[Senkusha]

13th Age: You can do the thing, but you can do a better thing if you roll even.

3:16 Carnage Amongst the Stars: Is the thing conductive to exterminating an until now unknown lifeform? Go right ahead!

7th Sea: Only if the thing is properly dramatic!

Aberrant Of course you can do the thing, you can do the thing better than any baseline. Now roll for taint, while I pick a mutation you're going to get from it.

Actual Cannibal Shia Labeouf: You can do the thing, but only if you roll below your HP.
 
Pugmire: See Dungeons and Dragons, but with occasional barking.

Adeptus Evangelion: You cannot do the thing. However, you can spend 4 luck to retroactively have the designers of the facility put a trapdoor in this entirely inappropriate place so you can try to do the thing. Then you go insane.

ADnD 2.0: You can do the thing, but you need a math degree to figure out if it actually hits the target.

All of out Bubblegum How tired is your jaw from cramming more bubblegum than should be biologically possible?

All Outta Bubblegum: How many sticks of gum do you have left?

Amptgard LARP: Doing the Thing takes an out-loud count of 3.

Apocalypse World: Yes you can do the thing, unless you roll less than a seven, in which case you end up naked, locked up in a shipping container by mutant cannibals.

Apocalypse World: Yes you can do the thing, unless you roll less than a seven, in which case you end up naked, locked up in a shipping container by mutant cannibals.

Ars Magica: do you want to change the thing (Muto), make a whole new thing (Creo), or control the thing (Rego)? I guess the thing is an idea, or maybe it's just made of earth . . . okay, get a bunch of d10s now . . . oh, your grog just stepped up and did the thing while you were working on that. Maybe you should learn a Do the Thing rote.

Ars Magica: you can do the thing after your character spends 20 years locked in a tower only eating muesli and contemplating the essence of semi skimmed milk.

Ars Magica: You can totally do the thing, if you have literally spent years of study on the thing and aren't being attacked! If you haven't studied/are stressed/wounded/have a slightly stiff neck, be prepared to spend years fixing the disastrous results of trying to do the thing!

Baldur's Gate - the level at which you get the thing means you can only do it for the last 5 minutes of the game.

Battletech: You do the thing, now roll a D6 piloting check to see if you face plant your giant robot like a doofus with two left feet.

Blades in the Dark: You can do the thing, but only if you tell us how you planned weeks ago for the eventuality of the thing.

Burning Empires While you are busy doing the thing, aliens take over your world and turn everyone you care about into mindless puppets.

Burning Wheel: You can do the thing, but you'll fail and you'll never be able to do the thing again.

Call of Cthulhu: The thing does you. 

Call of Cthulu: You can do the thing, but you REALLY don't want to.

Cavemaster the thing is not known to your tribe, indeed your people may lack the mental faculties to do the thing at all.

COMIC Do you have a superpower that could possibly let you do the thing? Yes? What level is that superpower? 4? You do the thing, and the enemy takes 4d20 fire damage as you do the thing.

Continuum You can do the thing, but check your span journal, in case if you've done the thing already. If you did, take frag.

Continuum: You already did the thing, but doing the thing meant that you created a timeline where no one was willing to actually play Continuum with you.

Corporation: You can do the thing, but in the process uncover a mole who's attempting to assist a rogue AI to steal valuable secrets about your corporation and sell them to your direct rival, which could seriously cut into your profit margins. The thing went well, though. Good job on the thing. Here, have a bonus.

Cybergeneration: Drop your goombas, maximal mailman, because the DeadGuys are after The Gus' Appaloosa.

Cyberpunk 2020: You do the thing, several people die, including you.

D&D 4E CharOp: Don't do the thing unless you read a forum post advising you to do it. Also, if you can't do the thing before the enemies act in combat, it's pointless.

D&D 4E Non-Combat: You can do the thing, but don't count on the rules telling us how to handle it. In fact, it's more fashionable not to bother checking the rulebooks for any.

D&D 4E with bad GM/players: You can't do the thing unless you have a power card that describes it perfectly.

D&D 4e: Do you have the Do Thing power?

D&D 4E: You can do the thing, but you're probably using an outdated version of any feats and powers involved; check the Essential Essentials Player's Guide 13 for the latest ones. Also, when you do the thing make sure we've factored in the effects of combat advantage, marks, cover, stealth, range, LoS, the twenty-plus other possible benefits and conditions, and of course Wintertouched, Lasting Frost and World Serpent's Grasp (we all know your character has those feats.)

D&D 5e: The Bard can do The Thing. Probably better than you can.

D&D 5e: You don't have Thing proficiency, but I'll let you try it with disadvantage anyway because it seems reasonable for you to try doing the Thing.

Dark Heresy (if you try something with psychic powers): your attempt at the thing ended with a demonic incursion, sprouting an extra set of eyes and the growth of a tentacle where your belly button was. You're now a crippled, insane, chaos-beast at the center of a surprise demon blood orgy.

Dark Heresy(2e) Of course you can do the thing, in fact I think a saw a table for it somewhere around the things. Hrm... I'm looking at the things but I don't see the thing anywhere, but there's some cool rules for thingamajigs. Maybe it's in the stuff section? No, not there. The activities supplement? No, but man that looks cool. Oh no look it's in a sidebar in the middle of the whatsit section.

Dark Heresy: Go ahead. Oh, you're possessed aaaaand you just killed your whole party. Time to reroll new characters yaaