd have to really hurt him
as in putting him in traction! He's too drunk to feel any
pain, and that's on top of his normal toughness."
Akane sighed. "So we have to hope he passes out before he
starts driving?"
Nabiki, who had gone inside to investigate the damage to her
stock, came put at this statement. "He should do soon!
Looking at the amount he and Ukyou drunk I'm surprised that
they're not comatose by now."
"'Lalalalaalaalaaa... I'd even call it a tragedy... hic..."
"Alright, someone help Ukyou on board." said Ranma. "And have
a sick bag ready just in case."
"I'll do that!" Konatsu offered eagerly.
*Now that is _true_ devotion!* thought Akane.
They piled on board and watched as Ryoga lurched into the
drivers seat. Ranma sat next to him in Ukyou's normal seat.
"Well, he appears to be going through all the right motions."
he reported back. "I... ooof!"
He was elbowed aside by Ukyou who had broken away from
Konatsu. "Thish ish my seat, Ranananachan!" She giggled.
"Unlessh ya want me to sit on you lap!"
"Er... " Ranma could feel the heat of the green-eyed
monster's glare on the back of his neck. "That's okay,
Ucchan, you can have your seat." he edged away and sat
beside Akane.
Godai sighed and took out a small pad and paper. *Dearest
Kyoko* he began to write, *When you get this note I will
have died in a dreadful accident... *
Suka and Miya gripped each others hands. "I love you." he
whispered. She kissed his cheek. "Aishite."
"Oh give the guy a chance!" snapped Kiyone. "It might just
work out!" *I hope... oh well, at least I'd get away from
HER in death!*
"Okie-doki, Ryo-chan, 'member to keep ya handsh on the
wheelie!" Ukyou sang out.
Ryoga glared at her. "Ish _you_ alwaysh fogetsh that!"
Ukyou's eyes filled with tears. "You hate me, Ryo-chan?"
"No, Ucchan." Ryoga reached out a hand and touched her
cheek. "Kimi no kawaii."
Dead silence.
"Did he... ?" Akane looked at Ranma whose eyes were bulging.
"He did!"
Nabiki smirked. "You know the truth comes out when you
drink."
"In vino veritas." replied Ryoga with a fangy grin.
"My God, he really does know a lot of languages!" cried
Akane.
Ukyou smirked blearly at her. "Ryororyoro... shit!
_Ryo_-chan's sooooo clever!"
"Ukyou!"
"Letsh go!" Ryoga gunned the engine and the bus crawled
out of the picnic area and back onto the road.
Ranma looked out of the window. "Hey! HEY!"
"WHAT?!" screamed everyone in panic.
Ranma gave them all the thumbs up. "We're going the right
WAY!"
Major facefault.
"Shee? I tol ya!" Ryoga moved into fourth gear.
"This isn't bad." commented Godai slowly.
"It's better than Mikado's best driving." said Miya.
"It's better than _Ryoga's_ best driving!" said Kiyone.
She relaxed, *I think I'll take a nap.*
Nabiki consulted her pocket tourist map. "Hmmm... we do
seem to be heading for Hangzhou."
"WHOOOOHOOOO!!!!!" Ukyou leapt out of her seat and punched
the air. "We're sho cool!"
"Sit down, Ucchan!" cried Ranma. "You could hurt yourself!"
"I'm okay, really, 'm okay... " *Thud* Ukyou collapsed
unconscious onto her seat.
"Finally peash." muttered Ryoga.
Everyone shrugged and relaxed as Ryoga continued to drive
drunkenly and straight as a homing pigeon towards Hangzhou.
End part 6.
GLOSSARY:
Aishite = I love you
Anata = you, also means "dear" when used by a wife to
her husband.
Kawaii = cute
Kimi = you (used by a husband to his wife)
Matte Kudasai = Please wait
Sumimasen = Excuse me/Sorry(for what I did)
In vino veritas = In wine there is truth
First song(Japanese text):
We Are
Slayers NEXT( Slayers NEXT Sound Bible II)
Vocals: Midorikawa Haruka (Zelgadis)
---
Kakkotsukete itsumo ikigatta
saki o isogu faitaa
Sonna ore ni sotto te o nibashita
onaji hitomi shiteiru yatsura
yowai jibun o, ima, sarake dashite
yume o kadoatte saa, aruite ikou
* doko made mo, doko made mo tsudzuku jinsei o
tadano rannaa ja ikitakuwa nai
yogorete mo, yogorete mo hitorikiri janai
koe o kake atte kizu o tsuyosa ni kaete
ashita e idode yuku yo
The Second song is the Karaoke sung in the Pretty Sammi
OAV: "Your Hiroshi"
Ranma 1/2: The Magical Mystery Hibiki Tour
by Jaelle and Orla
***
The characters in this story are the property of Rumiko
Takahashi-sama. We prostrate ourselves at her feet and beg her
forgiveness for our temerity in using these characters. We're
not worthy! We're not worthy!
The other characters are copyright to Yukie Nasu and Pioneer
LDC.
C & C is welcome (although we don't like flames!). You can
contact us at either: ladyorla@yahoo.com or jaelle@ihug.co.nz
For more of our fanfiction visit our site 'Insane Musings'at:
http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~jaelle/Jaelle_Orla.htm
***
This story occurs four years after Ranma 1/2 volume 38.
***
Part 7
Shampoo stared aimlessly at the waves. She'd arrived in the
freighter on schedule and had expected to have seen Ranma's
group by now. But somehow, they still weren't here yet.
She moved away from the harbour and walked through the
town. No crashes. No bangs. No yells of "Hentai" or
"Kawaiikune". Noone flying through the air with the
greatest of ease. It was incredible how quiet it was with
none of the Nerima group about. She checked her watch.
Then her calender.
"They _very_ lost."
***
In their rooms in Hangzhou, Ryoga, Mikado and Ukyou slept
the sleep of the exhausted (or the dead drunk, in the cases
of Ryoga and Ukyou). Elsewhere in the motel, Kiyone played
poker with Nabiki and Miya for one yen coins. Currently
Nabiki was ahead by 200 yen. Godai and Suka were chowing
down on what was left of the evening meal (which was _not_
okonomiyaki, thank the kami) while Konatsu washed his hair.
Meanwhile, Akane and Ranma were taking a walk in the cool
evening air.
"I can't believe we made it here in one piece! And in
record time!" said Ranma. "Who'd've thought that if you
wanted Ryoga to come when you called all you had to do
was apply vast amounts of alcohol."
"Yes, but he's going to have a massive hangover when he
wakes up," pointed out Akane.
"Ah, he's tough, he'll survive."
"What about Ukyou?"
Ranma considered this. "I think I've got some aspirin
somewhere." He laughed. "Maybe it'll teach them not to
do it again."
"I don't know," said Akane teasingly. "Negative
reinforcement through pain's never been overly
successful in your case."
"What?"
"No matter how often I hit _you_ you keep making the
same mistakes," said Akane. Ranma grinned sheepishly,
then yawned. "Shall we turn in?" he asked.
"Okay," Akane said nervously. "It was nice of the
others to let us have this one room to ourselves."
"Eh heh." agreed Ranma. "I could have done without all
the winking and nudging though. Well, at least it has
separate beds."
Akane nodded, "That's best. But, once we're married."
Their eyes caught and held in the moonlight.
***
Ryoga dimly awoke. His mouth tasted like he'd been
eating mouldy old carpet. He looked around him and didn't
recognise anything. Nothing new there. Everything must
be alright then. He almost went back to sleep when a
loud snore shattered the silence. Opening one eye he
looked over at Ukyou's sleeping form. *Hard to believe
a noise like that came from a girl*, he thought. The
noise erupted again.
*Hmmmm... seems to be coming...* with great effort,
he twisted his head around. Lying directly next to him,
Mikado Sanzenin peacefully snored into his ear.
*Oh... it's Mikado...*
"NANI?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!" with a shriek Ryoga sat
up. He was lying in a double bed - with Mikado Sanzenin.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"
*WHANG* "Shut up stupid," Ukyou murmured in her sleep,
and turned over. Ryoga sat up, the spatula curved
around his head. He gently lifted it off and carefully
ripped it into little pieces. *Okay... we're in a motel.
We're on a trip. I got drunk... drunk... Drunk sounds
like a good idea right now. Where's the bar?*
Quietly, he made his way out of the room in search of
alcohol.
Unfortunately, he found some.
***
Akane murmured and turned over, sinking ever closer to
oblivion. In the next bed, Ranma was already snoring.
She smiled and prepared to surrender to sweet morpheus.
"WHAT SHALL WE DO WITH A DRUNKEN HENTAI?"
"What in the?"
Ryoga was feeling no pain. Everything was clear to him
now. In one hand, he clutched an empty bottle of scotch.
"WHAT SHALL WE DO WITH A DRUNKEN HENTAI?" he sang loudly.
"WHAT SHALL WE DO WITH A DRUNKEN HENTAI, EAR-LY IN THE
MORNING???!!!
PUT HIM IN THE ROOM WITH THE TENDO'S DAUGHTER
PUT HIM IN THE ROOM WITH THE TENDO'S DAUGHTER
PUT HIM IN THE ROOM WITH THE TENDO'S DAUGHTER EAR-LY IN
THE MORNING...
WAY HEY... UP SHE BOOTS HIM..." he carolled happily.
Akane was aghast. The _noise_!
"Ranma!" she yelled.
"Nrgh. What, are we under attack? Is it the Americans?"
Ranma struggled awake. "Oh god, not cats singing!"
"No, it's Ryoga, he's singing something... I think. It
sounds like English." said Akane. "Although I caught
the word 'hentai'."
"Oh man." Ranma shook his head. "I can't believe he's
still concious. He's tougher than I thought."
"What he is, is LOUD." said Akane, picking up her
glass of water from the bedside table. "He sounds like
a whole tribe of cats in heat. And I know how to deal
with noisy cats!"
Ryoga had finally found Akane's bedroom window. How
romantic! He would serenade her by moonlight.
"Haike... Akane...AGH!"
A shower of water landed on him and his form quickly
dwindled beneath it. "Bweeeeeee... *hic*"
"That seems to have gotten rid of him," said Akane,
closing the window. "Honestly. And here I thought he
was a responsible person."
Ranma rolled his eyes and wondered briefly if he
should go rescue the pig. But then he remembered how
nice and warm it was in this bed and went back to
sleep instead.
***
A very drunk piglet made a beeline for his motel
room.
"Bweeeee... *hic*" he said sorrowfully. Curse his damned
luck! He was doomed! Doomed to wander alone! *Hic*. He
nosed open the door.
Ukyou stirred. *Water... must have water...* She staggered
upright and headed for the bathroom. *Squish*
"Bweeee!!!!!!"
Ukyou looked down. *Huh. Piglet. Ryoga. Hot water. Water...
thirsty...* She grabbed the piglet by its bandanna and
carried it into the bathroom. Slinging it into the shower
she turned on the hot water. Then she headed to the hand
basin, drank water straight from the tap for a couple of
minutes, and headed back to bed. Ryoga threw his head back
and swallowed some of the water out of the shower, then
stumbled and headed back to bed, collapsing straight into
sleep.
***
The next morning.
"Ohhhh..." Ukyou moaned. "My _head_."
"Ssssssshhhhhh..." said Ryoga. "Not so loud, it sounds
like you're yelling right in my ear." He buried his head
under the pillow. Ukyou's head bounced off the bed and
hung off the edge. She clasped the blanket firmly
around her and moved back onto the bed. "What in the
world?" she opened her eyes and immediately regretted
it. The dim light felt like a sledgehammer to the back
of her brain. The only compensation was the knowledge
that Ryoga must feel worse, what with being naked
and wet and everything. Hang on a second... She reviewed
that last thought.
"Ryoga?"
"Shhhhhh!!!!"
"Ryoga," she whispered.
"_What??!!!_"
"Why are you naked and in my bed?"
Ryoga thought over that question. "I'm not." he replied.
Ukyou opened an eye cautiously. "Yes you are." she said.
"Can't be, D'never do something like that." Ryoga snuggled
into the covers. "Now let me die in peace." He tucked the
covers more closely around him.
"A_hem_," said Ukyou. "Those are MY blankets! Gimme!" She
gave them a firm tug. Ryoga refused to let go and wound
up pressed against her. *Great, now my shirt's going to
be all wrinkled* she thought.
"Man, I feel great after all that sleep!" Mikado announced,
sitting up and stretching.
"SSSSSHHHHHH!!!!" said Ryoga. "Shut up!" He continued to
wrestle with Ukyou for the blankets. Mikado considered the
forms of Ryoga and Ukyou. "Ummm... if you two want to be
left alone..." he said cautiously.
"Whatever, just be quiet!" snapped Ukyou.
"NOT SO LOUD!" Ryoga begged her. "And let go of the
blankets!"
"But they're _MIIIIIIINE_." she yelled straight into his
ear. "And this is MY bed! Get out of my bed!"
"I'm not IN your bed," said Ryoga. "I would never do
that. You're drunk."
"_I'M_ drunk???!!!" Ukyou sat up. "Ow my head!"
Mikado stared at them, there was one single thought going
through his head. *I can't believe she decided to go with
HIM instead of ME.*
Ukyou whapped Ryoga on the shoulder. "Listen you baka,
you ARE in my bed. And furthermore, you are naked."
Ryoga sat up. "Look, if I was naked in your bed. I would
be right next to you and not wearing any clothes." he
stared into her eyes.
"OH MY GOD I'M NOT WEARING ANY CLOTHES!!!!!" he screamed.
"WHAT AM I DOING IN YOUR BED???!!!"
"That's what I'd like to know!" Ukyou said peevishly. *Hang
on a second.*
"You PERVERT!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Mikado fled the room as World War III erupted.
***
Ryoga sat in the corner of the dining room and ate his
cereal quietly. Kiyone sat down opposite him.
"Konnichiwa, Ryoga-kun." she said. "How are you feeling?"
Ryoga didn't look up. "Fine." he mumbled.
Kiyone frowned. "Ummm... I don't mean to pry, but... you
have the best black eye I've seen on _anyone_ for a long
time. Did you and Ranma have a fight, we heard some sort
of rumpus earlier on."
Ryoga looked at her. "I had a disagreement with one of my
co-workers, it got a bit violent."
"Ahhh... " Kiyone nodded. "You and Ukyou had another fight."
Ryoga flushed. "Yeah."
"Ryoga, you two have to make peace, otherwise this tour
won't go anywhere." Kiyone smiled. "Believe me, I know
_all_ about working with people you find... uh... difficult."
Ryoga thought about Kiyone's words. "Hn." He finished his
breakfast, then got up. "Arigato, Kiyone."
"No problem." Kiyone smiled after him. *He's so sweet.*
Ryoga cautiously approached Ukyou who was staring out of
the window, a thoughtful look on her face. It may be noted
that if Ryoga hadn't been so worried about his apology he
would have noticed that look and left, Ukyou only looked
like that when she had a plan, a plan that inevitably used
Ryoga. However, none of this occurred to Ryoga as he stood
beside her and cleared his throat. Ukyou turned and smiled
at him.
"Hey, suger! I was just thinking about you."
"Ukyou, I want to apolo... what?"
"Yes." Ukyou beckoned him closer. "I have a really good
idea for today."
"Oh?" Ryoga was befuddled by her change in mood. "Ummm...
you're not mad about this morning?"
"Huh? Oh. No, not anymore." Ukyou grinned, there was a
mischevious glint in her eyes. "We have more important
things to worry about."
"L-like?"
"How we are going to break up Akane and Ranma today."
Ryoga glanced in Akane's direction, she was eating
breakfast with Konatsu and Godai. His heart thumped.
She looked so happy, so animated.
"Ok," Ukyou said. "you are going to ask Akane to go
with you to the Temple of Inspired Seclusion because
you've heard how wonderful it is, but you need someone
to take you."
"But I've already seen it, seven times!" protested Ryoga.
"Ryoga!" Ukyou glared at him. "You have _never_ seen it."
The threat of a prolonged spatula pounding gleaming in
Ukyou's eyes made Ryoga back down. "Okay." Then he caught
the flaw in the plan. " I have to _ask_ Akane?"
"Hai."
"B-but... Ukyou, y-you know... "
"Grrrrr... " Ukyou thumped his shoulder. "Be a man! You're
not sixteen _now_, there's now excuse for being so... so
_wimpish_!"
"I am _not_ a wimp!" snapped Ryoga. "You'll see, I'll ask
her!"
He stode over to Akane who had just stood up from the
table.
"Akane-san!"
Akane smiled up at him. "Oh, ohayoo, Ryoga-kun!" she said
brightly.
Ryoga swallowed as he nearly drowned in her big brown eyes.
His brain froze.
"Ryoga?" Akane frowned. "Are you okay?"
Ryoga tried to pull himself together. "N-no... I'm g-genki,
just totally genki... yeah."
"That's... good." Akane made to leave.
"Akane-san!" Ryoga blurted. "I have a favour to ask!"
Akane blinked. "Sure, Ryoga-kun."
Blushing furiously, twiddling his thumbs, Ryoga made his
request. "I was wondering... that is... if you wanted... "
"Yes?"
Ryoga took a deep breath. "If you would take me to the
Temple of Inspired Seclusion."
"Well, I... " Akane looked confused. "Why me?"
Ryoga gulped. "Well... I need... I need someone to guide
me. I've heard how great it is and... and I haven't been
there before."
"Hmmm... " Akane thought for a moment, then she smiled.
"Okay, yes, it sounds like fun."
Ryoga stared at her in happy shock. Bells and whistles
were going off in his head. An excursion with Akane! And
_only_ Akane!
"Ryoga? Are you sure you're okay?"
"Hai." Ryoga made motioning movements. "Ready, go lets."
"Right." said Akane dubiously.
***
Ranma yawned and stumbled into the dining room. Ryoga's
drunken song had been in his head when he woke up and he
was not in the best of moods.
"Stupid Ryoga." he muttered. "What did that pig think he
was doing? Idiot."
"Ranchan!"
Ranma jumped slightly as Ukyou popped up in front of him.
"Gyah! Ucchan, don't _do_ that to me!"
"Gomen gomen." Ukyou smiled cutely. "D'ya want to help me,
Ranchan?"
"Like what exactly?" Ranma asked as he helped himself to
breakfast.
Ukyou sighed sadly. "I need to get a new stereo."
"A _what_?"
"Stereo. You know, plays music and... "
"I know what it is. Why do you need one here?"
"Well, I thought it would be nice to have some music on
the bus, to help the journey along."
"Yes, I agree with you." Ranma inhaled his food. "Why didn't
you buy a bus with a built-in stereo?"
"This one was the cheapest." Ukyou beamed at him. "Besides,
this would give me a chance to spend some time with my _best_
friend."
Ranma shrugged. "Okay, at least its better than looking
at clothes. Let's go round up Akane and go."
"Oh, she already left." Ukyou tried to sound surprised that
Ranma didn't know, and casual at the same time.
"She did? Without telling me? Where'd she go?" Ranma asked.
"I don't know," Ukyou said. "She just left twenty minutes
ago."
"Hn," said Ranma. "Oh well, I guess I'll see her later."
He stood up, "Shall we go?"
"Okay!" Ukyou grabbed his arm and they left for town.
*Yes! YES! YES!!!!!*
***
That evening, Ukyou wandered despondently into the
dining room. Ryoga was already sitting there, head in his
hands, he was glowing a faint green. Ukyou tapped him on
the shoulder. "Didn't work huh?"
Ryoga looked up at her. "Nope, you?"
Ukyou sighed. "Well, we got a karaoke machine."
"Karaoke machine?" he repeated dumbly.
Ukyou sighed again and sat down. "We got sidetracked. What
happened was this..."
Flashback to earlier this morning: Ranma and Ukyou wander
into a couple of sound system stores. They move around all
the soundsystems, comparing prices, then start trying out
the features that they each have. Until...
"Hey look, this one has a karaoke function!"
The rest of the day is spent 'testing' karaoke machines,
culminating in the purchase of a small, black, expensive
unit, which they then lug back to the bus and install.
"Yeah. We had a good time." said Ukyou. "Like... friends."
"You were lucky," said Ryoga glumly.
Flashback: Walking up to the Temple of Inspired Seclusion.
Ryoga and Akane looking around. Akane pauses to admire a
statute when suddenly Ryoga spots a monk he knows waving
at him.
"<Welcome back!>"
*Ack!* "Hey look, doesn't that... lake look nice! Let's
go there!"
They tromp down and admire the lake. Ryoga is breathing
easier when...
"Let's go on the ferry!"
The rest of the afternoon is spent cowering in the middle
of the ferry, in terror, while Akane stands at the rails
and admires the view.
Ryoga and Ukyou sighed. "This is harder than we thought."
said Ukyou. "I think I'm going to have to think of a new
plan."
Ryoga groaned.
***
Ranma 1/2: The Magical Mystery Hibiki Tour
by Jaelle and Orla
***
The characters in this story are the property of Rumiko
Takahashi-sama. We prostrate ourselves at her feet and beg her
forgiveness for our temerity in using these characters. We're
not worthy! We're not worthy!
The other characters are copyright to Yukie Nasu and Pioneer
LDC.
C & C is welcome (although we don't like flames!). You can
contact us at either: ladyorla@yahoo.com or jaelle@ihug.co.nz
For more of our fanfiction visit our site 'Insane Musings'at:
http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~jaelle/Jaelle_Orla.htm
***
This story occurs four years after Ranma 1/2 volume 38.
***
Part 8
"Okay!" Ukyou leapt onto the bus. "Is everyone here?"
"Yes!" yelled the group back at her.
"Sugoi!" Ukyou turned, "Okay Ryoga, let's go... Ryoga?"
The drivers seat was empty.
"Oh no!" cried Akane.
Ranma laughed. "What a moron... He got lost!"
Ukyou twitched, *I'm really going to kill him this time*.
"Should we go look for him?" asked Suka. "He can't have
gotten far."
The Nerima crowd erupted into hysterical laughter.
"Oh you'd be _amazed_ at how far pig-boy can go," wheezed
Ranma.
"Who're you calling a pig?" Ryoga loomed over Ranma.
"Ryoga-kun," cried Kiyone. "Where did you come from?"
Ryoga straightened. "I was upstairs, sorting some stuff
out."
"That's a relief," said Akane.
"Yeah, we thought you'd gotten lost," said Mikado.
"Again," muttered Ranma.
Akane elbowed him in the ribs. Ryoga was about to say
something when Ukyou tapped him on the shoulder. "Can
we get going?"
"Uh... hai hai." Ryoga got into the drivers seat. Ukyou
took her place beside him.
"So where are we going?" he asked her.
Ukyou consulted her notes. "We're taking the coastal
route via Shaoxing, and then we go on to Hong Kong."
She smiled. "I thought the coastal route sounded more
attractive."
Ryoga nodded. "Probably." He started the engine and the
bus rolled out of the parking lot.
Ten minutes later it rolled back in.
"Sorry! Sorry!" Konatsu jumped off the bus. "I'm sure I
can find it."
Ukyou rolled her eyes. "I can't believe he forgot his
make-up case."
"I can't believe he _has_ a make-up case," muttered
Ryoga.
***
About an hour into the trip, Ukyou noticed heads beginning
to nod off. *We need something to make the trip more
interesting,* she thought. *Hmmmm...* She looked at the
stereo/karaoke machine at her feet. A truly evil smile
spread across her face.
[Translated version of the music that blasted into
everyone's dreams]:
"I'm sorry, I'm not gentle
I can say it in my dreams
My thoughts are about to short circuit
I want to be with you right now
The moonlight makes me want to cry
I can't even call, it's midnight
But I'm so innocent, what should I do
My heart's a kaleidoscope
We are lead by the light of the moon
We meet by chance again and again
The countless shining stars above us foretell love's
whereabouts
Born on the same Earth
A miracle romance
Just one more weekend together
God, please give us a happy end
In the present, past, and future
I'll always be in love with you
When we first met, that so very dear
Glance you gave, I'll never forget
From the millions of stars in the sky, I can find you
Changing coincidences into chances, I love this way
of life
A wondrous miracle approaches us
We meet by chance again and again
The countless shining stars above us foretell love's
whereabouts
Born on the same Earth
A miracle romance
I do believe in that, a miracle romance"
"Oh no, not _that_," said Ranma.
"Hey, I love this song!" said Akane.
[Western readers might recognise the tune with its
alternate translation. It starts like this: "Fighting
evil by moonlight..." now do you understand?]
Ryoga groaned and tugged his bandanna down over his
ears. Konatsu chirpily sang along with the chorus
and most of the others began to join in (not wholly
of their own will - that is a _terribly_ catchy tune).
"Yay! Go everyone!" yelled Ukyou, grabbing the
microphone, she began to sing along, exhorting the
others to join in and occasionally leaning in close
to someone to share the mike. This was a great deal
of fun, but an unfortunate decision, as it meant
that it was not until much later that she noticed...
"Where in the world are we???!!!"
"What?"
"YOU IDIOT!!!!!!" *SMASH*
***
While Ryoga nursed his sore head and everyone else
stretched their legs outside, Ukyou pored over a map.
"Great, we missed the turnoff to Shaoxing and now
we're going on the _overland_ route."
"Does that mean we're hopelessly lost?" asked Mikado,
reading the map over her shoulder.
"No, I can find the way. It just won't be as pretty."
"I like the view right here," Mikado grinned.
*Oh _please_*, thought Ryoga.
"Hentai!" *WHAM*
*Heh, saw that one coming a mile off.*
"Well, you didn't screw up _too_ badly Ryoga," Ukyou
grumbled. "I suppose I should be grateful that we're
not in Russia."
"It's not so bad there. As long as you remember that
the clear stuff in the cans is more likely to be
vodka than lemonade."
"Oooookay." Ukyou folded the map back up. "From now on,
you _listen_ to me."
"Uhhh... excuse me." Ryoga's eyebrows shot up. "But
_you_ were the one singing ALL the lyrics to the Sailor
Moon vocal collection. Volumes 1 AND 2!"
Ukyou blushed. "Ooops."
"Oops? That's all you have to say? You hit me with a
SPATULA!" Ryoga looked at her incredulously. Ukyou
couldn't help herself. She giggled. Ryoga goggled at
her and she laughed harder. Eventually he caught the
bug and started laughing too. The rest of the group
smiled to see them getting along so well.
***
Shampoo yawned. They _must_ get here sooner or later.
She wondered if she should maybe go back to one of the
towns on the itinery. At least it would be something
new. Sigh. Her eyes drooped and she went back to sleep,
patiently awaiting her beloved's arrival.
***
"Welcome to Zhangzhou!" Ukyou announced. "We will be
stopping here for the night, as soon as we can find
somewhere to _stay_."
"If we can just find some camping ground we can just
sleep on the bus," Ryoga pointed out. "That _is_ what
we designed it for. That _is_ what we spent THREE nights
working on."
Ukyou nodded. "Look, there's a bar up ahead. We'll ask
in there."
Ryoga nodded and pulled the bus over. Ukyou looked at
the bar. It did not look like a particularly respectable
establishment. In fact, it looked like the sort of place
that cockroaches went to when they were slumming. But
still, it was a bar, and therefore would hold knowledge.
Albeit drunken, incomprehensible knowledge, but still.
"Come on lost boy," she said. "Time for you to do your
universal translator bit."
"Where do you think we are?" Ryoga asked. "Deep Space 9?"
"No, but it wouldn't surprise me if we wound up there."
said Ukyou. "Move it."
Inside the bar, they found it was everything it looked to
be and more. Ukyou prodded Ryoga. "Ask the bartender if
he knows of a camping ground round here."
Ryoga looked at the bartender. He took in the missing
fingers and eye, the tattoos, and the tattered singlet.
"<Hey. Gimmee a beer and some info!>" he snarled. "<Or
I'll break you in half!>" He snapped a barstool for
emphasis. Ukyou was aghast. "Ryoga! I don't want to
pay for that!"
"Shhh..." said Ryoga. "Just sit down and keep quiet.
Trust me." He heartily wished that he'd left Ukyou in
the bus. Or that he'd at least got her to bring her
spatula. He decided to up the meanness factor by
about 20 per cent to compensate. The bartender took in
his muscular form, slitted eyes and fangs and slid him
a glass of beer. Ryoga downed it all in one gulp,
almost gagging. It might have been beer. Then again, it
might not. Best not to think about it. He tried to think
of worse things he had eaten... roots, berries... Akane's
cooking... pigslop...
"<Whaddaya wanna know?>"
Ukyou watched as Ryoga leaned over and argued with the
bartender. She wrinkled her nose as a gust of dry, dusty
air swept the accumulated stench of the room her way.
Bleurgh! She tried not to touch anything. Next to her,
a fat man turned and looked her over, then slung his
arm over her.
Ryoga turned away from the bartender in time to catch
this, and the man's question. "<Hey *&))(&#%, wanna
come home with me and (*&#% #*$&(# @$(&Y#)???>"
Ukyou looked at him, trying to get out from under his
arm. "What?"
"<Hey! It's a [derogatory racial comment, derogatory
sexual comment]! [Expletive], I hear they [disgusting
anatomical description] really [expletive] well!>"
Ryoga's fist clenched. Ukyou was struggling, trying
to get free. "What did you say?" she asked. The man
leaned in closer. "On second thoughts, I don't want to
know! AAAAHHH!!! Get AWAY from me!" she began to panic.
The man leaned in even closer for a kiss. His face
encountered Ryoga's fist.
Ryoga gripped Ukyou's shoulder and dragged her out from
underneath the man's putrid prescence, pushing her
behind him. "<What did you call my woman?!>" he yelled,
grateful for once that Ukyou couldn't understand a word
he was saying. "<I'll make you EAT those words you
[expletive expletive anatomical description expletive!]>"
The man got up, he was very big. "<You wanna piece of
me?>"
"<Bring it on fat man>", Ryoga yelled. Ukyou tugged at his
shoulder. "Ryoga, if we've got the information we need,
let's just leave!"
"Can't," Ryoga whispered to her. "This guy's not going to
leave us alone now. Just let me handle it. Now SHUT UP!"
"But I don't want you to get hurt," Ukyou protested.
"Against this guy? I don't think so." Ryoga snarled.
"<Let's go!>"
The bartender slammed a fist down on the bar. "<No
fighting in the bar! If you got the energy, you can
do this fight properly, or answer to me!>" In
response Ryoga rolled up his right arm sleeve. The
other man followed suit.
"What's going on," whispered Ukyou.
"<Agreed!>" said Ryoga. "<We'll arm wrestle for the woman!>"
"We're going to settle this debate with a nonviolent
arm wrestling match." he told Ukyou.
"Oh... good..."
***
Ukyou walked on to the bus.
"Geez you guys took a long time," said Miya. "We thought
you were getting drunk again."
"We were about to come in and see what was going on," said
Akane. Ryoga walked in behind Ukyou and silently sent a
prayer of thankfulness up to the gods.
"Oh, Ryoga got into an argument with some drunk guy."
said Ukyou. Ryoga's eyebrows met his hairline. *ME??!!!!*
"Was it okay?" asked Ranma.
"Yeah," said Ukyou. "It turned out the guy was both drunk
AND stupid."
"Huh?"
"He challenged Ryoga to an arm wrestling match."
Ranma snickered. "Bet he's regretting it now." Ryoga
grinned maliciously, remembering the satisfying crunch
of broken fingers. "You could say that," he agreed. He
flexed his fist. "Ouch!"
"Don't tell me you got hurt arm wrestling?" Ranma asked
in disbelief.
"No, I got a splinter in my hand when I smashed his fist
through the table," Ryoga replied. "Does anyone have a
pair of tweezers."
"I do!" said Konatsu. Ryoga looked at the proffered items.
"Those are eyelash curlers."
"Oops, wrong things. Here you go." A pair of pink tweezers
were handed to him.
"Thanks..." *I think*.
"Anyway, we got directions. Mikado, take the drivers seat!"
Ukyou made a few orders and they were once more underway.
Ryoga sat down next to Ranma, who looked at him narrowly.
"Why do I have a feeling you're not telling us something?"
"Who?" asked Ryoga wearily. "Me?"
***
After arriving at the camping grounds, the group ate dinner
(okonomiyaki - shock, horror) and then sat around for a bit,
before Konatsu brightly asked if they could listen to music
again. This turned into a karaoke party somehow, and
everyone flipped through books trying to find the perfect
song.
"Hey Ryoga, sing this song." Ukyou hissed. Ryoga looked
at the song. "Eeewww... it's a sappy love song. And
furthermore, it's _another_ Sailor Moon one!"
"You have something against Sailor Moon?"
Ryoga choked back the bile. "In a word, yes!"
"Oh come on, Akane will love it. If you sing it, and
look at her soulfully in that pathetic, puppy dog way that
you do she'll melt!" *After all, _I_ think he looks
pretty cute when he does that, _I'd_ melt.*
"Oh thank you!" said Ryoga, snarling a bit more than he
intended. Could this day get much worse?
Apparently yes, as Ukyou eventually prevailed. Blushing
furiously, he stood up to sing, staring at Akane as he
did so. Unfortunately, he was so embarrassed at singing
this song (which was also rather notably out of his
vocal range) that he couldn't look at her for long and
instead looked appealingly for help to Ukyou. Thus
giving everybody the wrong idea.
[Translated lyrics follow]
"Ever since I first met you
I've been shining in my heart
My love causes so much sorrow
I broke off my glance so quietly
Your insignificant gestures
And your ordinary words
Every time I think of them
I feel like I'm going to cry
Love brings a lonely lonely heart
I'm just all alone now
Lonely lonely heart
All the joy and pain I feel, I'm always
Dreaming it by myself
Love brings a lonely lonely heart"
"Awwww... that's so cute!" said Ranma.
"Just shut up!" snapped Ryoga. Who then sat and sulked
in the corner.
"My turn!" yelled Ukyou. Snatching the microphone, she
turned to Ranma and sang.
[Translated lyrics, duh]
"Hey, when you fall in love,
Does everyone become this lonely?
Hey, are you embracing this pain
That is deeper than the darkness?
Everything is there for these two people,
So they can shine.
Surely...
It is you, it is you that I love,
My heart is gazing at you.
It is you, it is you I believe in,
Even in the cold night."
"That's a nice song," said Akane. "Hey, sing 'Tuxedo
Mirage' with me Ukyou!"
A sweat drop trickled down Ukyou's hair. *They didn't
even _pay attention_ to the words!*
"O...okay Akane-chan," she said, laughing.
***
Finally, it was Ranma's turn. With a grin he began
to sing 'Swinging on a Star'. Although not everyone
understood all the English words, they enjoyed the
tune and all was well and good. Until he got to the
second verse.
"So would you like to swing on a star,
Carry moonbeams home in a jar,
And be better off than you are,
... Or would you rather be a pig?"
Ryoga started and glared at Ranma.
Ranma grinned viciously and leant into the microphone.
"A pig is an animal with dirt on his face,
His shoes are a terrible disgrace,
He's got no manners when he eats his food,
He's fat and lazy and extremely rude!"
The spoon in Ryoga's hand bent into interesting shapes. *Why
that arrogant... HE'S got a nerve... who's he calling FAT!!!
Why I oughtta...* he thought, ki pouring off him in waves.
Ranma smiled and continued singing the song,
"But if you don't care a feather or a fig,
You may grow up to be a pig!
Or would you like to swing on a star..."
"Uh, Ryoga..." Ukyou allowed herself a small amount of panic.
The expression on Ryoga's face was nothing short of murderous.
"Calm down! He's just trying to upset you!"
"It's... working..." grated Ryoga. Fires ignited in his eyes.
"Kisama..."
"Not inside!" she hissed.
"Argh!"
"Control... control..."
"Ukyou." Ryoga stood up and dropped the crumpled remains of
the spoon onto the table. "I know that you're trying to help
me. And I appreciate it. I really do. I am now going outside
for a moment. I don't suggest you follow me."
He attached a piece of number eight fencing wire to his
finger and walked out the front door, leaving the wire to
unravel behind him. Ukyou watched him go and turned back to
the karaoke.
***
Next morning:
"That's funny." said Mikado. "There's no lake on the map
here. Must be new."
Ukyou and Ranma looked out the bus window at the rubble
they were passing and the new lake. It was fairly large.
They both sweatdropped and looked at Ryoga, who was
sleeping on one of the seats.
"Uh, Ranchan..." said Ukyou.
"... maybe I should be nice to Ryoga today." said Ranma.
"Good call."
***
At lunchtime, as Ranma and Ryoga wolfed down the
okonomiyaki (everyone else having pleaded not being
hungry) Ukyou watched her partner in crime. She kept
going over the events of the previous day in her mind.
*There must have been more going on at that bar. It's
not like Ryoga to initiate a fight... unless it's with
Ranma... I wonder what that guy was saying... I know it
was pretty insulting, but it can't have been _that_
bad. On the other hand, Ryoga _did_ break all his
fingers during the armwrestling, and it's not like
him to act that violently (unless it's with Ranma).
He must have overreacted... Hee... that's kind of
cute! Him trying to protect me and all.* She
smiled at Ryoga.
*What is she grinning at me for? Sense of impending
doom. Maybe she's happy, after all, she does have
Ranma here almost literally eating out of her hand
(man he's got NO manners!). I wish she wouldn't
smile like that... it makes me nervous. She's never
this nice to me. Wait a minute, she is smiling
nicely... at _me_. What did I do? How can I repeat
it? Dammit, she's so _cute_ like that!*
Oblivious to the thoughts and tension around him,
Ranma continued to eat, finishing the last bite he said,
"That was delicious, wasn't it Ryoga. Can I have another
one Ucchan?"
"What?" said Ukyou.
"What?" said Ryoga.
Ranma looked at both of them. "What?" he asked.
***
Song Credits:
Moonlight Legend (Moonlight Densetsu) - Sailor Moon
We Want To Be Ourselves (Watashi-tachi ni Naritakute) -
Sailor Moon
I Don't Need A Promise (Yakusoku wa Iranai) - Vision of
Escaflowne
Singing on A Star - Johnny Burke and Jimmy van Heusen
From jaelle@ihug.co.nz Sun Jun 13 14:33:39 1999
From: Jessica <jaelle@ihug.co.nz>
Subject: [Ranma][FanFic] Magical Mystery Hibiki Tour #9
Newsgroups: rec.arts.anime.creative
Followup-To: rec.arts.anime.fandom
Organization: The Internet Group Ltd
Ranma 1/2: The Magical Mystery Hibiki Tour
by Jaelle and Orla
***
The characters in this story are the property of Rumiko
Takahashi-sama. We prostrate ourselves at her feet and beg her
forgiveness for our temerity in using these characters. We're
not worthy! We're not worthy!
The other characters are copyright to Yukie Nasu and Pioneer
LDC.
C & C is welcome (although we don't like flames!). You can
contact us at either: ladyorla@yahoo.com or jaelle@ihug.co.nz
For more of our fanfiction visit our site 'Insane Musings'at:
http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~jaelle/Jaelle_Orla.htm
***
This story occurs four years after Ranma 1/2 volume 38.
***
Part 9
***
Nerima: Tendo Dojo
Soun Tendo eyed the Go board and rubbed his moustache.
"Hmmm... lets see."
Genma, in his panda form, smiled as smugly as a panda
could and waited for Soun to make a fatal move.
In the dining room, Kasumi looked up from her sewing and
smiled sweetly at the familiar sight. It was nice to see
her father and Mr Saotome playing again. Kasumi nodded in
satisfaction and turned back to her sewing. A grunt and
shuffling steps made her look back up to see Happosai
entering, carrying a box twice his size. With another
grunt the perverted Master set the box down.
"Oh my." said Kasumi. "What have you there, Grandfather
Happosai?"
"Just a few bits and pieces that need sorting out,
Kasumi-chan." Happosai began to spread assorted junk over
the floor.
Kasumi cut a thread. "Not going to work today, then?" she
asked absently.
Happosai looked mournful. "Without Ranma or Sweet Akane
here my work holds no joy for me."
Kasumi threaded another needle. "Oh dear."
Happosai looked up at the eldest Tendo daughter. "You
wouldn't know _where_ they are, Kasumi-chan?"
Kasumi smiled very sweetly. "Oh my, no. It's a mystery
tour, I have no idea where they are."
***
Downtown Nerima
Hiroshi and Daisuke strolled down the street looking for
a good place to eat.
"How about the Nekohanten?" Hiroshi suggested.
Daisuke was reluctant. "It's not the same without Shampoo
waitressing. I don't want to be served by the old ghoul."
"You have a point." agreed Hiroshi.
They passed Ucchan's Okonomiyaki, it was dark and closed
up. Hiroshi looked at it wistfully.
"When do you think the Tour will be finished?" he asked.
Daisuke shrugged. "Well, considering that lost guy, Hibiki,
is driving I'd say they're in Siberia by now."
"You're probably right." said Hiroshi. "I wish they'd get
back soon though. Who would've thought I'd actually miss
property getting destroyed by crazy martial artists?"
***
A Mental Hospital near Tokyo.
Saisuke looked auxiously at his master as Tatewaki Kuno
was shown out of the clinc.
"Any change, Master Kuno?" he asked.
"None whatsoever." said Kuno. "She remains as unstable as
before."
They walked down the drive to the waiting limo. The faithful
ninja entered the limo and sat beside Kuno. He had not
expected any change in Kodachi Kuno's condition, and
secretly he was relieved. Life had been so much better
since Kodachi was placed into care. She had started to get
worse after Ranma and Akane's failed wedding four years ago
and had gone completely overboard after the revelation that
the pig-tailed girl and Ranma Saotome were the same person.
Kuno had been lucky not to share the same fate, but by then
he was going out with Nabiki Tendo and she had explained
the whole thing to him in a gentle way using diagrams and
small words. Satsuke hid a smile, the Kuno family fortunes
had increased dramatically since his master had married
Nabiki and things were a lot brighter. Even Kuno himself
had matured considerably, although he continued to mangle
poetry and he was certainly not the brightest man around.
However Nabiki was convinced that Kuno would be the best
man to take the job of principal of Furinkan High, as soon
as she could pry the Hawaiian loving nutcase out. With a
crowbar, if necessary.
Satsuke sighed, he hoped Mistress Nabiki would return soon
and continue to look after things in her capable manner.
***
Masaki Shrine:
Princess Sasami of the Royal House of Jurai came down the
stairs, a tray of partially eaten food in her hands.
"She's still not eating well." she told the young man
seated on the couch.
Tenchi Masaki sighed. "I've never seen Mihoshi so upset.
She can't stay in her room until Kiyone returns though."
Ryoko, perched on one of the beams up above, snorted.
"I don't blame Kiyone for running off. I would if Mihoshi
was my partner."
Tenchi turned to the small pink-haired figure perched on
the edge of the couch. She smirked at him.
"Before you ask Tenchi, I have extrapolated Kiyone's
position and I have a fix on her."
"WHAT!!??" Mihoshi suddenly burst out of her room and
hurtled down the stairs. "Oh tell me Washu! Please please!!
I have to be with Kiyoneeeee!!!"
Washu frowned, then reached behind her and pulled out a
glass filled with red liquid. "Of course I'll tell you,
Mihoshi." she said with a sly smile. "Just drink this first."
"Okay!" Mihoshi swallowed the liquid and then she keeled
over in a deep sleep.
"Washu!" cried Tenchi running over to Mihoshi. "What did you
do that for?"
Washu shrugged. "Don't worry, she'll just sleep for a week
or so, I just think Kiyone deserves a break." Washu got up
and headed for her lab. "Besides I owe her one."
***
Tokyo: Nippori
Shun Kisaragi bounced up the steps of Suka's apartment
and rapped on the door.
"Come in."
Shun entered and stared at the sight of Mitsuru lounging
on the couch, surrounded by junk.
"Ohayo, sempai."
"Ohayo, Shun." Mitsuru threw some of the junk of the
couch and sat up. "Have a seat."
"Arigato." Shun sat down and now saw Shinobu sitting
on the windowseat. "It looks like you're having fun."
he said. "Ummm... won't Suka be mad at you for using
all his stuff?"
Shinobu merely smiled, Mitsuru laughed. "We told Suka
we'd look after the place, and we are! It looks lived
in, right?"
"Oh, definately."
Shinobu raised an eyebrow at Shun's tone, but then he went
back to his contemplation of the street.
"What's on your mind?" Mitsuru asked.
"Old classmates." Shinobu smiled lazily. "Do you recall a
former resident of Greenwood who had a fondness for
okonomiyaki and kitchen utensils?"
Shun clapped his hands. "Oh you're talking about Kuonji!"
***
Maison Ikkoku
"Is that a postcard from Godai?" Mrs Ichinose asked.
Kyoko frowned, was she never to get any privacy? "Yes it
is." she answered. "He's having a great time."
"Has he met any pretty girls?"
Kyoko glared at her tenant and pocketed the postcard.
"I have to the washing to do." she said stiffly and
walked away.
***
Hong Kong
In Hong Kong's most prestigious movie theatre a bunch of
socialites gathered around Hong Kong's newest Kung-fu
movie star. The praise was lavish as the socialites assured
the young man that he was well on the way to becoming Hong
Kong's newest and brightest star.
The young man smiled slightly and made his apologies,
shunning the cameras. He wandered into a darkened, deserted
room and looked out of the window at the city lights. The
praise was good, but it seem hollow. Movie making had just
happened, it wasn't his dream. He patted a pocket in which
a small, battered phot rested and sighed. Of course, some
dreams were impossible to obtain.
***
China: Shaoxing
"<You're sure?>" Shampoo leaned on the shop counter.
"<You didn't see these people?>"
The store owner nodded. "<I saw no one ressembling the
people you described.>" she said.
"<Maybe they just didn't come in here.>" said Shampoo.
"<Not come in here?>" the woman shook her head. "<This
is the only general store near the camping grounds. If
your friends are travellers like you said, they would've
come here.>"
Shampoo frowned. "Xiexie." She left the store.
Outside Shampoo stood with crossed arms, her mind in
complete confusion. This had started off very straight
forward: Meet up with the bus, kill Spatula Girl and
Akane Tendo, pulverise Hibiki and anyone else who got
in her way, and then claim Ranma as her rightful husband.
But none of this could be achieved when Shampoo couldn't
even _find_ the stupid bus. She had left Fuzhou to come
to another town on Ukyou's itinerary in hopes of finding
the wayward travellers, but no luck.
Shampoo fished out the itinerary and glared at it. A nasty,
paranoid suspicion occurred to her. What if Ukyou had
anticipated Shampoo? What if she had _planted_ this paper
expecting Shampoo to find it and all the details were
wrong? What if the Tour was somewhere in Outer Mongolia?
"AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!"
***
China: Guangdong province
"Okay, people!" Ukyou called for attention. "In a few hours
we will be entering Hong Kong. Hibiki Tours would like to
thank you for bearing with us during the unexpected route
change and for some of the problems with accommodation
conditions."
Godai shuddered at her words. He knew the memory of the
bathrooms at Xiamen camping grounds would be haunting him
for a while.
"But isn't that the point anyway?" said Miya brightly.
"After all, we signed on for this as a _mystery_ tour,
so changes in route aren't that big a deal."
Kiyone nodded. "Right." She smiled at Ukyou. "So far, I've
been having a great time." *Apart from the constant meals
of okonomiyaki.* she added silently.
Ukyou looked relieved. "Thank you everyone." she sat down.
"See?" said Ryoga. "I _told_ you they'd be okay with it."
"Yeah, yeah." Ukyou made a dismissive gesture. "But it's
_professional_ to make sure that your customers are happy."
"Hn." Ryoga thought for a moment. "I wonder if Hong Kong
has changed much. I haven't been there since the changeover,
biggest party I've ever seen." *And the wildest,* he
thought, *I still don't know where that last five hours
went or where the policemans hat came from*.
"Well, when I called and checked apparently not much has
changed." Ukyou pulled out a slim notebook and consulted
it. "The currency hasn't changed, but some of the parks
and things like that have had their British names changed
to more appropriate Chinese ones."
"Not surprising." Ryoga observed.
"Hong Kong has some good shopping doesn't it?"
"I don't know." Ryoga confessed. "I wasn't looking to
make purchases on my previous visits." he grinned. Do
you need some stuff, Ucchan?"
"Hmmm? No, not really." Ukyou sighed. "Although I'm sure
Nabiki will want to be let loose."
"Speaking of money," Ryoga lowered his voice. "How's our
money situation?"
Ukyou rubbed the bridge of her nose. "Not great." she
murmered. "We've had to pay out for some things that we
didn't anticipate."
"Like the karaoke machine."
"Oh, shut up." Ukyou blushed.
"Seriously, though, we can use the money I got at the
Takanawa Hotel if we need to."
Ukyou bit her lip. "Arigato, but it shouldn't come to
that."
"I wonder what they're talking about." said Ranma.
Akane rolled her eyes. "You should have landed in the
Spring of Drowned Fly, then you could be 'a fly on the wall'
and satisfy your rampant curiousity." she snorted.
"Sometimes you act more like a girl than a guy."
Ranma glared at her. "Hey! I was just making some idle
comment and you twist it all around! You are soooo... "
"Uncute?!" Akane flashed at him. "Think of a more original
insult for once!"
Konatsu eyed the engaged pair, he rose, avoiding Mikado and
approached Ukyou.
"Ukyou-sama!" he whispered urgently.
"What?" Ukyou turned.
"Akane-san and Ranma-san are fighting."
"Oh great." Ukyou sighed. "Ryoga, stop the bus."
"Is he hurting her?" Ryoga began to glow.
"No! But stop the bus, it's time for lunch!"
Ryoga pulled off the road onto a grassy field. Ukyou stood
up and turned on the microphone. "*Achem* We are now
taking a one hour stop for lunch."
Ranma and Akane barely acknowledged this, they were
glaring at each other in a way that promised imminent
destruction to those around them. Those who _were_ around
them quickly exited the bus. Ukyou glanced nervously at
Ryoga who was regarding Ranma in a very unpleasant way.
*Maybe I ought to try and difuse this potential explosion.*
she thought *I'm not about to see this bus and therefore
my _restaurant_ go up in smoke,*
"Sometimes you are _so_ small-minded!" Ranma was saying as
Ukyou approached. "You overreact to _everything_!"
"ME?!!" Akane gasped. "You baka!"
"Ha! And you say _my_ insults aren't original!"
"Ummm... Akane-chan? Ranchan? I don't think this is the
time or place... " Ukyou leaned towards them.
Ranma looked up at her. "Ucchan! Ya gotta back me up here,
Akane's getting all worked up over nothin!"
Akane was furious. "You... you... "
"Akane-chan," Ukyou smiled a winning smile. "Perhaps he's
right, perhaps you... "
Akane's anger switched to Ukyou. "You!" she cried. "Oh, of
_course_ you're going to support your darling Ranchan! You
always do, even when he's wrong!"
Ukyou blinked. "Akane, I... "
Akane's eyes narrowed. "You know, sometimes I get the
feeling that you haven't really stopped chasing Ranma."
Ukyou mentally sweatdropped, behind her Ryoga stiffened and
Ranma gaped at Akane.
"Akane!"
Ukyou took a deep breath. "That is a loud of crap." she said
flatly. "I think your imagination is running overtime."
"So both you AND Ranma think I'm delusional now!"
"I think that you're just looking for an argument!" snapped
Ukyou, her own temper rising. "And Ranma is such a _nice_
target for you! But don't pick a fight with me Akane,
'cause I won't hold back." she smirked. "And I'm better at
martial arts than _you_!"
Ranma winced. Ukyou had been on the right track to defuse
Akane's temper, until that last line. He eased out of the
seat and went to stand out of the line of fire. Meanwhile,
Ryoga stood rooted to the floor, trying to figure out what
to do.
Akane lept to her feet. "Don't you DARE question my ability!"
she yelled. "You okonomiyaki tramp!"
"Oh sh*t" Ranma groaned. Ryoga winced.
Flames appeared in Ukyou's eyes. "_What_ did you call me?!"
Akane realised she'd gone too far, but the momentum was
pulling her forward. Before she could stop herself Akane
could here herself saying: "Yeah, well, everybody's sooo
sick of your okonomiyaki, did you know that? We've all got
food stashes so we don't have to eat your slop!"
Akane and Ukyou glared at each other, the lightning
flashing between their eyes.
"Take that _back_!" Ukyou snarled.
"Give me one _good_ reason!" Akane demanded.
*oh great* Ryoga dithered *what am I going to _do_?* "Um...
you two... uh."
"Shut up, Ryoga-honey. This is between me and HER."
Akane's hands were hard fists. "Ukyou Kuonji, I really want
to hurt you right now!"
Ukyou sneered. "Go ahead and try, _sugar_."
*Damn!* Ryoga stepped forward but a hand on his arm
restrained him, he turned to see Ranma shaking his head.
"Leave it alone, man. No guy can win in a bitch fight."
Akane and Ukyou twitched and turned their angry glares on
Ranma. "WHAT did you say?"
Ryoga looked at them and at Ranma who'd gone pale, he
released himself from Ranma's grip and edged away.
"Now is a _good_ time to be lost."
Ryoga bolted from the bus as Akane and Ukyou leapt on
Ranma and began applying the mallet and spatula method
of retribution.
"What's going on?" asked Mikado as Ryoga approached the
others who were all seated on a blanket.
"Oh, Ranma put both feet in his mouth, as usual." said
Ryoga. "Akane and Ukyou are using aversion therapy to try
and cure him. Not that it will work."
A few minutes later the bus doors opened and Ukyou and
Akane came out.
"Gomen, Ukyou." Akane was saying. "I didn't mean to say all
those things, I just... well... I guess I lost my temper."
"You _guess_?" Ukyou giggled. "Oh, Akane-chan!"
Akane blushed slightly. "Yes, well." she paused. "I'm also
sorry for accusing you of chasing Ranma. I know you
wouldn't do that anymore."
Ukyou smiled shakily. "Hai... of course not." she cleared
her throat. "Well, I might... uh... go make lunch." She
looked at Ryoga. "Um... Ryoga, can I talk to you?"
He blinked. "Sure."
As they walked back to the bus, a very battered Ranma
weaved out of the doors and collapsed on the ground. Ukyou
gave him a concerned glance. "Are you alright, Ranchan?"
"s'okay." Ranma mumbled. "used to it."
Ryoga grinned at him. "Heh. That'll teach you to watch
your mouth Ranma."
Ukyou thumped his arm. "Shut up you."
They went into the kitchen. Ryoga leaned against the
counter. "What is it?"
Ukyou took a deep breath, fidgeted for a second and then
looked into his eyes. "Is everyone really sick of eating
okonomiyaki?" she asked.
Ryoga tensed, his gaze slid away from hers. "W-why do
you ask?" *I'm not going to tell her the truth! I like to
_live_.*
Ukyou walked over to him and grabbed his head, forcing him
to look at her. "Please tell me the truth, Ryoga!"
He couldn't look away. "Uhh... well, we have been eating it
alot lately. Ummm... it would probably be nice to have a
change... " his breath caught as tears appeared in her eyes.
*Oh no. I can't take tears, hitting yes, tears no.*
Ukyou let go of his head and wiped her eyes. "Thanks for
telling me the truth, Ryoga." She fiddled with one of her
small spatulas. "So, what should I make?" she mused, half to
him and half to herself. She reached for a cookbook.
Ryoga came up behind her and placed his hand on hers. "I've
got a better idea." he said.
Ukyou looked down at the large hand covering her small one
and her heart did a perculiar leap. "Y-yes?" she said.
"Let me cook." said Ryoga. "You deserve a break."
*Heartbeat* Silence.
"You can COOK??!!!"
***
"Wow that lunch was great!" said Godai as the bus sped
along the highway.
"Mmmm!" agreed Miya. "I've never tasted sukiyaki like that
before."
"Who would have guess that lost boy could boil an egg, let
alone make a full course lunch." said Nabiki.
Akane smiled. "Of course Ryoga can cook!" she said. "He does
wander about alot, he'd have to cook for himself or he'd
starve!"
Ranma sulked. There was nothing he could say really. The food
had been really good, but he wasn't about to give P-chan the
satisfaction of knowing _that_.
"This did make a nice change from okonomiyaki." Kiyone said.
"I _like_ okonomiyaki." said Ranma.
They all stared at him.
"Even for breakfast, lunch AND dinner?" asked Mikado.
"Yes." said Ranma stubbornly. "In fact... " He got up and
made his way over to Ukyou who was in her usual seat beside
Ryoga.
"Hey, Ucchan."
"What is it, Ranchan?"
Ranma smiled a winning smile that made Ukyou's heart flutter.
"Could you do something for me?" he asked.
Ukyou nodded. "Sure."
"Make me okonomiyaki, even if you're not making it for the
others."
Ukyou put one hand on her heart. "Oh... Ranchan. Yes! Yes,
I will!"
"I'd like that." Ranma squeezed her shoulder and went back
to his seat.
Ukyou sat back, stars, hearts and flowers crowding in her
big eyes. "Oooooh... "
Ryoga shot her a sour sidelong glance. *Stupid Ranma.* he
thought, *He just can't say anything _good_ about what I
do! Not that it bothers me, I just wish... wish he'd stop
making up to... to... HER.*
"Left, Ryoga."
"Hn?"
*Clang!*
"Owwww... " Ryoga made a left turn.
"Pay attention!" Ukyou put her spatula away. "Keep going
straight, no, I'll rephrase that, follow the _road_ ."
she sighed and went back to a Ranma-filled daydream.
Ryoga grunted and concentrated on the road ahead, the
distant skyscrapers of Hong Kong came closer and closer.
***
To be continued.
From jaelle@ihug.co.nz Sun Jun 13 14:33:18 1999
From: Jessica <jaelle@ihug.co.nz>
Subject: [Ranma][FanFic] Magical Mystery Hibiki Tour #10
Newsgroups: rec.arts.anime.creative
Organization: The Internet Group Ltd
Followup-To: rec.arts.anime.fandom
Ranma 1/2: The Magical Mystery Hibiki Tour
by Jaelle and Orla
***
The characters in this story are the property of Rumiko
Takahashi-sama. We prostrate ourselves at her feet and beg her
forgiveness for our temerity in using these characters. We're
not worthy! We're not worthy!
The other characters are copyright to Yukie Nasu and Pioneer
LDC.
C & C is welcome (although we don't like flames!). You can
contact us at either: ladyorla@yahoo.com or jaelle@ihug.co.nz
For more of our fanfiction visit our site 'Insane Musings'at:
http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~jaelle/Jaelle_Orla.htm
***
This story occurs four years after Ranma 1/2 volume 38.
***
Part 10
***
"Welcome to Hong Kong!"
"I thought Hong Kong was an island!" yelled Suka. Ukyou
looked taken aback. Ryoga sighed, he got this all the time.
He grabbed the microphone.
"Hong Kong has four main areas - Hong Kong Island, the new
Territories and outlying islands, and Kowloon, which is
where we are _now_. Hong Kong is the economic heart - which
means it's where all the business goes on Ranma..."
Ranma steamed.
"Kowloon is the more populated area, and the more touristy
area."
"Wow, how did you know that Ryoga?" Ukyou was impressed.
Ryoga grimaced, "Just because I can't apply it doesn't mean
I don't theoretically know what it's geography is. I happen
to have a university degree in geography." *An _Icelandic_
university degree admittedly, but _still_.*
Ranma raised an eyebrow. "And you still can't find your
way back from the bathroom?"
"Shut up Ranma!"
"Anyway," said Ukyou, hurrying on before the argument
progressed into the inevitable, potentially bus-
destroying fight. "We're going to be staying at the
STB Hostel."
"My god, we're in Hong Kong and we're staying in a
_hostel_?" Nabiki said.
"Hong Kong is a _very_ expensive area Nabiki," said
Ukyou. "The prices are extortionate. They're, well...
the sort of prices _you_ would charge."
"Oh," said Nabiki. "Fair enough then."
"Now, if I can just find the street on the map," Ukyou
pored over the map. Ryoga brought the bus to a halt and
opened the doors to let more fresh air in while she did
so. Suddenly a figure blurred and sprinted up the steps.
It waved a considerable amount of money under Ryoga's
nose and yelled, in Cantonese "<Driver! I don't care
where you're going but leave now and this is all yours!>"
Ryoga blinked and realigned his language patterns. "<This
isn't a...>"
"<HURRY!>"
Ryoga peered past the man at the horde of screaming young
women pouring towards the bus. "<()*&#%>," he swore in
an obscure Nordish dialect. Closing the doors he slammed
his foot down and the bus sped on. Ukyou was knocked back
into her seat at the acceleration and Ryoga quickly turned
down several side streets in order to... uh... lose the
crowds.
"Stop Ryoga stop! Before we end up in India!" she yelled.
The man did a double take. "Ryoga???!!!" he took off his
dark glasses. "My god, it _is_ you," he said in Japanese.
"What are you doing... why am I asking this question, you're
lost of course..." he looked at Ukyou. "Whoa, Kuonji? You're
lost too?"
Ukyou stared at him. "Who are you and how do you know my
name?"
The guy smiled at her. "Don't remember me? Let me give you
a hint." He grabbed her hands. "Akane Tendo, how nice it
is to see you again!"
"Oh my god." said Ranma.
The man looked down the bus. "Ranma? Saotome Ranma?" his
eyes roamed further. "Akane Tendo, Nabiki Tendo, Konatsu...
and lots of other people I don't know who are probably
engaged to you in some obscure manner... what's going on?"
"That's what _we'd_ like to ask you, Mousse," said Ryoga.
"What's with all the girls? You accidentally walk into the
ladies baths again?"
Ukyou stared at Mousse. There was something funny here.
Something not quite right. What was it..?
Mousse had changed little over the last three years. His
hair was shorter, and he was wearing modern clothes - black
jeans and a white shirt. But there was something else...
Ukyou's eyes widened. "Mousse!" she grabbed his shoulders.
"Who am I?"
He grinned. "Ukyou Kuonji, AKA the cute fiancee."
Ukyou blushed, "Well, not anymore." *I plan to be the cute
wife!* "You recognised us - you can SEE us?"
Mousse laughed. "As plain as the spatula on your back."
"What happened?"
"I had corrective eye surgery a couple of years back," said
Mousse. "Nothing mysterious."
"But isn't that expensive?" asked Nabiki.
*You should know,* thought diverse members of the tour.
"Yes," Mousse admitted. "But I saved up most of the money
and my manager advanced me the rest, which I have since
paid back to him."
"Manager?" asked Akane.
"Uh... well..."
"I think we can see what you mean," said Konatsu. "Look!"
Everyone looked out the right windows. On the wall facing
them was a huge poster - "Mushu's new album! Already
golden! Make it platinum! Buy: _Now You See It, Now You
Don't_."
"You're an _idol singer_?" Ranma asked incredulously. "But
you suck!"
"Thank you," said Mousse. "The 555,000 people who bought
my last album must disagree with you. I suck in _Japanese_
Ranma, I sing much better in _Chinese_, when I can
concentrate on the music not the words."
"So this is all you've been doing Mousse? And you've been
in Hong Kong all this time?" asked Akane.
"Pretty much," said Mousse. He grinned again, he was loving
this. "I just finished my movie though."
"MOVIE??!!"
"Yup, meet Hong Kong's new kung-fu movie star!" Mousse
posed.
"Yeesh." said Ukyou.
"Uh Ukyou."
"What is it Ryoga?"
"Is a sign saying 'You are now leaving the city limits'
a bad thing?"
"YOU IDIOT!!!!"
Mousse watched as Ukyou wreaked vengeance upon Ryoga. "So,
what are you guys all doing?"
***
"So that's it, a mystery tour, well well..." said Mousse,
eating more shaved ice. The group were now ensconced in
their hostel, Mousse along with them. After he'd
explained his situation (and offered a hefty bribe) Ukyou
had smuggled him back into Kowloon and their hostel.
"I never thought I'd see the day when you four were all
travelling together in peace."
Ukyou, Ranma, Ryoga and Akane all looked guilty.
"Ah," he said. "Well don't worry, I have no intention of
adding to the chaos."
"Well that's a sudden change of heart Mousse," said Ryoga.
"What brought that on?"
"Because there's no point," Mousse shrugged casually. "I
decided it wasn't worth it in the end. You may have noticed
that I haven't been around lately..." he looked at Ryoga.
"Then again, you might not have. I decided a couple of years
back that it wasn't worth all the stress and internal
injuries... not to mention the heartache, of trying to make
Xian Pu mine." he pronounced her name carefully and correctly.
"I saw that if I kept on in this direction I'd be spending the
rest of my life as a dog..."
"I thought you turned into a duck," said Kiyone, who was
grimly trying to keep up with the explanations provided
earlier. Everyone else had given up at the "Ranma turns into
a girl when splashed with cold water" section. In one corner
Mikado was quietly gagging after Akane had forcibly taken
the toothpaste and toothbrush off him.
"It's a metaphor," said Mousse. "As her dog, and fighting
people I didn't know for no good reason. So, I opted out.
Came here, got a job doing the same thing I used to do at
the Nekohanten - except this time I got _paid_. Saved up,
met a man one night who said I had potential, signed with
him, and the rest is history." he sipped some tea.
"Okay," said Akane. "Well, it's nice to have you as a...
friend?"
Mousse laughed. Ryoga noticed that he seemed to be doing
that a lot lately. *It must be nice to be happy* he
thought wistfully. *Maybe when Ukyou and I are together
we'll be happy like that. Wait a second... I mean _Akane_
and I. I think.* Noone noticed the worried look on his face.
"I would be honoured to be your friend Akane Tendo," he
said. "Yours too Ukyou, Ryoga... and maybe even you someday
Saotome."
"Why single me out?" asked Ranma.
"Oh I don't know, the pain, the humiliation, the fact that
everything bad that ever happened to me is _your_ fault..."
Ranma sweatdropped. Mousse smiled at him. It was not a
friendly smile.
"But anyway," he said, turning back to the rest of the
group. "In the spirit of our new friendship, why don't you
let me show you around?"
"That would be great, thanks!" said Ukyou. "Okay everyone,
unpack, shower, change, whatever... and then we'll go have
dinner in the restaurant of Mousse's choice."
The group moved to break up. Mousse waited carefully until
Akane stood up, then gently pulled her to one side.
"Uh, Akane? Not that I care or anything, but... how's
Xian Pu been lately?"
Akane paused. *Yeah right,* she thought. *_Sure_ you're
over her.* She tried to let her thoughts on Shampoo pass
unprejudiced. It was difficult.
"She's fine." *Excusing the fact that she's a pain in the
ass most of the time*. "She's still at the Nekohanten with
Cologne. I imagine she's serving ramen as we speak!"
***
"<WHERE THE HELL ARE THEY???!!!>"
***
Mousse smiled. "Good, I'm glad she's okay." A haunted look
passed through his eyes. "Shall we go?"
Akane felt sympathy welling up in her. *Poor guy, he's
really torn up about her*. "That would be great," she
linked her arm with his. "Let's go."
Silently watching this exchange from across the room,
Ranma fumed. *Why is she being so nice to that jerk?*
He watched them leave the room together. *Hn! Well,
two can play at that game.*
"Oh Ucchan!"
***
After a huge meal of delicious spicy food, with considerable
amounts of alcohol to wash it down, the group relaxed around
the restaurant table, staring out off the verandah over the
vista of the heart of Hong Kong.
Ryoga wiped his plate clean with a practiced swipe and
drained his glass. Still remembering his hangover, he'd
switched to fruit juice earlier in the evening. Many of
his companions had not, however. Akane and Nabiki were
giggling together in a surprisingly unguarded moment,
their family resemblance obvious for once. Suka and Mia
had wandered off to the shadowy end of the balcony, and
judging by the giggles and laughter emitting from it Ryoga
was fairly sure he didn't want to know what they were
doing. Godai and Sanzenin were trying to build a house of
chopsticks, with a notable lack of success, whilst Konatsu
was playing 'hostess' - cheering them on and filling their
glasses. "I love a man who can drink!" he enthused to
Godai. "I love Kyoko!" he replied. Ryoga's eyebrows shot
up. *Oooookay.* He looked at the rest of the group.
Kiyone was staring deep into her glass, and smiling
slightly. "Mihoshi's not here... Mihoshi's not here...
Heeeeeeeeeee!" she giggled. Ryoga sweatdropped. *Maybe
I should set her up with Godai.* he thought. *They both
seem to be in hopeless relationships.* With a depressed
sigh he looked at the remaining group members. *And coming
from me that's fairly condemning. Speaking of hopeless
relationships...* he trailed off this thought miserably
as Akane turned back to a _very_ well-pickled Mousse to
share the joke. Ranma, watching this, fumed and knocked
back yet another glass of drink. Ryoga watched and heartily
wished that _he'd_ managed to order the drinks before
Mousse had. That stuff was lethal in _small_ doses... and
Ranma was drinking it out of the water glass.
Ranma glared at Mousse and turned back to Ukyou, who was
holding his arm and smiling up at him. Ukyou was not drunk.
Ukyou had in fact drunk very little alcohol. But she felt
as though she had drunken every bottle in the restaurant.
*Oh Ranchan...* she thought happy to be the centre of his
attention.
Ranma heard Akane laugh, he put an arm around Ukyou. "Hey,
you wanna look at the lights, Ucchan?"
Ukyou swallowed. "H-hai."
Ryoga's eyes narrowed as the pair stood up and moved towards
the empty end of the balcony. As they disappeared into the
shadows Ryoga stood up and followed. *Ranma's pretty drunk,
he might... he might... * Ryoga gritted his teeth. *I just
don't want any accidents to happen,* he told himself. *I...
I don't care about Ranma, but I do care about Ukyou... if
he... if Ranma slipped, well, I don't care if _he_ falls off
the balcony, it's only four stories, but I _need_ Ukyou...
to navigate.* Silently and resolutely Ryoga stalked the pair.
Ukyou gasped a little when she and Ranma reached the end of
the balcony. This was not caused by the breathtaking sight of
the lights of Hong Kong, but by the weight of Ranma as he
stumbled and pressed her body close to the balcony rails. She
waited for him to straighten, but his arm remained around her
shoulders and she could feel the warmth of his breath on her
neck. Ukyou's heart beat frantically and she twisted around
to look up at him.
Ranma wasn't feeling too good, getting up had _definitely_
been a mistake, his head was spinning. He barely noticed
Ukyou's presence under his arm or her wide eyes looking up
at him.
"Ranchan..." Ukyou breathed, totally misinterpreting the
glazed look in his eyes. "I... I've wanted to tell you for
so long... I..."
Ranma blinked and tried to focus on her. His fogged brain
was sending him warning signals and they started to kick in.
This had been a mistake, he had to go back to the table, get
Akane and...
"Ranchan... no, Ranma... I... I love you!" Ukyou blurted, her
heart in her eyes.
Ranma stared at her as the words sunk into his conciousness.
"You... what?"
Ukyou leaned on his chest. "love you." she whispered.
Ranma rapidly began to sober up. "I thought you were my
_friend_!" he said sharply. His mind raced. "I thought we
weren't going to do this anymore. I thought you understood."
Ukyou looked back up at him in alarm. This was _not_ how she
had imagined his response to her declaration. "Ranchan... "
Ranma pushed away from her. " How can you say things like
that after all this time... " his eyes narrowed. "Unless,
this was your plan... "
"My... ?"
"You set... "
"Ranma! Ukyou!" Ryoga pushed between them. "What are you
doing to Ukyou?!"
Ranma blinked. "Ryoga... "
Ryoga took in the situation, *okay, action... what should
I do? Hmmm... *
"Ryoga," Ranma's tone was quiet. "What are you talking
about? We're not..."
"Hey, I'm sorry Ranma." Ryoga grinned at him. "But Ukyou is
sooooo drunk, moreso than you even, so don't pay any attention
to her okay? I'll look after her."
"Wha... ?"
Ukyou scowled at Ryoga. "I am not drunk!" she cried in
anger.
Ryoga shot her a significant, meaningful look. "Yes, you
are!"
Ukyou totally missed the look. "No I am not!"
Ryoga ground his teeth. "Fine." he muttered. He smiled
brightly at Ranma. "See Ranma, she's so drunk she can't
even stand up straight."
"What do you... aaarrrgghh!" Ukyou squealed as Ryoga hooked
a foot around her leg and brought her down into his arms.
Ranma blinked again. "Ano... "
"In fact," Ryoga rattled on. "She's so drunk that I think
I should take her back to the hostel." With a swift movement
he slung Ukyou over his shoulder.
"Hey! HEY!!!!" she screamed, her voice slightly muffled by
his shirt.
Ryoga tilted his head to avoid her kicking feet and clamped
one hand firmly on her waist. "See ya, Saotome." he turned
swiftly.
Ukyou's upper torso hit Ranma as Ryoga turned. She cried out
in pain and Ranma, not steady on his feet, stumbled back. He
hit the balcony rails. There was a loud crack.
"AAAAAHHHHH!!!!" *Thud!*
Ryoga looked around. "Oooopsie." he smirked.
The rest of the Tour group and Mousse stared as Ryoga came
up to the table still carrying Ukyou, kicking and screaming,
over his shoulder. Mikado eyed him with a look of respect.
"Now thash a real man." he saluted Ryoga with his glass.
Konatsu raised an eyebrow. "How would _you_ know a real man
when you saw one?" he asked.
"I'm taking Ukyou, back to the hostel." said Ryoga. "She's
drunk again."
"I AM NOT!!!!!!" howled Ukyou thumping his back.
Ryoga ignored her. "Konatsu can you lead us back?" he asked
calmly.
"Uh... sure." Konatsu got up. "But won't people stare if
Ukyou-sama keeps yelling like that?"
"If she doesn't shut up," said Ryoga. "I'm going to drop her
in Hong Kong harbour."
"You WOULDN'T!" gasped Ukyou.
"Wouldn't I?" Ryoga began to leave, Konatsu in front.
Silence.
Ryoga and Konatsu walked away. The others stared after them,
then Akane looked around.
"Hey, where's Ranma?"
***
"I hate you." Ukyou sobbed. "I really, really hate you."
Ryoga felt odd then, as if he'd been stabbed by a million
shards of glass. He swallowed. "It's for your own good. I
couldn't let you humiliate yourself like that." he said
as they walked down the stairs.
"And _this_ isn't humilating?" was Ukyou's muffled reply.
"Now everyone thinks I'm a lush."
"It was all I could think of." Ryoga stepped into the
street.
"*sniff* please put me down."
Ryoga sighed and lifted her up, holding her in mid air he
gave her a stern look. "Are you going to behave?"
Ukyou's face was flushed, not just from being upside-down,
but also from a mixture of humiliation and anger. "You can't
treat me like a child."
Ryoga laughed. "Watch me. I could carry you _all_ across
Hong Kong if I wanted to."
Ukyou breathed deeply. *I am _not_ going to lose my temper.
I do _not_ want to be carried through Hong Kong over Ryoga's
shoulder!*
Ryoga watched the fleeting emotions chasing across her face.
Then a tear trickled down one cheek, Ryoga winced inwardly
but continued to hold her up.
"You're the one who said we'd have to approach this whole
thing delicately, then you go and blunder like that, what
were you thinking?" he demanded.
"I thought he was... that he liked... that he wanted..."
Ukyou ran down, another tear joining the first.
"He was _drunk_!" Ryoga was exasperated. "He was annoyed
with Mousse! He was trying to make _Akane_ jealous! He was
concentrating on not throwing up!!!!" He sighed. "Now, I
don't particularly _want_ to carry you back to the hostel,
particularly not with you thumping on my back all the way,
but I will if you don't sort yourself out and act like a
mature individual."
Ukyou gasped, *I can't believe he just _said_ that to me,
to _me_.* She sniffled once, then again. And then the truth
of his words hit her. That Ranma was drunk. That he was
trying to make Akane jealous. That she had nearly blown
his friendship. And then the tears came.
Ryoga watched somewhat apprehensively as Ukyou burst into
tears. Gingerly, he lowered her against him, letting her
feet touch the ground. She clung to his shirt, sobbing.
Cautiously, he put both arms around her. "It's alright."
he said softly. "It's okay. I'm sorry I humiliated you. I
never meant to hurt you. I could never do that." They
stood together in the deserted street.
***
Back at the hostel, Konatsu turned around. "Oh no! I've
lost Ukyou-sama!"
***
Later that night:
Ranma rubbed his head and groaned slightly. *Well, this
lump is going to be there for a while!* He sat up and
fingered the bandage that Akane had put on his head earlier.
*Ow... * He frowned trying to focus on the events that had
brought him to this.
"Lets see... " Ranma mused aloud. "I was a little drunk, and
Ucchan and I... " he paused. *Ucchan said she _loved_ me.*
Ranma lay back down on his bed. "Why did she say that? She
stopped chasing me _years_ ago." He closed his eyes. *Then
Ryoga showed up, he said she was drunk. Was she? She seemed
so sincere... * Then he remembered the last time Ukyou had
been drunk. *She _was_ overly affectionate, I guess Ryoga
was right.* He fingered the bandage again. *No need to shove
me off the balcony, stupid jerk! What did he do that for?*
*"I'll look after her."* Ryoga's voice echoed in Ranma's
memory pulling him back upright. He hit his fist into in
his palm as realisation dawned.
"Of course! Ryoga was jealous!" Ranma chuckled and then
looked rueful. *I guess I should apologise for taking Ucchan
off like that, if someone had done that to Akane I'd be
ready to kill them!* With a grin Ranma stood up and left
his room.
***
Ryoga put down his drink and began to go through some
stretching exercises in an effort to clear his mind before
turning in. He'd done one set, very carefully due to the
enclosed space, when there was a knock on the door.
Ryoga straightened and eyed the door warily. "Hai?"
The door opened and Ranma entered, grinning. "Hey, buddy,
what's up?"
*Great* "Hello Ranma, how's your head?"
Ranma tensed and glared at him for a moment, then he relaxed.
"I didn't come here to fight." he said.
Ryoga picked up his tea and took a sip. "Then _what_?"
"I wanted to say sorry for moving in on your turf."
Ryoga stared at him. "Huh?"
Ranma nudged him in the arm. "Oh come on! I can see it, how
you feel about her."
Ryoga froze. *He knows how I still feel about Akane-san?*
Ranma sauntered back to the door. "Yeah, I know how strongly
you feel for Ukyou. Ja man!" he left.
*Crash!*
Ryoga didn't notice the cup smashing on the floor and the
hot tea splashing his bare feet. He stared at the door for
a long time.
***
Ukyou curled up in her bed, hugging her legs. For the first
time since the Tour had started she was beginning to doubt.
Doubt her belief that Ranma was not in love with Akane. Doubt
that she was really his true love.
Ukyou bit her lip. *I can't think like this, or everything
will be for nothing, and I will be alone.* She opened her
eyes and stared into the darkness. *There's no other man
for me but Ranma.* she told herself. *Kamisama! I don't
want to be left again!*
***
To be continued.
From: Jessica <jaelle@ihug.co.nz>
Subject: [Ranma][FanFic] Magical Mystery Hibiki Tour #11
Ranma 1/2: The Magical Mystery Hibiki Tour
by Jaelle and Orla
***
The characters in this story are the property of Rumiko
Takahashi-sama. We prostrate ourselves at her feet and beg her
forgiveness for our temerity in using these characters. We're
not worthy! We're not worthy!
The other characters are copyright to Yukie Nasu and Pioneer
LDC.
C & C is welcome (although we don't like flames!). You can
contact us at either: ladyorla@yahoo.com or jaelle@ihug.co.nz
For more of our fanfiction visit our site 'Insane Musings'at:
http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~jaelle/Jaelle_Orla.htm
***
This story occurs four years after Ranma 1/2 volume 38.
***
Part 11
"Good morning children!" said Nabiki.
"Good mor-ning grand-mother Nabiki," chanted Suka and Miya,
who then spoiled the effect by giggling.
Nabiki shook her finger at the couple and looked at the
rest of the table. Godai and Ranma both looked like death
warmed up - clearly a case of the morning after the night
before. Mikado was flirting with Konatsu - didn't the man
_ever_ stop? Konatsu was eating his toast with a bored
expression on his face. Hmmm... better do something to
spice that situation up before Konatsu got too bored and,
ahem, revealed all to Mikado. Nabiki had a nice little
pool going on the day that he would work it out and she
didn't want it spoilt. Especially after all the fast
talking she'd had to do on Suka... for some reason he
seemed to be against the prospect. Good god, Kiyone was
_still_ drunk. Well, that's one way to avoid the
hangover. Nabiki watched enviously as Kiyone downed
another glass of something purple. Well, from the sounds
of it she badly needed to drown her sorrows. Now... where
were the interesting group?
Ah. There they were. Ukyou was poring over maps and
brochures as though her life depended on it. Guilty conscience
honey? Akane was... *sigh* insisting on talking to Ryoga
over breakfast _again_. Hadn't she noticed the way he
acted when she did that to him? It's not like most people
_intentionally_ eat the cutlery. Nabiki stared.
Ryoga turned and saw Nabiki staring at him, *What? Do I
have something down me?* He spooned more cereal into his
mouth. *Bleurgh, bran flakes. Sometimes being a martial
artist is more than I can take. My body may be a temple
but I never intended it to be a monastery! What I
wouldn't give for a nice slice of shortbread.* He tuned
back in to Akane's voice. For some reason, this seemed
odd.
*He's... he's NOT eating the cutlery!* Nabiki stared in
awed fascination. Then Ukyou raised her head. "Ryoga!"
Ryoga bit through his spoon.
*Aha!*
***
"Morning!" Mousse waved as the Tour bus arrived.
"He looks bright." observed Godai clutching his head.
Miya gave him another cold towel. "Are you _sure_ you
won't stay at the hostel? You look awful."
"This is my holiday damnit! I'm going to enjoy myself
if it _kills_ me!" he put a hand over his mouth. "Just
don't get between me and the door!"
"Hi Mousse." Ukyou grinned at him. "Glad to see you made
it to your hotel alright."
"Yeah, I just had to avoid 60 women." Mousse said casually.
"So many?" Ryoga smirked. "Hey, Ranma, he's stealing your
secret technique."
"Belt up, pig-boy!"
"Anyway, I've got lots of things to show you." said Mousse.
"Where would you like to go first?"
"Ummm..." Ukyou looked at her notes. "Well, there's the bird
market..."
"Sorry, no." Mousse was firm. "Last time I went there I got
closer to the merchandise than I intended."
"Wak."
"Shut up, Saotome."
"Okay then." Ukyou looked over towards Hong Kong Island. "How
about we start there?"
"Good idea, Kuonji!"
"Mousse, you can call me Ukyou."
***
On the ferry:
"Urgh."
"Just lean over the side, Godai."
"I am!"
*splash!*
"What did you do that for?" Ranma-chan screamed at the
grinning Kiyone.
"Just checking."
Nabiki smiled. She had taught her well.
"Ryoga, you can't stay in there all the way. It's sooo
lovely."
"I'm sorry, Akane-san, but I..."
"He has a fear of open water, Akane-chan."
"Really, Ukyou?" Akane blinked. "Actually, that does explain
his behaviour in Hangzhou." she left the cabin.
"I don't know if I should thank you for that." said Ryoga.
"Consider it part-payment for last night." said Ukyou sweetly.
She sat down beside him. "Anyway, it's good she's gone. Now
we can be alone."
"Guh?" Ryoga stared at her.
"Yes." Ukyou leaned closer.
Ryoga's nose twitched.
"I have a plan."
Ryoga's heart stopped racing. "Oh." he frowned. "Are you
still going ahead with this, even after last night?"
Ukyou flinched slightly. "It was a temporary setback. Besides,
you still love Akane, don't you?"
"Umm... well... *What does she want to hear?* Ummm..."
Exasperated, Ukyou loomed over him. "_Well_?" she demanded
"What is it? Yes or no?!"
Ryoga gulped. "Uh... yes?"
***
"Wow... this is cool!" Miya cried.
"You can see all of Hong Kong from here!" Mikado leaned
forward.
"Watch it!" snapped Konatsu. "You're squashing me!"
"Tram rides are fun, aren't they Akane-san?" Ryoga said
lamely. Ukyou had shoved him next to Akane and pulled
Ranma away the minute they got on the tram. He was now
attempting to make small talk, and was failing miserably.
"What are they doing?" Akane said, she was trying to get
a good look at Ukyou and Ranma who were at the other end
of the tram, talking to the driver, or at least trying to,
none of them spoke English that well.
"It's a nice day too." Ryoga continued in desperation.
Kiyone looked at him oddly. "Are you okay, Ryoga?" she
asked. Kiyone had sobered up during the ferry ride, the
ice water thrown at her by Ranma probably had something
to do with it.
"Oh I'm _fine_." said Ryoga flatly.
"You don't look happy." she pointed out.
Akane heard this and looked worriedly at Ryoga. "You do
look down." she said, then her expression became contrite.
"Gomen, Ryoga-kun, I haven't been very good company, have
I."
"Oh, I don't think it's _that_." said Nabiki, she licked
her lips. "I think Ryoga is thinking about someone else."
Ryoga narrowed his eyes. "Oh? I am?"
"Yes, a pretty chef."
Ryoga glowered. "I am _not_!" he snapped. "There is only
one woman whom I love!"
"So you admit it then." Nabiki smirked. "You are in love
with Uk..."
Ryoga leapt to his feet. "Aha! We have arrived!" he cried
and bolted for the door.
Unfortunately it hadn't been opened yet.
*Crash!* *Crack!*
"Oh dear." muttered Nabiki trying not to laugh. "There goes
more of the Tour funds."
***
"Jackass! Bakabaka... JACKASS!!!!!!!!" *Crunch!*
Ukyou finished spatularing Ryoga into the sidewalk and
then hit the wall next to her a few times for good measure.
"What the hell were you _doing_?!"
"Whoa... Ucchan's really mad."
"No kidding." Akane glared at her older sister. "What were
you saying to him oneesan?"
"You heard me Akane." Nabiki shrugged. "I have _no_ idea
what got him so upset." *He reacted very strongly, he must
have it bad. Good.*
***
"You'll like this zoo, Ranma." said Mousse.
"Oh yeah?"
"Yes, the primates will make you feel right at home."
Ranma stopped. "Okay, _that's it! You are going _down_
duck-boy!" He began to glow faintly blue.
Kiyone observed this and turned to Suka, Miya and Godai.
"You know, I've heard that this zoo has nocturnal animals."
"And they would be kept somewhere dark and enclosed and
safe?"
"They would indeed!"
"Let's go look at the nocturnal animals!" cried Godai.
They moved away.
Nabiki, Konatsu and Mikado paused for all of one nano-second,
then followed.
Ryoga began to follow. He was pulled back by his bandanna.
"_And_ just where do you think you're going?" demanded Ukyou.
"To look at the nocturnal animals?"
"No! We have to stop this!" Ukyou waved a hand in the direction
of Mousse and Ranma.
"Do I have to?" Ryoga asked. "Couldn't we just let them wipe
each other out?"
"RYOGA!"
He finched, "No hitting, no hitting!" He sighed. "Okay, I'll
do it. But I'll need _your_ help Ukyou."
"Me?"
"It has to be a girl."
"Ask Akane then you dope!" Ukyou was furious, honestly, he
kept missing the point entirely!
Ryoga rolled his eyes and ambled off towards Akane, who
was watching the fight develop anxiously. He whispered in
her ear. She laughed.
Ukyou fumed. *Normally I would _love_ him to be chatting
her up, but we have kind of a crisis situation on hand
here! Hey, since when did _he_ get to be such a smooth
operator around her?*
Akane clasped her hands together, and in a loud clear
voice yelled:
"Oh WOW! It's MU SHU the IDOL SINGER! Can I have your
autograph?!!!!"
Akane may have been speaking in Japanese, but the
message got across. Women began to converge on the
area.
Ryoga dragged Akane free of the morass and then grabbed
Ukyou. "_Now_ can we go look at the noctural animals?"
"I think they're this way." Ukyou headed off at high
speed.
***
Shopping vinaigrettes:
After being chased out of yet another department store:
"Hey Mousse, want another pair of sunglasses?"
"No!"
"Hey Mousse, I've got the perfect disguise for you. I
guarantee that no-one will recognise you this time."
*SPLASH*
"QQUAAAAAAACK!!!"
"Hey! Noone warned me about the throwing knives!"
Mikado fled past the group at high speed.
***
"Does this dress make me look fat?" Kiyone asked.
"Kiyone, _nothing_ could make you look fat," said Miya.
"I'm totally envious, how do you keep your figure? Are
you on a diet?"
"Alien metabolism."
"What?"
"Never mind."
"Can someone get this zip?" Akane asked. Ukyou obligingly
zipped the back of the dress up.
"Thanks, what do you think?"
"Er... you did realise that it's see-through didn't you?"
"EEEPPP!!!"
Ukyou giggled and turned away as Akane frantically searched
for a different outfit and fumbled through her choices of
clothing to try on. Her hand came up with a silver dress.
"Hey, this isn't mine!" She held it up and examined it.
"_Definitely_ not mine."
Nabiki examined it and pursed her lips. "Try it on."
Ukyou did. The next ten minutes were occupied with the
combined efforts of every other female in the changing room
to pressure her into buying it.
***
"I'm... so bored..." said Ranma. "What are they DOING?!!!"
"Get used to it," said Godai, hands behind his head. "This
happens a lot."
"So speaks the great romancer." drawled Ranma sarcastically.
"Where's Konatsu?"
"In the changing rooms," replied Ryoga.
There was a pause.
"_Which_ changing rooms?"
***
"Is this me? How about this? Does this suit me? Does it go
with my eyes? What about this one? What do you think?"
"You look beautiful Mikado, can we go now?"
***
"Thank GOD that's over," declared Ranma. "What a waste of
time, stupid girls fretting over their clothes..."
*SPLASH*
"I didn't see _you_ hurrying up," said Miya to Ranma-chan.
"Great, now they're _all_ doing it," said Ranma-chan.
"But it's so much FUN!" said Miya.
"Don't even think about it," said Suka.
"Ukyou, have you been talking to them?" Ranma-chan asked.
"Huh?" Ukyou jolted herself awake.
"Are you okay?" asked Kiyone. "You have huge dark circles
under your eyes."
"I'm fine, I'm fine..." said Ukyou, waving. "I have to
navigate for Ryoga."
"Where are we going?"
"Wong Tai Sin temple," Ukyou replied. "It's... that way."
Ryoga started the engine, "Are you sure?"
"Of COURSE I'm sure... _I'm_ the one with the sense of
direction!"
"Go ahead and rub it in, don't spare my feelings or
anything," Ryoga grumbled. They drove off, waving to
Mousse as they went.
"Bye Mousse!" yelled Kiyone.
"How come he isn't coming along?" Godai asked.
"Oh, he's got some function to go to for his movie,"
Suka shrugged.
***
"Okay." Ukyou yawned. "Keep going down the motorway, there's
a turn-off to the temple."
"Right." Ryoga moved into the slow lane. "Was this the best
way to come? I mean, we had to leave the city and I thought
this place was in the Kowloon."
"It is." said Ukyou sleepily. "I thought it would be easier
to go this way, despite being longer, 'cause I don't think
I could navigate that well in Hong Kong traffic, especially
when it's getting dark."
"Hn." Ryoga nodded and kept on driving.
Ukyou looked blearly back at the others. Mikado had fallen
asleep, Konatsu too, both were leaning against each other.
*Konatsu's gonna kill him.* Ukyou thought. Ranma, Akane,
Miya and Suka were idly talking, and the rest were looking
out of the window in a glazed fashion.
Ukyou sighed and slouched down in her seat. She was so tired.
It had been hard to get to sleep last night and it had been such
busy day. She yawned and her eyelids drooped.
***
Ryoga frowned. *You know, I've been driving for a while now
and I have a nasty feeling I'm not on the motorway. Hmmm...
there are a lot of lights over there though, I could've
just gotten to the city by mistake. Not likely though. It's
really dark now, I can hardly see, even with the lights* He
looked over at Ukyou.
Ukyou was fast asleep. Ryoga gulped. *Uh oh.*
He decided that the best option would be to pull in and
find out where they were. A large shape loomed up nearby.
*Hmmm... looks like a garage or something. I'll pull in
there and wake up Ukyou, maybe we can find someone there
too.*
He drove the bus into the garage. *Up a ramp? Odd.*
Ryoga stopped the bus, leaned over and tapped Ukyou's
shoulder. "Hey... Ukyou, wake up."
"Hmmm... ?" She blinked and opened her eyes.
"Ukyou, we've gone... uh... a bit off track."
Ukyou tried to focus on him. "What?"
"Hey, why have we stopped?" Ranma asked. "Are we there?"
"Looks a bit dark to me." said Nabiki.
*CLANG!*
Ukyou jerked awake. "What the hell was that? Where are we?"
"That's my line." said Ryoga.
"You jackass! Are we... "
"Umm... guys, I think we're moving again." said Suka.
Ryoga looked down at the steering wheel. "It's not _me_."
There was a low rumbling noise.
"Whats that?" asked Akane.
"Have no idea." said Ranma.
"It sounds like a... a plane taking off." said Kiyone.
"Very close by." said Miya.
There was a horrified silence.
"Not close by." Ukyou was white.
Ryoga met her eyes. "_We're_ on a plane!" they both yelled
as there was a lurch and they were pressed back into their
seats.
The huge cargo plane climbed higher and higher into the sky,
the pilots unaware that they had acquired some new and
unwilling cargo.
***
From: Jessica <jaelle@ihug.co.nz>
Subject: [Ranma][FanFic] Magical Mystery Hibiki Tour #11
***
The Magical Mystery Hibiki Tour
By Jaelle and Orla
***
The characters in this story are the property of Rumiko
Takahashi-sama. We prostrate ourselves at her feet and beg her
forgiveness for our temerity in using these characters. We're
not worthy! We're not worthy!
The other characters are copyright to Yukie Nasu and Pioneer
LDC.
C & C is welcome (although we don't like flames!). You can
contact us at either: ladyorla@yahoo.com or jaelle@ihug.co.nz
For more of our fanfiction visit our site 'Insane Musings'at:
http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~jaelle/Jaelle_Orla.htm
***
This story occurs four years after Ranma 1/2 volume 38.
***
Part 12
*THUD* *bump*
"Well, we've landed." said Ryoga.
"No kidding." drawled Ranma sarcastically, from his upside
down position on the seat. "What gave it away?"
"This is no time for bickering." said Miya shoving Suka off
her lap and scattering the pillows that had landed on them.
"Where are we?"
"In an aeroplane." replied several voices.
"Thank you _so_ much."
Ukyou was almost beside herself with panic. *I can't believe
this is happening, I can't believe this is happening. It's
not fair, it's not fair, NOT FAIR!!!!*
Ryoga turned to ask her a question, but it died on his lips
when he saw her white lips. The rest of the group were in
varying states of fear or anger.
*Amateurs* he thought.
"Mikado, get up here and take the wheel." he ordered.
"Everyone else sit down, don't panic and SHUT UP!"
Surprisingly everyone obeyed him.
"What are you going to do?" demanded Ukyou.
Ryoga ignored her and delivered instructions to Sanzenin.
"When the door is opened is clear, drive out _quickly_,
and get to a safe place outside of the airfields. I'll
meet you."
"But won't you get caught?" Akane asked.
"Don't worry." he reassured her. "I have the perfect
disguise." *After all, who would suspect a cute black piglet?
As long as I don't get mistaken for a lunchtime snack!* he
thought pocketing the water pistol he had confiscated from
Kiyone some hours before. "Just wait for my signal."
"What will that be?"
"You'll know when you see it." With that, he was gone.
"What do you think that was about?" asked Mikado.
"BAKUSAI TENGETSU!!!!!"
"That's the signal!" cried Ranma. "DRIVE!"
Mikado jammed on the acelerator and the bus sped off.
It thundered out of the cargo plane, passed several
surprised (and dazed) airport crew and crashed through
the fence.
***
Ukyou moaned. "Just look at the mess he made!" she eyed
what they could see of the airport from their hiding
place behind some trees.
It was indeed a mess. Quite a few things were on fire,
security and safety crews were running around in a manner
not entirely unlike chickens without heads, Ukyou felt like
joining them.
"Look on the bright side." said Nabiki. "At least this time
you won't have to pay for it. Unless he gets caught of course,
in which case we'll have bail him out of a prison."
Ukyou just moaned again.
"I wonder where we are?" Kiyone said.
"We're in Burma." said Ryoga as he swung back onto the bus,
his clothing was slightly damp. "I hid our tracks, but we'd
better get out of here quick, my diversions won't hold them
off for long."
"Burma??!!" cried everyone.
Mikado got out of the drivers seat and Ryoga sat down and
started the engine.
"Where are we going?" Mikado asked as he was thrown back into
a seat as the bus jolted along.
"Away from here." Ryoga replied, he gritted his teeth as the
bus bounded over the rocky ground knocking over small trees
and running down bushes. Ryoga risked one side-long glance
at Ukyou, she still looked rather shell-shocked. Ryoga
frowned, he'd have to do something about that, as soon as
he found a place to stop. Luck favoured him as the bus soon
lurched onto a dirt road.
"Now we're getting somewhere!" Akane cried.
"Oh yeah?" said Ranma. "Where exactly? We're in Burma and
we don't know nothin' about it!"
"Ryoga will look after us." Akane said confidently. "He's
used to getting lost in strange places."
Nabiki drew out a book - it was a guide to South-East Asia,
she started to flick through it and found the section on
Burma. "Interesting... " she murmered after a while.
Godai grimaced. How could she read while the bus was lurching
around like a drunken sailor?
Ryoga swung onto another road, it was a little smoother and
there were some signs. He looked at them. "Right." he said.
"Mandalay it is."
"Wait!" Ukyou snapped out of her self-induced paralysis.
"Before we go _anywhere_ we have to talk about what we're
going to do!"
Ryoga briefly considered ignoring her, but then decided
Ukyou had had enough for one day, besides it wasn't worth
the pain. He pulled over and parked the bus off the road.
"Well?" he turned to Ukyou.
"Burma... " Ukyou rubbed her temples. "I don't know
_anything_ about it!" She gazed hopefully at Ryoga.
"Well?"
Ryoga leaned back in his seat. "Well." he said. "I
can speak the language - a bit, I drifted through
Rangoon and Mandalay once. Other than that..." he
shook his head.
"It's got one of the world's strongest black markets."
Ukyou and Ryoga turned to see Nabiki standing behind
them. Ukyou frowned. "Oh?"
Nabiki smiled. It was not a nice smile. "I've studied
economies like this, I find them... interesting."
"And profitable too, ne?" Ukyou's voice was hard.
Nabiki's smile grew. "Clever Ukyou." she murmered. "The
point is, you don't have to worry about the money side
of things, I'll deal with that. You two just get us out
of here before anyone gets curious and finds out we're
here without visas."
"What's your fee for this service?" Ukyou lifted her chin.
Nabiki raised an eyebrow. "Nothing... if all goes well."
She walked away.
Ryoga made a rude noise. "Great, another 'favour' from
Nabiki."
"She's right though." said Ukyou. "We _have_ to leave here
as soon as possible."
"If we try to avoid people and race for the border we will
attract attention." said Ryoga. He thought for a moment.
"Our best bet is to take it slowly and _be_ tourists, we'll
worry about the border when we get top it."
"'_be_ tourists'?"
"Uh-huh." Ryoga grinned. "Hey, we're Japanese, walk around
with a camera, say 'aahhhh' alot and photograph _everything_.
We'll be just fine."
***
Mandalay:
"How... *gasp*... much... *huff*... further?" panted Suka.
Ranma patted him on the shoulder. "Don't worry, man. There's
just 726 steps more to go until we get to the top of the
hill."
"WH... *gasp*... AT???!!!"
"Miya, I think Suka fainted, although it's hard to tell
at this distance."
"I _told_ him going up the 1726 steps of Mandalay Hill with
four martial artists was a mistake, Godai."
***
"AAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!"
"Akane! Are you okay?!"
"I think she bit her tongue, Konatsu."
"Is Mikado driving, it's really bumpy!" cried Kiyone holding
onto the edge of her seat.
Mikado looked up from the floor. "I'm innocent!"
"Gomen, everyone!" Ryoga called. "It's just these damn
roads."
"Oh well then." said Nabiki. "I won't sue you."
Ukyou swallowed and tried to keep her breakfast down.
"N-n-next l-left..."
***
Rangoon:
"Please follow me!" Ukyou called loudly waving her green flag.
"Welcome to the Shwedagon Pagoda, it is the spiritual heart
and soul of Burma. At the top of this stairway is the golden
pagoda which is over five centuries old. It is covered with
gold and precious stones donated by royalty..."
"Aaaahhhh..." sighed the rest of the group.
*clickclickflashflashclickflash*
A Burmese man stared at the group and shook his head.
"<Tourists!>"
***
Ryoga smiled at the old woman. "Mingala ba. Sabai Phyu
resthouse beh mah lai?"*
***
"And turn left here," said Ukyou. "Alright, the border
should be..."
"<Halt the bus and prepare to pass through customs!>", the
highly armed border guard ordered as Ryoga abruptly hit
the brakes to avoid running over him.
"Around here somewhere... oops."
The guard made a gesture with his gun, "<Do not attempt to
flee or you will be shot!>"
"What did he say?" asked Akane.
"He said to stop and not run away," said Ukyou.
Ryoga was surprised. "I thought you couldn't speak Burmese?"
"I can't," said Ukyou. "But I do understand the universal
language of automatic weapons. What are we going to do??!!"
She wailed.
Ryoga thought fast. They'd hoped to sneak over the border
into Thailand, but obviously that was now out. They couldn't
just burst through the border - he was good, but not
bulletproof, and they didn't have any papers. This was not
good. Hmmm... time for something creative.
"Mikado! Take the wheel!" Ryoga headed up the stairs.
"Where are you _going_?!" demanded Ukyou.
"When the screaming and running starts, head for the border
as fast as you can," he called back over his shoulder.
Ukyou sweatdropped. "This is another one of his plans, isn't
it?"
"Hey, they work, don't knock em," said Suka. "Everyone sit
tight."
Ryoga hit the top floor of the bus and moved along to the
back window, which he opened. Closing his eyes he
thought back over his life. His mother going out to the
kitchen to bring in his sixth birthday cake... and
disappearing for eight months. His dad going out to get
the paper... and calling from a transatlantic flight.
All the times he'd fought Ranma and lost... All the times
Akane had said she could trust him and the guilt he'd
felt. All the times Ukyou had spatula'd him into the wall
for saying something stupid. He felt his ki surge at that
one. Hmmm... Ukyou gazing lovingly at Ranma... now he
was REALLY depressed.
Opening his eyes Ryoga aimed out the back window.
"SHI SHI HOKODAN!!!!!"
*FOOM!*
"<What the hell?>" the border guard looked on in horror
as a large section of forest was vaporised. "<It must be
bombs! NATO missed again! Everyone take cover!>"
Mikado and the others faked panic and sped towards
customs. They smashed through the wooden barriers and
headed into Thailand as quickly as possible.
"Geh... I think my heart stopped." said Ranma.
"Don't tell me that you didn't have faith in Ryoga after
all?" asked Ukyou.
"No, I thought NATO really HAD missed again. He's getting
too damn good at those shi shi hokodans."
Ukyou looked worriedly up the stairs, "He hasn't come
down yet. I'm going to go check on him."
Upstairs, Ryoga was slumped on the floor, drained after
the massive ki blast. *Urgh, that was more powerful than
I'd intended. I wonder if...*
"Ryoga!" Ukyou hurried to his side. "Are you okay? You're
not hurt?"
"Just tired," Ryoga said, attempting to get up. "Whoa."
The room spun around him. "Bad idea." he slumped back
down again. Ukyou looked concerned. "Just give me a
couple of minutes," Ryoga reassured her.
Ukyou nodded, turned away, and then hesitated. She turned
back. "Ryoga, I want to thank you for all this. You really
came through when we needed you." Then she turned and
went downstairs.
Ryoga smiled cheesily. "You're welcome!" he called after
her. *I really like her.*
***
Thailand:
"It is so HOT!" panted Godai, fanning himself. He pulled
at the collar of his shirt and wished that the girls were
elsewhere so that he could take it off.
"My mascara is melting!" wailed Konatsu.
"So is mine!" wailed Mikado.
"Oh gross," Konatsu looked disgusted.
Kiyone lay on the floor of the bus and dreamt of ice
planets.
Nabiki was still reading her South East Asia guide. "It
says here that it's always this hot at this time of year."
"Goodie," said Ranma sarcastically. Akane just moaned.
*BOOM!*
"Agh!" Everyone jumped, the bus listed.
"It's the border police! They've come for us!" screamed
Mikado.
"Oh shut up," Ryoga's disgusted voice carried back to the
others. "We've just blown a tyre."
"Is that bad?" asked Konatsu.
"Not really," Ryoga pulled the bus over. "Just means I
have to change it, and we have a couple of spares. Quite
frankly, I'm surprised we haven't lost one before now.
Especially with the Burmese roads." He stopped the bus.
"Everyone out while I set this up, it's quite a task."
"Need any help?" Ranma offered.
"I think I can manage," laughed Ryoga.
"Yeah, that's our Ryoga." said Ukyou. "Strong as a bull
and twice as thick. Able to leap tall buildings in a
single bound. Hell, he could probably _carry_ the bus
to Bangkok."
"Hmmm..."
"Don't even think about it Ryoga. I was just being nice
so that I can wriggle out of helping. Now fix the tyre."
She turned to the rest of the group. "While he's doing
that, why don't we go rest under that nice shady tree
over there and drink some of the iced drinks in the
fridge?"
"Great idea!" the group chorused.
***
Ryoga lifted the bus carefully in one hand and with the
other gently slotted the new tyre onto the axle. The
burst tyre lay beside him. Once the tyre was on, he
gently lowered the bus, and began to tighten the nuts
of the wheel. This task done, he headed for his reward.
"I can't believe this!" wailed Ukyou. "I _know_ I
packed a bottle opener."
The group stared at the bottles. They were ice cold,
and the liquid in them sloshed enticingly. So near...
and yet, so far. Attempts to open them by hand had
only resulted in very sore hands.
"Maybe we could break them?" suggested Suka.
"Then they'd get glass in the contents," Godai pointed
out.
The group stared at the drinks, truly now understanding
the nature of hell.
Ryoga wandered up to the group. "Tyres changed." he said.
"Oh great! I've been dreaming of these for the last eight
kilometres." he picked up one bottle.
"Uh Ryoga, we don't..."
Ryoga put the bottle in his mouth, hooked one of his
fangs over the edge and popped the lid off, spitting it
into his hand. Then he threw his head back and drained
the drink in one mighty draught.
"What the hell?" Everyone facefaulted.
"Ah, that was good." Ryoga said. "Can I have another
one Ucchan?"
"Sure Ryoga," Ukyou said, recovering. "But first I need
you to do us all a _little_ favour."
*Oh god*.
She handed him several bottles. "Start opening." she
ordered.
***
"Bangkok, at last!" cried Ukyou. "I thought we'd _never_
make it!"
"Yeah." Ryoga agreed. "The traffic around here is terrible!"
"Are we going to be staying in a hotel tonight?" Akane
asked plantively.
Ukyou turned and looked at her. "I'm sorry Akane-chan, I
know it's been rough sleeping on the bus." she grinned.
"But thanks to Ryoga's language skills and the map I
bought in Nakhon Sawan I've found a place for us."
"Great!" enthused Miya clapping her hands.
"Its called the Malaysia Hotel."
"Which way?" Ryoga demanded. "I'm hitting an intersection
here!"
"Oh." Ukyou glanced at her map. "Go left."
"Right."
She glared at him, he grinned as he turned left.
"Don't _do_ that to me!" Ukyou scolded.
Ryoga chuckled, it was fun to tease her sometimes.
"Oh wow." breathed Kiyone. "Look at those waterways!" she
pointed.
"We've been following this river, haven't we?" Godai asked
Nabiki.
"Uh-huh." Nabiki nodded. "My book said that Bangkok is called
the Venice of the East and the people use the waterways for
all sorts of things like living, selling and so on."
"There are some houses on stilts!" Konatsu cooed. "How
kawaii!"
"I hope we can go and explore there." said Suka.
Ranma shuddered at the idea of exploring a shopping area
created on water, he didn't think Ryoga would be that keen
on it either.
"Okay, here's the hotel." annouced Ukyou.
Ryoga pulled into the driveway. "I told them we'd be here
at about 5.30pm and it's just past that now."
"Great!" Ukyou dimpled at him. "See, I told you that we had
to allow the extra time in case you got lost and I was
right."
"It wasn't _my_ fault." protested Ryoga. "You got distracted
and didn't tell me which way to go!"
Ukyou laughed. "Oh come on, you drove into a barn! You
could've figured out that was wrong!"
"Hn!" Ryoga opened the bus doors and he and Ukyou left to
speak to the hotel manager.
"I hope we have some time here." said Konatsu. "I always
thought that Bangkok sounded exotic, ever since I heard
that song."
Nabiki raised an eyebrow. "Yes, I could imagine you'd like
some of the things in Bangkok."
"I've heard that Bangkok has really cool nightclubs." said
Miya. "I'd love to see that!"
"Well, let's suggest it to Ryoga and Ukyou." said Akane.
Ranma grinned. "Hey, that gives me an idea."
"Oh no." groaned Akane.
"It's a _good_ idea!" protested Ranma. "It's all part of
my 'Lets get Ryoga and Ukyou together' plan."
"Ranma, don't meddle." said Akane. "I'm sure they're doing
fine without us."
Nabiki leaned forward. "On the contrary, Akane dear, I
believe Ranma's plan has merit." *Now this is a chance to
really have fun!* "If Ukyou looks like a sexy goddess at
a nightclub don't you think Ryoga will just crumble?"
"It won't be much good if he doesn't look good as well."
Kiyone said.
"True."
Akane, Ranma, Nabiki, Kiyone, Suka and Miya huddled together
making plans. Godai listened in with interest. Konatsu
started to sniffle *Oh Ukyou-sama. my love!*. Mikado's eyes
glazed over as he thought about Ukyou in... well, let's
just leave _his_ fantasies!
"Okay!" Ukyou sprang back onto the bus. The conspirators
jerked upright and fled back to their seats with slightly
guilty expressions.
"Uh... what's up?" she asked.
"Nothing, Ucchan!" Ranma grinned. "So, is everything okay?"
"Hai." she said. "Let's go inside."
Everyone filed off. Ukyou watched them go a suspicious
frown on her face. *What are they up to now?*
***
To be continued.
*Hello. Which way to Sabai Phyu Resthouse?
From: Jessica <jaelle@ihug.co.nz>
Subject: [Ranma][FanFic] Magical Mystery Hibiki Tour #13
The Magical Mystery Hibiki Tour
By Jaelle and Orla
***
The characters in this story are the property of Rumiko
Takahashi-sama. We prostrate ourselves at her feet and beg her
forgiveness for our temerity in using these characters. We're
not worthy! We're not worthy!
The other characters are copyright to Yukie Nasu and Pioneer
LDC.
C & C is welcome (although we don't like flames!). You can
contact us at either: ladyorla@yahoo.com or jaelle@ihug.co.nz
For more of our fanfiction visit our site 'Insane Musings'at:
http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~jaelle/Jaelle_Orla.htm
***
This story occurs four years after Ranma 1/2 volume 38.
***
Part 13
Bangkok
"One night in Bangkok and the world's your oyster," sang
Konatsu happily as the group wandered through the Grand
Palace. Mikado and some of the others joined in as they
wandered the hallways.
"Why are we here?" asked Ranma. "It's boring."
"It's cultural."
"Huh?"
"Educational," said Akane.
"That's what I said, boring."
"Grrr.... Oh look... the area where the priests
purified themselves, by dousing themselves with water!"
"What... Akane NO!!!"
*SPLASH*
"Oh good, we need another soprano," said Konatsu. "One
night in..."
***
After leaving the palace Ryoga took the lead and
successfully discovered Patpong. Since he had been aiming
for an entirely different district this was not such a
good thing.
"Still, at least it's better than Burma." said Ukyou.
"What does this sign say Ryoga?"
Nabiki inspected the illustration on the other side of
the sign. "I thought that was illegal."
Ryoga blushed.
"It's a drag, it's a bore, it's really such a pity, to
be looking at the store, not looking at the city..."
sang Konatsu. "So where are we anyway?"
"Er... this is the, er... red light district."
There was dead silence. Even Konatsu stopped singing.
Temporarily.
"I get my kicks above the waistline, sunshine..."
"And how," Ranma purred, "do you know that, P-chan?"
Ryoga went bright red. "Uhh... uhhhh..."
"You realise that _any_ answer you give will automatically
be wrong," Miya added.
"In that case, I'll just stick with 'Uhhh...'" said Ryoga.
"That would explain why this place is virtually deserted,"
Godai observed. "It must fill up at night."
"Ecchi!"
"How come _you_ know so much about night parlours Godai?"
"Uhhh...."
"Look! This place has massages!" Ukyou said. "I'd _love_
to have a massage! And it says 'Full body', sounds good!"
Ryoga grimaced. "Not... a good idea Ukyou. When they say
full body they mean the _masseuse's_ full body."
"How would they... oh." Ukyou pulled her finger away from
the sign. "I think I should take the lead from here. This
way!" she led the way. As the group followed her, Ranma,
Mikado, Suka and Godai converged on Ryoga.
"_Full_ body? And you know this because...?"
"Uhhhh..."
***
"Bangkok, oriental city where the city don't know what
the..."
"Konatsu, I'm warning you... if you sing that song ONE
MORE TIME..."
***
That evening:
"So, what are our plans for the evening?" Ryoga asked.
"I don't have any," said Ukyou.
"We do!" chorused the rest of the group. Ukyou and Ryoga
stared at them. Nabiki grinned. "We want to go to a
nightclub - a specific nightclub."
"It's called the Palace, at Viphavadi Rangsit Hwy." said
Godai, managing to get the name out properly. (He'd been
carefully coached by Akane and Nabiki).
"A nightclub?" Ryoga raised his eyebrows. "Have fun!"
"But RYOGA, you HAVE to come." Akane pleaded. (Ranma had
told her, 'Ryoga will do it for you'. 'Why?' 'Trust me,
he'll do it for you.')
"Oh, uh, well, okay. But I don't have anything to wear!"
"We took that into account, come with us." with that, Suka
and Godai dragged him off. Ryoga complained all the way.
Ukyou watched him go. "Well," she said. "As long as you
get him back early so he can rest for tomorrow..."
"_You_ could do that Ukyou," Ranma said. "Then you could
both walk back here _together_."
"But... I don't have anything to wear!" Ukyou grasped at
the first excuse to come to mind.
"Yes you do," Nabiki reminded her with silken malice. "The
silver dress."
"I'M NOT WEARING THAT IN PUBLIC??!!!" Ukyou was shocked.
"What's the point of buying it then?" Kiyone asked. "If
you got it, flaunt it."
"But... but..."
"Got no choice, we're gonna make you wear it."
"Mikado, stop dribbling."
***
"I feel really stupid," complained Ryoga. "Why couldn't
we go with the girls?" He fiddled with his hair again. It
felt odd without the bandanna, but Godai had gotten away
with all of them while he'd been having his hair cut and
was too busy worrying about the proximity of the scissors
to his ears. (Yes, he has no bandannas...)
"You look GREAT!" Suka said. "Doesn't he Ranma?"
"Hn," Ranma grunted. He was beginning to think this was a
bad idea after all. Ryoga looked better than he did.
"Look, there it is!" said Godai. "Let's go in and meet
the girls!"
***
"I feel cold," said Ukyou.
"You'll warm up on the dance floor," Kiyone assured her.
"Dance? I'm afraid to WALK in this thing. Not to mention
these heels. Are you sure I'm modestly covered."
"Modestly? No. But you are covered," Nabiki assured her.
"Just."
"I personally don't know how you're keeping that thing
up," said Akane.
"Oh, it's martial arts anything goes keeping your dress
up technique," said Ukyou. "It's a breathing technique."
"Oh yeah." said Konatsu, uncharacteristically.
Miya, keeping watch at the doors, gave Nabiki the signal.
"Ukyou, why don't you go wait at the top of the stairs?"
Nabiki suggested. "We'll be up in just a minute, but you
need more time to get settled."
Ukyou nodded. "That's true." She brought her hand up to
brush her fringe away.
"Don't touch your face!" everyone screamed.
"*sigh*" Ukyou dropped her hand away and everyone sighed.
The glitter gel had been the hardest to apply.
Ukyou started up the stairs.
***
The boys entered the nightclub. The music was quite low
at this point of the evening, to let people relax into the
groove, so they had no difficulty hearing the girls.
"Heya!" said Ranma. "Where's Ukyou?"
"Oh, we thought we'd get a table upstairs and drink so she
went up to save us one, but now we've changed our minds,
let's dance first!" said Akane. "Ryoga, could you go and
get Ukyou for us?"
"Okay," Ryoga headed for the stairs, rolling his shoulders
uncomfortably. "Dammit Ranma, couldn't you at least have
found me a t-shirt that fit?"
"I told you man, that was the only size they had!" Ranma
grinned at him.
"It's two sizes too small!" Ryoga complained as he walked
away.
"It certainly is!" said Kiyone, following him with her
eyes. "What?" she said, as everyone turned to look at her.
"He looks great, you guys did a good job with him,"
said Miya.
"Well, he's no Mitsuru or Shinobu, but he cleans up okay,"
said Suka.
"I still think we should have made him wear the temporary
tattoo," said Mikado.
"So what about Ukyou?" Suka continued, ignoring Sanzenin.
"Oh, you'll be surprised." grinned Akane.
***
Ukyou checked her ring watch. "Taking them long enough,"
she grumbled. "I bet Ryoga got lost. I'll go see what's
happening." she started down the stairs.
***
Ryoga got to the bottom of the stairs and looked up.
In the background, music started playing. Ukyou was
halfway down the stairs and his jaw dropped as she seemed
to float towards him.
"The sky isn't always blue,
A sun doesn't always shine,
It's alright to fall apart, sometimes..."
Ukyou was almost luminous as she floated down the stairs.
She was a vision in a silver spaghetti strap dress. The
bodice was low-cut, and high waisted. Ryoga's eyes
travelled down the short distance to the bottom of the
skirt where it ended at her upper thighs.
"I am not always you,
And you are not always mine,
It's alright to fall apart, sometimes..."
*I think I'm dying*, he thought.
Ukyou looked up from the stairs as she neared the bottom
step and stopped at the sight of the handsome young man
transfixed by her appearance. He was tall, and VERY
muscular, wearing a tight white t-shirt and black satin
jeans. Tight black satin jeans we might add. Her eyes
ran back up to his face and she took in the hair that
neatly framed his face, and the blue pendant earring
in his left ear.
"After all is said and done,
One and one, still is one,
When we cry, when we laugh,
I am half, you are half."
*Oh my god, it's Ryoga!*
Ryoga couldn't take his eyes off her. She stood in
front of him.
"Hi." she said.
"H..." was all he managed. "Hi."
Ukyou moved forward, Ryoga moved back. In this manner they
advanced onto the dancefloor. Ukyou smiled. "Do you want
to dance?"
*Is this right?* Ryoga asked the spirits. In answer, the
song began the next verse and they began to dance.
"The heart isn't always true,
And I am not always fine,
We all have an angry heart, sometimes...
After all is said and done,
One and one, still is one,
When we cry, when we laugh,
I am half, you are half.
Look how far we have come,
One and one, still is..."
Ukyou moved to the beat, a dreamy smile on her face, her
eys half closed. Ryoga, stiff at first, began to move with
her. She spun around him, the flashing lights of the club
caught the glitter on her face and he gasped.
"One moon (One moon), One star (One star)
I love the one we are
One thrill (one thrill), one life (one life)
Let's stand still in time
A neon light spotlighted them. Ukyou's dress lit up in
brilliant ulta-violet. Ryoga reached out. *This is a dream,
I can't touch her.* Then his fingers met hers and he clasped
her hand gently. Ukyou smiled at him. *I never realised. But
he's... so handsome... and his smile, I... I want this
moment to last.* Ryoga just had one thought: *Ukyou*
"One moon (One moon), One star (One star)
I love the one we are
One thrill (one thrill), one light (one light)
That runs through a life
Ryoga was hit by a sudden profound realisation. *I'm... in
love... with... Ukyou.* He pulled her closer, all his usual
hang-ups and insecurities disappearing. Ukyou came to him
with a little sigh. He put his other arm around her, the
other hand he used to hold her hand to his chest. They moved
in perfect unison.
"After all is said and done,
One and one, still is one,
When we cry, when we laugh,
I am half, you are half."
Ryoga stopped and Ukyou stopped with him. He leaned closer.
She tilted her head and her lips parted slightly.
Look how far we have come,
One and one, still is one"
Ryoga's heart pounded as he moved in to kiss Ukyou.
Then the music stopped.
"Whooo hoooo!!!" Ranma's voice rang across the silent
dance floor. "Look at the lovebirds!"
"Ranma no baka!" snarled Akane as the moment was destroyed.
Ukyou's eyes snapped open and she let out a squeak of
shock as she realised her position. "Oh... let go of me,
Ryoga!" she cried, her face was red with embarrassment.
She pulled away from him and put both hands to her hot
face.
Ryoga stood dumbly, his heart desolate. "Ucchan... " he
murmured.
Ukyou glared at him. "Who gave you the right to call me
that?" she snapped, then she turned on her heel and stalked
away.
Kiyone and Miya exchanged glances and followed her, Akane
was too busy pounding Ranma into the floor. Suka went up
to Ryoga.
"Uhhh... Ryoga?"
Suddenly the dance floor was lit by a very bright green light.
Unfortunately it was not from the club lights.
"Oh sh*t!" yelled Ranma from behind a table where he was
hiding. "He's going to... "
"SHI... SHI...
HOKODAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
*BOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!!!!!*
***
"And last night Bangkok's most popular nightclub, The Palace
was destroyed by terrorists using highly sophisticated
weaponry. Police as yet have no leads, but suspect an
international gang that have already struck twice in Burma."
Kiyone turned off the English language news. "Well... that
plan failed dismally."
"One might almost say catastrophically." Nabiki observed.
"At least they don't know who was responsible," said Miya.
"Still, I think it would be prudent to leave Thailand as soon
as possible, don't you agree Ukyou?" The group turned to
observe Ukyou.
"Totally," she said frostily. "Ryoga won't be able to drive
for a while with all his injuries, so Mikado, GET MOVING!"
"Yes ma'am!" Mikado fled. Ukyou rubbed her hand over the
edge of her spatula, rage still simmering at Ryoga for
both destroying the nightclub and for somehow causing her
to lose her mind there.
***
In the upper part of the bus, Ryoga lay curled into a ball.
The injuries weren't bad, although he'd rarely had worse.
What was painful was the terrible hole in the centre of
his chest where Ukyou had ripped his beating heart out
and stomped on it. *I don't care if she does hate me.
Ukyou Kuonji - I love you! I don't know why, but I do.
And nothing you do or say can make me stop!*
***
Song Credits:
One Night in Bangkok - Chess Soundtrack
One and One - Robert Miles, _Dreamland_.
***
From: Jessica <jaelle@ihug.co.nz>
Subject: [Ranma][FanFic] Magical Mystery Hibiki Tour #14
***
The Magical Mystery Hibiki Tour
By Jaelle and Orla
***
The characters in this story are the property of Rumiko
Takahashi-sama. We prostrate ourselves at her feet and beg her
forgiveness for our temerity in using these characters. We're
not worthy! We're not worthy!
The other characters are copyright to Yukie Nasu and Pioneer
LDC.
C & C is welcome (although we don't like flames!). You can
contact us at either: ladyorla@yahoo.com or jaelle@ihug.co.nz
For more of our fanfiction visit our site 'Insane Musings'at:
http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~jaelle/Jaelle_Orla.htm
***
This story occurs four years after Ranma 1/2 volume 38.
***
Part 14
***
China: Zhangzhou.
"<They were _here_?>" Shampoo clasped her hands together
hardly daring to believe what she was hearing was true.
The camp owner nodded. "<Just as you described, Miss. A
large tour bus driven by a young man wearing a yellow and
black bandanna stayed here about...> " he frowned, then
shrugged. "<Well, a few nights ago.>"
"<You don't remember when?>"
"<Sorry, no. I get so many people here. Although they
were the first ones to knock down four trees.>"
Shampoo beamed. Finally! She was on the right track. After
days and days of hopeless searching and waiting she had
picked up a clue to the Tour's whereabouts - and it wasn't
in somewhere like Arabia! She thanked the camp owner and
left the grounds.
"<They must be in Hong Kong by now.>" she said to herself.
"<I will find them there and claim my airen!>"
Full of hope and smiles Shampoo bounced happily down the
road. Until... a passing car zoomed past her and splashed
her with some muddy water.
"Mirrrrroooowwww!!!!!"
***
Hong Kong
Mousse put down the phone and sighed. He wandered over to
his apartment window and stared moodily out at the view.
*That was the last idea I had for their whereabouts.* he
thought. *No one's seen any sign of the bus in Hong Kong
or the surrounding area.*
"Mu Shu?" a pretty young woman popped her head around the
door. "<I've finished. Do you want to have a look?>"
He turned and smiled at her. "<Sure, Michelle, I'll be
right there.>"
"<Is there anything else I can do?>" Michelle smiled
hopefully, her dark eyes bright.
"<Uh... no, thanks. Just leave the speech on my desk and
take the rest of the afternoon off.>"
Michelle looked a bit disappointed but she departed. Mousse
wandered into his study and picked up the speech. However,
his press conference was not on his mind at the moment.
*Where did you guys go? Are you somewhere in Australia by
now?*
***
Japan: Narita International Airport
"This is the last of the luggage, Tamura. Get in in ASAP!"
Kobayashi made a check on his pad. "Otherwise this baby
won't reach Hong Kong on schedule."
Tamura made a slight face as he looked at the mountain
before him. "Great." he picked up the first suitcase. With
a smooth gesture Tamura put the suitcase onto the plane
with all the delicacy and finesse of airport luggage crew
around the world.
As the suitcase tumbled into the depths of the cargo hold
a sharp sound came from it:
"OWWWW!!!"
***
Malaysia
Ukyou stared idly out of the window as the bus sped through
Butterworth. After some coaching from Ryoga, Mikado's driving
had rapidly improved. His ribs would heal eventually. *This
is SOOOOO much better,* thought Ukyou. *AND I don't have to
smack him over the head when I want him to go the right way.
Yup, this is the best. Definitely. I don't miss Ryoga's
driving at all.* Lost in her thoughts, she didn't even
notice as she began to sing.
"Tell me that you love me, tell me that I am pretty
I can become much more gentle with a single word
In my loving spirit, in my deep feeling spirit
I want you to believe honestly, no matter when."
Down the back of the bus, Ryoga felt like he was about to
have a heart attack, there simply didn't seem to be
enough room in his chest for the emotions that broke upon
him as he listened to Ukyou's song.
*Why, damn it?* he thought. *Why do I always have to fall
in love like this? Why can't I love someone who loves me
back? Why... WHY????!!!!*
"Er... Ryoga, you're glowing again." Kiyone told him. "Don't
make me use this." she brandished her glass of water.
*Kiyone!!!!!* "Kiyone!" Ryoga sat down opposite her. "I need
your advice."
"ME?!!! Why ME??!!!"
"It's about this girl I like, no, this girl my FRIEND
likes..."
Kiyone groaned mentally. *It's going to be one of THOSE. Not
again! Still, at least there's only ONE suitor this time.*
"You see," said Ryoga, pressing his index fingers together,
"For years he thought he was in love with this girl, but he
had this deep dark secret that he could never tell her
because she'd hate him for it, and so he suffered in silence,
plagued by many MANY demons, but especially by her awful
HORRIBLE hentai fiance..."
*Let's make it really hard to guess, shall we?* Kiyone
thought wryly.
"Anyway... so he's been trying to tell her how he feels,
so he went off with a... friend, of his to try and get
her love, but now he realises..."
"That you're in love with Ukyou and not Akane, yes Ryoga,
I got it." said Kiyone.
Ryoga stared at her. "How did you know??!!" *Wow, she's
so intelligent!*
Kiyone tried not to wince, *Wow, he's almost as stupid
as Ryoko and Ayeka*. "Ryoga..." she sighed and rubbed
her forehead. *Why do they always come to ME for love
advice? I don't have a love life! I have ENOUGH problems*.
"Ryoga," she said calmly. "I think it's fairly obvious
that you love Ukyou. The question is, what are you going
to do about it?"
"That's it, I don't know!!!" wailed Ryoga.
"Shhhh, keep your voice down." Kiyone said.
"But... Ukyou's still in love with Ranma." said Ryoga.
"No, Ukyou _thinks_ she's still in love with Ranma,"
said Kiyone. "Did you see her face when she came down the
stairs at the nightclub?"
"Yeah..." said Ryoga dreamily.
"Pay attention Ryoga!" Kiyone snapped. "My point is,
she likes you back."
Ryoga was surprised. "She does?"
Kiyone nodded. "I'm positive of it." *And I should know*.
"B-but..." Ryoga flushed. "That can't be right. Why would
Ukyou like _me_? I'm not very bright, I keep breaking
things, I have NO sense of direction, and..." his voice
lowered even further. "I turn into a _pig_."
"Those are pretty shallow reasons not to like anyone,"
said Kiyone. "And besides, Ukyou knows all of these
things and she still likes you."
"Really? No way," Ryoga shook his head. "She thinks Ranma's
WAY cooler than me..."
"Ryoga! Stop that!" Kiyone snapped. "You've got to stop
letting her walk all over you! Be a man! Stop moping! And
SMILE more often!!!!!"
"Smile?"
"You have such a cute smile Ryoga-chan," said Kiyone.
"But you're always so gloomy that noone ever notices it.
Now, try looking at your problems in a positive light:
You're sensitive, you're strong, you... see interesting
places... and, uh... you're a very... pretty... pig."
Ryoga looked unconvinced. "But she's always yelling!"
"Oh for goodness sake. You're a man aren't you? Now
ACT like one."
Ryoga looked amazed. "Ukyou said that to me once."
Kiyone looked exasperated. "Well then, why don't you
do what she WANTS?" *Dimwit*.
"I will, thanks Kiyone-chan." Ryoga gave her a fangy
smile.
"You're most welcome Ryoga-chan." Kiyone replied. *I
really am kinda good at this, maybe I should get a job
as a lonely-hearts columnist. I wonder what that pays...*
***
Kuala Lumpur
"Wow." said Suka gazing out of the window. "Kuala Lumpur
is so much easier to get around compared to Bangkok."
"Mmmm." Miya looked up from Nabiki's book which she has
grabbed from Ukyou. "It says here that Bangkok has the
worst traffic problem in South East Asia."
"I can believe it." said Godai. "Four hours we were stuck!
And Ukyou spent the whole time acting like a explosive on a
very short fuse!"
"Very scary." murmered Suka.
Miya put the book down and sighed. "I hope she forgives Ryoga
soon. He looks so sad and she, well, I saw her looking very
unhappy the other evening."
"Yeah." Suka looked glum. "I just don't get them at all."
"Call it a Nerima affliction." said Nabiki sitting down
beside Godai. "Most of the gang from that area are always
in foolish love quadrangles."
Godai made a face. "Believe me, Nabiki, love quadrangles
are not restricted to Nerima!"
***
"Was the YMCA the only place you could get?" Akane asked
Ukyou as she regarded the Hostel.
Ukyou looked uncomfortable. "Well... they were the only
people who spoke a language I understood well."
"Why didn't you ask Ryoga, Ucchan?" Ranma asked.
Ukyou flushed. "I can managed just _fine_ without that
directionless baka!" she growled.
"I thought this was a partnership." murmered Nabiki behind
her.
Ukyou fixed Nabiki with a firey glare. "You just love to
meddle don't you!"
Nabiki laughed. Ukyou clenched her fists, but before
anything could happen a man came out and bowed to the
group.
"Selamat petang." he said.
"Huh?" Ukyou blinked.
"Selamat petang." said a voice beside her, it was Ryoga.
"Sila masuk." the man indicated the entrance.
Ryoga smiled. "Terima leasih." he said. Then he looked
down hesitantly at Ukyou. "He... uh... wants us to come
in."
Ukyou drew herself up and answered Ryoga cooly. "I realise
that Hibiki." She turned to the group. "Everyone inside."
Ryoga watched her march off and sighed in despair. *I have
no hope... * Then he felt a hand on his shoulder, it was
Suka.
"Hang in there." Suka winked. "Sometimes you just have to
persist."
***
Inside the hostel dining room Konatsu emptied the contents
of his cosmetic bag on the table and shifted through the
contents. *Damn, not here, and I've looked everywhere!* He
sniffed. "My _expensive_ mascara."
"Try this one." offered Nabiki handing him a pale
peach-coloured, bulging, cosmetics bag.
Konatsu was touched. "Nabiki-san, arigato!"
"Whatever." Nabiki shrugged. "It's not mine."
Konatsu paused for a moment. "Maybe I shouldn't... " he
unzipped the bag and his eyes lit upon some mascara. "But
this is the same brand!" he picked it up. "I will beg pardon
later, I'm sure whoever owns this won't mind me using a
little." Skillfully he applied the black mascara, then he
carefully wiped and replaced the wand. "I wonder who..."
Konatsu exaimined the bag. "ah... a name."
Konatsu read the name and frowned. "Mi-ka-do Sa-n-ze-ni-n... ?
MIKADO?!!" he shrieked. "Yuck! _Yuck_!"
Nabiki chuckled. At least some people were still providing
entertainment. She looked over at Ranma and Akane who were
sitting with Ukyou. *Hmmm... looks like Ukyou's still in
Ice Queen mode.* Nabiki scanned the room. *And no sign of
Ryoga, those two are such fools.* She smiled. *I'll have
to start planning what I want to do with the restaurant at
this rate.*
***
Ryoga thought frantically. *Okay... act like a man, act
like a man... think manly! Do something manly.* His mind
raced. *Hmmm... throw her over my shoulder and carry her
off? No, already did that and she hated it. Umm... beat
up someone who insulted her... no, did THAT already and
I never want her to know what that guy was saying, or
what _I_ was saying... Umm... Insult her? No no no. Sing?
Did that. Dress sexy and impress her with my dancing
abilities? Did THAT. Oh no... here she comes...*
"Ryoga, get the luggage out of the bus!" Ukyou ordered.
*Uhhh....*
"Say please."
Silence descended on the group.
"WHAT did you say?" Ukyou couldn't believe her ears.
"Say 'please'," Ryoga repeated. "I'm not your personal
slave, I'm your business partner, so you have to say
'please' when you ask me to do something."
Ukyou fumed. *How DARE he??? And on top of everything
else!!!!* "Do as I say!!!"
"Do it yourself." Ryoga started to walk away.
The group stared at him in fascinated horror.
Ukyou stared after him. He WOULDN'T!!! He COULDN'T!!!
He WAS!!!
"Ryoga!" her voice cracked like a whip. He stopped and
turned back casually. "Yes, Kuonji-san?"
Ukyou flinched. "Ryoga...kun... _please_ unload the bus."
"Why _certainly_ Ukyou-san, I'd be delighted to." Ryoga
brushed past her on the way to the bus and she turned to
stare after him.
Kiyone secretly grinned, "That's one for his side."
"No fair screwing with the odds Kiyone," Nabiki murmured.
Kiyone winked at her.
***
Ukyou flicked through Nabiki's travel book and tried to
concentrate on finding 'fun' things for everything to
do the next day. But Ryoga's actions earlier that evening
kept intruding on her thoughts. Finally she slammed down
and glared into space.
*Damn him!* she thought. *What does he think he's doing?
Acting like that.*
*But doesn't he deserve some respect?* A little voice
whispered in her mind. *Aren't you overreacting just a
little too much?*
Ukyou licked her lips. *But... but...*
*But what? I think you've been angry enough, its time to
forgive him.*
Ukyou sighed. *I guess so.* she thought crossly. She picked
up the book again. *Right, lets see...*
***
"This is KL Tower." annouced Ukyou. "Its the third highest
telecommunications tower in the world and we are very lucky
that it's such a nice day because the view at the top will be
incredible!"
Suka blanched. "Its high..." he murmered.
Miya squeezed his arm. "Are you scared?" she teased.
"Uh... no, not at all."
Ukyou turned to Ryoga, her attitude was one of calm,
collected professionalism. "Ryoga-kun, could you help me
get the tickets? I don't think they speak Japanese and my
English isn't that great."
Ryoga nodded. "Certainly, Ukyou-san." he replied. *Well, at
least she is being polite to me, thats a start right?*
They set off towards the ticket booth.
Konatsu sighed. Kiyone shot him a worried look, "Are you
okay?" she asked.
Konatsu sniffed. "I'm feeling very confused, Kiyone-san.
Part of me is happy that Ukyou-sama is being so cold to
Ryoga-san, but another part of me is unhappy." he said.
Kiyone patted his shoulder. "This must be rough on you."
"I really want her to be happy." said Konatsu. "But I'd
rather she was happy with _me_."
"I know _exactly_ how you feel." said Godai who had
overheard the conversation.
Konatsu sighed again. Kiyone nudged him. "Come on, lets
go. Unless you want to go with Mikado!"
Konatsu groaned. "Nooooo!!!" He grabbed both Kiyone and
Godai and dragged them off at top speed.
***
"No. No. Nonononononno and no times one thousand!"
"Stop being such a baby, Ranma!" Akane pulled her fiance's
arm. "I want to go."
"_You_ go. I'll admire the orchids." Ranma clung to the
tree with his arms and legs.
"You don't _like_ flowers! Do you know what an orchid is?"
"A flower?"
"ARRRRGGHHH!!!" Akane took a mallet out of nowhere and pounded
Ranma until he dropped off the tree, then she grabbed his
pigtail and dragged him. "We are going roller skating!"
At the rink Mikado spun in front of Konatsu and then posed.
"I am undefeated in this arena fair Konatsu. Will you join
me?"
Konatsu smiled sweetly. "Sure." he said. "But please don't
laugh. I am so bad." he pushed himself off the railing and
sped towards the centre of the rink.
"Careful!" Mikado skated after him.
Konatsu halted and turned. "Mikado-chan... " he smiled even
more sweetly. "Was the move you just did something like this?"
he executed a perfect spin and then started skating rings
around Mikado.
"Huh?"
Ukyou laughed as she watched her faithful employee totally
confusing Mikado. "Little does Mikado know that I taught
Konatsu how to skate and he's a natural." she said to Miya.
"Well, he's very good." Miya glanced over her shoulder. "Come
_on_ Suka! How long does it take you and Godai to put on
skates?"
Suka sweatdropped. "Uhhh... well... you see."
The two women looked at each other and sighed. "They can't
skate." they said in unison.
Ukyou looked around the rink and saw Akane pushing a wildly
protesting Ranma onto the rink. *Poor Ranchan, I guess he'll
never learn!* Kiyone and Nabiki were drinking coffee at a
cafe by the rink, and Ryoga...
"Ittaiiiii!!!!" yelped Ryoga for the umpteenth time as he
landed on his face. *This is soooo embarrassing. Why did I
let Kiyone talk me into this?* he cast a resentful look at
her. *She's not out here! Is this supposed to make me look
manly? I feel like a fool. Please kami, don't let Ukyou see
me, I'd just... *
"Ryoga?"
*My life is over.* Ryoga looked up into Ukyou's face. Her
expression was neutral. "H-hi... having fun?" he asked
weakly.
Ukyou tilted her head. "Yes, I am. But you look like you
could use a hand." she held hers out. "Come on."
*Huh?* Ryoga stared dumbly at her.
Ukyou smiled. "Hey, lets say truce, ne?" she giggled. "I
need you to make this tour a success."
Ryoga smiled back at her. Okay, so it wasn't _exactly_
what he wanted, but it was a start. He took her hands and
she helped him to his feet.
"Ukyou, about... about Bangkok..." he began.
She shook her head. "Don't say anything, it was a crazy
night." she shrugged. "I wasn't... myself."
*Oh.* Ryoga felt slightly deflated, but his spirits picked
up at her next words.
"What some help in learning to skate, sugar?"
"H-hai..."
***
"<It's a bargain, Miss. You won't find anything cheaper
here.>" the vendor at Petaling Street said firmly.
Kiyone's eyes narrowed, she reached out and snagged Ryoga.
"Hey, Ryoga-kun. I think this guy is charging me too much,
can you help me out?"
"Sure." Ryoga said. He turned to the vendor and fired off
a rapid speech in Malay.
Ukyou stood and watched the exchange, the vendor was nearly
jumping up and down in outrage, but Ryoga remained firm. She
smiled faintly. Who would have guessed back in Nerima that
Ryoga Hibiki was a hard bargainer? Then again, who would've
thought that Mousse could be a Hong Kong movie star and an
idol singer? Life was full of little twists and turns.
"Ucchan!" Ranma tapped her on the shoulder.
She turned and smiled at him. "Wow. You've got alot of
stuff there, Ranchan."
"Too much." growled Akane appearing next to them. "He just
kept buying."
"Hey, they just kept shoving things at me." said Ranma.
"And they all looked so cool."
Ukyou peered at the junk Ranma was carrying. "What are you
going to do with a gilt-plated birdcage?"
Ranma stared at the birdcage. "How did _that_ get there?"
Ryoga, having successfully bargained down Kiyone's scarf,
strolled over to them. "What's that pile of junk?"
Ranma looked offended. "There's some good stuff here!" he
protested. "Look." he pulled out a smart silk jacket.
Ryoga looked at it. "How much did you pay for it?"
Ranma named a sum and Ryoga promptly laughed. "Oh man!
You've been had! It's worth only a third of that!"
Akane fumed. "I told you!" she yelled at Ranma. "You are
such a moron!"
Ranma who had been looking glum, glared at her. "I didn't
see you complaining when I got you those earrings!"
Ukyou rolled her eyes. *Oh boy, here we go again.* she saw
Ryoga looking at the bickering couple with a resigned
expression, then he felt her eyes on him and looked at her.
Ukyou gave him a welcoming smile, the last vestiges of her
anger draining away. "Shall we leave them to it?"
Ryoga heard the welcome in her voice and his heart lept.
"S-sure." he said. "I could... um... help you get a real
bargain on some jewellery."
Ukyou nodded. "I'd like that, Ryoga. Ooki ni!"
***
Singapore
"<Please disembark from your vehicle and present your
passports.>" said the Customs Official at Singapore
Customs to Ryoga.
"<Certainly.>" Ryoga turned to everyone else. "Okay,
give me your passports and then we'll be on our way."
"Don't we have to have visas?" asked Akane.
"Not here, as long as we're only staying for a short
while, all we need are stamps on the passports."
"I'll get them." offered Ukyou, she got up and collected
the passports and brought them to Ryoga. "Do you want me
to come with you?" she asked Ryoga.
"Might be an idea." Ryoga laughed. "I'd hate to get shot
for going the wrong way!"
Ukyou grinned. *Why doesn't he laugh more often? He's so...*
she blinked and pulled her thoughts to order. "Okay then,
everyone sit tight, this won't take long."
She and Ryoga got out of the bus.
"At least they're getting along." said Miya.
Ranma nodded. "Yup and with my new plan..." he began.
*CRUNCH!!!*
Everyone applauded as Akane malleted Ranma. "Baka!" she
said. "Are you taking tips from your Dad? Stop meddling!
That's what messed them up in the first place."
Ranma slid off the seat with a groan. "Kawaiikune..."
Ukyou and Ryoga re-entered.
"Everythings in in order." Ukyou announced. "Uh... what
happened to Ranma?"
Ryoga couldn't help grinning maliciously. "I'll bet he
got struck by his usual affliction."
"The foot in mouth disease." stated Akane. "He's doomed to
suffer it all his life I believe."
Ukyou nodded. "Poor Ranchan... forever cursed, in two ways."
"I'm still here you know." said Ranma.
Ukyou looked down at him and realised something. Her heart
wasn't doing flip-flops... strange. Something to be analysed
later, she turned away and sat by Ryoga.
"Take us into Singapore, Ryoga-honey."
"At your command!" he smiled at her, mock-saluted and
started the engine.
As the bus drove away, Ukyou put one hand to her chest. Her
heart was doing flip-flops.
***
To be contined
***
Selamat petang = Good evening
Sila masuk = Please come in
Terima leasih = Thank you
Song Credits:
Suki to Itte (Say You Love Me) - Sailor Moon.
From: Jessica <jaelle@ihug.co.nz>
Subject: [Ranma][FanFic] Magical Mystery Hibiki Tour #15
Newsgroups: rec.arts.anime.creative
Followup-To: rec.arts.anime.fandom
Organization: The Internet Group Ltd
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
X-Mailer: Mozilla 4.04 [en] (Win95; I)
The Magical Mystery Hibiki Tour
By Jaelle and Orla
***
The characters in this story are the property of Rumiko
Takahashi-sama. We prostrate ourselves at her feet and beg her
forgiveness for our temerity in using these characters. We're
not worthy! We're not worthy!
The other characters are copyright to Yukie Nasu and Pioneer
LDC.
C & C is welcome (although we don't like flames!). You can
contact us at either: ladyorla@yahoo.com or jaelle@ihug.co.nz
For more of our fanfiction visit our site 'Insane Musings'at:
http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~jaelle/Jaelle_Orla.htm
***
This story occurs four years after Ranma 1/2 volume 38.
***
Part 15
***
Singapore:
"Welcome to Singapore!" said Ukyou, her newly acquired earrings
sparkling in the daylight. "Please make yourselves comfortable
in the hotel, or else venture out into the streets - there is
more shopping..."
"NOOOOO...." moaned Ranma, Akane absently backhanded him.
Suka ducked as Ranma flew over his head towards the back of
the bus. "Where are you going?" he asked.
"Ryoga and I are going to go and organise transport BACK to
Hong Kong where we should have been all this time," said
Ukyou. "And to contact Mousse and explain."
"You want RYOGA to organise the _travel arrangements_?"
asked Mikado. "I don't think that's a good idea."
"Do YOU speak English or Mandarin fluently Mikado?" asked
Ukyou.
"Well uh, no."
"Then we're stuck with Ryoga," said Ukyou.
*Oh thank you very much,* Ryoga thought. *Hmph!*
The bus unloaded and emptied. Ukyou waved everyone into
the hotel and then waited for Ryoga to disembark.
"You know, the jokes about my sense of direction are
getting a little old, don't you think Ukyou?" Ryoga asked.
"Ukyou? Ukyou!"
"Over here Ryoga," Ukyou yelled from across the road. "What
were you saying?"
"... Never mind."
***
"Hello... Mousse! How's it going?" Ryoga winced and held
the phone away from his ear. Loud Chinese words came
spitting out. "Man, I didn't know Mousse knew THAT kind
of language."
Ukyou raised an eyebrow. Ryoga blushed, then jammed the
receiver back against his ear. "Hey Mousse, knock it off
man. <Shut up you loud-mouthed idiot! I'm trying to talk
here. What do you mean Ryoga-who???!!!>"
Ukyou watched in admiration as Ryoga vented in Chinese.
*It's so cool that he can speak all these languages,*
she thought fondly. *And extremely useful!* She frowned.
*I still want to know what he was doing for Nabiki when
we were in Burma. All he would say is that it was a
translation job and that she was picking up the tab for
the next couple of days. Hmmm... hope he didn't sell
himself into slavery or anything*. She then blushed as
images of Ryoga in chains and black leather filled
her mind. *Ecchi! Oh man, you know it's bad when you
start fantasising about RYOGA!*
Ryoga ended the call. "<He's going to meet us in...>"
he began, and then stopped. "Sorry, sometimes it's hard
to remember to switch back."
Ukyou grinned at him. For some reason she was quite
flushed. "I'm just impressed with your fluency Ryoga-kun.
I'm beginning to wonder if there are any end to your
lingual talents."
Ryoga laughed. "Oh there are a couple. I was never very
good at Klingon. Nuq nek de pol!"
"What?" Ukyou sweatdropped.
"Some weird guys in America decided to teach it to me.
Nice guys, but _strange_, and this is from someone who's
hung around with Ranma and co. for several years.
Nice outfits, but the pointy ears were a little odd."
Ryoga paused. "I've never been to Klingon, I wonder
what it's like there."
"You, don't watch much TV do you Ryoga?" Ukyou asked.
"Nah," said Ryoga, absently breaking the phone
receiver his hand was resting on. "It's too violent."
***
The arrangements made, Ukyou and Ryoga made their way
back to the group, who unanimously voted for an outing
before dinner. And so it was that Ukyou led them to the
Singapore Botanic Gardens. Whilst others made their
way to the lake and surrounding areas, Ryoga decided
to stay by the bus. 52 hectares was just a little too
much garden for a man who got lost in his own backyard.
Ukyou walked with Akane and Ranma for a while until
she couldn't stand the incessant bickering any longer.
*Funny,* she thought. *I always used to LIKE the fact
that they argued. I guess you can get tired of the
same old insults. Hmmm... wonder if I can get Ryoga
to teach me to swear in Chinese. Heh, wouldn't THAT
be a surprise for Shampoo!!! Speaking of Ryoga...*
her thoughts trailed off and she sighed. Ukyou looked
up at the branches of the tree that towered above
her.
"Okay, we've called a truce, and he hasn't been as
bad lately... maybe it's time we went back to...
friends..." *It was odd to think of Ryoga as a
friend,* Ukyou thought. She was more used to thinking
of him as an ally, or a dogsbody. "Or rather,
pigsbody," she giggled. "Ah but... without him, this
trip would have been a complete disaster..." she
made a face. "In fact, in retrospect, I'm damn lucky
to have had him along. And... maybe I should lay off
him a little. Or maybe... tell him how well he's
doing! Yeah! That's it, a little positive
encouragement!"
Cheered by this thought, Ukyou set off to find the
lost boy.
***
Ukyou found Ryoga sitting on the steps of the bus looking
out at the setting sun. The others were all scattered,
exploring the gardens and she was glad of their absense.
"K-konbanwa Ryoga-kun." she said hesitantly.
"Konbanwa Ucchan." he said absently.
Ukyou flushed slightly at his use of her nickname,
forgetting how she had told him not to use it.
"I need to tell you something." she said standing
before him.
He got up. "Hai?"
Ukyou fiddled with a strand of her hair, mentally
reviewing the little speech she had thought up an
hour ago. "I have a confession to make... " she
took a deep breath. "When we first started this
trip I still thought of you as the hopeless,
constantly-lost, idiot I met four years ago."
Ryoga smiled tightly. "Yeah, that was fairly obvious."
"Yes, but on this tour I've come to see you in a new
way. I've met the people you helped and seen you handle
a crisis calmly. Ryoga, you have skills and abilities I
never imagined you possessed!" Ukyou paused and looked
directly in his eyes, she took a deep breath, preparing
to make her apology.
Ryoga stared at her, he was drowning in her huge eyes
and his heart was pounding, the blood throbbing in his
ears.
"And after Bangkok I was mean to you, I was snappy and
insulting and I'm sorry for it. I want you to know that
I... " Ukyou thought about her next words *I respect and
admire you* She opened her mouth. "I... love you."
Dead silence.
Ryoga swallowed. *Did she just say what I think she
said?*
Ukyou froze. *Did I just say what I think I said?*
Ryoga stepped towards her, one hand moved forward.
"Ukyou... ?"
"Kamisama!" Ukyou covered her now bright-red face
in her hands, pushed past him and ran inside the bus.
Ryoga stood completely still for five minutes, his
hand outstretched, his expression astonished and
befuddled. Then he slowly turned around and looked
at the entrance to the bus. "Ukyou? UKYOU!!" he cried
and rushed inside.
In the kitchen Ukyou was wiping a plate in a agitated
fashion, shattered remains of other plates at her feet
bore testimony to her frantic state of mind. Ryoga
approached her.
"Ucchan." he said softly. "What you said... back there,
did you... did you mean it?"
She didn't look at him for a moment, then she whirled
to face him and laughed.
This was not the reaction Ryoga had expected.
"Oh, Ryoga! Really! How could you think I meant _that_!"
Ukyou shrugged. "I guess I'm just tired, I don't know
what I'm saying."
He blinked. "But... "
Embarrassment spurred Ukyou's mouth on before her brain
could catch up with the words. "I couldn't love _you_. I
mean you're a good friend, very strong and all, but you
have that directional problem and the Jusenkyo curse. No,
no, love is definately out of the question!"
"Nani?"
Anger took over the embarassment and Ukyou threw the plate
she had in her hands at his head. "Get out!!! I don't want
to see you or speak to you!!!"
The plate shattered against Ryoga's head, he blinked. Then
his eyes widened and his face contorted with anger. "That's
it!!" he growled. "I'll go! And to think that I thought I
could feel something for you!!" He turned on his heel and
walked stiffly out of the kitchen.
Ukyou watched him leave. "Good." she muttered sitting down
at the kitchen bench. "I'm glad he's gone, I... " His final
words suddenly hit her brain. "He felt... WAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!"
She put her head in her hands and bawled.
"Uhh... Ukyou?" a soft voice penetrated her howls.
Ukyou looked up, sniffing, eyes streaming and saw Miya standing
beside her. She gulped down her sobs and attempted to pull
herself together.
"M... Miya *sniff* How can I help you? *sniff*"
Miya looked embarrassed. "I couldn't help overhearing your...
conversation with Ryoga."
"Oh *sniff*"
Mia sat down beside her and politely turned her head away
as Ukyou blew her nose.
"It sounds like you've had a bit of a miscommunication."
Ukyou managed a watery smile. "That's an understatement."
she choked and blew her nose again. "I'm such a fool."
"At least you've admitted it quite quickly." said Miya. "It
took me a lot longer."
"Wha... what do you mean?" Ukyou asked thickly.
Miya looked her in the eyes. "It took me a long time to
acknowledge that I loved Suka and that by trying to keep
things as they were, by doing what made my Mother and Tenma
happy (Tenma was sort-of my boyfriend) which was making me
miserable I was being a complete idiot." she sighed. "And
all through that awful time, Suka kept trying no matter
how embarrassing it was for him. He kept calling and
waiting... real dedication."
Ukyou gulped. "Are you saying that's what I should do?"
she shook her head. "No, but I love Ranma!"
Miya stared at her. "Ranma? But he's engaged to Akane."
The tears began to fall down Ukyou's cheeks again. "You will
think I'm awful, but the whole reason for this tour was to
break up Ranma and Akane. Ryoga has been in love with Akane
for ages and I... I'm engaged, was engaged to Ranchan."
Miya thought for a moment, then she nodded. "I don't think
you awful at all, Ukyou, but I do think that both you and
Ryoga were living in dreamland! After all if Ranma and Akane
haven't broken up with all the fights they have, well,
I don't think they ever will."
"P-probably not." sniffled Ukyou.
"Besides, if Ranma isn't fated to be with you who would you
rather he be with? Shampoo, that Kodachi girl everyone gets
chills talking about, or Akane?"
"A-akane."
"And who should Ryoga be with?"
"Me." said Ukyou without thinking, then she blushed. "Oh."
"I rest my case." said Miya. She put her hand on Ukyou's
shoulder. "Go and get him."
"I can't!" cried Ukyou. "After all the things I said! He
must hate me now."
"You have to try." insisted Miya. "There is always a chance
if you try."
Ukyou stood up and wiped the rest of her tears away.
"Yes, yes I will."
Miya smiled as she watched Ukyou march out of the kitchen.
***
Ryoga sat on a bench overlooking the lake. The sunset was
casting beautiful colours over the view before him, but he
was in no mood to appreciate it. *That's it, I'm through
with love, it just hurts too much.* He sighed and wondered
if the park officials would object too much if he Shishi
Hokodaned the lake. Probably.
"Hey, Ryoga."
Ryoga looked up to see Godai approaching. "Hello, Godai."
he said *And go away, I want to be _alone_ right now.*
Godai saw the desolute expression on Ryoga's face, he knew
that expression well, usually he was wearing it.
"What happened between you and Ukyou _this_ time." he asked.
Ryoga flinched. "Nothing."
"Suuurrre." drawled Godai. "That's way you're stuck out here
with a glum face."
Ryoga considered stalking away, but instead he said: "I
have the worst luck when it comes to love."
Godai raised an eyebrow. "Really?"
"It seems that all the girls I fall in love with love...
someone else. I just can't take it anymore!"
Godai nodded. "Your rival is Ranma right?" he asked.
Ryoga nodded.
"Well, my rival is a ghost!"
"Huh?"
"Kyoko, that's the girl I love, married Soichiro fresh out
of High School and six months later he was dead! She has this
image of the perfect man, they were still in love, she hadn't
learnt his faults. I have to compete with an idol, at least
you can fight your rival!"
Ryoga blinked. "Yes, well, I see that your situation sucks."
Godai patted Ryoga's shoulder. "Just think about it okay?
Don't give up. If you do, what message does it send to people
like me?" he winked and walked away.
Ryoga sat there for a moment, then his head jerked up and
he rose in one fluid movement. *I'll fight!* he thought. *I'll
fight for this one forever!* Then his body froze as he caught
sight of Ukyou standing underneath a lantern.
She was regarding him nervously, one hand toying with her
hair as she stood wide-eyed.
Ryoga walked slowly towards her, it almost felt like he was
advancing on an easily spooked deer.
"Ukyou?"
She licked her lips. "R-Ryoga."
He noticed the tremor in her voice and saw the marks of tears
on her cheeks. "I..." he stretched out one hand.
"Gomenasai," they said simultaneously. They stared at each
other.
"Oh..." Ukyou cried, her tone halfway between laughter and
a sob. "Oh Ryoga!" she reached out and grabbed his hand.
"I'm so sorry... about what I said, I'm sorry, I'm really
sorry, I never meant... I don't want.... I'm sorry!" she
squeezed his hand, her pleading eyes looking deeply into
his.
Ryoga swallowed, "It's alright," he squeezed her hand
gently.
"Do you hate me?" she burst out.
He gazed at her in shock, "Never!" Ryoga blurted. "I could
never hate you!"
Ukyou laughed tremulously. "Oh good! I wouldn't blame you
if you did though," she added. "I was so... ah!"
Ryoga pressed his fingers to her lips, cutting off her
nervous outpourings.
Ukyou closed her eyes. The pressure of his fingers on her
lips made her heart pound almost painfully. *How could I
have missed these signs? Was I so blind?* She opened her
eyes as he took his hand away.
"So what do we do now?" Ryoga asked.
"You're asking me?" Ukyou stepped closer to him, still
holding his hand. "I have no idea!"
Ryoga wondered if the proper procedure would be to get
down on his knees and swear undying love. Or maybe kiss
her? The latter option was more desirable - however
unmannered. The former option more restrained and noble.
Ukyou meanwhile wondered what she should be doing.
Perhaps embracing him? That sounded nice. She reached up
with her free hand and touched his cheek.
Ryoga shivered a little at her touch, and reconsidered
his options. *Screw noble.* "Ukyou..."
Suddenly hands shoved Ukyou from behind, pushing her into
Ryoga, whilst he was treated similarly. They crashed
together, noses bumping and mouths touching...
Ukyou gasped and pulled back. Then she swung round at
super speed and grabbed the shirt of her attacker.
"Ranchan??!!!"
Ryoga, equally mortified, looked back and saw Akane behind
him. She was looking very embarrassed.
"I knew this was a bad idea," she murmured.
Ranma wriggled out of Ukyou's grasp. "Heya Ucchan!"
"What... did you think you were DOING???!!!" Ukyou cried,
her face red.
"Gomen Ukyou, Ryoga," Akane stepped into Ukyou's line of
sight. "He thought... well, you see..."
"You guys were taking too long, we were getting pins and
needles waiting in those bushes!" said Ranma.
A horrible thought struck Ukyou, and she looked in the
direction of Ranma's vague wave, where she saw the rest
of the tour group straggling out from behind some
bushes. Nabiki had a smirk on her face, whilst Kiyone
looked sheepish. Miya, Suka and Godai looked thoroughly
embarrassed, Mikado was unconcious and Konatsu was in
tears.
"Ranma..." Ryoga growled. "You..."
"Hey, I was doing you a favour!" said Ranma. "Didn't you
WANT to kiss her?"
"In public?" Ryoga was mortified. He advanced on Ranma.
Ukyou grabbed his arm.
"No," she said.
He looked at her. "You're defending him?" he asked in a
hurt tone.
"For now," said Ukyou. "I don't want you to fight my best
friend." She looked into Ryoga's eyes. "Besides, we have
to talk."
"T-talk?"
"Yes, about us and what we're going to do." Ukyou's voice
was soft, so that noone could hear her.
Ryoga covered her hand with his own. "Okay." he said. "But
just this time."
"Oh I agree," said Ukyou with a glint in her eye. "NEXT
time you can pound him all you like and I promise I won't
interfere... unless it looks like you're losing."
Ryoga scowled at this implication and Ranma gulped at
the thought of taking on both Ukyou and Ryoga. Oh well,
Akane would help him out wouldn't she? He looked down at
her, she glared daggers at him.
*Uh oh.*
Ryoga and Ukyou smiled at each other.
Kiyone watched and grinned, *Good, very good.*
"WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!" Konatsu lept to his feet and
raced onto the bus. Ukyou bit her lip. "Poor Konatsu,"
she said. "I know EXACTLY how he feels! I'll talk to
him."
"Right," said Ryoga. "_We'll_ have our talk later. In
private," he added, glaring at the rest of the group.
"Right!" said Ukyou, leaping onto the bus after
Konatsu. Ryoga watched her go with a smile and then
turned back to the group.
"By the way, what happened to Mikado?"
***
Ukyou raced up to the top floor after Konatsu, and found him
sobbing into a pink handkerchief.
"Konatsu..." she started.
Konatsu sniffed. Ukyou sighed and martialled her
thoughts. Below her she could hear the rest of the group
settling in, and then the bus pulling away. Nabiki could
be heard giving Ryoga directions to the airport.
Ukyou sat down next to Konatsu.
"Konatsu," she started again. "I'm sorry."
Konatsu sobbed. "I know, that just makes it even worse!"
Ukyou rubbed her forehead. "Unfortunately, it's about the
only thing I _can_ say," she admitted. "And the truth is,
I'm NOT sorry. I l-l-l... care about Ryoga very much."
"You're in love with him," sniffed Konatsu.
"Yeah, that thing." Ukyou was still uncomfortable with
her newly developed feelings. "But I am sorry that you
got hurt. _Believe_ me, I know what you're going through."
Konatsu wiped his eyes. "I know you do," his voice was
low. "Just tell me one thing, did I ever have a chance?"
Ukyou hesitated.
"Did I?"
"No," she admitted. Konatsu smiled, "Thought not." he
said with another sniff. Then he turned to her and
smiled. "But I always hoped. Hope springs a turtle,
right?"
"I think that's hope springs eternal, but yeah, you're
right." agreed Ukyou.
Konatsu nodded. "I'll be okay Ukyou. We'll still be
friends won't we?"
"Of course!"
"And I can still work at Ucchans?"
"Of course!" said Ukyou. "If there still IS an Ucchans
to go back to after all this is over, I want you to
be head wait... person."
Konatsu smiled. "I'm the ONLY wait-person."
"Well, I'm thinking of expanding." said Ukyou. "And
you'll get a pay rise."
"Great!"
"Just a small one though." Ukyou cautioned.
Konatsu laughed. "That's my Ucchan!" he chortled. A
tear trickled down his cheek.
"Ummm..."
Konatsu waved her off. "There's nothing else you can do.
I'll just have to get over it. I'd like to be alone for
a while." Ukyou nodded in understanding. She started
back down the stairs, then paused.
"Hey Konatsu, at least you've still got Mikado to kick
around."
Konatsu groaned, "Ucchan, please DON'T try to cheer me
up!"
***
to be continued
From: Jessica <jaelle@ihug.co.nz>
Subject: [Ranma][FanFic] Magical Mystery Hibiki Tour #16
The Magical Mystery Hibiki Tour
By Jaelle and Orla
***
The characters in this story are the property of Rumiko
Takahashi-sama. We prostrate ourselves at her feet and beg her
forgiveness for our temerity in using these characters. We're
not worthy! We're not worthy!
The other characters are copyright to Yukie Nasu and Pioneer
LDC.
C & C is welcome (although we don't like flames!). You can
contact us at either: ladyorla@yahoo.com or jaelle@ihug.co.nz
For more of our fanfiction visit our site 'Insane Musings'at:
http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~jaelle/Jaelle_Orla.htm
***
This story occurs four years after Ranma 1/2 volume 38.
***
Part 16
***
"I can't believe it, Hong Kong." said Kiyone.
"Yeah, it's such an amazing place. But you know the weirdest
thing?" asked Nabiki.
"No, what?"
"I keep getting this strange sense of deja vu, like I've
been here before." said Nabiki.
"Oh wow, you too?" Miya twisted in her seat to talk to
them. "I thought it was just me!"
"Okay okay, I get it! I'm sorry we got lost in South
East Asia!" yelled Ryoga from the drivers seat. "But we're
back now, okay?"
Suka and Godai muffled laughs and concentrated on their
poker hand. Ranma sulked darkly in the corner, he'd been
politely dealt out of all subsequent hands when his debt
had reached twenty three trillion dollars. Akane grinned
at the others and then turned back to trying to coax
Ranma into playing snap with her. Mikado snored in the
back seat, head lolling back over the seat, whilst Konatsu
idly used him for target practice, aiming raisins at his
open mouth from the front of the bus. So far the score was
floor eighteen, Konatsu zero. He drew back his arm for
another throw and nearly hit Ukyou, who was standing behind
him.
"Gomen nasai!" he said.
"S'okay," said Ukyou. "Try aiming for a higher arc."
Konatsu tried again and the raisin lodged itself up
Mikado's nose. Ryoga, who had been keeping an eye on the
fun from the rear view mirror, snorted in amusement as
Mikado leapt up and fell over, choking and trying not to
do anything embarrassing.
Ukyou grinned and everyone pretended not to notice the
strange sounds emitting from the back of the bus.
Eventually, Mikado emerged red-faced and glared at the
rest of the bus.
"Who did that?"
Konatsu looked up from his demure seat in the middle
of the bus. "Did what Mikado-san?" he asked innocently,
sewing another stitch in his embroidery.
"Ah... never mind." Mikado growled. "Are we there yet?"
"We should see Mousse any minute." said Ukyou. "He said
he'd meet us around... there he is!"
Ryoga pulled the bus over to the curb as Mousse sprinted
over to it. "Quick! DRIVE!" he yelled as he scrambled
aboard. "They're after me!!!"
"What?"
Ryoga's eyes widened as he took in the horde of screaming
young women running towards the bus. "Shimata!" he threw
the bus into reverse and backed down the street at high
speed, then spun around the corner with the wheels on
one side in the air.
*Agh,* thought Godai. *And I thought _Kyoko_ was a lousy
driver!*
Ukyou watched to make sure they were no longer followed,
then turned to Mousse, who was lying on the floor, still
sweating in fear.
"What was THAT all about?" she demanded.
"My film..." said Mousse. "It was very successful."
"HOW successful?" Nabiki inquired.
Mousse shrugged. "I don't know, my boss started talking
about some guy called Oscar."
Everyone sweatdropped.
"Hmmm... who does your merchandising?" Nabiki asked.
"Not NOW Nabiki," said Akane. "Is this sort of thing
going to happen a lot?"
Mousse looked helpless. And frantic. "I don't KNOW!
Ukyou-san! You've GOT to get me out of Kowloon."
"We can't do that," said Ukyou. "You're not in the
tour!"
"I'll pay!"
"How much?"
Mousse dragged out a chequebook and scribbled on the
top cheque, then ripped it out and gave it to Ukyou,
who examined it and pursed her lips. "Welcome aboard
Mu Shu-san. Do you have any luggage I can carry for you?"
Mousse shook his head and headed for one of the seats.
"Ohhhh..." he landed in it with a groan of relief. "I
haven't done so much running since my Nerima days."
"You're just getting soft," Ranma needled. "So, what's
the plan Ucchan?"
"Well, we were _supposed_ to be staying in the hostel
again."
"I've got it, in return for taking me on the tour, _I_
will find you accomodation... on Hong Kong Island!"
Mousse proclaimed.
"Wow Mousse, that's so generous of you!" said Nabiki.
"Why if I weren't married..."
Everyone sweatdropped.
"... I'd definitely consider letting you take me out
to dinner." Nabiki finished.
Everybody facefaulted.
"Uh... thanks," said Mousse, fishing a mobile phone out
of his pocket. "I'll just make the arrangements. Head for
Hong Kong Island ferry Ryoga."
"Not more boats!" Godai moaned.
"Hello, Grand Hyatt hotel?"
***
"Whoa..." Ukyou's jaw dropped.
"Now _this_ is a hotel." Ryoga's voice was awed.
Ukyou pulled herself together. "Mousse, we can't possibly
afford this." she said sternly.
Mousse grinned. "Don't worry, I'm covering." He walked
through the glass doors that were held open by two smiling
doormen.
Ukyou warred with herself. One part of her was dying to
luxuriate in this super-plush hotel, the other part was
extremely reluctant to accept what seemed like charity.
As the group entered the front lobby, luxury won. Ukyou
touched Mousse's arm.
"Thanks, Mousse." she smiled. "This is fantastic."
Mousse looked a little embarrassed. "Well... it's the
least I can do." he shrugged. "Besides, I have to do
something with all this money I have."
"I believe this is my cue." Nabiki appeared beside Mousse.
"Let me talk to you about investments..."
Ukyou's eyes narrowed. "I don't think so Nabiki." she said.
Mousse laughed. "Nabiki, this may come as a shock, but I
really don't care about money. Now excuse me while I get
the keys for your rooms."
Nabiki raised an eyebrow. "Well, _he's_ no fun." she turned
to Ukyou. "So have you and Ryoga had your little chat yet?"
she asked with a smirk.
Ukyou was thrown by this sudden switch in topics. "Uh...
well..." she stuttered. "That is... we..."
"In other words, no."
"Er... yes." Ukyou looked a little frustrated. "It's just
with everything else..."
"No time?" Nabiki nodded, then she patted Ukyou's shoulder.
"Don't worry, I have just the thing to get you both started."
Ukyou shot her a suspicious glance. "What do you mean?"
Nabiki just laughed and walked away. Ukyou groaned mentally,
*Great, just great. Why can't people stop interfering with
us?*
***
Shampoo stood at the top of Nathan Road and glared down its
sparkling length. She was dirty, her hair was a mess and she
was very, very unhappy.
*<They'd better be here.>* she thought, *<Otherwise I'm going
to go mad!>*
Some people obviously already considered Shampoo over the edge,
pedestrians (and a few cars) were giving the faintly glowing
young woman a wide berth.
Shampoo walked down Nathan Road and scanned the area for the
Tour bus. Nothing. Then her eyes hit a large billboard.
*<That guy looks familiar... looks like... nah, no way.>*
Shampoo shook her head and continued her trek through Kowloon's
'Golden Mile'.
***
"Mmmmm... luxury!" Miya slouched comfortably on the couch in
one of the hotel's sitting rooms. Suka smiled down at her.
"Is there room for one more?" he asked hopefully.
Miya wrinkled her nose. "Nah. My couch."
"Oh."
She giggled. "I'm kidding, silly. Sit down!"
Suka settled down next to her and put his arm around her.
"Enjoying yourself?" he asked.
"I am now." Miya squeezed his hand and smiled.
Ryoga watched the couple from his position on the window
seat and sighed. He hadn't seen Ukyou since dinner, she'd
been busy doing accounts and other things. He knew it was
important that she make sure everything was running smoothly,
but he had hoped that tonight they could have sat down and
had their long overdue 'talk'. He yawned.
"Hey, Ryoga." Mikado came up to him.
Ryoga hastily shut his mouth. "What?" he asked.
Mikado sat down beside him. "Konatsu just told me that Ukyou
is in love with you." he said.
Ryoga stiffened. "Well... we... I..."
"I just wanted to say," Mikado continued blithely. "That
I will take a kiss from Ukyou Kuonji before this Tour is
over, perhaps I'll take more."
"You do that..." said Ryoga in a soft, yet deadly voice.
"And no one will be able to find enough of your remains for
a decent burial!"
Mikado raised an eyebrow. "That's a rather extreme reaction
to my decision." he looked determined. "I will kiss the lips
of the fair Ukyou Kuonji, nothing will stop me."
Ryoga snarled. "That's all you think about, isn't it! Kissing
girls. What about _how_ they feel?!"
"Why they are honoured, of course."
Ryoga stood up and stalked away. *I've got to get out of here
before I _kill_ this moron! And I swear I will eviserate him
if he lays one finger on Ukyou!*
Mikado shook his head. "Strange man." he murmered.
Godai, Kiyone and Konatsu who had overheard (Kiyone had had a
tight grip on a glass of water, just in case) shook their
heads.
"Moron." said Konatsu.
"Does he have a death wish?" wondered Godai.
"No," said Kiyone. "He's just stupid."
At this point Ukyou came in, she paused in the doorway and
looked around. Not seeing Ryoga she walked up to Ranma and
Akane who were seated at one of the card tables playing
snap.
"Hi, guys." she greeted them.
"Hi, Ukyou." said Akane cheerily. Ranma grunted, he did not
look happy.
Ukyou blinked. "Don't tell me you're losing at _snap_,
Ranchan."
"He's just terrible at all card games I guess." said Akane.
Ranma shoved the cards away. "Whatever." he growled. "What
did you want, Ucchan?"
Ukyou blushed faintly. "Have either of you seen, Ryoga?"
Akane looked around the sitting room. "He was here, I guess
he went to bed."
"It's only 9 o'clock!" Ukyou looked a little exasperated.
"I wanted to speak to him."
"Perhaps I can help, Ukyou." Nabiki spoke from her seat
where she was reading some investment magazines.
Ukyou went over to her. "Oh?" she asked warily.
Nabiki bent and picked up a package that was by her feet.
"Here." she held out the package.
Ukyou looked at the package with suspicion. She couldn't
tell what was in the purple paper bag. "What is it?"
"Something to get you and Ryoga talking about your
relationship." Nabiki said reassuringly. "But don't open
it until you are both together in private."
Ukyou took the bag. "Uh huh. Well, I'll corner him in the
morning and..."
"Why not now?" Nabiki asked. "He's probably alone in his
room, and if I know Ryoga, he's probably depressed. Why don't
you go and cheer him up?"
Ukyou went red. "I can't just go into a man's room _alone_!"
she whispered in shock.
Nabiki rolled her eyes. "Sometimes you are _such_ a
traditionalist!" she groaned. "Stop being such a stick-in-
the-mud and act like a woman. If you want him, you're going
to have to grab him. Ryoga's changed alot, that's true, but
he's still a little shy."
Ukyou gripped the package. "Perhaps." she said. She got up.
"I'll think about what you said, Nabiki."
"Oh. I do hope so." purred Nabiki.
Ukyou walked out of the sitting room. Akane came over to
her sister. "What are you doing?" she asked.
Nabiki shrugged. "Angst makes my teeth ache." she said as
she picked up another magazine. "I'm just trying to give
them a subtle kick in the rear."
Akane frowned. "You never did that for me and Ranma." she
pointed out.
"You two were fun, you weren't as serious as Ukyou and
Ryoga."
Akane spluttered for a bit, then laughed. "You are too bad
oneechan!"
"Yes, I know." Nabiki murmured.
***
Ukyou hesitated outside Ryoga's door. *Maybe he's asleep,
maybe he's in the shower, maybe he's not in... oh god,
he left on his own, maybe he's LOST!* "RYOGA!!!!" she
banged on the door. "You better be in there!!!"
No answer.
"Baka. Baka. BAKABAKABAKABAKA!!!" Ukyou felt a little
better, but somewhat depressed. Downhearted, she headed
for her own room. Without really paying much attention
she opened her door, closed it, and then leant against
it apathetically.
*Damn it. Oh well. Guess I better go to bed. Got a lot
to do tomorrow... Damn!*
Movement.
Ukyou froze. *I don't believe it, there's someone in
my bathroom!* She wondered if she had enough time to
get to her spatula by the bed when Ryoga wandered
out of the bathroom.
Ryoga was confused (so what else is new?), "I think I'm
in the wrong room!" he said. "Where am I?" He turned
around. "Ukyou!" Then he took in the spatula by the
bed. "Oops." *Of all the hotel rooms in all the world,
I had to walk into hers!*
Ukyou stared at him. *Well, now there's a sign from
the kami if ever I saw one.* "Ryoga, sit down."
"Ahhh... I'm sorry! This was an accident I never meant
to... forgive me!" Ryoga considered prostrating himself
on the floor.
"Oh stop it," said Ukyou. "I want to talk to you."
A look of horror plastered itself across his face. "What
did I do? Whatever I broke I'm sorry!"
"No I want to talk about US!!!"
"Oh," said Ryoga. "Okay." he looked around for a place to
sit down. There was only the bed. "Ummm..."
"It's not going to bite you," Ukyou was beginning to get
exasperated. "Now SIT!"
Ryoga sat.
Ukyou stood in front of him.
"Right, when we... when you... when I..." she stuck. Her
cheeks flushed. She suddenly had second thoughts about
this whole thing. "I... uh..." she fiddled with the paper
bag that Nabiki had given her. "Uhhh... ummm..." the
bag ripped.
A small pot of chocolate mousse, two spoons and a brush
fell onto the carpet. Ukyou and Ryoga stared at these
items.
Ryoga went bright red. *She can't want me to... I'm not
ready!* he thought in panic.
Ukyou stared. *What the heck is the brush for? I don't
get it.* "I thought this was supposed to help us sort
things out!"
Ryoga felt his blood pressure skyrocket. "Isn't that
rather drastic?" he squeaked.
Ukyou looked at him. "What's wrong with you, it's
perfectly natural." She picked up the pot and opened it.
She stuck a finger in and then licked the mousse off.
"Mmmmmmm... good!"
The world blurred out of focus for Ryoga. "Give it here,"
he said hoarsely. He grabbed for it and it slipped out
of Ukyou's hands. On its way back to the floor, it
spilled onto his shirt.
"Oh no!" Ukyou shouted. "That's going to stain! You've
got to get that shirt off." she grabbed his shirt.
Ryoga grabbed his shirt. "No, no, NO!!!! I'm too young!"
"What are you talking about? Do you want me to splash
cold water on you or something? If we don't act immediately
you'll never get the stains out. Now LET GO!!!!"
There was a brief struggle. Ukyou triumphed. "There! Now
we... now we... weeeee.... aiyaiyai..." she stared at
Ryoga's slightly chocolate mousse spotted chest and
suddenly realised that she was very close to him.
"Aaahhh..."
Ryoga concentrated on his mantra, drawing all his inner
strength to concentrate on it. *I will act noble, I will
not take advantage of this situation... I will not get a
nosebleed... Ohmmmm...*
"You've got chocolate mousse on you sugar..." Ukyou watched
her hand move towards his chest as though it belonged to
someone else. *Damn that hussy that's trying to do that to
Ryoga! Oh wait... that's me... oh well.*
It really was very good chocolate mousse. But Ukyou was
right and they never did manage to get the stains out of
Ryoga's shirt.
***
***
to be continued
From: Jessica <jaelle@ihug.co.nz>
Subject: [Ranma][FanFic] Magical Mystery Hibiki Tour #17
The Magical Mystery Hibiki Tour
By Jaelle and Orla
***
The characters in this story are the property of Rumiko
Takahashi-sama. We prostrate ourselves at her feet and beg her
forgiveness for our temerity in using these characters. We're
not worthy! We're not worthy!
The other characters are copyright to Yukie Nasu and Pioneer
LDC.
C & C is welcome (although we don't like flames!). You can
contact us at either: ladyorla@yahoo.com or jaelle@ihug.co.nz
For more of our fanfiction visit our site 'Insane Musings'at:
http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~jaelle/Jaelle_Orla.htm
***
This story occurs four years after Ranma 1/2 volume 38.
***
Part 17
***
The Morning After:
Ukyou blinked and slowly opened her eyes. Sunlight was
filtering through the curtains, some of it reaching to
touch Ukyou's face. Yawning, she peered at the bedside
clock.
"Hmmm... only 8am, but still, time to rise!" She stretched
and her hand hit a shoulder that was not hers. "Wha... ?"
For a moment Ukyou's sleep-fogged mind was confused, then
a smile spread over her face as she remembered.
"Ryoga-chan!" she laughed and rolled over to face him.
He was asleep, breathing softly and deeply. She smiled
sweetly and brushed a lock of hair out of his eyes.
"Ryoga-chan, it's morning, wake up."
He continued to sleep.
Ukyou stroked his cheek. "A heavy sleeper, ne?" She teased
and kissed his forehead.
No response.
She kissed his nose.
Still no response.
She kissed his lips.
He remained comatose.
Ukyou sat up, a slight frown on her face. "Oh come on! Wake
up!"
She shook him, poked him and eventually whacked him on
the head with a pillow. Ryoga continued to sleep soundly.
Ukyou was feeling aggrieved.
"Ryoga-kun!" she yelled in his ear. He rolled away from her
and continued to sleep.
Ukyou fumed, she grabbed the nearest heavy object avaliable
to her - the alarm clock.
CRASH!
The alarm clock smashed into bits around Ryoga's head
without disturbing him in the slightest.
"BAKA!!" yelled Ukyou, she booted him out of the bed. Ryoga
landed on the sheepskin rug with a thump and a slight mutter,
but didn't wake. Growling, Ukyou scrambled out of bed, pulled
on her yukata, grabbed her spatula and nudged him with the
edge. "If you don't wake up I'm going to hit you awake with
this!" she threatened.
Ryoga slept on.
Ukyou brought her spatula down on his head. "Get UP!!!"
*rap-rap*
Ukyou whirled in surprise at the gentle knock on the door.
She put down the spatula and went to the door. She called
through it quietly. "Er... yes?"
Nabiki's voice filtered through, she sounded highly amused.
"Ukyou-chan, while I appreciate that you want to make some
noise, could you try to keep it down? Some of us are trying
to sleep in."
Ukyou blushed. "I-it's not what you think... I... we... that
is, Ryoga... "
"I don't need to know the details." said Nabiki. "Just enjoy
yourselves, quietly."
Ukyou leaned against the door, listening to Nabiki's
footsteps fade, and thought murderous thoughts about her and
Ryoga. Then a loud yawn drew her attention to the formally
comatose Hibiki.
Ryoga was on his feet and was sleepily belting his yukata.
Ukyou swallowed. "Ryoga.. ?"
Totally ignoring her, Ryoga stumbled into the bathroom, his
eyes blank.
Ukyou gave up, she got back on the bed and lay on her front
facing the bathroom door. Ryoga finished in there and stumbled
out, still in a zombie-like state.
*He's still asleep!* Ukyou blinked in astonishment.
Ryoga fumbled with the small kettle provided by the hotel,
he switched it on and then began to put several spoonfuls of
coffee in the little coffee pot, then he poured in the hot
water and waited.
Ukyou continued to watch him, her expression neutral. However,
her eyebrows shot up when Ryoga took the lid off the coffee
pot after filtering and sculled down the entire contents.
"Ahhhh... " Ryoga's eyes opened fully as his brain surged
into full awareness. It was morning, he was in Hong Kong,
in a very expensive hotel and this... this was not his room.
He put down the coffee pot.
"Koko wa... " he began, then paused. Memory gave him a sharp
kick and Ryoga's eyes widened.
He spun around and gaped at Ukyou lying on the bed. Ukyou
waved at him.
"Ohayoo, Ryoga. Remember me?"
Ryoga stumbled backwards. "U-Ukyou..." he breathed.
Ukyou sat up. "You're a hard man to wake, sugar. What does
it take? Cruise missiles?"
Ryoga blinked. "N-no... I've always been like this in the
morning," he explained. *Is this real? Did I...? With...
Ukyou?*
Ukyou shrugged. "Well, it's just something about you I'll
have to get used to, I guess." she said philosophically.
Ryoga looked around the bedroom. The rumpled bed, the
scattered clothing, the chocolate mousse.... Guilt washed
over him, he'd _seduced_ Ukyou, taken away her innocence.
"I'm so sorry, Ukyou! I've dishonoured you! I should have
been stronger! I should have..."
"Hey, HEY!!!" Ukyou leapt up and grabbed Ryoga's shoulders.
"Stop it! There was more than one of us involved here!" her
eyes narrowed. "Are you saying that you _regret_ what we
did?" she demanded.
"Yes... no... well, I..." Ryoga looked into her eyes, sighed
and let go of his guilt. "No. I don't... regret it."
Ukyou smiled. "Good." she said. "Then I won't have to kill
you."
Ryoga smiled back at her. He put his hands over hers and
pulled her to him. Ukyou sighed and laid her head on his
chest, listening to his heartbeat. Ryoga let out another
little, contented sigh, he felt comfortable and at peace.
He wrapped his arms around Ukyou and held her tightly.
"Uh... Ryoga-chan?" Ukyou's voice was a little muffled.
"Yes, Ucchan?"
"You're holding me just a _little_ too tight."
"Oh... sorry."
***
The young Japanese man looked out at the Hostel window and
tried to calm his thoughts. It was a fine Hong Kong day, just
perfect for sightseeing, or in his case, outdoor training.
But the beautiful weather failed to calm the turmoil in his
mind.
*In eight days it will be the anniversary, the ten year
anniversary. I must find _him_ before that day comes or I
will be shamed for all time!*
He clenched his hands into fists and glared at the lovely
blue sky.
*Ryoga Hibiki, I swear I will find you and make you PAY!*
***
Ukyou smiled dreamily as she sipped her tea. She was seated
not far away from the others on the patio overlooking the
hotel pool. Suka and Miya had tried to attract her attention
but she was completely oblivious to their waves.
Mikado came outside onto the patio carrying his breakfast.
He said hello to the others and set down his plate on a
table, then he saw Ukyou. He saw the abstracted look on her
face and smiled. *Perfect.* He advanced towards her. Now
was the perfect time for the kiss he had promised himself
so long ago.
Ukyou didn't notice his advance until he was right beside
her. Becoming vaguely aware of a presence nearby Ukyou turned
her head. She gasped in shock when she encountered Mikado's
face just a centimetre from her own. Ukyou jerked her head
away, but Mikado managed to brush her cheeks with his lips.
"Ugghhh!" cried Ukyou.
Undaunted by her reaction, Mikado manoeuvred in for the kill.
Suddenly he was pulled back and raised off the ground.
"Goodbye Mikado," said Ryoga pleasantly. "It was nice knowing
you." With that, he prepared to fling Mikado into orbit.
"NO!!!!" yelled Ukyou. "We need him alive."
Ryoga paused. "You're right. You hear that Mikado, you get
to live."
"Ugh. Ah... good." Mikado grunted. Suddenly he was jerked
down face to face with Ryoga, who smiled at him.
"But you don't get to enjoy it."
With that began a very very short hand to hand bout that
culminated in Mikado, bruised, bleeding and semi-concious,
being flung into the pool, at which point he was hit with
a variety of objects flung by the rest of the group, who
saw the wisdom in supporting Ryoga's opinion.
***
As Nabiki was boarding the bus for that days activities,
Ukyou stopped her and pulled her aside. "I believe this
container is yours?" she said.
Nabiki arched an eyebrow. "Glad you enjoyed it."
Ukyou blushed. "How did you KNOW???!!! More to the point,
how did you _do_??"
Nabiki winked. "It's a very old family recipe. Kuno loves
it." With that, she walked past the scarlet Ukyou and
boarded the bus.
***
Snapshots:
"The Wong Tai Sin Temple!"
"Well. FINALLY!!! We sure took the long way to get here."
said Miya.
"I'll say," said Ranma. "Through Burma, Thailand, Malaysia
and Singapore."
"Don't think of it as the long way," said Ryoga. "Think of
it as the scenic route."
"The very LONG scenic route." added Suka.
Godai laughed, "With Ryoga, EVERY route is scenic."
***
"The South China Morning Post Bookshop!"
"And we are here because...?"
"I... ran out of things to read," admitted Ukyou.
"Darn, you'll just have to think of something _else_ to do
with your evenings."
"SHUT UP NABIKI!!!!"
***
Shampoo wandered the streets of Hong Kong before coming to
a decision.
"<This sucks,>" she said. "<I have been wandering all
around this place and I haven't seen any sign of airen or
the stupid tour bus! That's it! I'm going home!>"
A bus roared past her.
"<Just because I see the bus now doesn't mean...>" she
blinked. "<THAT WAS THE BUS! COME BACK HERE!!!!>"
"Did you hear something?" Mikado asked.
"Hey, there's some crazy girl chasing after us and
screaming!" said Godai.
"Must be another one of Mousse's fans," said Ukyou.
"Speed up and let's lose her."
"BUS!!! YOU I KILL!!!! Stupid spatula-giiiiiiiirrrlllll!!"
***
That evening Mousse took the group to one of the most
exclusive Chinese restaurants on Hong Kong island. They
were given the best table and the waiters attended to their
every whim. Ukyou found it all a bit much, but Ranma and
the others were in seventh heaven. Ranma was chowing down
on everything like there was no tomorrow and even Konatsu
was losing his usual dainty eating habits.
Ryoga, who was also feeling a bit overwhelmed, looked
anxiously at Mousse. "Are you _sure_ that this is okay?"
he asked. "I really feel like we're imposing on you too
much."
Mousse waved Ryoga's concerns aside. "Just think of it
as my atonement," he said."For being such a pain in Nerima."
Ukyou fidgeted. "Mousse, we _all_ acted stupid then.
Some of us still do." she added thinking of her own original
plan for the tour.
"I know." said Mousse calmly. "But I just wanted to share
some of my good fortune."
Ukyou still looked doubtful, Nabiki leaned over to her.
"If you refuse, you insult him." she murmured.
"I guess so." Ukyou smiled and raised her glass. "Oh well,
itadakimasu!"
Kiyone finished off her mouthful of chow mein and looked
over the table for her next selection. She suddenly became
aware of a muffled thumping on the wall behind her. Godai,
seated beside her, was looking behind him and frowning.
"You hear it too?" Kiyone asked.
"Yeah. And I already know it's a bad sign." he said.
"Move away?" Kiyone suggested.
"Good idea."
Discreetly they moved aside. The thumping got louder, everyone
could hear it now. Cracks began to appear on the wall.
Ranma frowned. "Ya know..." he said. "If this was Nerima I'd
say this was..."
*CRACK* *BOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!*
The wall crumbled impressively and a figure stalked over the
rubble.
"Oh no..." murmured Akane. "Please don't let it be her!"
"Nihao!" cried Shampoo.
Ranma groaned. "Why me?" he asked the uncaring world.
Shampoo swept her eyes over the group. "Shampoo look for
you all over China. Where you go? Burma?"
"As a matter of fact, yes." said Konatsu.
"It was very nice." said Suka mildly.
"Except for the roads and the border guards." added Miya
brushing dust off her jacket.
Shampoo spotted Ranma and squealed. "Airen! Wo Ai Ni!" she
glomped him before he could escape. "You miss Shampoo, yes?"
"Argh... get offa me!" Ranma flailed about wildly.
Shampoo purred. "Shampoo very happy to see airen! You...
ack!" Her head was yanked back by the hair. Shampoo
twisted and glared behind her. Akane and Ukyou glared at
her, releasing their grips on her hair.
"And just WHAT do you think that you're doing here
Shampoo?" Akane demanded. Shampoo glared at her.
"Come to get airen!"
"He's not yours, he's MY fiance!" Ukyou and Akane
chorused in unison.
"HEY!!!" Ryoga protested. Ukyou blushed. "Oops, sorry.
Automatic reaction."
Ryoga glared. Ukyou patted his shoulders. "Gomen?"
Reluctantly he nodded.
Shampoo and Akane did not cease their glaring match.
"You always thorn in Shampoo's side. Get out of Shampoo's
WAY!"
"Haven't you got it yet Shampoo? Ranma and I are engaged!
We're going to get married!"
"No! You no can have him! I kill you!" Shampoo drew back
her fist. And was surprised when it was caught from
behind.
"No killing over the dinner table." said a strangely-
familiar masculine voice. "It's the height of bad manners
and spoils the dessert course."
"You stay out of this!" Shampoo turned and swung at the
strange man behind her. "Who you anyway?"
The man ducked. "Don't recognise me huh? I suppose I
shouldn't be surprised, though I am a little disappointed."
"What nonsense you talking?"
The man sighed, picked two empty glasses off the table and
held them to his eyes. "SHAMPOO! I LOVE YOU!!!"
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Shampoo jumped into Suka's arms.
"Mousse! What you doing here?"
"Hosting dinner with some old friends," said Mousse. "What
are YOU doing here?"
"Come for airen." Shampoo stared, finally recognising her
old beau. "You changed. You no so stupid now."
"Thanks," said Mousse sarcastically. He turned away, "And
now if you'd like to LEAVE we'd like to get back to eating."
Shampoo's mouth dropped. "Shampoo no leave, Shampoo just
got here!" Belatedly, she realised where she was.
"What you think you doing with Shampoo?" she demanded of
Suka.
"That's exactly what I was thinking!" he replied.
"You make fun of me?!" she demanded.
"Ahem," someone cleared their throat behind her. Shampoo
looked around to be confronted by a tall, black-haired,
golden-eyed girl. "Pardon me, but that's MY boyfriend
you're glomped on to."
Shampoo prepared to take offence when she noticed other
things about this girl. Like the metre long doubled-up
chain she held casually in one hand, and the expression
on her face.
*<No martial artist>*, Shampoo thought. *<But definitely a
fighter. Probably ex-gang or delinquent. The sort of
person who would try to chew your ear off while
simultaneously trying to choke you. Hmmm... not the sort
of fight I want to get into.>*
"Sorry," she said, clambering off Suka. "Aimed for wrong
man."
Miya nodded and grabbed Suka's arm. "That's better." she
said.
Meanwhile Ukyou and Ryoga were having a hasty conference.
"She's not going to leave." Ukyou whispered.
"So what should we do?" Ryoga murmured.
"Well, I'd rather have her somewhere that we can keep an
eye on her. Perhaps if we splash her with cold water?"
"Do you want Ranma to run around in the panic? Although
it might be kinda fun."
Ukyou punched his shoulder lightly. "No." she said.
"I could help." Mousse came up to them.
Ukyou stared at him. "But... won't it hurt you? To look
after Shampoo?"
Mousse shrugged. "Yes, but I'll be damned before I let her
wreck your trip the way she wrecked my life." he looked over
at Shampoo who was aiming for Ranma again. "Even Saotome
doesn't deserve _that_."
"Ummm... well, okay." said Ukyou. "If you're sure."
Mousse nodded and went over to Shampoo. "<Xian Pu,>" he said.
"<If you really want to come along I'll help you.>"
"<Huh, I'm coming along with or without your help,>" Shampoo
replied. "<Don't think that after all these years I'm
interested in you.>"
Unseen, Mousse's smile turned bitter for a brief moment.
"<Oh, I have no delusions on that score. But I have an
ulterior motive myself. Ukyou.>"
"<What about her?>" Shampoo asked.
"<Isn't it obvious? I'm in love with her!>"
Ryoga's eyebrows shot up. *What the HELL!!!!!!*
Shampoo stared at Mousse. "<You've GOT to be joking!>"
"<It's the truth, you think I'd spend all this money taking
them out to dinner, putting them up at a hotel, for
nothing? This is all part of my plan to impress her.>"
Shampoo's mind whirled, "<But... but this is PERFECT! You
get spatula-girl, and I get airen and everybody happy!>"
"<Except Akane,>" Mousse pointed out.
"<Who cares? Maybe that moronic imbecile Ryoga the
incompetently eternally lost one will take her in. Or
she can beg on the streets, it's all the same to me.>"
"<You haven't changed at all, have you Xian Pu?>" Mousse
asked wryly.
"<Mousse, I will allow you to help me!>"
"<Oh. Goodie.>"
"What's wrong Ryoga?"
"Nothing," said Ryoga, unclenching his fists. "Nothing
at all."
***
Back at the hotel, Mousse walked down the corridor from
Shampoo's room. He'd just shown her to it and she had
thanked him with her normal politeness and grace.
"<Now GET LOST!!!>"
Mousse sighed. Then he gacked and gasped for breath
as a pair of incredibly strong hands closed on his
throat.
"Ack!" he managed, before he gasped out his remaining
air when he was slammed into the wall. Ryoga held him
against it, murder in his eyes.
"<That was an interesting plan you came up with Mu Shu,>"
he said.
"Glug." said Mousse. *Oh s**t.*
"<Now would you care to _explain_ yourself?>" Ryoga
asked. "<Or should I just break your neck now?>"
Mousse indicated that air would be helpful at this
stage of the narrative. Ryoga relaxed his grip a little,
but did not lower him to the ground.
"<Your Chinese is really very good Hibiki,>" Mousse
gasped out.
"<Thank you for noticing,>" purred Ryoga. "<Now, about
that explanation...>"
"<I had to tell her _something_,>" Mousse said.
"<Otherwise she'd have just done something on her own
and screwed everything up. This way she thinks I'm on
her side and I can keep you appraised of the situation.
It also means Ukyou is safe.>"
"<What about Akane?>" demanded Ryoga.
"<You're not STILL in love with her are you?>"
"<No, as a matter of fact Ukyou and _I_ are now a
couple...>" Ryoga informed him. "<But she's still a
very old very dear friend, and if Shampoo lays a single
digit on her, I will break said digit plus interest!>"
"<Got it,>" said Mousse. "<I swear I'll try and protect
Akane!>"
"<Alright then,>" Ryoga let him go. "<Good plan Mousse.
Sorry about that, but I get twitchy when people threaten
my friends and loved ones.>"
"<Understandable,>" said Mousse, rubbing his throat.
"<Hey.>"
"<What?>"
"<Does Shampoo know you can speak Chinese?>"
"<Who me? Ryoga moronic imbecile, Ryoga the incompetently
eternally lost one?>"
"<Right. Why don't we keep it that way,>" suggested Mousse.
Ryoga considered this. "<Good idea. Well, glad we've
gotten that all straightened out. Good night Mousse.>"
With that he turned and went... into Ukyou's room.
Mousse's eyebrows shot up into his hairline. "Whoa. He
really meant it! Maybe there is hope." Grinning, he
headed for the dining room.
***
When Mousse entered the dining room he was surprised
and pleased to see that almost all of the group were there.
"Hi everyone! All decided to stay up for a nightcap huh?"
he said. "Where's Ranma?"
"Oh, he went to bed already, said Shampoo's squealing had
given him a headache." said Miya. "Are you okay? Your
voice sounds kind of funny."
Mousse rubbed his throat. "I think I might be coming
down with something," he lied.
"Oh dear, let me order you a lemon drink," said Kiyone.
Mousse sat down and allowed himself to be duly fussed
over. He was just deciding whether or not to drink the
chicken soup or the lemon drink or just order some
lemon chicken when Shampoo stomped in.
"Where Ranma?" she demanded.
"Boy, talk about your one-track mind," said Godai to
Kiyone quietly. She sighed. "Tell me about it."
"Ranma...?" said Akane. "Why do YOU want to know?"
Shampoo looked around the group. There was Mousse, the
tough-girl, her man, the student boy, the mysterious
green-haired woman, Nabiki, Akane, the fem-boy
waiter, and the hentai skater. There was no airen or
stupid spatula-girl. There was no lost boy either but
he was probably living up to his name. Shampoo's eyes
narrowed.
"Where Ranma?" she demanded again.
"He went to bed," Nabiki volunteered.
"Where spatula-girl?" she asked suspiciously.
"Who, Ukyou-sama?" inquired Konatsu innocently. "She
was tired and went to bed early."
Shampoo considered this. "WHAAAAAAATTTTT!!!!!!!"
She turned and sped out of the dining room.
"Oh hell," said Mousse. "Shampoo!!!!" he ran after her.
"Konatsu, why did you do that?" asked Nabiki.
"Do what?" said Konatsu, fluttering his eyelashes
innocently.
***
Mousse caught up with Shampoo halfway down the corridor.
"<Xian Pu, wait up! It's not what you think!>"
Shampoo broke away from Mousse. "<I'm not going to listen to
you! You are just protecting spatula-girl, your _love_!>"
she sneered.
Mousse frowned. "<I am only trying to stop you from interfering
in what is _not_ your business!>"
"<Ha! If it concerns Ranma, it is my business! And I know
Ukyou, she will do anything to keep my husband away from me!>"
"<Things have changed, Shampoo.>" Mousse made another grab for
her.
Shampoo slipped away. "<It's time I settled this! I'll give her
the kiss of death!>" Shampoo ran down the corridor to Ukyou's
room.
Mousse pounded after her, swearing under his breath.
Shampoo reached the door and reduced it to splinters.
"Spatula-girl, you I kill!"
"Nani?!" Ukyou shrieked and sat bolt upright, clutching the
sheets to her chest. In the corner of her eye Shampoo saw a
figure falling off the bed and hitting the floor with a grunt.
Ukyou and the position of the bed blocked Shampoo's vision,
but she had glimpsed enough to know that it was a man with
black hair.
Shampoo's battle aura flared red with rage as she came to the
obvious conclusion. She pointed accusingly at Ukyou.
"Spatula-girl seduce Airen! You have Ranma in bed!!!!!" she
screamed.
"Get the hell outta here, Shampoo!!!" cried Ukyou.
Behind Shampoo, Mousse groaned. "No, Shampoo, you've got it
all wrong!"
Shampoo took a step forward. "Shampoo kill you! You wicked!
You thief! You steal Ranma!"
Ukyou tossed her hair. "You stupid, home-wrecking,
purple-haired, Amazon bimbo!!!" she shot back savagely.
"Shut up!" screeched Shampoo. "I kill!" she gathered herself
for an attack as Mousse reached to pull her back.
"Hey, what's with all the screaming?" Ranma trotted up to
observe the ruckus. Shampoo whirled on the newcomer in rage.
"Spatula-girl seduce Ranma!" She pointed at Ukyou, her hand
trembling.
Ukyou raised an eyebrow, Mousse groaned again and Ranma
blinked. Shampoo stood very still for a few seconds, then
looked back at Ranma. "You Ranma."
He gave her a quizzical look. "Last time I checked." He
looked around the shattered remains of the door. "Hi,
Ucchan, what's up?"
"Ask her." said Ukyou drily.
Shampoo blinked rapidly. "If Ranma no with spatula-girl,
who... ?"
An arm reached up from the floor and Ryoga Hibiki sat up,
pulling a portion of the covers around him.
He glared at the three in the doorway. "Do you mind? Some
of us are trying to... _sleep_... here."
Despite himself, Mousse snickered. "_Sure_ you are."
Both Ranma and Shampoo were frozen, their mouths wide open.
Then Shampoo recovered. "Spatula girl sleep with... is not...
is doing... "she blushed and turned around. "Shampoo go now."
she walked away, Mousse following.
Ukyou sighed. "Great, now we have to move to YOUR room!"
she pulled on her yukata. "What are you waiting for?" she
demanded impatiently.
"I need some clothes," Ryoga reminded her. "Unless you
want me to walk out of here naked? And who knows WHERE I'd
wind up!"
Ranma stood in the doorway gaping, whilst Ukyou threw
Ryoga his clothes.
"Uh, Ranma... you can _leave_ now," said Ukyou. She brushed
past him.
"Later Ranma," said Ryoga, following her. Ranma stood in
the midst of the shattered door, mouth open.
*I can't believe this. Ryoga made a home run... BEFORE ME!!!*
***
Shampoo marched down the corridor to her room, face flaming.
*Ukyou and Ryoga... Ukyou and Ryoga...* Her mind just couldn't
accept it.
"<Xian Pu? Are you alright?>"
She turned to look at Mousse. "<I'm... WONDERFUL!!!!>" she
clapped her hands. "<This means that I only have to get rid
of Akane! And she has no chance against me!>" her eyes
blazed.
"<Oh>" said Mousse.
Shampoo leaned forward worriedly. "<But Mousse, are YOU
alright... I mean, you're in love with Ukyou, right?>"
*Oops, oh yeah.* "<Waaaaaah! I'm so unhappy!>" Mousse
utilised all his new acting skills and buried his face
in his hands. Shampoo leant forward and hugged him
sympathetically.
"<Never mind Mousse, it's alright.>" she patted his
shoulder and Mousse's heart swelled.
"<I'll set you up with Akane instead!>"
***
to be continued
From: Jessica <jaelle@ihug.co.nz>
Subject: [Ranma][FanFic] Magical Mystery Hibiki Tour #18
Newsgroups: rec.arts.anime.creative
Followup-To: rec.arts.anime.fandom
Organization: The Internet Group Ltd
The Magical Mystery Hibiki Tour
By Jaelle and Orla
***
The characters in this story are the property of Rumiko
Takahashi-sama. We prostrate ourselves at her feet and beg her
forgiveness for our temerity in using these characters. We're
not worthy! We're not worthy!
The other characters are copyright to Yukie Nasu and Pioneer
LDC.
C & C is welcome (although we don't like flames!). You can
contact us at either: ladyorla@yahoo.com or jaelle@ihug.co.nz
For more of our fanfiction visit our site 'Insane Musings'at:
http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~jaelle/Jaelle_Orla.htm
***
This story occurs four years after Ranma 1/2 volume 38.
***
Part 18
***
*BBBRRRRIIIINNNGGG!!!!*
Ukyou sat up with a jerk. *Damn hotel alarm clocks! Do
they have to be so loud?* She yawned and looked down at
Ryoga. He was still asleep.
"Unbelieveable." Ukyou muttered as she got up. "I swear
an earthquake wouldn't wake him up."
She fixed some coffee for Ryoga and some tea for herself.
Coming back to the bed she smiled down at him.
"You're so kawaii..." Ukyou touched his forehead. "My...
P-Chan."
"Who're you calling _P-CHAN_!!!!!" Ryoga sat bolt upright,
his eyes wide open and glaring.
"Uhhh..." Ukyou was stunned for a moment, then she giggled.
Ryoga stared up at her. "Ukyou?"
"Well, now I have the secret weapon!" Ukyou giggled. "Just
call you P-Chan and you wake up! You're so easy to tease."
Ryoga grinned and grabbed her, pulling her back down on the
bed. "So are you!" he said and tickled her.
Ukyou wriggled. "H-hey! Cut that out!!!"
Akane and Ranma walking past Ryoga's door, looked at each
other.
"Do we really want to know?" she asked. Ranma grabbed her
arm. "Move along now, move along."
***
"All right everyone," said Ukyou over breakfast. "We need
to discuss something."
"What's that?" asked Akane. She, Miya and Kiyone stopped
eating to look up. The rest of the group kept going,
having learned from various diverse painful experiences
not to surrender food unless they had to.
"Well," said Ukyou. "There's the small matter of
timetabling."
"Huh?" asked Godai.
"I mean that, due to our accidental sidetrips to Burma
and so on, we're somewhat behind schedule." said Ukyou.
"We're only in Hong Kong and the time on the tour's almost
up."
"Can't be, we've only been travelling around for..." Suka
looked at his watch. "Ummm..."
Miya sighed and pulled out a pocket calendar, "She has a
point Suka, we are running out of time. You have to get
back to your studies."
"You can no go home!" said Shampoo. "Shampoo just get
here!"
"Sorry, Shampoo, but we're not doing this trip for YOU!"
snarled Ukyou.
"But... but..."
"If you're going home what did I pay for?" Mousse asked.
"A hiding place from all your fans," said Ryoga. "If you
don't like it we can throw you back you know."
A sweatdrop trickled down Mousse's hair. "Never mind."
Ukyou leant back in her chair, flicked her hair behind
her, "Anyway..." she began.
Nabiki's eyes narrowed. "Oh my, it seems Ukyou has a
personal reason for leaving."
"What?" Ukyou was startled.
"Poor dear," Nabiki said solicitously. "You must have
sweet blood for the insects to bite you so." Everyone's
eyes went to Ukyou's neck. "Either that," Nabiki finished.
"Or the vampires are out in force."
Everyone looked at Ryoga, who looked at Ukyou's neck and
crimsoned.
Ukyou put her hand to her neck, the awful truth dawning
on her face. Konatsu handed her a pocket mirror and she
checked her reflection.
"Oh my god!!!" Ukyou clutched her hair tightly around her
throat and blushed bright red. Nabiki smirked.
"Uhhh... _anyway_," said Ukyou. "Getting back to the
timetable..."
A flutter of movement caught Mikado's eye and he frowned.
Then he tapped the person next to him on the shoulder.
"Godai," he said quietly. "You know that pot plant by the
door?"
"Yeah," said Godai, who'd almost tripped over it on the
way to breakfast whilst daydreaming about Kyoko.
"It's not there anymore."
"Oh, did the hotel staff remove it?" Godai asked
disinterestedly.
"No," said Mikado slowly. "It's over by the window now."
The two men stared at the pot plant. It was definitely the
same one as the one that had been by the door.
"How..." said Godai, when it moved again, this time
towards the table.
"What the...?"
"CHAAARGE! CHARGE I SAY!!!!!"
"Oh NO!" yelled Ukyou, turning to see the pot plant charging
towards her. "NO!!!"
"UKYOU-SAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! BANZAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!"
Tsubasa Kurenai burst out of the pot plant and landed on
the table in front of Ukyou. "I missed you sooooooo much!"
*Argh,* thought Ukyou. *This is ridiculous, I'm just trying
to have BREAKFAST for crying out loud!!!!*
There was a loud snap behind her.
*I better think of something REAL QUICK or Ryoga's going to
give up on the cutlery and start trying to break Tsubasa.
Actually, that wouldn't be a bad idea. Oh, but then Ryoga
would get put in prison. Ummmm... ummmmm...*
As the group sat there stunned, the decision was taken
out of their hands.
"My my, the beautiful ones certainly cue up to follow you
around don't they Kuonji-san," said a smooth voice.
Tsubasa turned to see Mikado Sanzenin, one of the Golden
Pair of Martial Arts figure skating standing behind him.
"What...?" was all he got out before Mikado gently pulled
him into his lap and kissed him.
Everyone's eyes bugged out. The Nerima crowd's especially.
*Oh great kami, Mikado doesn't know... Damn I wish I had
a camera!* thought Ryoga, Ranma, Konatsu and Ukyou together.
Finally, Mikado broke the kiss. "You're safe now with me,
miss." he said.
Tsubasa stared at him. "You... you... WAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!"
Crying, he fled out the door and into the distance, never
to be seen again.
"Oh, how sweet, that she should react so," said Mikado. "I
shall treasure the memory of our kiss."
"So will I," said Ukyou.
"Mikado-kun!" said Kiyone. "You can't just..." her voice
trailed off as Nabiki grabbed her shoulder and whispered in
her ear. "Never mind. I think you got what you deserved."
"You really think so?" asked Mikado.
"Oh yeah."
"Okay people, the timetable!" shrieked Ukyou, clinging
grimly to her original plan. "We're all out of time, so
we're going home now or I'll hit you with the table!
However we're going to take the scenic, coastal route,
that we were supposed to see on the way in home, so you'll
all get to see something new."
"But Shampoo already seen it," protested Shampoo.
"Did you think I was bluffing?" demanded Ukyou, lifting
the table, breakfast and all.
"You want fight now?" Shampoo rolled up a sleeve.
"Not over breakfast," moaned Godai. "It's bad for the
digestion!"
"Put down the table Ukyou," ordered Mousse. "I've already
had to pay for the door to your _room_," he glared
meaningfully at Shampoo, who subsided somewhat. "The
coastal route is fine... it's not very populated is it?"
"Not too badly," said Ukyou. "Don't worry Mousse, if it
gets too much for you, you can hide in my..." her mind
realised what it was saying. "Mikado's room." she
finished.
"Oh, goodie. Will I be safe there?" Mousse asked.
"Just don't put on a dress," advised Ranma.
"Don't worry, I'll leave that to YOU Ranma." said Mousse,
smiling.
***
Ranma and Akane were the first on the bus, they took their
usual place up the front. Ranma smiled at Akane.
"I'm glad we're first." he said. "There's something I need
to talk to you about."
"Sure."
Ranma cleared his throat and fidgeted. "Well, you know that
Shampoo is... well... she's probably going to... ummm..."
"Try to sit with you and shove me out of the window?" supplied
Akane. She nodded. "Don't worry, I'm _not_ going to get upset."
Ranma stared at her. "Huh?"
"I'm not going to give her the satisfaction." said Akane simply.
"Besides, I trust you."
"You _do_????"
Akane rolled her eyes. "Yes, dummy. We're getting married soon,
we're past this nonsense, okay?"
"Nihao!" Shampoo bounced on board.
Akane sighed. "Some of us are at least."
"Airen! Wo Ai Ni!" Shampoo made a beeline for the seat opposite
Ranma. There was a sudden blur of movement and Suka and Miya
plopped themselves in the seat. Shampoo stopped and glared.
"What you do?" she cried angrily.
"What?" Suka asked doing his best Shinobu impression. "There
are plenty of seats. We like this one."
Shampoo fumed, then she spotted the one behind Ranma. *Aha!*
She started forward. There was another blur and Kiyone, Godai
and Konatsu stared up at her innocently.
"Can we help you?" Kiyone asked.
"Aargh!" Shampoo stamped her foot. She looked around, there
was a seat filled by Mikado - no way. The only other option
was...
"<Having problems, Xian Pu?>" Mousse asked pleasantly as she
sat down beside him.
"<You shut up.>" grumbled Shampoo.
Outside the bus Ryoga finished checking the tyres and gave
Ukyou the thumbs up. She smiled at him. "Get on board, honey."
she said. "I'll wait for Nabiki."
"What is she doing?" Ryoga asked.
"She said she had to make a quick call to Japan, to check on
Kuno."
Ryoga's eyebrows lifted. "She checks up on him?"
"If Kuno was my husband, I'd check on him." said Ukyou. "Who
knows what he could get up to by himself."
Ryoga laughed and got on the bus. A moment later Nabiki emerged
from the hotel, she smiled at Ukyou as she reached her. Ukyou
shivered, smiles like that from Nabiki usually meant something
unpleasant.
"Everything okay?" she asked.
Nabiki nodded. "Tacchi's fine, he destroyed the kitchen, but
all he burnt were his eyebrows." she rummaged in her purse and
pulled out a paper bag and handed it to Ukyou. "For you."
Ukyou frowned. "If this is more chocolate mousse, well... I
don't need it."
"This is what you need _after_ the chocolate mousse." said
Nabiki getting on the bus.
Ukyou opened the bag and looked at the contents. "Ah." she
murmured. "How thoughtful."
***
The bus rolled along the half-empty road. The day was hot,
the sun was shining, the tempers were short, but otherwise,
everything was normal.
"Get off airen!"
Or as normal as they get around here.
Shampoo glared at Akane, who lifted an eyebrow back at her.
"Why should I get off him?" she inquired from the position
she'd taken up on Ranma's lap. "He's MY fiancee, _I'm_
getting married to him. As long as it doesn't bother
anyone else here, I don't see a problem."
"It bother Shampoo!"
"Note I said anyone _else_, not you!"
"Grrrrrr..." Shampoo drew out her bonbori. "You take final
piece of cake! You die now!"
Mousse leapt up, "Shampoo! Not here!"
"Yes here!" said Shampoo. Then the bus turned left and she
was jolted off balance.
"Argh!" Suka dodged one bonbori but the other one hit him
between the eyes and he fell to the floor unconcious.
"HEY!" yelled Miya. "Those things are dangerous. You put
them away right now!"
Shampoo snorted derisively at her. Miya's eyes narrowed and
she drew a long length of chain from her belt. "Don't mess
with me." she warned.
"Knock it off you guys!" yelled Ukyou. "This is a tour bus,
not a bar!" She drew her spatula. "Put the bonbori down
Shampoo!"
"You go to hell!" Shampoo retorted. "You just jealous."
"Of what? _I'm_ not engaged in a pathetic chase after Ranma
any more."
"Uh oh," said Mousse.
"You jealous cause you get second best," said Shampoo.
"YOU TAKE THAT BACK!!!!"
Ryoga tried to block out the noise of the fight and watch the
road, but when he heard Ukyou's scream he couldn't help it,
he looked in the mirror.
"NO FIGHTING ON THE DAMN BUS!!!" he yelled.
There was a faint thud.
"OH MY GOD I THINK I HIT SOMEONE!!!!" Ryoga's scream hit
registers he hadn't hit since puberty. The fight abruptly
stopped. So did the bus.
"Ohmygodohmygodohmygod..." Ryoga began to hyperventilate.
Shampoo, Akane and Miya looked guilty. Ukyou vaulted over the
unconcious Suka and hit the door controls.
"I'll go see. You all stay here and NOBODY MOVE!!!" she
ordered, strapping her spatula to her back as she walked out
the door.
***
*What just hit me?* thought the figure sprawled in the dust.
One minute he'd been walking along the highway, the next
flying through the air. Slowly, Hikaru Kazeten got to his
feet and surveyed the damage. He was fine. Of course. He
smiled slightly arrogantly.
Except his clothes were filthy.
He frowned.
"Hey there, are you okay?"
Kazeten looked up, rubbing his head. A pretty girl looked down
at him.
"I'm SO sorry," she said. "We didn't mean to bowl you off the
road. Are you alright? Do you need medical help? Oh nuts, you
probably don't understand me... Uhhh..."
"I understand you," he said. "Why wouldn't I?"
Ukyou blinked. "Oh you're Japanese!"
Kazeten drew himself up and brushed himself off.
"I'm fine," he said. "A little dirty, but fine."
"Wow," said Ukyou. "You must be pretty tough, the only
other..."
"Of course," Kazeten interrupted her arrogantly. "I AM a
martial artist of some renown."
"Oh," Ukyou raised her eyebrows. Kazeten waited for her to
be impressed. Somehow the declaration didn't seem to be
having it's usual effect. He examined Ukyou more closely.
Pretty, seems nice enough, a bit common though, and what
was with the spatula?
"I'm sorry," said Ukyou, noticing his puzzled expression.
"I didn't introduce myself. My name is Ukyou Kuonji,
pleased to meet you."
"Hikaru Kazeten." He pronounced his name importantly and
waited for her to recognise it.
There was an uncomfortable silence.
"It's... nice to meet you," said Ukyou eventually. "Look,
I'm really sorry about what happened. Can we give you a
lift?"
"No." said Kazeten.
There was another uncomfortable silence.
"Oh, okay then. Well, bye!" Ukyou turned to leave.
"Miss Kuonji?"
She turned back "Yes?" she said expectantly. *Ah, the fall
must have damaged his manners and now he's recovered!*
"You _do_ realise that you have a large spatula strapped to
your back don't you?" Kazeten asked.
Ukyou blinked. "Of course, it's not like you can miss it
or anything!"
Kazeten nodded. "I see, very well then. You may be on your
way."
"Oh THANK you so much!" said Ukyou sarcastically.
Kazeten nodded regally and set off again. Ukyou fumed all
the way back to the bus.
"What happened was there someone, are they okay?" demanded
Ryoga frantically.
"There's good news and there's bad news," said Ukyou. "The
good news is you didn't hurt him."
"So what's the bad news?" asked Ranma.
"The bad news is you didn't hurt him."
"Huh?" everyone was confused. Ukyou shook her head,
indicating 'I'll tell you later'. "Mikado, you take the
wheel. Ryoga go lie down for a while. And everyone, new rule.
No fighting on the bus."
The bus continued on its way.
***
to be continued
From: Jessica <jaelle@ihug.co.nz>
Subject: [Ranma][FanFic] Magical Mystery Hibiki Tour #19
Newsgroups: rec.arts.anime.creative
Followup-To: rec.arts.anime.fandom
Organization: The Internet Group Ltd
The Magical Mystery Hibiki Tour
By Jaelle and Orla
***
The characters in this story are the property of Rumiko
Takahashi-sama. We prostrate ourselves at her feet and beg her
forgiveness for our temerity in using these characters. We're
not worthy! We're not worthy!
The other characters are copyright to Yukie Nasu and Pioneer
LDC.
C & C is welcome (although we don't like flames!). You can
contact us at either: ladyorla@yahoo.com or jaelle@ihug.co.nz
For more of our fanfiction visit our site 'Insane Musings'at:
http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~jaelle/Jaelle_Orla.htm
***
This story occurs four years after Ranma 1/2 volume 38.
***
Part 19
The bus rolled in to Guangzhou towards the end of the day.
By this time the people inside were hot, tired, in desperate
need of a wash and tired of not fighting. Within ten seconds
of getting off the bus a fight broke out between (of all
people) Suka and Miya.
"You're saying I'M unreasonable??? YOU brought that stupid
chain along. I thought we agreed that..."
"I was TRYING to protect you!"
"I don't NEED your protection!"
"Fine!"
"Fine!"
"Okay!"
"Okay!"
They glared at each other.
"I guess I shouldn't have brought it," Miya eventually said.
"But I was so worried about you."
Suka relaxed. "I know, but I worry about you going back to
your old ways." *And your old boyfriend,* he thought. "Besides,
I lived in a dorm with Shinobu and Mitsuru for several years.
I can take care of myself."
"You're right," said Miya. "I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry too. Why don't we go get something to eat?"
"Good idea!" they walked off, arm in arm.
Ranma and Akane watched them go. "Weird." said Ranma, Akane
nodded in agreement.
Shampoo bounced up to them. "Airen want to go get food with
Shampoo?!" she asked cutely.
"Airen want to take nice cold shower," replied Ranma.
"Ooooh, kinky."
Everyone sweatdropped. "You are not invited!" said Ranma.
"Airen not love Shampoo?"
"Airen not love CATS!!!" Ranma shouted.
"Oh yes, Shampoo forget."
"Shampoo forget much to often for airen's liking." replied
Ranma.
"Will you two stop talking like that!" yelled Nabiki. "It's
irritating! Kasumi's kids talk like that and they're TWO!"
"Oh, Kiyone not know Nabiki is aunty," said Kiyone.
"How too too cute!" said Godai.
"Is okay?" asked Mousse.
"ARGH!" Nabiki stomped off. Shampoo fumed.
"Shampoo no talk like that!" she yelled.
"Shampoo always talk like that," said Mousse. "Why Shampoo
not learn to speak proper Japanese when living in Japan for
several years. Is too too stupid, yes? Now Mousse going
inside for nice nice meal. Godai want to join Mousse?"
"Airen!" yelled Godai.
Everyone collapsed in giggles as Godai glomped Mousse's
arm, except for Shampoo.
"Shampoo hate you! Shampoo hurt! Shampoo go away now!"
"GOOD!"
"Shut up stupid spatula girl!"
"Oh, Ukyou make stupid ramen girl upset? Stupid ramen
girl want to go cry? Okay! Ukyou happy to see her go!"
Shampoo stomped off, destroying several small buildings in
her wake.
Ukyou laughed. "Finally, Ukyou get rid of stupid ramen
girl." she looked around. Everyone but Ryoga had gone inside.
She nudged him in the ribs.
"Lost boy want to go have fun with sexy spatula girl?" she
asked. "Is make nice!"
Ryoga groaned.
Ukyou laughed. "Sorry, Ukyou not mean to... damn! This way
of talking is addictive! Anyway, what do you think of my
suggestion?"
"Not bad," said Ryoga. "As long as you stop speaking in
third person."
"Airen!" Ukyou grabbed his arm and nuzzled his biceps.
"Aiya!"
Ryoga blushed. "Ukyou, we're in public! People are staring
at us! There's one guy across the road who's absolutely
fixated on us!"
Ukyou looked across the road. "Oh my god!"
***
Hikaru Kazeten stared. It couldn't be!
***
"Hey, Kazeten!" Ukyou waved. "Fancy meeting you here. You
must be a fast walker!"
Kazeten made his way across the road to them.
"Who's _this_ guy?" Ryoga muttered out of the side of his
mouth. He glared at the handsome young man approaching.
He was dressed in a military-style uniform, his short hair
slicked back. Ryoga was irritated to note that the other
man was slightly taller than he was too. *Grrrrr...* he
thought.
Ukyou nudged him in the ribs. "Be nice," she hissed. "This
is the guy we knocked off the road."
"Want me to do it again? I seem to recall you didn't like
him."
"Then." Ukyou said. "He was probably in shock from the
accident. Hi Kazeten!" she smiled at the man. "Ryoga,
this is Hikaru Kazeten. Kazeten, this is Ryoga
Hibi..."
*POW*
Ryoga's head snapped back as Kazeten punched him in the
face. Then he stumbled back and recovered.
"Okay, I owed you that for knocking you off the road," he
said, rubbing his jaw. "But if you want a fight, it's more
polite to make a challenge first."
"It's you..." said Kazeten. "After all these years, it's
really you."
"Huh?"
"All the years I've waited... to find you here. Ryoga
Hibiki... YOU RUINED MY LIFE!"
Ryoga's jaw dropped.
"Uh... are you sure you're not confusing me with a guy
called Ranma?" he inquired.
"As though I could forget you, my arch-nemesis." said
Kazeten.
The rest of the group had come to see what was going on
and heard this. Ranma raised his eyebrows. "What gives, I
thought I was Ryoga's arch-nemesis."
"You are," said Ryoga. "I have NO idea who this guy is."
"Oh," said Ranma. "It's one of those."
"What?"
"Never mind."
Kazeten prepared to hit Ryoga again when he was stopped
by a large spatula in front of his face. "You better have
a good explanation for this sugah." said Ukyou.
Kazeten glared at Ryoga. "Thanks to him I've seen hell!"
Ryoga felt a disturbing sense of deja vu.
"You can't know the pain I've suffered..." Kazeten continued.
"One moment please," said Ranma. He pulled a bottle of cold
water out from his shirt and poured it over Kazeten.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING??!!! I'M ANGSTING HERE!!!"
Kazeten was outraged.
"Sorry, just checking something. Carry on."
"That foul day, ten years ago, when you defeated me! ME!
Hikaru Kazeten! The pride of the Kazeten School of
Lightning Martial Arts!!!!"
"Kazeten school?" Mousse asked Ranma.
"Never heard of it," replied Ranma.
"Ten YEARS???!!!" Ryoga repeated. "You expect me to
remember this?!"
"There I was, exercising my superiority over the lower
classes! I was the fittest, the strongest, the best! And
then YOU! YOU came along and defeated me! You! The bitter
weed in the pond of evolution."
"Ten years," Ryoga muttered. "Elementary school, hmmm..."
"I don't believe this!" Ukyou said. "What kind of _loser_
would spend most of their life following someone around
because of one TINY little incident that happened when they
were in their childhood?" she paused. "Why is everyone
looking at me?"
"Think about it," suggested Akane.
Kazeten continued. "You destroyed my rightful place at the
top of the school class system! I was your sempai! You
should have KOWTOWED to me!"
"I feel homesick," said Nabiki.
"Eugh, too much information." said Konatsu.
Ryoga continued to think. "Sempai??"
"How could you forget me? ME? Hikaru Kazeten! Because of
you, you scruffy urchin, my entire social standing was
destroyed. My family has sworn to disown me if I do not
bring you to justice! The lackeys at school refused to
continue to bring me my just tithe! They LAUGHED at me!
They MOCKED me! And it's all YOUR FAULT!"
"I remember now!" said Ryoga. "You're that little bully
I beat the snot out of for using karate on the kids two
years below us and stealing all their lunch money!"
Kazeten reddened. "How DARE you???!!!"
Ryoga looked surprised. "You mean you're still mad
about that? Come on! Those kids had no chance against
you! You nearly broke that one kid's arm. I just showed
you what it was like to fight somebody who could fight
back. You shouldn't pick on non-fighters. It's not
honourable."
"Who are YOU to talk to me about HONOUR, you PEASANT!!!"
Kazeten yelled. "You are too low-born to know ANYTHING
about ANYTHING!!! Well, your days are numbered!"
"I'm not going to fight you," said Ryoga. "If you had a
legitimate grudge that would be different, but this..."
he trailed off. There were murmurs of agreement from the
others around him. Ryoga turned away.
"You won't walk away from me! LIGHTNING FIST!!!!"
There was a blur of movement and Ryoga found himself
flying through the air. He landed with a thump, the breath
knocked out of him. Ukyou ran to his side.
"Are you okay sugar?" she asked.
"I'm fine," Ryoga rubbed his chest briefly. "You think he
could hurt ME??"
*Ow. Owowowowowowowowowowowowowowow.... Aaaaaaaagh!!! No,
don't hug me AAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!*
"Are you sure you're okay?" Ukyou asked. "You look a bit
pale."
"Positive," said Ryoga. "Never been better. He just
surprised me is all."
*AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!*
Meanwhile the others all turned to face Kazeten.
"Hitting a guy without warning." said Ranma, cracking his
knuckles. "I'm beginning to see why Ryoga beat you up all
those years ago."
"That was INEXCUSABLE!" said Konatsu. "You didn't even
deliver a formal letter of challenge."
"I agree," said Mousse. "I think it's time someone gave
you a refresher course in manners..."
"Shampoo no like lost boy, but Shampoo no like bad manners
even more!"
"Ryoga's my friend," said Akane, materialising a mallet
out of thin air.
Kiyone pulled a yoyo out of one pocket and began tossing
it menacingly. "We all like him."
Miya wrapper her chain around her fingers and let it dangle
down. Suka clenched his fists.
Mikado decided he was unneccessary in this gathering and
moved away, along with Nabiki and Godai.
Kazeten eyed the numerous pissed off martial artists.
"I'll be back Hibiki!" he yelled, as he bounded away in the
tried and true form of martial arts grasshopper imitating.
"Jerk," said Ranma. "You shoulda hit him harder ten years
ago Ryoga."
Ryoga shrugged. "Maybe you're right. Maybe it's time to
give him a refresher course. But not now." he stood up.
"Let's eat and shower, okay?"
***
Ryoga walked into the shower and slumped against the wall.
"Owwwww...." he said, touching his chest. Kazeten had gotten
in several fast hits and they had been MUCH harder than he
was used to lately. He took off his shirt. "Oh hell!"
His chest was covered in ugly black and blue bruises. Ryoga
groaned.
"When Ukyou sees this she's going to freak!"
"Who's going to... Whoa!" Ranma walked in and stopped.
"Shut the door Ranma and shut up!" Ryoga ordered.
Ranma did so. "Ouch, that's gotta hurt." he said.
Ryoga nodded. "No kidding Sherlock. Can you think of a way
to make this magically disappear before bedtime?"
"Why does it need to ohhh..." said Ranma, catching on. He
looked at the bruising. "Maybe you could tell her you have
a headache?"
Ryoga glared at him.
"Or you could put makeup on it, that might work. I'm sure
Konatsu has some."
"Oh please," said Ryoga. "You're making me feel worse."
"Well..." said Ranma.
"Ryoga honey I've come to help you wash your ba-ack!"
Ukyou walked in the door and stopped, staring.
"OH MY GOD!!!"
"Uhhhh..." said Ryoga.
"You told me he didn't hurt you!" screamed Ukyou. "I
can't believe this! Look at you!"
Ranma slipped out the door. Good luck, he mouthed at
Ryoga.
Thanks, so much. Ryoga mouthed back.
"Now Ukyou, it's not as bad as it looks."
"Really," she poked him.
"AH!"
"Oh. My. God. He hurt you. YOU! Ryoga the indestructible!"
"He got lucky," Ryoga tried.
"Like hell! I'm a martial artist too remember," said Ukyou.
"I can see how bad this is."
"It's just bruising!" said Ryoga.
"Yes but he did it with just a few punches," Ukyou pointed
out, tears coming into her eyes. "What happens next time you
go up against him?"
"My guard will be up next time!" shouted Ryoga. "He won't
get through!"
"What if he does?"
"Argh!" Ryoga threw his hands up. "Then I'll take care of
him the same way I did when we were children!"
"You're not children now," Ukyou sniffed. "He's obviously
done more training since then."
"Well so have I," said Ryoga. "What's the matter, do you
think I'm too weak to take him?"
"No," said Ukyou. "It's not that! I just don't want you to
get hurt."
"Okay then, I won't get hurt." said Ryoga.
"You can't guarantee that!"
"I'm a martial artist, what do you expect me to do?"
"Tell him you won't fight him!" demanded Ukyou.
"I can't do that!" said Ryoga. "If he challenges me, I
will."
"If you love me you won't fight him!"
"If you love ME you won't ask me not to fight him!"
There was a long uncomfortable silence.
Finally Ukyou bit her lip and looked away. "Well, I see
we're at an impasse here." she sniffed. "I'm going to
my room. MY room." she turned and left.
Every step she took felt like one of Kazeten's punches
to Ryoga, and he hid his face as she went.
***
"Stupid STUPID STUPID RYOGA!" Ukyou slammed her door
behind her and fell on the bed, pounding at the pillows
with her fists. "What am I going to do? How am I going
to talk him out of this?!"
*I can't lose him,* she thought deep in her mind. *I
can't be alone again. I love Ryoga, I'd die if he died.
How can I stop him? Why won't he just do what I say?*
"ARGH!" she kicked her luggage around the room. Along
the way several pieces of clothing, some maps, and a
couple of packages fell out - including one significant
brown paper package. Nabiki's present. Ukyou stared at
it. *Ah HA!* An idea popped into her mind.
"No... I can't do that." she murmured. "He'd never
forgive me."
*Not if he didn't find out... and you know how dim Ryoga
is! And besides, it could be true... I haven't used it,
so I don't really know - I wouldn't exactly be lying.
And anyway, it's for his own good. And mine, of course.*
She picked up the package and stuffed it back in her bag.
***
That evening the mood was somewhat tense as the group sat
down to eat. Ryoga and Ukyou sitting at opposite ends of
the table did not help the atmosphere at all. It was almost
with relief that they greeted the man in the doorway, until
they saw what he carried.
"A challenge," said Ryoga.
"<For you, from Kazeten>," said the man, handing it to him
and leaving.
Ryoga unwrapped and read the challenge.
"So, when does he want to meet?" Ranma asked.
"Tomorrow morning, dawn. How original." said Ryoga.
"Are you going to accept it?" asked Kiyone.
"Of course, only a coward backs out of a man to man fight,"
said Ryoga. He looked at Ranma. "You'll lead me to the
meeting place right?"
Ranma nodded. Then cautiously he ventured, "You know, you
could ask for a delay... you know, to recover."
"I am FINE!" Ryoga said. "Do you want me to prove it to you?"
"Just asking!" said Ranma.
At the other end of the table Ukyou nibbled her fingernails.
*Okay, I have to do this NOW!*
"Ryoga, can I have a word with you, in private?" she asked.
"If you're going to try and stop me..." Ryoga began.
"Just hear me out, please." said Ukyou.
The duo went into a corner and conversed in whispers.
"Think she'll talk him out of it?" asked Godai.
"No way," said Miya. "Never happen."
"WHAAAAAAAAAAATT????!!!!!" Ryoga's voice resounded around
the room. Everyone looked around to see him grab Ukyou's
shoulders.
"Why didn't you tell me?" he shouted. "Of COURSE I'll call
off the fight!"
"WHAAAAATTT???!!!" everyone stared.
to be continued
From: Jessica <jaelle@ihug.co.nz>
Subject: [Ranma][FanFic] Magical Mystery Hibiki Tour #20
Newsgroups: rec.arts.anime.creative
Followup-To: rec.arts.anime.fandom
Organization: The Internet Group Ltd
The Magical Mystery Hibiki Tour
By Jaelle and Orla
***
The characters in this story are the property of Rumiko
Takahashi-sama. We prostrate ourselves at her feet and beg her
forgiveness for our temerity in using these characters. We're
not worthy! We're not worthy!
The other characters are copyright to Yukie Nasu and Pioneer
LDC.
C & C is welcome (although we don't like flames!). You can
contact us at either: ladyorla@yahoo.com or jaelle@ihug.co.nz
For more of our fanfiction visit our site 'Insane Musings'at:
http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~jaelle/Jaelle_Orla.htm
***
This story occurs four years after Ranma 1/2 volume 38.
***
When we last left our, er, heroes?:
"Ryoga, can I have a word with you, in private?" she asked.
"If you're going to try and stop me..." Ryoga began.
"Just hear me out, please." said Ukyou.
The duo went into a corner and conversed in whispers.
"Think she'll talk him out of it?" asked Godai.
"No way," said Miya. "Never happen."
"WHAAAAAAAAAAATT????!!!!!" Ryoga's voice resounded around
the room. Everyone looked around to see him grab Ukyou's
shoulders.
"Why didn't you tell me?" he shouted. "Of COURSE I'll call
off the fight!"
"WHAAAAATTT???!!!" everyone stared.
***
Part 20
***
"I can't believe this," said Ryoga, tears pouring down the
sides of his face. "I'm... I'm..."
Everyone watched on tenterhooks.
"I'm SO HAPPY!!!!"
THUD! Collective facefault.
"What did he just say?" asked Kiyone.
"He said he was happy," said Mousse.
"But Ryoga's NEVER happy!" said Ranma. "That's who he IS! If
he's happy... then..."
Suddenly Ryoga was grabbed by the throat.
"Okay, who are you and what have you done with Ryoga!" Ranma
demanded.
"Aaaahhhh... Ranma my friend." said Ryoga.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" Ranma sprung away and
dashed behind Akane. "He's scaring me!"
"Ryoga, are you alright?" Akane asked carefully.
"Akane, Ranma, I want you two to be the first to know." said
Ryoga.
"I'm going to be a father!"
*THUD!!!!!!!*
***
The next morning.
"I still can't believe it," said Ranma. "Ryoga, a father." He
downed the scotch in front of him and looked at Ukyou.
"Are you sure Ucchan?"
Ukyou looked at her clasped hands. "Uh... y-yes!"
"Whoa." Ranma tried to drink his drink. It was empty. "I can't
believe it."
"I WON'T believe it," said Konatsu. "Not my Ukyou-sama!!!!"
Then he paused. "Wait - can I be Aunty Konatsu?"
"Errr... okay." *Geez,* thought Ukyou. *This is going a little
further than I expected.*
Nabiki sighed, "I blame myself. I should never have given you
the chocolate mousse, you were too young, too innocent."
"What's wrong with chocolate mousse?" asked Suka.
Godai stifled a flow of blood from his nose.
"Don't want to know," said Miya.
Ukyou couldn't stand it any longer. "If... ummm... if you guys
don't mind, I think I'll go lie down."
"Yes! Yes! Lie down. Calm down. Do you need a pillow? Can I
give you a back rub? How bout a foot massage? Are you hungry?"
"GEEZ Ryoga, CALM DOWN already!" Ukyou stood up. "I'm only p-
p-p-... you know." she walked off.
"Okay, you go lie down, I'll go tell Kazeten the duels off,"
said Ryoga. He looked briefly despondent. "I guess from now
on, _all_ my duels are off... I have to think of my family
now."
As she walked away Ukyou felt like the smallest, lousiest
creature that had ever crawled the earth. *But,* she reminded
herself, *It's for the best.*
***
Kazeten waited majestically, silhouetted against the rising
sun. He made an impressive, although cliched, figure.
"I make an impressive figure," he mused out loud. "How the
peasants must admire me."
"<Ma, what's that crazy man doing on top of the pole
talking to himself?>"
"<Just pretend you can't see him dear.>"
Ryoga looked up at Kazeten as he walked towards the appointed
spot, Ranma behind him.
"Ryoga!" yelled Kazeten, leaping down from his pole.
"Kazeten," replied Ryoga.
"It has been too long my foe! And now is the day that I shall
smite thee and deliver thee unto eternal justice!"
"Are you sure your name's not Kuno?"
"Silence peasant! Are you prepared to meet your DOOOOM!!!!"
"Yes," said Ryoga. Kazeten prepared to strike.
"But..."
Kazeten stumbled, off-balance. "But? This is a man to man
duel! There are no ifs, ands, or BUTS!!!"
"But I'm not going to fight you," said Ryoga.
"What, back out on a challenge?" Kazeten snorted with
laughter.
"Yes."
"Bwah?" Kazeten stared at Ryoga, who stared impassively
back.
"I formally concede defeat to you," said Ryoga. "I have
other concerns now."
"But... but you can't DO that!" yelled Kazeten.
"See ya." Ryoga turned to leave. It physically hurt him to
have to back down like this but... *Think of the baby.*
Kazeten watched Ryoga walk away in astonishment. Then his
rage grew.
"You... You..."
*Here it comes,* thought Ranma, leading the way back to
the hotel.
"You COWARD!!!!" Kazeten raged. "You are no fighter! You
are no MAN!!! You are just a spineless, brainless,
directionless COWARD!!!! You... you're a worm! A slug!
A PIG!!"
Ryoga tensed but kept walking.
"COWARD!!!!!"
The word echoed in his mind. *Think of the baby dammit!*
Ryoga kept walking.
***
Ukyou fidgeted. She hadn't been able to sit still for the
last hour. _Everyone_ kept inquiring into her health! This
became even more unnerving when _Mikado_ joined in, asking
if she wanted a foot massage, although his reasons were
highly suspect.
Ukyou paced the room, her eyes going to the door again and
again. Then Nabiki came up to her.
"Can I ask you something, Ukyou?" she asked.
Ukyou faced her, glad for an excuse to think of something
else than Ryoga and her increasing guilt. "Sure."
Nabiki waved her aside and they sat down.
"So, Ukyou, when did you find out that you were pregnant?"
Ukyou swallowed. "Uh... oh, well, just a couple of days ago."
"You used my little gift then?"
"Yes, thank you, it was useful."
Nabiki smiled. "I'm sure it was." she murmured. "Please enlighten
me on one point though."
"What?"
"How did you get it to work without opening it?"
Ukyou stopped breathing, she stared at Nabiki who presented her
with the unopened pregnancy test. "Wh... what... how did you
get that?" she squeaked, her breath coming in short gasps.
Nabiki put away the test and leaned back. "Something about this
didn't ring true." she said. "It was a little _too_ convenient
that you found out you were pregnant just as Ryoga was challenged
by Kazeten." She smiled again at the stunned young woman.
"So I did a little detective work."
"You went through my things!" Ukyou tried to summon up outrage,
but she just felt very sick. She tried to rally herself. "Well,
it doesn't mean anything anyway! I had another test, I used that."
Nabiki raised an eyebrow. "Uh-huh, and _where_ did you get that?
They're not easy to come by here." she stood up. "Don't worry.
I'm not going to tell Ryoga, that's _your_ job. Just don't be
surprised if he doesn't take it that well." she walked away.
Ukyou drew her legs up to her chest and hugged them. She felt
very, very sick.
"UKYOU!" a joyous shout echoed through the room. Ukyou turned
and looked up. Ryoga walked towards her.
"How are you?" he demanded, smiling. "Feeling alright?"
"Y-yes, I'm fine." Ukyou said. Nabiki was crazy, Ryoga would
be upset, but he'd see it her way, he'd know it was for the
best. Her thoughts tasted of desperation. "What happened
with Kazeten?"
Ryoga winced inwardly. "Fine!" he said. "Just fine!"
Ukyou, radiant, looked up into his eyes. And saw the lie
in them. And took in the forced lines around his smile. And
felt sicker than ever. "Great," she said. "That's
wonderful news."
The chasm between them deepened. Ryoga ignored it. "From now
on, I only care about you and our baby. Now, where do you
want to get married?"
"Married?" Ukyou was stunned.
"Well, under the circumstances it would be best if we got
married as soon as possible," said Ryoga. "But I'd
understand if you want to wait till we get back to Japan."
"I... I..."
"I bought you a ring. It's not very big, but it'll do for
now." Ryoga presented her with a small gold ring, inserted
with three small diamonds. Ukyou looked at it.
"It's... it's beautiful." she burst into tears.
***
Shampoo watched the pair from behind a pillar. "<Ryoga is not
happy.>" she observed.
"<Unsurprisingly,>" said Mousse from behind her. "<He is a
martial artist, to turn down a challenge is humiliating.
But he feels he has to so that he can look after Ukyou and
the baby.>"
Shampoo wrinkled her nose. "<Stupid spatula-girl, she wasn't
very careful.>" Then she shrugged. "<Still, this keeps her
out of my way.>"
Mousse rolled his eyes. "<Give it up Xian Pu. You're not
going to get Ranma, no matter how hard you try.>"
Shampoo turned and glared at him. "<Don't talk that way!
Ranma is mine! By law he's MY husband.>"
"<And we're back to law,>" Mousse shook his head. "<Is that
all that keeps you going after him?>" he asked curiously.
Shampoo blinked. "<Amazon law is clear. I must marry the
man who defeats me in combat.>"
"<So, if some other guy beat you up now, you'd switch to
him?>" Mousse asked.
Shampoo looked confused. "<Ranma is the strongest...>" she
began, then she made an angry, dismissive gesture. "<It's
the law. You know the law.>"
"<Yes, and _you've_ never been one to follow rules!>" Mousse
hissed.
Shampoo looked up at him. "<You have been very rude to me
since we met up, Mu Shu. What is wrong?>"
Mousse was momentarily robbed of speech. "<You mean you...
you don't know?!>" he gasped.
Shampoo tilted her head. "<You were never like this before.>"
Mousse turned away, struggling to keep his temper. When he
turned back his face was pale and strained.
"<Don't you realise the _hell_ you put me through back in
Nerima?>" he cried. "<You stamped on the love I offered you!
Threw my heart in my face! Humiliated me! Used me!>" he took
a deep breath. "<I offered you my all and you mocked me. Is
it any wonder that I'm a little bitter about it!>"
Shampoo's expression was unreaderable as she gazed at him. The
she shrugged. "<You should have seen I didn't love you. Stupid
Mu Shu! I have Ranma, why would I look at you?>"
Mousse winced. "<You don't understand anything I've said.>"
"<I understand well enough.>" said Shampoo. "<I understand
that you're not over me!>" her tone was slightly smug. "<But
you'll never win. You can't defeat Ranma and you can't defeat
me!>"
Mousse glared down at her. "<Don't be so sure of that.>" he
said.
"<Really?>" Shampoo grinned in amusement.
"<Just because I haven't defeated you doesn't me I _can't_!>"
Mousse growled, then he sighed. "<Xian Pu, maybe I haven't fought
you for real so as not to hurt you!>"
Shampoo stared at him. Then she laughed mockingly. Mousse
clenched his fists and walked away, shaking his head.
Shampoo stopped laughing and looked after him. "<Stupid
Mu Shu.>" she muttered softly.
***
Ukyou opened her eyes. "Ryoga. you're _staring_." she said.
Ryoga smiled down at her. "Gomen, Ukyou. I was just thinking."
"About what?" Ukyou propped herself up on her elbows.
"About how wonderful you are." Ryoga leaned forward and kissed
her cheek.
Ukyou felt sick with guilt. Ryoga had been treating her so
gently, so sweetly all day. He had told Mikado to drive the
bus so he could sit with her. Ukyou had pleaded a headache so
she could pretend to sleep and not talk, and he had pulled her
into his arms and laid her head on his shoulder. It was so
perfect, so wonderful and so, so _wrong_. By the time the bus
had arrived in Xiamen and settled in the hostel Ukyou was in
a black mood of depression almost rivaling Ryoga's on a bad
day.
Ryoga noticed her tenseness and frowned. "Are you alright?"
he asked. "Is it a mood swing?" he pulled her into his arms.
"A what?" Ukyou stared at him.
"It's in this book that Miya picked up for me, it's called
'Your wife's pregnancy and you'. It has all this information
on what the stages are and the kind of things that will
happen. Mood swings and nausea were among them." He smiled
at her. "Don't worry, Ucchan. I'm here for you."
Ukyou pushed away from him. "I can't!" she cried. "I just
can't _do_ this anymore!"
Ryoga watched in astonishment as she got out of the bed and
pulled on her robe. "Ukyou?" he asked.
Tears streaming down her face, Ukyou turned to him. "Ryoga,
I'm _so_ sorry! I'm not... I don't..." she wiped her eyes
and looked him square in the eyes, drawing in all her
courage.
"I'm not pregnant."
***
There was a long, looooooong pause.
"You're what?" asked Ryoga calmly. He seemed to be saying
that a lot lately, he reflected absently. There must be
something about travelling in groups. Normally the only
things he ever said this often were 'Curse you Ranma!'
and 'Where am I?'
"I'm... not pregnant," repeated Ukyou. "That is, I'm not
sure. I mean, I could be, I haven't taken the test."
"Test?"
"Pregnancy test, I didn't take it, so I don't... that is..."
Ukyou closed her eyes. "I didn't want you to fight Kazeten
so I told you I was pregnant because I knew you wouldn't
fight him if you had a family at stake."
"So you lied to me?"
"I didn't! Well... I sort of did. Okay I did, but I did it
for YOU Ryoga. I didn't want you to get hurt, and Kazeten's
so strong - look what happened last time!"
Ryoga sat up in bed and stared at her, fascinated. "So let
me get this straight. You didn't want me to fight Kazeten
in case I got hurt, so you _lied_ to me and told me you
were _pregnant_ so that I'd call it off???!!!"
"I-I was afraid. I didn't want to be alone again." Ukyou
stammered.
"You didn't think I could win!" said Ryoga.
"That's right! No... no, it's just that... you _could_
have lost, and _then_ what would have happened?"
"So instead you decided to remove all doubt and got me to
dishonour myself and forfeit the match. I see." Ryoga
continued to stare at her. "DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'VE DONE??!!"
Ukyou flinched.
"I WALKED AWAY FROM A CHALLENGE FOR YOU!!! FOR US!!! FOR THE
FAMILY I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TO HAVE!!! I THREW AWAY
MY HONOUR AS A MARTIAL ARTIST AND AS A MAN FOR YOUR LIE!!!!!"
Ryoga stood over her, blazing with fury. Ukyou cringed against
the wall.
"HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME??!!! DID YOU REALLY THINK I WAS
SO USELESS, SO UTTERLY PATHETIC THAT I COULDN'T TAKE OUT ONE
SNIVELLING SPOILT STUCK-UP BULLY???!!!"
"I'm sorry!"
"YOU'RE SORRY???!!!" Ryoga was almost incandescent with rage.
"_YOU_ are SORRY????!!! YOU LIED TO ME!!! I TRUSTED YOU!!!!
I WOULD HAVE DONE ANYTHING FOR YOU!!! AND THIS IS HOW YOU
REPAY ME????!!!"
"I..." Ukyou tried to speak in her defence but Ryoga shouted
her down.
"I GAVE UP EVERYTHING FOR YOU!!!! EVERYTHING!!!"
"What the hell did YOU give up?" Ukyou roared back angrily.
"You were stuck in a hopeless situation, in love with a girl
who is also your rival's fiance PLUS you were her PET!!!
I should think YOU should thank ME for getting you out of
that situation!" The minute the words were out of her mouth
she wished them back.
Ryoga turned beet red. "People who live in glass okonomiyaki
restaurants shouldn't throw stones!" he hissed. "You're
trying to deflect me from the issue - you LIED to me!!!!"
"YOU have done YOUR fair share of lying!" Ukyou yelled.
"Your entire friendship with Akane is based on a lie!"
"I NEVER BETRAYED HER!!!" Ryoga screamed.
"I did NOT betray you!!!!" Ukyou yelled back.
***
"What the HELL is all that yelling?" asked Konatsu, stepping
out into the corridor.
"You're hearing it too?" asked Kiyone sleepily from her
doorway.
"_Everyone's_ hearing it." said Godai. "You can hardly miss
it."
"I can hear it, but I can't make out the words," said Akane.
"What do you think Nabiki?"
"I think someone's little game is over," said Nabiki. "And
we should all get into the bus and move to a safer location."
"What do you mean?"
"I'll explain on the way."
***
"YOU LIED TO ME!!!"
"WILL YOU STOP SAYING THAT!!!" yelled Ukyou. "I said I'm
sorry already! But I did it for YOU, for US!!!"
"HOW EXACTLY WAS IT FOR _ME_???!!!"
"You're still _alive_ aren't you," Ukyou looked at Ryoga
with loathing. Why was he being so single-minded about this.
Okay, she had made a slight mistake, get over it already!
Ryoga clenched the sheets tightly in his hand. "I trusted
you goddammit! I believed in you. I thought you believed in
me! I thought you loved me!"
"I don't know WHAT I was thinking!" said Ukyou. "I guess I
was on the rebound."
"I can't believe this. You..."
"Lied to you, I know! I can't believe you're being such a
jackass about this. Are you sure you didn't fall into the
spring of stubborn mule?" Ukyou snarled. "I've had enough!
I don't want to SEE you anymore! I'm going to get a train,
and I'm going back to Japan, and then I'm going back to
my REAL home - and I'm never coming back to Nerima EVER
AGAIN!!" She pulled on some clothes. "Oh and here's a
farewell present!" *SPLASH*
"Bwee!"
"Why don't you go crawling back to Akane! At least as her
pet you were USEFUL!" Ukyou picked up her bags. "Goodbye
Ryoga, I'd like to say it's been fun, but it HASN'T! I'm
going HOME!!!"
She stormed out of the room into the corridor, past the
astonished guests.
P-chan looked wildly around and spotted the tea kettle
on the bench. It was hot and full. Oinking with all his
might he knocked it over onto himself and Ryoga stood once
more. He dashed to the window and opened it. Ukyou heard
it slam open as she stormed across the drive.
"FINE!" yelled Ryoga. "GO home! I'll send you a POSTCARD
from PARIS!!!"
He slammed the window shut, and then burst into tears.
As Ukyou continued down the path, tears prickled her eyelids.
She spotted the bus across the street and went over to it
to get the rest of her things. Everyone stared at her as
she got on to the bus.
"What the HELL are all of YOU doing HERE!" she demanded.
"Uhhh..." said Mousse. "We're..."
"What were you thinking of Ukyou?" Akane burst out. "How
could you do that to poor dear Ryoga?"
"Quite frankly, if I ever hear "poor dear Ryoga" again,
I'm going to be sick!" Ukyou snarled. "And what business
is it of yours anyway?!"
Akane was taken aback.
"Hey..."
"Look, Ucchan, I can sort of see where you're coming from
here." said Ranma. "But how could you but into a man to
man fight?"
"AARGH!" Ukyou threw a spatula at him. "Is that all you
can think of? Well from now on Ryoga can get into all the
man to man fights he wants to!"
"What do you mean Ucchan? And why do you have all your
bags with you?" asked Ranma.
"I'm going home."
"Back to Ucchans?" asked Konatsu. "Why?"
"No, HOME! To my father." Ukyou grabbed the last of her
things. "See ya Ranchan." she left the bus.
Ranma was about to go after her when suddenly Akane grabbed
his arm. "No," she said. "Let me. You go talk to Ryoga."
"Do you think that's a good idea?" asked Kiyone.
"CURSE YOU KAZETEN! I'LL KILL YOU FOR THIS!!!" Ryoga's
voice rang out clearly.
"Yeah. I'll go talk to him," said Ranma. "Anyone got a
small tank I could hide in? Anyone? Anyone? Mousse?"
"You're on your own Saotome," said Mousse. "Good luck!"
"Thanks." Ranma and Akane also left the bus.
"Well," said Godai. "That was scary. Uhh... how does this
affect the tour?"
To be continued
From: Jessica <jaelle@ihug.co.nz>
Subject: [Ranma][FanFic] Magical Mystery Hibiki Tour #21
The Magical Mystery Hibiki Tour
By Jaelle and Orla
***
The characters in this story are the property of Rumiko
Takahashi-sama. We prostrate ourselves at her feet and beg her
forgiveness for our temerity in using these characters. We're
not worthy! We're not worthy!
The other characters are copyright to Yukie Nasu and Pioneer
LDC.
C & C is welcome (although we don't like flames!). You can
contact us at either: ladyorla@yahoo.com or jaelle@ihug.co.nz
For more of our fanfiction visit our site 'Insane Musings'at:
http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~jaelle/Jaelle_Orla.htm
***
This story occurs four years after Ranma 1/2 volume 38.
***
Part 21
***
"Ukyou!" Akane called. "Ukyou wait!" she ran after the
departing woman. "UKYOU KUONJI!!!"
"SHUT UP!" Ukyou rounded on her. "Just leave me alone!"
"No," said Akane. "I won't. At least not until you let
me get in a few words."
Ukyou glared at her with a mutinous expression. "As long
as you're QUICK."
Akane took a deep breath and martialed her thoughts.
"I know you're angry right now, but before you go and do
something irrevocable would you please just think it
through? You're walking out on a good thing here. Ryoga
_loves_ you."
"Ryoga is a JACKASS!" snarled Ukyou.
Akane thought about it, "Well maybe he is. Nobody's ever
claimed he's the brightest spark in the works. But he's
honest, hardworking, loyal, and very very dedicated to you.
And right now he's really upset because of what you did
to him. You may not realise this Ukyou, but right now you
have more power to hurt him than Kazeten, Ranma or anyone
else could ever have. Because unlike them, he actually
cares about what you think of him." Akane paused.
"Well I don't care!" There was an edge of doubt in Ukyou's
voice, which gave Akane the courage to persist.
"Really? Then why were you trying to protect him?"
"Huh," said Ukyou. "Much good it did me."
"Well," said Akane, "You did go a bit too far. You have
to understand, Ryoga's a martial artist - accepting
challenges and fighting is not just what he does, it's
what he _is_." She drew a deep breath. "And I hate to
say it, but you shouldn't have butted in on his man to
man fight, that's just not something you do. You just
have to trust Ryoga. He'll come back, he's very good about
keeping his word."
"I'm SICK of hearing about how WONDERFUL Ryoga is." Ukyou
spat, her temper flaring again. "YOU don't know the half
of it. Were you aware for example, that your loyal, honest
and dedicated Ryoga was also P-chan???"
"Yeah. So what?"
Ukyou stared at her. This was not the reaction she'd been
expecting. "You... you _knew_???!!!"
Akane shrugged, "Oh come on Ukyou, I'm not _completely_
stupid. I've known since just after the aborted wedding."
"And you didn't SAY anything about it? You didn't HATE
him? You weren't MAD?"
"Well of course I was mad," said Akane. "Who wouldn't be?
But Ryoga was away, lost again, and by the time he came
back I'd calmed down and realised that yeah, I could tell
him I knew and kill him for everything that happened
because of it... or I could get over it and keep a very
valuable friend."
Ukyou gaped at her. "What?"
"I decided that friendship was more important than the
fleeting, VERY fleeting joy of revenge." said Akane.
Robbed of a devastated Akane, Ukyou could do nothing
but storm off. Akane watched her go, and hoped that her
words had made a difference.
***
Cautiously Ranma approached Ryoga who was seated on the
driveway, his head buried in his hands. Depression rolled
off him in waves.
Ranma cleared his throat. "Uh... Ryoga?"
Ryoga looked up and glared balefully at him. "What is it
Saotome?"
Ranma took in Ryoga's empty eyes and strained face. *This
is not good.* He sat down beside Ryoga.
"I know what happened." he said.
Ryoga grimaced. "Great, just great. More people are witness
to my humiliation as my life collapses around me." He threw
back his head. "Why?" he howled to the sky. "Why are the
Gods punishing _me_!"
"She was wrong." Ranma said, ignoring this outburst.
Ryoga stared at him. "I thought you would defend her." he
murmured.
Ranma fiddled with his pigtail. "Well, in this case... well,
no, not exactly." he struggled to say his piece. "Ukyou, she,
well, I guess she panicked."
"And that's a good excuse for what she did?!" Ryoga shook
his head. "She didn't believe in me. Akane always believed
in me."
"Yeah, well, Ukyou's _not_ Akane." Ranma's voice was firm.
"Ya gotta get that straight, man. They're different women
and they react to things in different ways." Ranma licked
his lips. This whole talk was _hard_. "Y'see, Ucchan is a
bit... insecure, because of what Oyaji... Oyaji and _me_
did, She gets a bit... possessive about things and people.
She likes to take care of people, and she's so used to
being on her own that she tries to... well, she tries to
control people." Ranma took a deep breath, this had gotta
be the longest speech he'd ever made. "She saw what Kazeten
did and lost it, I guess, so..."
"She lied to me." Ryoga interrupted. Then he paused.
"Insecure?" he asked. "Are you sure? Ukyou always struck me
as very... in control."
"She wouldn't have been chasing after me for so long even
when she knew how I felt about Akane if she wasn't." Ranma
pointed out.
"Hmmm..."
Ranma tentatively put a hand on Ryoga's shoulder. "Yes, she
lied. But do you really want to lose her forever because she
made one mistake?"
Ryoga remained silent.
Ranma continued. "People say and do things they regret all the
time. I know I regret alot of the things I did four years ago.
You've just gotta sort it out with Ukyou, let her know your
limits, let her know that she can't control you." Ranma let go
of Ryoga's shoulder and stood up. "I'll bet you anything that
she regrets her actions now."
Ryoga looked up at him. "Who knew." he muttered.
"Huh?"
"Who knew that under that selfish, womanizing, rude exterior
there was a mature man in Ranma Saotome." there was a ghost
of a smile on Ryoga's face.
Ranma blinked, then he grinned. "Who knew," he countered.
"Under that angry, depressed, directionless exterior there
was a smart arse in Ryoga Hibiki." he walked away.
Ryoga stood up and looked down the driveway. "I'm not going
to let it end like this."
***
Ukyou stood in line at the ticket counter and tried to stop
trembling. She had been shaking since she left Akane, at
first she thought it was with rage, but now she wasn't so
sure. Doubts were assaulting her, drawing away her rage and
leaving her feeling drained and miserable.
"<Next!>"
Ukyou moved up to the counter. "<One to Shanghai, please.>"
she managed in halting Chinese. She passed over the money
and he gave her a ticket.
"<Platform 2, ten minutes.>"
"Xiexie."
She walked away, staring at the ticket in her hand. *Before
I started this tour I couldn't speak or understand Chinese.*
A recent memory presented itself to her troubled mind. Hong
Kong, Ryoga's hotel room, lying in bed and laughing as Ryoga
corrected her Mandarin pronounciation. Ukyou sighed. *He was
so patient, so _kind_.* Tears trickled down her cheeks and
she brushed them away. *I swear, I've down more crying in these
last weeks than in my whole life! But...*
*You laughed alot too.*
Ukyou stopped in the middle of the crowd.
*Ryoga made you feel good. And you... you just thought about
yourself, not him. Ryoga was right, you should have believed
in him.*
"No." Ukyou whispered oblivious to the people bumping into
her as they hurried on their way.
*If you leave now you _will_ be alone forever. Don't run.
Take responsibilty!*
Ukyou looked at the ticket in her hand. Over the bustle of
the station she heard the announcement.
"<The 10.40pm train to Shanghai will be leaving in five
minutes. All passengers please board.>"
The ticket fell to the ground and was trampled on as Ukyou
ran... for the exit, for the hostel and Ryoga.
***
Ryoga stood in the driveway of the hostel, staring down
the road that Ukyou had run down when she left him.
"Ukyou... Ukyou..."
"Uh, Ryoga, I'm over here."
"UCCHAN!!!!" Ryoga spun to see Ukyou behind him. She was
pale and had tear marks on her cheeks, and she was not
looking at him.
"Ucchan?" he asked.
She bit her lip. "I... I... All I can say is I'm sorry,
and I know you've heard that but I really mean it this time
I didn't think about your feelings I was just so scared
and so selfish what we have is so special and wonderful I
didn't want it to ever end and then you got hurt and it
was all my fault if I'd never talked to that guy he wouldn't
have found you and..."
"WHOAAAAA!!!" Ryoga threw up his hands. "Please stop! I
forgive you already!"
"You do?" Ukyou looked up into his big brown baby seal eyes.
"But I was so horrible to you."
"Well I wasn't exactly polite back."
"But you had good reason."
"That's still no excuse. Ukyou, I love you, and I don't want
to lose you either. But if I don't fight Kazeten, I won't
BE me, and you'll lose Ryoga Hibiki anyway."
Ukyou smiled. "I wouldn't want that." she said softly. She
walked over to him and putting her arms around his waist
she leaned her head on his shoulder. "Who would I have all
that fun with in bed?" she tilted her head and smiled up
at him.
Ryoga blinked. "I was hoping our relationship was based on
more solid grounds." he said putting his arms around her.
Ukyou tightened her grip. "Heh." she grinned. "Of course
it is... oh." she pulled back and still within the circle
of his arms, she pulled the ring he had given her off her
finger. "Here." she held it up. "There's no need for me to
have this now."
"Why not?" Ryoga said.
"B-but... you only got this because you thought I was..."
"That doesn't mean I _don't_ want to marry you. We can
just move the timetable back a bit."
Ukyou's mouth opened and shut several times for a moment.
"Well, I... yes, I guess so." she fiddled with the ring.
Ryoga took it and her left hand and pushed it back onto
her ring finger. "I'll get you a better one later." he
said softly.
"Don't." said Ukyou. "I like this one." She moved close to
him again. "So, where's my kiss?"
"What?"
She raised an eyebrow. Ryoga grinned and kissed her.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY DOING IN PUBLIC!!!!!!" screamed
Mikado.
"Who are you to talk?!" said Miya. "You've been kissing
everyone in public!"
"Whoa... now _that's_ a kiss." said Godai.
"Yes, don't they need air?" asked Kiyone.
"I've done better." sneered Ranma.
"Aiyaa... Airen very good kisser." Shampoo beamed at
Ranma.
Akane gripped her trusty mallet. "Oh yeah?"
Mousse opened the window and leaned out. "Would you two
_please_ go to your room? Some of us are trying to think
pure thoughts here!"
"Shut up Mousse!" Ryoga yelled.
"My my, he managed to unlock himself to say that." said
Nabiki. "But I don't think it will last, yes, there they
go again."
***
The next morning:
"Okay, so what's the plan now?" asked Mousse over breakfast.
"I presume you want to take care of a certain stuck-up
martial artist Ryoga."
"No, I took care of Ranma ages ago."
"WHAT??? WHEN??!!!" Ranma spluttered.
Mousse coughed. "I was referring to Kazeten."
"Oh," said Ryoga, ignoring Ranma. "That's definitely high
up on my things to do list, however at the moment I don't
know where he is, or where he's heading, and I don't want
to go out and get lost trying to find him. So we're just
going to continue on as normal and if we run into him,
well... this time we won't stop to see if he's okay." He
smiled nastily.
"Ryoga's so strong!" Ukyou cooed. Most of the table felt
physically ill.
"Ukyou's so smart!" Ryoga cooed back.
Ranma made gagging motions.
"Enough already, okay, you're back together and everything's
happy. And... stuff went on last night that I don't want
to know about... although from now on someone ELSE can sleep
next door to you guys... So can you PLEASE STOP DOING THAT
CUTESY WUTESY stuff?? Pleeeeeeeease..."
"Ohh..." said Ryoga. "All right, if it'll make you feel
better."
"Thank you," sighed Ranma. "The floor you save could be
your own."
"Yuck. Stay away from me Saotome."
"So, onwards and outwards?" asked Suka.
"Up, up and away!" grinned Godai.
***
The bus travelled down the road at it's usual breakneck
speed. On board, the group were once more singing. This
time united in a chorus of "I Wanna Hold Your Hand".
"And when you touch me I feel happy inside,
It's such a feeling that my love... I can't hide!
I can't hide! I can't hide!
Yeah yeah yeah oh please...
Say to me..."
"Why are we stopping?" asked Akane.
"I don't know what the next line is," said Ranma.
"I meant the BUS. Why is the BUS stopping?"
"Sorry gang, roadblock." said Ryoga. He pulled over and
leaned out his open window. He opened his mouth when
suddenly Mousse got in his way.
"Allow me to translate for you Ryoga," he said, nudging
Ryoga ineffectively in the ribs. "Remember, you don't
speak Chinese!" he shot a meaningful look at Shampoo.
"Oh, uh, yeah. Go ahead Mousse."
"<What seems to be the problem officer?>" Mousse asked.
"<We've had reports of some terrorists in the area,>"
replied the policeman. "<They blew up a nightclub in
Bangkok and destroyed a border post in Burma and we've
been tipped off that they're travelling around here in
a bus matching this description.>"
Ryoga tried not to panic.
"<That's terrible!>" said Mousse. "<But I can assure you,
we're just tourists.>"
The policeman looked at him narrowly. "<Possibly sir, but
do you have any ID?>"
"<Certainly,>" Mousse fished around in his shirt sleeves.
Ryoga sweated as he noticed other policemen checking out
the registration of the bus.
"<My passport,>" said Mousse. "<As you can see, I haven't
left Hong Kong in a while.>"
"<Yes,>" said the guard. "<But... wait a minute... I
thought I recognised you!>"
*Oh NO!* thought Ryoga. *We're DOOMED!*
"<You're Mu Shu! My daughter has all your albums! We saw
your movie seventeen times! You're much shorter in real
life.>"
It was all Ryoga could do not to facefault. Shampoo was
laughing up the back of the bus.
Mousse grinned at the policeman. "<Always happy to meet a
fan. I'm taking a break after finishing the movie and
getting away from it all for a while.>"
"<I see, well... watch out for those terrorists, though
I bet with those moves of yours you could take them out
without any problem!>"
Mousse grinned. "<We will... would you like me to sign
something for your daughter?>"
"<_Would_ I?>"
Five minutes later the group rolled off again.
"Oh my GOD!!!" Ryoga gasped quietly. "I thought that was
it!!!"
Mousse looked at him oddly. "What's the matter Hibiki? It
was just a case of mistaken identity... they were looking
for some terrorists, that's all."
"Err..."
Mousse stared at Ryoga. "Oh no... Don't tell me that YOU..."
"It was an accident!" Ryoga wailed. "Although I did do it
on purpose in Burma but it was necessary!"
"Argh! I just lied to a police officer!!!"
"Sssssshhhh..." Ryoga looked around worriedly. "Ucchan, I
think we'd better stick to the back roads from now on. The
next guy might not be a fan."
After she had been filled in on the conversation, Ukyou had
to agree with this strategy. And so it was that the group
found themselves bumping over a dirt road in a deserted
area.
"Hmmm..." said Konatsu. "You know, back in my ninja days,
this would have been the perfect spot for..."
"HIBIKI! PREPARE TO DIE!"
"An ambush. Oops."
Kazeten stepped out from hiding as the bus came to a halt
in front of a huge roadblock.
"Oh no!" moaned Kiyone.
"Oh yes!" said Ryoga. "It's payback time!"
"You go get him honey. I believe in you." Ukyou chirruped.
"WILL YOU TWO PLEASE STOP DOING THAT!!! SOME OF US HAVE
WEAK STOMACHS!!!"
Kazeten waved an arm as the group got off the bus and they
found themselves surrounded by henchpeople.
"Still trying to run away Hibiki?" he asked. "You may
have evaded the police, but you won't evade ME!"
"YOU set the cops on us," said Ryoga. "That was pretty
low."
Kazeten laughed, "Nothing more than you deserve - framing
you for the actions of a group of heartless terrorists
seemed only fair."
Everyone sweatdropped.
"Now, you will take what's coming to you!" Kazeten
cracked his knuckles.
"Give it your best shot!" Ryoga snarled. "I'm really ready
for this." He got into position.
"Oh changed your tune now have you chicken?"
"I'LL SHOW YOU WHO'S A CHICKEN!!!" And with that, Ryoga
attacked.
The battle was fast and furious. Few of the group were
able to follow it completely, mainly because to prevent
their interference, they were now being attacked by the
henchpeople.
"Kisama!" yelled Suka, punching another one in the face.
The henchman went down.
"Take THAT!" yelled Miya, wrapping a chain around anothers
throat.
"They're GOOD," said Akane. "Not martial artists, but I
wouldn't wanna meet them in a dark alleyway."
"Pay attention to your own fight stupid!" yelled Ranma.
"Don't worry about me you baka, I'm just... FINE!" Akane
brought her mallet down on another henchwoman's head.
"Argh!" yelled Mikado. "I need to be on skates! I need
to be on skates!"
"This is why you should learn different techniques," said
Konatsu, throwing shuriken left and right.
Nabiki ducked. "Some help would be appreciated. I'm not
a martial artist you know!"
Ranma punched out her attackers.
"Hey... thanks Saotome."
"That's okay... sis." Ranma winked at her.
Godai desperately threw dirt in the faces of the three
henchpeople advancing on him and Kiyone. Kiyone was trying
to tell him to let her handle it, but he was beyond hearing,
concentrating only on protecting her.
Meanwhile the competition between Ryoga and Kazeten raged
on. Ryoga was tough... but so was Kazeten. For every
lightning fist there was a bakusai tenketsu, and both
men took serious damage.
Finally Kazeten whipped out a throwing knife and hurled it
at Ryoga's heart. Ryoga deflected it with a bandanna, and
it buried itself in the bus.
"HEY!!!" yelled Ukyou. "THAT'S MY BUS!!!! YOU JERK! RYOGA!
I INSIST THAT YOU KILL HIM NOW!!!"
"I'm on it!" Ryoga called back.
"This is stupid," Shampoo said. "Lost boy no can win. He
loser. Shampoo finish stupid... other boy." She leapt up.
"Shampoo NO!" Mousse yelled. "This is RYOGA'S fight."
Shampoo ignored him. He ran a few steps and launched himself
up in front of her. "I won't let you interfere. Ryoga is my
friend. Now."
"Mousse get out of way!"
"Dammit, I told you to stay out of it!" Mousse yelled.
Shampoo drew her fist back and struck out, but she never
connected.
"I won't let you screw up anyone else's life! You've done
enough damage! LEAVE THEM ALONE!" said Mousse. "Take THIS!"
From out of his sleeves he made appear two swords, a
carving knife, a steak knife and...
"That's MY umbrella!" Ryoga yelled in outrage, halting in
mid throw.
"Oh." Mousse looked embarrassed. "Is it?" He tried to look
innocent.
"Yes it is!" Ryoga continued to yell. "I lost that three
years ago. I looked _everywhere_ for it. Obviously I
should have looked up your sleeves!"
"Hey now... I found it, that's all." Mousse waved his hands
but Ryoga would not be silenced.
"You STOLE my umbrella!"
"I did NOT!" yelled Mousse. "You left it lying around."
"Ryoga honey calm down." said Ukyou. "It's just an umbrella."
"You don't understand!" said Ryoga. "It's not just ANY
umbrella - it's a family heirloom! It's been in my family for
eight generations!"
"Passed down through the ages by chance encounters," muttered
Ranma, ducking a nunchuk.
"You shut up! You have NO idea the hell my father put me
through when he found out that I lost it." Ryoga was furious.
"Father?" said Shampoo. "You have a father?"
"Of _course_ I have a father," snarled Ryoga. "I have a
mother too! Somewhere." he added.
"Uh, excuse me," said Kazeten. "But weren't we supposed to
be fighting to the death here?"
"No, before we were just fighting." said Ryoga. He grabbed
the umbrella from Mousse.
"NOW we're fighting to the death."
Kazeten shrugged, what good was an umbrella going to do
him?
"YAAAAAAAHHH!!!"
Kazeten ducked as the umbrella nearly took his head off.
*Alright, tactical error. Mental note: next time, don't
let him get his hands on the umbrella!* He looked around
quickly, *Diversion. I need a diversion!*
The two strange Chinese people were now at a standoff.
The rest of the group were putting up a good fight against
his henchpeople, in spite of being outnumbered five to one.
The Chinese girl avoided the Chinese man and launched
herself at him. He realised that he would be unable to
avoid her sword.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Ryoga yelled. "This is MY fight!"
"You too useless," Shampoo smiled cruelly.
Kazeten backed away. "I see you have another girl to help
you." he taunted Ryoga. "Are you screwing your way around
the world Hibiki?"
"WHAAAAAAT???!!!"
"YOU I KILL!!!" screeched Shampoo. *THONK* She keeled over.
Mousse sheathed the ornate carved Indian pole he had hit
her with. "Damn, that felt good. Carry on Ryoga."
Kazeten sweatdropped. This was not a good situation.
Suddenly there was a change in the status of the fight
below.
"Godai!" screamed Kiyone, as a henchman's fist slammed
into his stomach. He went down, and the henchman raised his
foot to kick him in the head.
*Yes,* thought Kazeten.
"You're DEAD!" she screamed, and reaching into her jacket,
she pulled out a gun.
*Oh Q@#%!!!!!!!*
Kiyone looked around her. "Where did they all go?"
Everyone stared at her incredulously. The henchpeople had
run the minute they saw the weapon.
"Where the HELL did you get a GUN???" demanded Ranma. "Is
it real?"
"Of course it's real!" And just to prove it, Kiyone blew
apart a nearby tree. "Errr... it's a laser gun. I'm
probably not supposed to use it unless it's an emergency,
but Godai..."
"Ufff..." said Godai.
"Put it AWAY! Do you want us to get arrested?" demanded
Nabiki.
"I... is it a crime in China too? I know it is in Japan,
but..."
"You mean you've been carrying this around for the _entire_
trip???!!!"
"Uhhh... yes?"
Everyone facefaulted. As they picked themselves up, Ukyou
noticed someone was absent.
"Where'd Kazeten go?"
Ryoga looked around and spotted a letter. He picked up the
hastily written missive and read it.
"It says: This is not the end! I shall return and you
shall feel my wrath. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!"
"Whoa, he's seriously unbalanced," said Mikado.
"Oh you only just picked that one up did you?" asked
Ryoga. "Sheesh. Well, one thing's for sure." he patted his
trusty umbrella. "I'm ready for him... and anyone else
that feels they have something to take up with me!"
"RYOGA-CHAN!"
"Oh hell!"
to be continued...
***
***
From: Jessica <jaelle@ihug.co.nz>
Subject: [Ranma][FanFic] Magical Mystery Hibiki Tour #22
The Magical Mystery Hibiki Tour
By Jaelle and Orla
***
The characters in this story are the property of Rumiko
Takahashi-sama. We prostrate ourselves at her feet and beg her
forgiveness for our temerity in using these characters. We're
not worthy! We're not worthy!
The other characters are copyright to Yukie Nasu and Pioneer
LDC.
Hikaru Kazeten belongs to us.
C & C is welcome (although we don't like flames!). You can
contact us at either: ladyorla@yahoo.com or jaelle@ihug.co.nz
For more of our fanfiction visit our site 'Insane Musings'at:
http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~jaelle/Jaelle_Orla.htm
***
This story occurs four years after Ranma 1/2 volume 38.
***
Part 22
***
"Oh hell!" Ryoga repeated. "I know that voice."
"Ryoga-chan! I finally found you!" a cute girls voice piped
out across the clearing. "Ryoga-chaaaaaaaOOOF!"
Ukyou glared at the girl who was staring at her spatula.
"And who," she asked icily, "the hell are YOU??!!"
The girl transferred her gaze to Ukyou. "Excuse me please
sir," she said. "I'm trying to get to my Ryoga-chan!"
Ukyou fumed, taking in the girls pretty dress, her pretty
long loose hair, her pretty smile, her pretty... pig?
"I'm a girl! And what makes you think he's _your_
Ryoga-chan?" Ukyou demanded. "He happens to be MY Ryoga...
er, chan."
The girl looked at her, shocked. "Oh no! I never thought
Ryoga-chan could be so... did you say you were a girl?"
"YES!"
"OH, well that's alright." the girl looked beyond her.
"Ryoga-chan! Ryoga-chan! Why don't you come over here?"
"Sure," Ryoga called. "Just as soon as you go away."
Ranma snorted with laughter. "Hey, I thought you said you
two were finished?"
"We _are_ finished," Ryoga said grimly. "Very very VERY
finished!"
"She doesn't seem to see it that way," Ranma pointed out,
and indeed the girl was speaking again.
"How can you say that? I understand that you were upset when
you left... but when you didn't turn up again I got worried."
her lip trembled
"Akari!" Ryoga yelled in exasperation. "I told you - it's
over!"
Akari waved a hand. "I know you said that, but I thought
you were just upset over that incident with the fire hose."
Ryoga groaned, "Don't remind me."
"I told you, it was an accident!"
Ukyou's eyebrows had disappeared into her hairline.
"Just like it was an accident with the fourteen buckets of
water, eighteen water pistols, three sprinkler systems and
a watering can," said Ryoga sarcastically. "I told you, I'm
not your toy!"
A single tear dripped down Akari's face. "But Ryoga-chan,
I'm here to get you back."
"Over my dead body," Ryoga muttered.
"Don't blame her man, she's just trying to bring home the
bacon," said Ranma.
"You shut up!" Ryoga snarled. "Ohh... I did not want to have
to deal with this again!" He stalked over to Akari and Ukyou
and brushed the spatula away.
"Ryoga-chan," said Ukyou sweetly. "Who is this girl? And if
you say she's your fiancee, I will not be held responsible for
the consequences!"
"Far from," said Ryoga. "Ukyou, my girlfriend, please meet
Akari, my extremely EX girlfriend."
Akari stared from him to Ukyou. "Girlfriend?" she faltered.
Ukyou looked hard at Ryoga. "_Ex_ girlfriend?"
"Yup."
"_Really_ ex-girlfriend... Not girlfriend I got lost wandering
away from, not girlfriend I stole her fathers food cart, not
girlfriend I defeated her in combat."
"Ah... well... not her."
Ukyou rolled her eyes.
"I _did_ defeat her sumo pig though," said Ryoga.
"Her... what????"
"Sumo pig - there's the little porker now." Ryoga pointed.
Ukyou looked at the large pig standing behind Akari.
"Aiya! That's a lot of okonomiyaki toppings!" she said.
"How COULD you???" Akari demanded. "Don't tell me - she
eats PORK!!!"
"I don't eat it sugar, I COOK it," Ukyou snarled. "And I'm
a little short on supplies right now!"
Akari looked at Ryoga, who nodded in confirmation. "She does
cook pork - although I'm trying to get her to stop for
personal reasons."
"But... how could you go out with someone like THAT??" Akari
sobbed.
"WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN??!!!"
"Maybe because SHE likes me when I'm NOT a PIG!!!" Ryoga
yelled.
"Umm..." said Ranma. "You do realise that Akane's standing
right here, don't you... P-chan?"
Ryoga's face was a study of horror. More than anything, he
resembled the picture, "The Scream".
"A...a...a...Akane?"
"Don't let him psyche you out," said Akane. "Of course I
know you're P-chan."
"..."
"Oh, sorry about that Ryoga-honey, I forgot to mention it."
said Ukyou. "She told me last night."
"Me too," added Ranma.
"And me."
"Yeah, me too."
"I was as surprised as you are."
"Yeah."
Ryoga turned. "You... You ALL KNEW???!!!"
Nods from all around.
"And nobody TOLD ME???!!!"
"Oh come on Ryoga," said Akane. "Compared to some of the
things you got up to, in the revenge stakes this is very
small potatoes."
"Er... true. Guess I can't argue with that," said Ryoga.
"Does this mean I get to live."
Akane smiled.
"Ummm..." said Akari. "We're dealing with a romantic
problem here. Obviously my Ryoga-chan has been seduced by
this... flat-chested woman."
"That's not true!" yelled Ukyou.
"That's right," said Ryoga. "She's NOT flat-chested."
There was a pause. "I just objected to the wrong part of
that sentence didn't I?" Ryoga asked.
"Ohhhhhh yeah..."
"NOT that I'm not flattered," said Ukyou. "But I'd rather
you kept these observations private." A thought occured to
her. "Very private... as in, in our bedroom, in our bed."
Akari went bright red. "You slept with HER... ???"
*Uh oh,* thought Ryoga.
"But you refused ME???!!!"
Ukyou smirked. Then suddenly frowned. "Waaaaait a second
here."
"Anyway," said Ryoga. "Moving right along. Akari, it's
over. VERY over. I told you so. I wrote you letters! I
telephoned! I sent faxes! I sent EMAILS!! I set up a WEBSITE!!!
I did everything but skywrite it over your house, and believe
me I was tempted... that IT IS OVER!!!! I am not your Ryoga-
chan! I never WAS your STUPID Ryoga-chan! I must have been
insane to even go out on a single date with you. PLEASE,
remove yourself from my life!"
Akari thought for a moment. "So, does this mean we're on a
break?"
"AAAAARGH!" Ryoga slapped his hand against his head. "You
see what I'm up against." he appealed to Ukyou.
"But you defeated Katsunishiki!" Akari said. "My father said
only those who can defeat him are worthy to be my husband."
"Ukyou pleeeease," Ryoga said. "You're a girl. Help me!"
Ukyou nodded. "So," she said to Akari. "Let me get this
straight. Only those who defeat Katsunishiki the sumo pig
are worthy of you."
"That's right," said Akari.
"What if a _girl_ defeated Katsunishiki?"
"Uhhh..." Akari sweatdropped.
"To be more specific," Ukyou unlimbered a chopping knife.
"What if a girl defeated Katsunishiki, chopped him up and
ATE HIM FOR LUNCH??!!!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" Akari took off
like a rocket, dragging her beloved pig as she went.
Ryoga closed his eyes and breathed again. "_Thank_ you!"
Ukyou smiled. "Now," she said menacingly, "There aren't
any others like that are there?"
"Oh no," said Ryoga. "None."
"Good. Then you get to live."
*Gulp*.
***
The group had dispersed to see to various wounds and repairs.
"The bus appears to be alright, we should be able to keep
going." Mikado reported.
"Ah, Ukyou-sama will be happy," said Konatsu. He went over
to Akane. "How is Shampoo?" he asked.
"Very unconcious," said Akane. She looked up at Mousse. "You
hit her pretty hard."
A pained expression crept over Mousse's face. "I had to."
"Oh, so you didn't even enjoy it a _little_ bit?" Akane
teased. A small smile flitted across Mousses' mouth.
"_You_ defeated Shampoo?" Ranma came up to them. "I thought
Kazeten got her!"
"She was trying to interfere in Ryoga's fight," said Mousse.
"I _had_ to stop her."
"But Mousse!" Ranma was practically jumping up and down with
excitement. "Can't you see? This means you've won! You beat
Shampoo! According to Amazon law, that means she has to marry
_you_." Ranma had a huge grin on his face. "I'm free!" he
crowed.
Mousse shook his head. "I don't care about the law!" he
yelled. "I don't want Shampoo!"
Shampoo opened her eyes at this point and heard Mousse's
words.
"Shampoo!" Akane leaned forward. "Are you alright?"
Shampoo ignored her and stared at Mousse. "Mousse not
_want_ Shampoo?" she asked, confused.
Mousse glanced down at her, then looked away. "That's right.
I want nothing to do with you!"
Shampoo blinked and touched the back of her head. "Mousse...
Mousse _hit_ Shampoo!" she murmured increduously.
"I warned you." he said. "I told you not to interfer. I _had_
to stop you."
Shampoo rubbed her head. "Mousse... Amazon law say..."
"Mousse is your new airen!" said Ranma cheerfully. "Great, ne?"
Shampoo groaned. "No! No!"
"Don't worry." Mousse spat. "I'm not going to hold you to it,
Shampoo. You're free to do as you please."
Shampoo sat up abruptly, then she slumped back as dizziness
threatened to overwhelm her. A flicker of concern flared in
Mousse's eyes, but it died at her next words.
"Shampoo have to follow law." she said. "Great Grandmother say
so."
"Cologne would be happy to break the world if it meant that you
didn't have to marry me!"
She glanced up at him. "What you mean?"
"Cologne wants a _strong_ son-in-law, a perfect specimen of
martial arts prowess." Mousse waved a hand at Ranma. "And here's
Saotome... strong, relatively good-looking, a good martial
artist etc etc... Never mind that he turns into a girl half the
time and has no brains. At least he's not defective, his kids
won't be _blind_!"
"What d'ya mean no brains!" Ranma yelled.
Akane shushed him. "Mousse..." she began.
"Actually Mousse, I think you're looking at it in the wrong
way." said Ukyou who had come in at the end of his tirade. She
was carrying a first aid case with which she'd been treating
Ryoga.
Mousse frowned. "What do you mean?" he asked.
"You should be dumping Shampoo because of _her_ defects,"
said Ukyou. "She's a brainless, ungrateful bimbo while you
are an intelligent, generous man."
Shampoo lept to her feet, anger overriding discomfort.
"Spatula-girl take back insult!" she cried. "Or Shampoo kill!"
Ukyou dropped the first aid kit and pulled out her spatula.
"Ready when you are." she said sweetly.
A hand held her spatula back. Ukyou turned. "Ryoga?"
"Didn't you say no fighting on the bus?" he asked mildly.
Ukyou flushed faintly. "I..."
Ryoga looked at Shampoo. "If you want to take on Ukyou,"
he said to her. "You take on me as well. And I don't think
you could take us _both_ down!"
Shampoo tossed her head. "Two against Shampoo? No problem,
Mousse aid Shampoo like always."
"Ha!" Mousse laughed. "Not likely. Mousse will sit back and
watch you get your backside kicked."
Shampoo stared at him. "Mousse really hate Shampoo..." she
whispered. Then, suddenly, tears welled up in her eyes.
"<So stupid, Mu Shu.>" she ran upstairs sobbing.
Mousse blinked. "That was unexpected." he said.
Ukyou put down her spatula. "Don't feel too bad sugar." she
said. "Shampoo deserves a bit of tough love."
Ryoga smiled. "That was very perceptive, Ucchan. And here
I thought you hated her."
"I do hate her." said Ukyou. "I hope she really suffers."
she walked to the front of the bus.
Mousse and Ryoga exchanged glances and shrugged. This was
one battle they had no intention of interfering in.
Soon the bus was on it's way, heading for the nearest town
for refuelling.
***
"So where are we?" Mikado asked.
"Nanchang." said Mousse, he peered furtively out of the
window. "Damn, there's a poster of me in that CD store."
*Splash!*
"Wak!" Mousse glared up at Shampoo who was standing over
him with a glass of water in her hand.
"You safer this way." she said picking up the indignant
duck. "<I'll make sure the giggling hordes don't mow you
down.>"
Ryoga grinned as he overheard this. "I think Mousse is
getting to her." he murmured to Ranma.
"Finally." Ranma muttered back. Then he smiled at Ryoga.
"Ya know, Ryoga, I've gotta thank you for this whole tour
thing."
"Nani?"
"Well, I'm losing all my problems... extra fiancees, rivals,
everything... and it's all thanks to you and Ucchan."
Ryoga laughed. "Well, it didn't intend to end up that way!"
Ranma nodded. "I figured." he said. "It was another break-up
plot, ne?"
"Uhhh..."
"Chill man." Ranma reassured him. "I'm not going to get mad,'
after all, it failed, so it doesn't matter _what_ your
original intentions were."
Ryoga grinned. A fragment of memory stirred in him, Ukyou's
assurances about the outcome of the tour. *'I promise that
we will both return married to the ones we love.'*
"Oh, I wouldn't say it failed... much."
"Ryoga!" Miya hailed him. "Ukyou wants you to help her with
the hotel!"
"Hai." Ryoga got up and went down to the front of the bus
where Ukyou was sitting at her usual seat looking cross. She
held up the cellphone (Nabiki's) to him. "The stupid man on
the other end keeps babbling in Chinese... I can't make out
a word, well, not much anyway."
Ryoga checked to see that Shampoo was not paying attention,
she was seated at the far end of the bus, still holding Mousse
and talking to Kiyone. He took the phone and quickly managed
to sort out the accommodation problems. He handed the cellphone
back to Ukyou.
"Arigato, honey." she said, then sighed. "I'm never gonna get
a handle on Mandarin."
He smiled as he sat at the wheel. "How about another language
lesson tonight?" he suggested. "I made sure we got a double
room."
Ukyou smiled. "Only language lessons?" she murmured.
"With rewards."
"Oh... nice."
Suka rolled his eyes. "Did you hear that?" he asked Godai.
"Don't they ever stop?"
"Obviously not." said Godai enviously.
***
At the hotel Ryoga relaxed in a nice warm bubble bath.
Hearing Ukyou enter their room, he grinned and called out
to her.
"Oh good," said Ukyou, walking in, "You're here."
"Where else would I be?" Ryoga grinned. Ukyou looked at
him. He stopped grinning. "Okay, okay, point taken."
Ukyou looked at the bath. "That looks warm." she said.
"It is."
"It looks comfortable."
"It is." Ryoga grinned.
"It looks like it's my turn," said Ukyou. She threw him a
towel. Ryoga's face fell. "Don't look at me like that!
You're supposed to be a pig, not a lost puppydog. Mousse
and Shampoo are screaming at each other in Chinese in the
main foyer and the only word I've been able to make out so
far is 'idiot' several times. They're scaring the other
customers. Go make them stop." she walked into the other
room.
Ryoga reluctantly got out of the bath and got dressed, then
followed her through, finding the door on the third try.
"How will I get there?" he asked plaintively.
"Just follow the noise," said Ukyou dryly, pushing him out
the door.
Ryoga walked down the corridor and into the foyer where,
from the sounds of things, World War III was currently in
progress.
"<You have to obey the law you moronic imbecile!>" Shampoo
yelled.
"<The only laws I HAVE to obey are the ones governing
physics,>" retorted Mousse. "<And even they can be ignored
for a little while. Are your buns obscuring your hearing?
I won't marry you!>"
"<Great-grandmother will be angry with you,>" Shampoo
threatened.
"<I severely doubt it but good!>" replied Mousse.
Shampoo's eyes narrowed. "<You really ARE in love with that
Kuonji harridan aren't you? I've never liked that cow, maybe
I should kill her.>" she turned to find Ryoga barring the
way.
"<That would be a bad idea Xian Pu,>" he said. "<Because
that would make me unhappy - and you wouldn't like me when
I'm unhappy.>"
Shampoo stared at him. "<You... speak Chinese?>"
"<No,>" he said. "<You're only imagining this.>"
Mousse chuckled. "<Gotcha again Xian Pu.>"
She turned on him. "<You knew!>" She glared at Ryoga. "<So
you've understood everything I've said for the last couple
of days?>"
Ryoga's grin got wider. "<Yup, and if you're VERY good, I
won't pass it all on to other ears.>"
"<You're all against me!>" Shampoo cried, running off to
her room.
"<Finally she notices,>" said Mousse. Ryoga frowned at him.
"<Acting callous is fine, but do you HAVE to fight in public
places? And incidentally, _you're_ not fooling anybody.>" *I
got out of a bubble bath for _this_?*
Mousse looked embarrassed. "<Sorry,>" he mumbled. "<It's
just... after everything she put me through...>"
Ryoga sighed. "<Well, I'll forgive you, on one condition.>"
"<What?>"
"<That you lead me back to my room, I'm lost.>"
"<You're _hopeless_!>"
***
The next morning at breakfast things were their usual
state of affairs - chaotic.
"That's MY toast."
"Sorry Ranma-san."
"Konatsu!"
"If that's your toast, what's this I'm eating?"
"You can have it back Ranma-san."
"You've already bitten into it, I don't want to eat
your germs!"
"What's the matter, afraid you'll start acting like a girl?"
"Too late for that!"
"Pass the salt."
"You put SALT on your TOAST?"
"No, don't be stupid."
"Oh phew."
"I put it in my coffee."
"Bleugh."
Ryoga ran a fond eye over the assembled group. "They're good
people," he said. "Most of the time."
"You're in a good mood today," said Ukyou.
"And why wouldn't I be? The sun is shining, the birds are
singing, and you and I..."
"SHHHHHHHH!!!!!" Ukyou shushed him frantically. "Let's not
go into that right now." She stood up and gave him a kiss on
the cheek. "I'm going to go into the kitchen and see about
our sandwiches for lunch." She walked off. Ryoga watched her
go, then turned back to his (relatively) peaceful breakfast.
The peace was shattered by the sound of breaking china and
a choked scream.
"Ryoga!!!!"
Ryoga had never moved so fast in his entire life. He was
through the door to the kitchen so quickly that he ripped it
off its hinges, the others following through the empty
doorway.
Inside the kitchen was a sight to chill his blood. Ukyou was
backed up against a wall, a gun pressing against her throat.
Kazeten grinned at him. "Ohayoo gozaimasu Ryoga-kun," he
grinned. "And what a fine day it is too."
"Kazeten!" Ryoga didn't recognise his own voice. "If you
hurt her... I'll... I'll... I'll START by ripping your
lungs out and feeding them to adders!"
"Oh, I'm SO scared," Kazeten drawled. "But it won't do your
beloved here any good. Now be a good boy, and take what's
coming to you." He swivelled the gun, pointed it at Ryoga,
and fired five times. Ukyou screamed.
Ryoga looked down at the tranquiliser darts sticking out of
him. "Not enough!" he gritted, lunging for Kazeten.
"Then it's just as well this thing has another two rounds,"
said Kazeten, firing both of them whilst evading Ukyou's
wild grab at the gun. Ryoga's eyes crossed and he slowly
toppled to the floor.
"RYOGA!!!!!!!" screamed Ukyou.
"Okay jerk, YOU'RE DEAD!" yelled Ranma. Kazeten merely
laughed, and shoved Ukyou into Ranma. Then he stepped back
and his goons poured in through the doorway, the windows,
out of the cupboards, and did their best to bury the group.
By the time they had fought their way clear, Kazeten, and
Ryoga, were gone.
to be continued...
From: Jessica <jaelle@ihug.co.nz>
Subject: [Ranma][FanFic] Magical Mystery Hibiki Tour #23
The Magical Mystery Hibiki Tour
By Jaelle and Orla
***
The characters in this story are the property of Rumiko
Takahashi-sama. We prostrate ourselves at her feet and beg her
forgiveness for our temerity in using these characters. We're
not worthy! We're not worthy!
The other characters are copyright to Yukie Nasu and Pioneer
LDC.
Hikaru Kazeten belongs to us. Damn.
C & C is welcome (although we don't like flames!). You can
contact us at either: ladyorla@yahoo.com or jaelle@ihug.co.nz
For more of our fanfiction visit our site 'Insane Musings'at:
http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~jaelle/Jaelle_Orla.htm
***
This story occurs four years after Ranma 1/2 volume 38.
***
Part 23
***
"Ryoga? Ryoga? RYOGA!!!!!!!!" Ukyou frantically turned over
pots and looked under tables.
Ranma stood knee-deep in goons and clenched his fists. "That
coward!" he spat. "Talk about no honour!"
Akane blinked back tears. "What's going to happen to Ryoga?"
she wondered aloud.
Suka and Miya came back into the kitchen. "No sign of them out
the front." Suka reported.
"Nothing out the back." Konatsu jumped in through the open
window. He looked at Ukyou in concern, she was now standing
very still. "Is Ukyou-sama alright?" he asked Kiyone.
Kiyone sighed. "She's in shock."
Nabiki frowned. "This does not make sense." she said.
Godai, who was helping Mikado tie the goons up, looked up at
her. "What do you mean?" he asked.
"This is not Kazeten's style, from what I've observed he
wouldn't get much satisfaction out of killing Ryoga in private."
"Maybe he desperate." suggested Shampoo.
"It's not a private death he wants." Mousse came back into the
kitchen. He held up a piece of paper. "This was stuck on the
bus."
Ranma took it. "Hmmm... a challenge to _all_ of us?"
Akane looked over his shoulder, "Well, at least he put the
address on it."
Ukyou moaned faintly and fell to her knees onto the ground.
"Ryoga..." she whimpered.
Shampoo walked up to her. "Spatula-girl, get with program."
she said.
Ukyou ignored her, Shampoo frowned.
*SLAP!*
Ukyou rocked back on her heels and held her red cheek. "What
the hell... ?!!"
"Spatula girl better pull herself together," said Shampoo,
"Or risk losing lost stupid pig boy forever!"
Ukyou stood up and rubbed her cheek. "Don't you call him that!
My Ryoga's the sweetest, bravest, _cutest_ martial artist that
ever walked the earth!"
"If so keen on him, better get going to answer challenge,"
said Shampoo. "Else lose him... maybe to _better_ martial
artist."
"Grrr..." Ukyou glared. "Once I've settled Kazeten's hash
_you're_ next on my hit-list, bimbo!" She stormed out the door
towards the bus. "Mikado! Get out here and drive this thing!"
"WAIT!" yelled Ranma.
Ukyou turned on her heel. "WHAT??!!"
Ranma sighed. "Much though I hate to admit this, and believe
me, I really DO hate to admit this, but it has to be said."
Everybody waited with bated breath.
"But we need a plan."
***
One plan (and an hours driving) later:
Kiyone patted Nabiki on the shoulder and stepped off the
bus. "Don't worry about it," she called over her shoulder.
"I have a weapon, remember?"
"Why do WE have to stay on the bus?" Godai demanded one last
time. "I want to come with you and help!"
"Because you can't fight Godai," said Ranma.
"Hey!"
Suka patted Godai on the shoulder. "Look at it this way. We
need you to help back up Nabiki and Mikado and keep the
bus clear in case we need a hasty escape. I've been in lots
of bad situations and keeping a clear exit open is the most
important thing I've ever learnt."
"Really?"
"That, and don't piss off Shinobu, but he's not here so we
should be safe for now."
***
Far away.
"Ahchoo!"
"You okay Shinobu?"
"Fine Mitsuru. Someone's talking about me in an unflattering
manner though." Shinobu sniffed.
Mitsuru raised an eyebrow. "I wouldn't worry about it - it's
probably your crazy sister again."
"Probably."
***
Godai watched the others go, "Good luck gang." he muttered
under his breath as they raced down the hill to the Misty
Valley Springs (This was a bad translation from the Chinese).
The group pounded down the hill.
"I can barely see a thing!" Konatsu complained.
"Oh thank goodness, I thought the surgery on my eyes was
failing." said Mousse in relief.
"Nobody can see anything," said Akane. "It's all this
stupid mist! I can barely tell..."
*SPLASH*
"... if there's solid ground in front of us. Okay everyone,
watch out for springs." Ranma-chan finished the sentence for
Akane. "Anyone got a thermos?"
*SPLASH*
"Never mind," said Ranma-kun, "Okay hot AND cold springs
alert. Pay attention Mousse!"
*SPLASH*
"To what, where you're walking?" Mousse asked Ranma-chan.
"Cut the banter people!" Ukyou snapped, taking the lead.
"We have to rescue Ryoga." Her battle aura was glowing a
bright bright red.
"Everyone follow Ukyou!" yelled Suka. "She can light the
way! Heck, she could put Rudolph out of a job."
"Ssssshhh! Do you want her to get mad?" Miya said.
***
Ryoga blinked. He was warm, almost uncomfortably, and his
skin felt slightly damp. He also ached all over. Drawing in
a deep breath Ryoga began to stretch and discovered he couldn't.
His eyes snapped open as he realised that his arms and legs
were immobilised, that he was chained, upright, to a large
rockface.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!"
Ryoga looked to his left. "Kazeten... " he rasped. *What the
hell is going on? Why does my throat feel like sandpaper?*
Eyes alight with glee (and a good dose of madness), Kazeten
came up close to Ryoga. "How are you feeling, Hibiki?" he
asked. "A little sore? A bit _weak_?!"
Memory kicked in. The kitchen, Ukyou, Kazeten holding a gun
on Ukyou, Kazeten firing at him. Ryoga snarled and tensed his
muscles, pullling on the chains that held him.
Kazeten laughed at his efforts. "Save it, Hibiki!" he crowed.
"Those chains are made of pure titanium, not even _your_
strength can break them!"
"Is this your idea of a fight?!" Ryoga cried. "You plan to kill
me while I'm chained to this rock?!"
"Perhaps, maybe... "Kazeten shrugged. "But not before you lose
something you value more than your life."
Ryoga shivered. "What have you done to my _friends_!" he
demanded.
Kazeten smirked. "The fun is about to begin."
***
"Here they come!" Kiyone cried.
Miya and Suka suddenly surged out to the front of the group.
"You guys go on ahead!" Miya yelled. "We'll hold these guys
off!"
The rest of the group continued on as the couple leapt into
battle.
Miya attacked with a harsh yell and an incredible ferociousness.
And a long chain and years of experience of street fighting.
Suka attacked with a wild cry and a vivid intensity. And his
fists and years of experience of living in a boys only dorm.
They were frighteningly good together. They also used every
single dirty trick in the book as well as all the ones that
had been left out of the book on the grounds that they were
far too mean to use on anyone. Silently, Suka blessed Mitsuru,
Shinobu and all the gang and their training. For some reason,
even the most well-armed thug didn't seem scary anymore.
***
Mikado nervously gunned the engine again and checked the
rear view mirror. "How are they doing?" he called.
Godai peered intently through an old pair of Mousse's
glasses. "Okay, Suka and Miya have just split off and
it looks like Konatsu and Kiyone are teaming up for the
next section. Good grief! I can make out the pattern on
Konatsu's sash with these things! I have binoculars at home
that are weaker than these! And... uh oh..."
"Uh oh?" asked Nabiki. "What does that mean?"
"It means - there's some goons coming right at us!" Godai
yelled. "Mikado! Step on it!"
Mikado began driving the bus in a complicated manoeuvre
based on his martial arts ice skating skills - a move
designed to keep an opponent constantly having to change
course to meet them. It worked, but there were just too many
goons coming.
Godai raced up and down the bus, thwapping hands, heads, and
whatever else he could reach with one of Ukyou's giant
spatulas. Goons yelped and jumped back, but were not
deterred.
Finally... "Alright," yelled Nabiki. "Let's see how this
works!" She pulled Kiyone's gun out of her purse and fired.
A huge blast of energy shot out and hit a group of goons,
dropping them in their tracks.
"Wow!" said Godai. "That's amazing!"
"It certainly _is_," said Nabiki. "But that wasn't a bullet!"
she checked the gun. "Hey... there's a lever on this thing -
it's pointing to... stun. Hmmm... Kill, Disintegrate, Destroy
the Universe." she paused. "You've GOT to be kidding me."
***
"Wasshu... you put a WHAT setting on Kiyone's gun???!!!"
"Oh come on Tenchi, how much trouble is she going to get into
on holiday? She's the sensible one, I'm sure she won't touch
it."
***
Nabiki fingered the settings. "Hmmm..."
***
Konatsu threw a pair of shuriken and watched in satisfaction
as the goon went down. He looked over his shoulder to check
on Kiyone-san and his jaw dropped. Kiyone was fighting with
incredible speed... and a yo-yo. Even as he watched she
dodged a bokken and slammed the yo-yo into the man's jaw.
Hmmm... she'd said she was a cop, and she fought with a
yo-yo. Konatsu put two and two together.
"Wow, sukeban deka! Saki-san! I watch your show all the
time!"
And of course, it being the Ranma-verse, came up with eleven.
***
With the other four gone, the group had closed ranks. It was
now all the Nerima group together - Ukyou in lead, Ranma
backing her up, and Mousse, Shampoo and Akane working
together to back THEM up.
"Just like old times, huh Ucchan?" Ranma grinned. "Remember
Toma? Remember the phoenix?"
Ukyou frowned. "They have nothing in common," she pointed out.
"Just one thing - together we KICKED THEIR BUTTS! HIYAAAA!"
Ranma high-kicked a goon. Ukyou smiled at him gratefully. "We
did, didn't we?" She said as she spatulad a goon into the
middle of next week.
"I hate to break into this pleasant reverie," said Akane.
"But these guyss are getting better. In fact... OW!" A punch
got through her guard.
"AKANE!" Ranma unleashed a flurry of punches, many of which
were deflected. "Damn, she's right."
Mousse exchanged a glance with Shampoo and for once found
them in agreement.
"You guys go on ahead," he said. "We'll hold them here."
"You sure bout that?" Ranma asked.
"Go!" Shampoo stopped running and stood her ground. "Ranma
no worry!" she yelled as she slipped into an intricate
dance with her bonbori. "Shampoo and Mousse fight here!"
Mousse reached into his sleeves and fired a mixture of
knives, shuriken, potato peelers and a cannonball at their
attackers. "Just get to Kazeten and punch him in the mouth
a couple of times for us!" he yelled.
***
Kazeten stared down from the cliff ledge at the battle on the
other side of the valley. The clearing mist had revealed the
locations of the group to him as he looked through some
heavy-duty binoculars.
"I must admit, I'm impressed. Your friends have made it to
the bottom of the valley and some of them have started up
this side. They might actually make it here!" He looked
at Ryoga. "They'll get here just in time to see you die."
Ryoga sneered at Kazeten. "Don't be so confident. The Nerima
crowd have faced highly-trained, equally stupid martial
artists for years. This is a walk in the park for them. They
know what to do. You might as well give up now. Cos when I
get out of these chains I'm going to break you into little
pieces and give you to Ukyou to fry on her oven."
"Your girlfriend is very pretty," said Kazeten.
"Huh?" said Ryoga. "Well, yes. Yes she is. Very pretty." he
smiled to himself.
Kazeten laughed. "Don't worry Ryoga, I'll comfort her for you
after you're gone."
"DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH MY UCCHAN!!!!"
***
"Did you hear something?" Akane asked Ranma. Ukyou's face lit
up.
"It was Ryoga! I'd know his outraged bellow anywhere!"
"Then we're close, and the mist is clearing too!" Ranma grinned.
"This is a piece of cake!"
"BAKA!!!" Akane yelled. "You just _had_ to say those words!"
"Huh?" Ranma looked around and saw a horde of violent maniacs
running towards them. "Ooops..."
Ukyou frowned. "Damn! Where are these people coming from? At
this rate we'll never reach Ryoga!"
Ranma pushed her up towards the cliff face. "Go Ucchan!" he
yelled as he unleashed a rapid-fire Amaguriken on his attackers.
"We'll be right behind you!"
Ukyou hesitated. "Ranchan..."
"GO ON!!!" screamed Akane as she ducked a punch and let fly a
fast snap kick knocking down her opponent.
Ukyou nodded. "Good luck!" she called. Quickly she made her
way to the cliff edge, dealing out vicious blows with her
giant spatula to any who attempted to stop her.
Ranma threw himself at the goons using every technique he'd
learnt during his time in Nerima. His blood was fired up, a
wild light lit his eyes... at last, a chance to really fight!
Akane's attackers were less compared to Ranma's but she was
also hard pressed. However, she wasn't worried. All the
benefits of living with Ranma and encountering varied fighting
styles were paying off as she dodged, kicked and punched her
way through the goons.
Suddenly there were no more attacks. Akane and Ranma looked
at each other over the piles of groaning men and grinned.
"C'mon," said Ranma. "We've gotta help Ucchan."
"Right." panted Akane.
"I don't think so." said a voice behind them.
They turned. Ten men and four women stood there, all dressed
in the same military style as Kazeten.
"Who are you?" Akane asked.
"We are the elite students of the Kazeten martial arts school."
one man said. "You are _not_ going to get past us."
Ranma moved into an attack position. "Oh yeah?" he drawled.
***
Shampoo flattened six men with a sweep of one bonbori.
*<Where are they coming from?>* she wondered, *<There are
so many!>*
"<Watch out Xian Pu!>" Mousse threw an anvil at the man
about to strike her from behind. Shampoo leapt aside.
"Xiexie Mu Shu!" she called.
"<No problem.>" Mousse grinned. He reached into his sleeves
again as seven more attackers bore down on him. He frowned.
"Uh oh."
"<What do you mean 'Uh oh'?>"
Mousse favoured her with a sickly grin. "<I seem to have run
out of weapons!>"
Shampoo groaned. "Stupid Mousse!"
***
Kiyone swiftly whirled and kicked a goon in the jaw. Then
she leapt into the air and threw her yoyo forward. It separated
into two parts as it swung down and took out the two men
attacking Konatsu.
Konatsu rolled away and got to his feet. "Arigato Saki-san!"
he called.
Kiyone frowned. "Just who do you think I am?"
Konatsu tossed four knives with pinpoint accuracy. "Sukaben
deka! You fight with a yoyo!"
"It's not a..." Kiyone smashed the side of her hand into a
goons neck. "... yoyo... exactly."
Konatsu threw shurinken at random attackers and bounced away
from others. "So who are you?"
"I'll tell you later." Kiyone dealt with three more goons.
"When this is over." *Hopefully you'll forget to ask.*
***
Kazeten frowned. "The mist has come back again." he said
moving away from the cliff edge.
"I told you your people couldn't win!" taunted Ryoga.
Kazeten turned on him, his face contorted with anger. "Silence
Hibiki!"
"No! I won't be silent!" Ryoga yelled. "You've lost, Kazeten.
Face it, your petty revenge is OVER!!!"
Kazeten clenched his fists. "Maybe it's time I dealt with you."
he growled.
"Just let me out of these restraints!" Ryoga demanded. "I'll
give you a proper fight!"
"Oh, I'll let you out." Kazeten smirked. "But first..." he
drew out a long knife with a serrated edge. "I need to cool
that hot blood of yours."
Ryoga stared at him. "You're going to make sure I _can't_
win!"
Kazeten walked slowly towards him. "It's tough, even for
someone like you, to sustain a fight whilst bleeding like
a stuck pig. Plus I believe you're still affected by those
tranquilizer darts."
"And you called me a coward." Ryoga's eyes were wide. "What
happened to your honour, Kazeten?"
Kazeten snarled. "You robbed me, Hibiki! Nearly ten years
ago you robbed me of my rightful superiority! From that day
I've longed to see you dead at my hands, before the
anniversary of my humiliation at your lowly hands. And now,
no one will stop me from obtaining my goal!"
"I wouldn't bet on it, sugar."
Ryoga's head whipped to the right, Kazeten whirled around.
Ukyou stood at the far end of the ledge. She was panting
slightly, but there was a look of fierce determination on
her pretty face and she gripped her giant spatula tightly.
Ryoga's heart leapt at the sight of her, but at the same time
he was furious at her for putting herself in so much danger.
"What the hell are you _doing_ here, Ukyou?!" he cried.
She looked at him in surprise. "Rescuing you, of course.
I don't want my future husband to die now do I?!"
Ryoga gaped. "Future... do you mean that?"
"Of _course_ I do, you twit!" she cried. "I love you and I
am NOT going to lose you!"
A dopey grin spread over Ryoga's face. "Honto? That's great!
I've felt that way for _ages_!"
She smiled at him. "Took you long enough to let me know."
"Hey!" he protested. "I thought you were in love with
_Ranma_!"
*Achem* Kazeten cleared his throat loudly. "I'm sure some
people would find this dialogue very sweet, but..."
Ukyou turned towards him, moving into a fighting stance.
"Yes." she interrupted him. "I'm here to kick your NO-GOOD
SCRAWNY LITTLE BUTT ALL THE WAY BACK TO JAPAN!!!"
Kazeten blinked, then he laughed. "Kuonji-san, you are a
very... intense woman." he raised an eyebrow. "I will have
to teach you not to use language like that though, it isn't
very polite."
"Like I care what _you_ think!" Ukyou hissed. "You've messed
me and Ryoga around way too much! I'm gonna make sure you
pay!"
"I don't wish to fight you." said Kazeten.
"Honey, I'm not giving you a choice!" Ukyou whipped out
several mini spatulas.
Kazeten shrugged. "Well, if you insist." he moved towards
her.
Ukyou leapt into the air. "Amaguriken... okonomiyaki style!!"
she yelled and threw the mini spatulas at high speed.
Ryoga blinked, *Amaguriken okonomiyaki style??? Ranma, what
have you been teaching her?!*
Kazeten frantically dodged the razor sharp spatulas. His eyes
went wide as the edge of one cut his cheek. Touching the
wound he stared at Ukyou as she landed.
"You... _hurt_ me!" he said increduously.
Ukyou hefted her giant spatula. "There's more where that
came from!" she promised.
Kazeten's eyes narrowed. "I see I'm going to have to teach
you a lesson, Kuonji-san."
Ryoga tugged urgently on his restraints. "Ucchan... stop."
he cried.
She shot him a reassuring glance. "Ryoga-honey, you told me
to believe in you, now you believe in me!" she turned back
to Kazeten. "Okay, take your best shot!"
Kazeten pulled himself into a fighting stance. "As you wish,
Kuonji-san."
***
"HYAAAA!" Akane screamed as she drove her foot into the
woman's solar plexus. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHIIIEEE!!!"
A mallet materialised in her hands and she brought it down
on another mans head. Then she stepped back, breathing
harshly. *These guys are GOOD*. She spared a glance in
Ranma's direction.
Ranma was in his element. Already three of the goons were
lying unconcious at his feet. He was a blur of motion, and
Akane smiled and privately acknowledged that he was
undoubtedly the best martial artist she'd ever seen.
"ARRRRR!!!" one of the men swung at her and she dodged.
Unfortunately, even the best had difficulties sometimes.
Ranma was holding off the goons, but these were _well
trained_ goons. And there were still nine of them left.
Akane blocked a bokken strike and high-kicked the mans
jaw. Then, making sure noone was looking, she stamped
on his foot. Not a proper martial art move, but it did
make him hop up and down amusingly.
Ranma grinned as he watched Akane pull the sneaky move.
Damn, he was impressed. Normally Akane was an okay martial
artist - not in his or Ryoga's league, but more than
capable of taking down your average black belt. It was
just unfortunate that they never seemed to meet any
average black belts. He rabbit punched the next man and
spun to face a new opponent when he noticed Akane's
sudden difficulty.
"_Damn_ it!" Akane felt herself overbalance on the kick.
It was just a small miscalculation, but when you were up
against someone who was utilising a series of rapid
punches that almost rivalled the amaguriken, it was
enough. She grunted as her opponent trapped her leg, and
punched her just behind the knee.
Then he did it again.
"KISAMA!!!!! BAKAYARO!!!" Ranma was suddenly there in
front of her. She watched in amazement as he lifted the
man up by his belt and flung him down the valley.
"Are you okay Akane?" Ranma asked.
"Sure," said Akane. "Just... give me a moment."
"Tell you what, you just sit here for a moment and let
me handle the rest of these losers." said Ranma.
"No way! I'm a martial artist too you know!" Once again
Akane pulled out the old phrase.
"I know but..." Ranma faltered. "Just this once, please?"
"Ohhhh..." Akane thought about it. "Okay."
Ranma grinned at her, then faced the rest of the group.
"Better prepare for trouble you jerks, come and get me!"
They all attacked, but Ranma dodged every attack, constantly
moving back and letting them come after him. Akane
recognised the attack instantly - heck, any Nerimarite would
have... she hobbled out of the way quickly.
"HIRYU... SHOTEN HAAAAAAAA!" Ranma yelled, unleashing his
mighty heavenly dragons blast. A tornado of ki power leapt
into the sky, taking the remaining goons with it. Ranma
wiped his cheek (cut sometime during the battle) and
grinned at Akane.
"Shall we move on?" he offered her his arm.
She giggled and took it, "Why thank you Mr Saotome."
Together, they stumbled up the hill.
***
Mousse grunted as he leapt away from his attackers. *<This
is not good.>* he thought. *<Hidden weapons are my forte, now
I'm stuck with hand to hand!>*
Shampoo spared a worried glance for him as she battled her
opponents. Slamming her bonbori into a goon's head she
attempted to get to him. Then she saw Mousse deliver a series
of kicks to take down his attacker. She smiled in relief.
*<He's alright. I'll... aah!>*
"MMMMeeeerrrooowww!!!" the small pink and white cat crawled
out of the cold spring.
Mousse cursed under his breath, knocking out a persistant
goon, he managed to reach Shampoo-neko and picked her up.
Grabbing one of her discarded bonboris he proceeded to take
out most of the leftover goons. Then...
"Argh!" Mousse stumbled as he was kicked from behind. He
dropped Shampoo-neko and fell to his knees. The attacher
snap kicked his jaw and Mousse collapsed. Shampoo-neko
hissed and leapt at the man's face. He howled as she raked
his face with her claws. he managed to swat her away, but
her distraction had given Mousse time to recover. Mousse
punched the man's jaw, knocking him out. He turned and
groaned when he saw two more goons heading for him. Then,
suddenly, their eyes glazed over and they toppled forward.
Mousse blinked and looking beyond them he saw Kiyone standing
there holding her yoyo weapon aloft.
"Need a hand?" she asked lightly.
Konatsu dropped down beside her and grinned at Mousse.
Mousse smiled gratefully. "Thanks, I..." his eyes widened.
"Shampoo!!" he turned and looked around for the little cat.
*cough* "Shampoo here!" Shampoo stumbled out of the mist
clutching a long coat around her. "Fell into hot pool. Took
coat from man." she explained.
"Oh... Xian Pu!" Mousse's emotion overwhelmed him and he
hugged her to him. "I was so... worried!"
Shampoo blinked. "Shampoo okay." she said. "Just have headache
and all wet." she wriggled in his arms. "Mousse can let
Shampoo go now."
Mousse pulled back. "Sorry." he mumbled. "I didn't mean..."
Shampoo's eyes softened. "Is... okay." she said.
Kiyone smiled as she watched this. "Looks like progress."
she murmured to Konatsu.
Konatsu just eyed the high cliff oppposite them. His expression
was worried as he turned to Kiyone. "Do you think Ukyou-sama
is okay?"
***
To be continued
From: Jessica <jaelle@ihug.co.nz>
Subject: [Ranma][FanFic] Magical Mystery Hibiki Tour #24
The Magical Mystery Hibiki Tour
By Jaelle and Orla
***
The characters in this story are the property of Rumiko
Takahashi-sama. We prostrate ourselves at her feet and beg her
forgiveness for our temerity in using these characters. We're
not worthy! We're not worthy!
The other characters are copyright to Yukie Nasu and Pioneer
LDC.
Hikaru Kazeten belongs to us. But we're willing to swap.
C & C is welcome (although we don't like flames!). You can
contact us at either: ladyorla@yahoo.com or jaelle@ihug.co.nz
For more of our fanfiction visit our site 'Insane Musings'at:
http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~jaelle/Jaelle_Orla.htm
***
This story occurs four years after Ranma 1/2 volume 38.
***
Part 24
***
Ukyou glared at Kazeten through slitted eyes and crouched,
spatula raised and ready for combat. *You won't get away
with this,* she thought. *I'm going to take you apart you
jerk!*
Kazeten smiled at her arrogantly and drew himself into a
fighting pose. "Last chance to walk away and live," he
told her. "It would be such a pity to snuff out such a cute
girl like you."
Ukyou's mouth snarled as she picked up the unspoken 'little'
between cute and girl. "The same to you," she said. "I'd hate
to waste all that plastic surgery!"
"Good one Ucchan!" Ryoga yelled.
"Shut up Hibiki!" Kazeten yelled. "Just for that peasant girl,
I'll mess you up so badly your own boyfriend won't be able to
recognise you!"
And with that, the battle was joined.
Spatula shone and flashed through the air as Ukyou threw a
handful of smaller ones to distract Kazeten. He deflected them
with ease and blocked her kick, returning it with one of his
own. Ukyou rolled with the blow, absorbing much of its impact,
but still feeling a bruise begin to form on her hip.
"Heh, not so confident now are you?" Kazeten sneered.
"You're a fine one to talk about overconfidence!" Ukyou
retorted. "Flour bomb!"
Kazeten was enveloped in a choking white fog, and with the small
explosions going off around him he was disoriented enough that
Ukyou's spatula sideswipe got in under his guard. Unfortunately,
she was not swift enough in pulling back and he grabbed the
spatula, twisting it out of her hands.
Ukyou landed back on the ground, rubbing her hands against her
trousers. She checked her bandolier and found herself almost
out of throwing spatulas. Kazeten landed across from her and
grinned, then snapped her spatula in two and callously flung
the pieces away.
Ukyou snarled, "That was a family heirloom!" She picked up a
rock and threw it at him. Again, Kazeten deflected it.
"Is this what you degenerate to? A small child flinging rocks
at a mighty samurai."
"You're no samurai!" yelled Ukyou. "You're nothing but a... a
... a... JACKASS!!!!" she sprang to her feet and threw herself
at Kazeten. He was unprepared for her attack and she got in
a savage kidney punch. Kazeten reeled back, face contorted in
pain and rage.
"You're going to regret that," he hissed. "HAAAA!!!!"
Ukyou pulled away from his punch. Kazeten then let the knife
in his hand come up and he sliced open her arm on the return.
"Aaaiiieee!" Ukyou grabbed her arm and tried to hold the
wound closed. "You cheater!"
Ryoga let loose a wordless bellow of rage and redoubled his
efforts at breaking free.
"Heh," said Kazeten. "Now I finish this - lightning fists!"
Ukyou reeled back as a combination of punches and ki hit her.
She stumbled back, unaware of her precarious position. Behind
her, the cliff ledge ended. Kazeten bared his teeth and laid
on even more wicked blows. Ukyou's head snapped back as one
landed on her cheek and she had just enough time to take in the
dangerous situation when her foot stepped back and encountered
thin air.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" she screamed
as she fell.
"UCCCCHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNN!!!!" the
cry tore itself out from the depths of Ryoga's heart and screamed
its way up his throat. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"
Muscles bunched against titanium restraints... and broke free.
***
Ranma looked up at the cry. Their group was almost to the top of
the hill. He recognised Ryoga's voice. Then he felt a familiar
disturbance in the ki. As though a single voice had cried out
once and then been silenced.
"Everyone... get DOWN!" he yelled.
***
Eyes blazing with hatred, Ryoga took in the sight of his mortal
enemy standing at the cliff edge and laughing! His world narrowed
to a single focus.
"SHI..."
Kazeten peered carefully down the cliff face attempting to
see through the mist. He had triumphed.
"SHI..."
He frowned and turned, "How did you get loose?"
"HOOO-KOOO-DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNN!!!!!!!!!!"
FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!
***
Ranma and the others covered their heads as massive pieces of
rock showered down around them. *I don't want to die!!* he
thought inside.
At last, there was a brief calm.
"What the HELL was THAT??!!!" demanded Kiyone.
"That was Ryoga's ultimate technique - the shi shi hokodan."
replied Akane.
"It WAS??? It's much bigger than last time! I thought it was
a large nuclear explosion." *Or a small experiment of Washu's*,
thought Kiyone.
"We better get up there! His ki energy will be pretty much
drained after that." said Mousse.
"More than that..." said Ranma. "We better go up there and
find out what happened to Ucchan."
"Huh?" said Shampoo.
"Think about it, Ryoga would NEVER use that powerful a blast
if someone he cared about was near. So where's Ucchan?"
***
Ukyou Kuonji lay on her back and wished she was dead. *Ow.
Ow. Ow. Ow. Owowowowowowowowoowowowowowowowow!* She felt
herself gingerly for injuries, then stopped when she
realised that most of the pain was from her sprained wrist
and her cut arm. She opened her eyes and confusion flickered
over her face.
She was lying about a metre down from the cliff edge, on a
narrow outcropping which had been invisible in the mist.
The mist was now gone, as was most of the cliff, but these
were not the inexplicable things.
*Why,* wondered Ukyou. *Is Kazeten flying through the air.*
She watched him go. It was quite a distance. Even Akane on
her best days could never have matched that sort of speed
or trajectory. That was really going to hurt when he landed.
Slowly, she sat up. Carefully she unlatched her bandolier
and wrapped it around and around her wrist to brace it. Then
she pulled the ribbon out of her hair to wrap around her
wound.
*Hmmmm... lemme see. I was fighting Kazeten, then I fell.
He was sneering, man I hope Ryoga beats the crap out of him.
Ryoga... Oh my god, RYOGA!*
"RYOGA!" Ukyou jumped up, using that traditional martial arts
technique which defies gravity and ran to the top of what
used to be the hilltop. It was now considerably lower, and
there was a huge crater in the middle.
"RYOGA!" Ukyou raced down into the crater. At the very bottom
she found Ryoga, unconcious. "RYOGA!" she threw herself down
beside him and gently lifted his head into her lap. "Ryoga?"
she asked questioningly. Tears dripped down her face.
"No! No! No! RYOGA!!!!"
Ryoga stirred slightly in his dreams. *No fair, even in my
dreams I'm injured? Ow... pain... hurts... What the heck is
that noise???*
"Ryoga! Ryoga don't you dare be dead! You're not allowed to
be dead dammit I didn't give you permission! I FORBID you to
be dead. Wake up... wake up..." Ukyou shook him. "Come on,
wake up. Wake up and say 'where am I now?' WAKE UP DAMN
YOU!!!!"
Ryoga cracked open an eye. "Nrgh..." he managed coherently.
"*Gasp* Ryoga? RYOGA!" Ukyou let go of his head. It tumbled
off her lap and thumped into the rock ground.
"Ittaiii..." Ryoga moaned. "Haven't I been punished enough?"
"You're alive!"
"Oh. Good." Ryoga managed. He tried to get up. "So are you."
he thought about this. "I thought you were dead."
"Nope," said Ukyou, grinning maniacally.
"Oh. Good." Ryoga sat up. "Are you MMMMPPPHHH!!!!"
Ukyou grabbed him and gave him the biggest kiss he'd ever
received from anyone.
"Mmmm... mmmm? MMMMMMM!!!!" Ryoga's arms waved frantically and
he began to turn blue.
"Ucchan... Ucchan you have to get off him. UKYOU! LET THE MAN
BREATHE!" Ranma hollered in her ears. "Somebody help me get
her off him."
With a sound much like a suction cup being ripped away
Ukyou's lips parted from Ryoga's. Ryoga promptly toppled back
to the floor.
"I don't think he's breathing," said Kiyone. "We may have to
give him mouth to mouth resuscitation."
"I volunteer!" yelled Ukyou.
"NO!!!" Ranma handed her to Akane and reached down to shake
Ryoga's shoulder. "Hey... Ryoga... hey... here piggy piggy
piggy."
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A PIG?!!" demanded Ryoga. "Oh my GOD
I hurt all over!"
Everyone laughed. Eventually they all got themselves sorted
out and began to head back to the bus.
"Shampoo wondering... what happen to violent maniac boy??"
asked Shampoo.
***
"....aaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"
*SPLASH*
"Oh, too bad sir..."
***
The battered band made up of the Nerima crowd and Kiyone
limped back to the bus. On the way they passed piles of
goons, Ryoga's eyes widened.
"Where did Kazeten get all these people?" he asked.
Konatsu handed him a card. "We found this on one." he said.
Ryoga read the card. "'Worldwide Goons Inc. You supply the
target and we'll supply you with the body. No job too large.
Special discount for groups.' What the...?"
Ranma, who was supporting him, nodded. "Yup, out of all these
guys only fourteen belonged to the Kazeten school. Rather
pathetic, ne?"
"I'll say." said Ukyou who was leaning on Akane. "Oh well,
it's over now, we can get on the bus and... oh my God."
The bus was... totalled. It was twisted into an odd shape
and all the windows were broken. Heaps of goons lay around
it and on the top were sitting Nabiki, Godai, Mikado, Miya
and Suka. They all looked rather shaken, but not stirred.
"The... bus... it's..."
"Shampoo say it dead." Shampoo observed. Mousse put a hand
over her mouth. "Shhhh!"
"What happened?!" Akane asked as the others got down from
their perch.
"Well..." Godai achemed. "It was a rather fraught battle.
Ummmm... there were a lot of goons and..."
"You _killed_ the bus! MY bus!" wailed Ukyou. Then she
turned on Mikado and grabbed him by the throat. "What did
you _do_ to it?!!!"
"ME?!" Mikado protested. "I was just trying to drive AWAY!
Then that nutcase over there started using this ray-gun!
All hell broke loose!"
All eyes turned to Nabiki who sweatdropped slightly.
Kiyone walked towards her. "Nabiki," she said. "my gun?"
Nabiki slowly pulled out Kiyone's gun. "Uh... I used a
higher setting than you had it on before." she confessed.
Everyone now stared at Kiyone. "What kinda weapon _is_
that?" Mousse asked.
"Is it like the yoyo?" Konatsu asked.
"The WHAT???" Miya cried.
Kiyone licked her lips. "Ummmm... Nabiki, give me the
gun, please."
"Sure." Nabiki made no move to return it, instead she eyed
the green-haired woman suspiciously. "Just as soon as you
tell me, us, _who_ you are, I thought you said you were
a cop."
Kiyone sweatdropped. "Well... I _am_ a cop, just a alien
one."
Jaws dropped around her. Kiyone fidgeted slightly. "I...
uh... belong to the Galaxy Police Force. I'm currently
stationed on Earth."
Nabiki raised an eyebrow. "So, you have a spaceship then?"
"Sure, it's just being repaired now. My stupid partner
crashed it into the rings of Saturn."
"Ooookay." said Suka, he shook his head. "This is too weird."
"I would almost agree with you." said Nabiki, then she smiled
at Kiyone. "But I've lived in Nerima too long to be phased
by stuff like this." she handed the gun back to Kiyone.
Kiyone smiled back. "Thanks, Nabiki."
Godai shrugged. "Well, that answers that."
"Yeah, I thought she was Sukeban Deka or something cool like
that." sighed Konatsu in disappointment.
"Shampoo no think this is big deal."
"After all, there was that incident with that girl in the
tiger striped bikini a couple of years back." said Akane.
"This isn't too new."
"She had green hair too, didn't she?" asked Ranma.
Kiyone shook her head and laughed. *Why couldn't I live with
this lot instead of the mayhem at the Shrine?*
"This is all very well," said Ukyou. "But we have a problem."
"Yeah." said Ryoga. "How are we going to get back to Japan?"
Mousse looked at the bus. "Yes, I don't think we'll get far
in _that_."
***
"Just a little further... just a liiiiittle further..." Ryoga
coaxed. "Just a liiiiiiiiittle...."
The bus gave a coughing gasp and died. Everyone got out and
gathered around it in silence.
"Well," said Mousse. "At least it got us back into a town."
*Sniff* "It was such a good little bus... always so kind and
reliable and waaaaaahhh!!!!" Konatsu wailed.
Mikado's eyes trembled. "Ah... such a sweet-hearted girl.
Allow me to comfort you." He reached for Konatsu.
*Eeep!* thought everyone else.
"Mmmmmm..." Mikado kissed Konatsu. Konatsu stood stock
still much like a rock, eyes wide in denial. Finally, Mikado
parted from him. He flipped his fringe. "Feel better?"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!"
Konatsu fled into the buses kitchen, gargling sounds soon
emitted from it.
"Ah, how sweet," said Mikado.
Ryoga turned around. "Geez Mikado, before we went on this
trip I'd never realised that you were gay."
"Huh?" said Mikado.
"But ever since I've met you you've done nothing but kiss
boys."
"What are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about 'the pig-tailed one'..."
Mikado scowled. "That was once!"
"Then there was Tsubasa. You know, the one that came out of
a pot plant."
"What about her?"
"You mean, what about him?"
Mikado stared at Ryoga. "You're kidding. But he looked so...
so..."
"We know," said Ukyou, Ranma and Akane.
"And now poor sweet Konatsu," said Ryoga. "You've really
shattered his world."
"His??" Mikado's eyes bugged out. Behind him, Konatsu
stepped back off the bus. "Didn't you know?" he asked.
"Check it out!"
Konatsu opened his blouse and revealed a very muscled and
manly chest.
Mikado stared at Konatsu. "You... you're a... a..."
"One hundred per cent man," said Konatsu. "I was just
raised as a girl."
"And continue to act like one," Ranma muttered.
"I... I kissed... THREE MEN???!!!" Mikado screamed.
"AGH!" he zoomed into the bus' kitchen.
"I wouldn't do that sugar!" Ukyou yelled. "The bus looks like
it's about to..."
BOOM
"Collapse. Oops."
***
After Mikado had been dragged free from the wreckage and
arrangements had been made with the local scrap metal
merchant to dispose of the remains of the bus...
"No Ukyou, you may not give it an honourable burial."
"*Sob* My baby!"
"Oh man. Don't worry Ucchan, we'll have lots of babies,"
said Ryoga.
"But none of them will be like this one!" Ukyou wailed.
Everyone sweatdropped.
"Well I certainly HOPE not," said Ryoga.
The group sat round a table at the train station and waited
for the train to Shanghai.
"Well... it was a good run while it lasted," said Kiyone.
"Yeah, it was definitely the best holiday _I've_ ever had,"
said Suka.
"It's just a pity it had to end this way." said Ranma. "So
what will you two do now that your tour business is out of
business?"
"I don't know," said Ukyou. "I guess go back to Ucchans
and..." she trailed off suddenly as a look of horror crossed
her face. "Oh NO!!!"
"What's the matter dear?" Nabiki inquired with an evil grin.
"Don't tell me you didn't break even?"
"We would have broken even," Ukyou said. "If the bus hadn't
died, but now no way did we make enough to pay back your
loan."
"How sad," purred Nabiki.
"Hang on, hang on!" said Akane. "What's going on?"
"Well, I had to borrow some money from Nabiki." explained
Ukyou. "And I had to secure the loan with _something_ so..."
"Oh no, you didn't..." said Ranma.
Ukyou nodded.
"Nabiki," protested Akane. "You can't just take the
restaurant and throw Ukyou out on the street!"
"I wasn't going to," said Nabiki. "I need a good cook at
the restaurant. I'm sure we can work out a fair contract."
Tears filled Ukyou's eyes. It was over, it was all over.
The only thing she could truly call her own now was Ryoga's
love. Even all her spatulas were gone - destroyed in all the
fighting. Ryoga put an arm around her shoulders. "Don't
worry Ucchan," he said. "I told you at the start you could
have my money and I meant it!"
"Sure," said Ranma. "Like you have a lot of cash."
"Cash no... but I do have all these plastic things which the
banks tell me are worth something." With that, Ryoga pulled
his wallet out and flipped it open. Credit cards spilled all
over the table. The group stared at them. The cards glinted
golden in the light. Nabiki picked one up. "American Express...
Visa... Mastercard... Bank of Hongkong... Bank of New
Zealand... Midland Bank... Bank of Siberia... Tarak Nor Bank...
Ryoga... where did you GET ALL OF THESE???!!!"
Ryoga shrugged. "Wherever I was working I'd always get them
to pay me half in cash and half into a local bank - that way,
I wouldn't be bothered carrying around lots of cash. You
should see my coin collection at home. It was getting silly.
And the banks all gave me these."
Nabiki grabbed a handful of the golden cards. "You don't mind
if I just check the balances of these do you?"
"Go ahead," Ryoga waved with one hand. Ukyou was hanging onto
the other arm, hyperventilating.
Nabiki made a couple of calls and then hung up, a stunned
expression on her face. "Ryoga... if I weren't married...
I'd... You have..." the figure she named was fairly
astronomical. "And that's just in these few cards."
"So it's enough to pay you back and save Ucchans?" Ryoga
asked anxiously.
"Oh yeah." Nabiki was in shock. "I can't believe it."
"I can't believe it either! Oh RYOGA!" Ukyou grabbed him.
"Not agai...MMMMMMMM!!!"
Everyone politely looked away.
***
The surprise solvency of Ryoga meant the group bumped
themselves up to first class on the train. Ukyou busied
herself with sorting out his assets, after an inquiry
to Ryoga resulted in a shrug and a comment of "Martial
artists don't worry about that sort of thing."
Ukyou nailed him with a glare. "Yes honey, but we're going
to have to think about these things if we're going to
get _married_."
"Oh yeah," said Ryoga. "I forgot about that. What can I do?"
"Tell me how much this sum translates to in yen," Ukyou
answered.
"Hmmm..."
***
In the next compartment, Shampoo and Mousse were talking.
"And so..." said Mousse, wrapping up his carefully prepared
argument. "_That_ is why we shouldn't obey the stupid Amazon
Law and get married."
"Okay," said Shampoo.
"Now don't... what?"
"Okay," said Shampoo. "<If you don't want to get married, we
won't get married.>"
Mousse let out a breath. "Ummm... okay. Well then, I guess
this will be goodbye."
"Why?"
"Because... you're going back to Japan and I have a career
in Hong Kong to get back to?" Mousse guessed.
Shampoo raised an eyebrow. "<But I'm not going back to Japan.>"
"<Then, you're going back to the village?>"
"<Nope, I'm coming with you to Hong Kong.>" Shampoo grinned
at him. "<Somebody has to protect you from all those stupid
girls after all.>"
Mousse looked at her hard. "<This won't change anything,>" he
warned. "<I'm still angry with you.>"
Shampoo shrugged. "We see."
***
"So how about getting married at Yokohama?" asked Ryoga.
"Huh?" Ukyou came back down to planet earth. "What?"
"Mawwiage." said Ryoga. "Mawwiage is what bwings us here
togever, today..."
"What???!!!"
"Yokohama," said Ryoga patiently. "Wedding. Us. Marriage.
Married. Fancy white dresses. Cake. BIIIIIG party. You like
yes?"
"I... I... I..." Ukyou thought. She thought of her father
and his casual hints over the phone of how he'd like to see
grandchildren someday... She thought about Ranma and Akane.
Then she thought about Nerima. About all their friends and
enemies and the ways they would undoubtedly screw it all up
if they went back unmarried.
"What a good idea," she said. "Just one thing... you never
proposed to me."
"Yes I did, I even bought you a ring!" Ryoga was insulted.
"But you didn't, you know, get down on your knees and _ask_
me with a flowery romantic incredibly mushy sappy poem or
something," said Ukyou plaintively.
"Are you sure you want that?" Ryoga asked.
"Yes!"
"Okaaay." Ryoga got down on one knee. "Oh Ukyou, most
rapturest light of my life. Will you take this most
unworthy one as your husband, protector, provider, and sex
toy? I would gladly dedicate my soul to your happiness, and
pray that you will... I can't stand it anymore." he stood up
and grabbed her face in his hands.
"Marry me wench," he said, and kissed her ferociously.
A few hours later, when Ukyou had got her breath back, she
accepted his proposal.
to be continued
From: Jessica <jaelle@ihug.co.nz>
Subject: [Ranma][FanFic] Magical Mystery Hibiki Tour #25
The Magical Mystery Hibiki Tour
By Jaelle and Orla
***
The characters in this story are the property of Rumiko
Takahashi-sama. We prostrate ourselves at her feet and beg her
forgiveness for our temerity in using these characters. We're
not worthy! We're not worthy!
The other characters are copyright to Yukie Nasu and Pioneer
LDC.
Hikaru Kazeten belongs to us. Wherever he is.
C & C is welcome (although we don't like flames!). You can
contact us at either: ladyorla@yahoo.com or jaelle@ihug.co.nz
For more of our fanfiction visit our site 'Insane Musings'at:
http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~jaelle/Jaelle_Orla.htm
***
This story occurs four years after Ranma 1/2 volume 38.
***
Part 25
***
Ukyou leaned her head on Ryoga's shoulder. "You need a
tuxedo."
"I'll hire one."
"You can _buy_ one now."
"What would I do with it after the wedding?"
"Wear it to Ranma and Akane's wedding. You are the best man,
remember?"
"Oh yeah. He's not going to be very happy about this."
Ukyou lifted her head. "Whatever do you mean?"
Ryoga grinned. "Let's just say we have this competition
thing going and I'm winning so far."
"WHAT??!!!"
Ryoga held up his hands. "I'm kidding! I'm kidding!"
Ukyou humphed and then settled back down. "Okay, I need a
dress."
"The silver one would be nice." Ryoga said absently.
"Baka!" Ukyou glared at him. "I'm not wearing _that_ as
my wedding dress! I want a proper dress with satin and
lace and stuff."
"Okay, get a dress then." Ryoga gave up arguing.
"We should invite all of our closest friends!"
"But... they're already here!"
"Oh yeah. What shall we do about invitations?"
Ryoga rolled his eyes and leaned out into the corridor.
"HEY EVERYONE!" he bellowed. "UKYOU AND I ARE GETTING
MARRIED IN YOKOHAMA."
"Kay," chorused back several people. Followed by, "What
did he just say???"
"Man, I don't believe this - Ryoga's getting to do
EVERYTHING before me!"
"Shut up Ranma."
***
Yokohama:
It was a perfect wedding. It was so perfect in fact that
we're not going to write much about it since, in a freak
occurence - absolutely nothing went wrong. Well, except
for a brief hiatus when Ryoga went the wrong way down
the aisle.
The bride wore white, (although some people debated she
should)and she was quite radiant with joy.
The groom wore a tuxedo and looked like the happiest man
alive. Which he probably was at that point in time.
The guests behaved themselves, Akane was too busy crying
to argue with Ranma who was best man, and Mousse was just
happy to not be recognised. Konatsu got to be the bridesmaid,
whilst Nabiki was the maid of honour, and Mikado was tied
up with tape and dumped in a closet - though they let him
out for the reception.
Suka and Miya spent the entire time looking into each
others eyes and making everyone else nauseous. They only
awoke to catch the bouquet and garter respectively.
Kiyone sniffled through the entire thing, but this could
be due to the slight cold she'd caught.
Godai spent most of the ceremony imagining himself and
Kyoko in place of Ryoga and Ukyou but this was normal for
him.
Shampoo just sat quietly up the back, and watched Mousse.
And then it was all over... and time to go home.
***
"Bye Shampoo! I hope you never came back!" Ukyou carolled,
waving from the dock as the ship began to sail away.
"Ukyou!" said Ryoga in shock.
"She's only saying what we're all thinking," said Ranma.
"I wouldn't mind seeing Mousse again, but Shampoo I can
happily live without."
"Take care you guys!" Mousse yelled. "I'll send you tickets
to my next movie!"
"Shampoo see you sometime soon!" Shampoo yelled from the
boat.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHH!"
"Ah, she wasn't _that_ bad," said Godai.
"Actually, she was kind of cute," said Mikado. Everyone
thumped him and then boarded the train.
***
Godai got off at his train station. "Bye guys, it's been...
different. Keep in touch Suka, Ryoga, Ranma! I need some
good news!"
"I hope everything works out for you with whatshername," said
Ukyou.
"Kyoko." said everyone else.
"Oh yeah, how could I forget?"
"Bye! Keep safe! Stay away from the water!" various people
shouted.
Godai waved as the train began to move, and turned to see the
gang from Maison Ikkoku coming to greet him. Kyoko out in
front. He grinned and began to walk towards them when Kiyone,
Nabiki, Ukyou, Miya, Konatsu, Akane and Ranma-chan leaned
out the windows and shouted, "BYE GODAI-CHAN!" in sultry
voices. Godai sweatdropped.
***
"You guys don't have to take me _up_ to the shrine you
know," said Kiyone.
"But we really want to meet these people," said Ranma. "They
sound almost as weird as us."
"Can anyone else hear a high, shrieking, annoying sound?"
asked Mikado.
"KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!"
"My life is over!" tears poured down Kiyone's face as a
blonde bombshell latched on to her legs.
"OH KIYONE I WAS SO SAAAAD WITHOUT YOU DON'T LEEEEAVE ME
KIYONE! KIYONE! KIYONE!" Mihoshi babbled.
"..."
***
"We're almost home!" yelled Suka, "And a day earlier too!
This is our apartment, would you all like to come in for..."
He opened the door on an unimaginable chaos. Mitsuru looked
up from the bean-bag. "Oops. Hi, you're back early."
Suka looked at the disaster area that was once his home. His
face contorted.
"I told you he'd be mad!" Shun yelled, backing away. "
Suka-chan... think of your blood pressure... Suka-chan!"
Miya grabbed Suka's arm. "Breathe," she instructed him. "At
least it's still standing."
Shinobu walked out of the kitchen. "Oh hello Shun, visiting
again? Suka! Miya! You're back early. Oh, hello Kuonji."
"Ack!" was Ukyou's coherent response.
Ryoga looked at her curiously. "How does he know you?"
"I... ah... I..."
While this was going on, Konatsu and Shun circled each other.
Finally, they stopped, and pointed, "Are you...?"
"Oh hey Kuonji, didn't see you there," said Mitsuru. "Well,
looks like you finally sorted your gender issue out."
"I never had a gender issue!" Ukyou retorted.
"Well, you have to admit it was a bit odd you being a girl
at our boys school, and staying in an all boys dorm."
"You WHAT???!!!"
"Calm down Ryoga, I can explain."
"Who's this?" asked Shinobu.
"My, ah, husband."
"Oh congratulations. Don't worry, nothing happened. We all
kept an eye out and gave her privacy."
"You mean you KNEW???!!!" Ukyou was shocked.
"Well, I have to admit you had us all fooled for the first
two days."
"TWO DAYS???!!! I was there for SIX MONTHS!!!!"
"And what fun months they were too," grinned Shinobu.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!!"
***
"And don't you ever darken my doorstep again!" Ryoga roared.
"Now Ryoga, Mikado's been a loyal employee." said Ukyou, she
rubbed her hand.
"HE KISSED YOU!!!!"
"Only on the hand! Only on the hand! It's alright, he's
sorry!"
"Very very sorry," mumbled Mikado, sporting a lovely black
eye.
As they left Konatsu stopped and turned. "Bye bye Mikado
honey!" he said in a cutesy voice.
*Thud*
***
"Nabiki!"
"Kuno my husband!"
"Nabiki my wife! Come to my arms!"
Nabiki ran towards Kuno. "My husband!" she cried.
"My wife!"
Everyone stared in shock and horror. "What the HELL???!"
demanded Akane.
"Oh hello Miss Akane," said Sasuke. "Don't worry, it's a
ritual which Mistress Nabiki must perform. It makes Master
Kuno very happy."
"Okay, but it's still freaking me out. Can we leave now?"
said Ranma.
Ukyou tapped Ryoga on the shoulder. "Don't let this give
you ANY ideas! I am not greeting you like this no matter
HOW long you've been away."
"Yes dear."
"AND STOP DOING THAT!!!!"
Ryoga grinned. "Of course dear."
*CLANG*
"What a beautiful relationship," said Sasuke.
***
"We're hooome!" Akane yelled as she walked through the
front gates.
"AKANNEEE! MY LITTLE GIRL!" Soun Tendo ran out and
threw himself at Akane. "You're safe!"
Akane sweatdropped. "I was on a TOUR dad, it was all..." she
thought about it. "Mostly completely safe. Shall we go
inside before we get the details out."
Ukyou looked back at the gate. "Maybe we should..."
"No no Ucchan, come inside, have some tea, take a load off."
"Please," wheezed Ryoga from underneath their bags. Konatsu
nodded beside him, too tired to speak.
"Well," said Ukyou, swapping her bag from one hand to the
other. "Okay."
They went into the house, Soun crying all the way. As they
went there was a rather muted argument between Ukyou and
Ryoga.
"Why do _I_ have to carry almost everything?"
"But you're so _strong_ honey."
"..."
***
Inside the main room they were all seated. "Kasumi! My baby's
home!"
"Welcome home!" Kasumi came out of the kitchen, followed by
Dr Tofu and carrying the twins. "How was the trip?"
"Oh it was great! We had a lot of fun, wound up taking
an unexpected trip to Burma..." Akane went for it. "Blew
up a couple of major buildings, almost got arrested as
international terrorists, fought Ryoga's arch-nemesis,
oh and Ryoga and Ukyou got married."
"Oh my," said Kasumi. "How nice for you!"
Akane pounded her fist against the floor in frustration.
"One day! One day I'm going to make her say something else!"
Kasumi just smiled.
***
Later that night Ryoga and Ukyou staggered inside the front
door of Ucchans. Konatsu had decided to accept Kasumi's offer
of a bed at the dojo for the next week while he "sorted a
couple of things out".
Ryoga dumped his load on the floor.
"Home sweet home!" said Ukyou. "I'm so happy to be back!
Boy we've got a lot of work to do if we're going to be open
first thing tomorrow!"
"What??!!!" Ryoga cried. "You're joking."
"Hey, we've got to earn a living," said Ukyou.
"We don't have to earn a living! I have lots of money!"
"And what are you going to do when it all runs out? You
don't have _that_ much money." Ukyou reminded him.
"Errr..."
"Didn't think of that, did you?" she inquired sweetly.
Ryoga sighed. "Can't we have a holiday?" he asked
plaintively.
"We've just BEEN on holiday!"
"I mean a PROPER holiday - you and me... spending a holiday
as husband and wife... you know - a honeymoon!"
"Oh," said Ukyou. "I hadn't thought of that."
"Think of it," said Ryoga. "Quiet, peace, just you and me...
and we don't have to get up all day."
"Hmmm..." said Ukyou. "That does sound kind of nice. And it
would be good to get away while all of the renovations are
going on."
"What renovations?"
"Well, this restaurant has now got to accomodate two
married people... and possibly extra." she said shyly.
"Oh yeah," said Ryoga. "Yeah." He smiled at her.
They kissed.
***
Six Months Later:
"Honey, I'm home!!!!" Ryoga entered the back door and shook
the snow off his umbrella. He made his way to the restaurant
kitchen.
"Ryo-chan!" Ukyou turned and ran over to him. They hugged and
the restaurant patrons smiled at this demostration of
affection.
Ukyou pulled back. "Wow, it's only been three days!" she
said. "I thought you'd be gone a week at least!"
Ryoga smiled. "I guess, I got lucky."
"Someone showed you the way, huh?"
He sweatdropped. "Heh heh... yes."
Ukyou turned and waved over Konatsu who was waiting tables.
The cute ninja bounced over. "Hi Ryoga-sama!" he said.
"Hi Konatsu, did you get the new table for your apartment?"
Konatsu beamed. "Hai! And the heating is _much_ better now."
"Konatsu, can you take over at the grill for a while?" Ukyou
asked. "Leave the tables to Lina, the crowd has died down a
bit so she should be able to handle it."
"Hai, itsujo!"
Ryoga and Ukyou made their way upstairs to the main room.
Ryoga settled himself down and sighed. "It's good to be
home." he said.
Ukyou poured him some tea and sat down opposite him. "A
letter arrived for you." she said handing him a slim envelope.
Ryoga took it. "Odd... hey! It's from my _mother_!" he quickly
pursued the contents. "Well, she and Dad finally made it
home - together - and read the note I left explaining that
we'd gotten married and I was taking Checkers and her puppies
with me."
"That's good." said Ukyou who was stroking one of the afore
mentioned puppies. "How did they take the news?"
"Well, they're very happy and they think you look like a
very pretty and responsible woman." Ryoga grinned at her.
"I told you that was a good photo."
Ukyou frowned slightly. "I never said it was _bad_, just that
there were better ones."
"Anyway," Ryoga continued. "They plan to come and see us
soon, that will mean we'll see them in about a year."
"Well it would be nice to _finally_ meet them." Ukyou
commented, she looked through the other letters on the table.
"Hey!" she cried. "We've got a postcard from _Mousse_!"
Ryoga looked up from his letter. "Well, _finally_." he said.
"He hasn't written to us since Ranma and Akane's wedding."
Ukyou read the back of the postcard and her jaw dropped.
"Oh my." she said.
"What?"
"He and Shampoo got married in secret two days ago!"
Ryoga raised an eyebrow. "Well, well." he said. "Why in
secret?"
"To stop his fans from suiciding he says." Ukyou shook her
head. "_I_ think they're both afraid of how Cologne is
going to react."
"Well, she wasn't very happy about Shampoo staying with him."
Ukyou put the postcard down and placed her chin on her
inerlaced fingers. "Damn, I wish I'd read this before I saw
Akane-chan at Dr Tofu's clinic." she commented.
Ryoga smiled. "How is she doing?"
"Oh, okay. She says that being pregnant isn't much fun
though." said Ukyou with a small sigh. "All the nausea and
stuff."
"Oh." said Ryoga, then he frowned. "What were _you_ doing
at the clinic?"
Ukyou straightened. "Ah... Ryo-chan, I have something
important to tell you. And I'm _not_ making it up this time."
***
Epilogue:
"Ryoga!"
Ryoga turned. Ranma stood in the doorway. "The hospital
called me and told me Ukyou was in labour, how're you holding
up?"
"I'mjustfine..." said Ryoga. "Excepttheythrewmeoutofthe
operatingroomsoIdon'tknowwhat'sgoingon.... AAAAAAGH!!!"
Ryoga was almost vibrating with nervous energy. Ranma eyed
his friend nervously.
"Hey, chill man," he said. "Remember, I went through this a
couple of months ago when _my_ son was born. It'll be okay.
Ukyou's strong... she's tough, she knows what to do, she's
a martial artist and used to pain, she's... got good hips."
he ended lamely.
"WHYISITTAKINGSOLOOOOONNNGGGG!!!" Ryoga howled. In anguish
he began to beat his head against a pillar. Ranma looked at
the rest of the broken pillars and made a quick mental
calculation about the structural integrity of the hospital.
"Why don't we take a walk?" he suggested. "Let me tell you
about my son."
Ranma walked Ryoga round and round the hospital till they
were beginning to wear a groove in the ground and regaled
him with stories about his two-month old son Sorata. His
every move was a source of great amazement to his parents.
"... and then he stuck his foot in his mouth and sucked
his little toes!" said Ranma.
"I see he's already following the family tradition," said
Ryoga, who was beginning to come back to himself.
"Hey!" Ranma glared and his battle aura flared. "I'll have
you know Hibiki, that MY son can beat YOUR son any day of
the week!"
"HA!" said Ryoga. "MY son's gonna beat the tar out of YOUR
son!"
"Oh yeah?"
"YEAH!"
"Uh, Mr Hibiki?"
"WHAT?!" Ryoga turned on the startled nurse. "Your wife has
finished giving birth... congratulations! You're a father!"
Ryoga stopped. An expression of divine bliss spread across
his face. "I'm... I'm a FATHER!!!" Tears poured down his
face. "Oh happy day!"
"Congratulations man," said Ranma. "Now, about that fight..."
"Is baby okay? What about Ukyou?" Ryoga demanded.
The nurse patted his arm. "Your wife is fine, and the baby
is too. A beautiful, strong, healthy..."
Ryoga's smile spread over his entire face.
"Baby girl."
There was a pause.
"A girl?" asked Ranma.
"That's right, she's the cutest thing you ever saw!" said the
nurse. "They're in room 68." She left the duo.
"Whoa," said Ranma. "Didn't see that one coming. Oh well,
guess the battle's off Ryoga. Ryoga?"
"A daughter! I have a sweet beautiful DAUGHTER!!!" Ryoga
gushed. "I'm so happy!"
"That's nice." said Ranma. "Now stop crying on my shirt."
"I have a daughter!"
"I know! And I'm sure she's a very NICE daughter." said
Ranma. Then a stray thought crossed his mind and he laughed.
"What?"
"I just had a silly thought," said Ranma. "Since you had a
girl and I had a boy, maybe we should engage them! URK!!!"
The front of his shirt was grabbed and Ranma was jerked
off his feet. Ryoga glared at him, battle aura incandescent.
"That's... NOT... funny!"
The End.
Or is it? Nyahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!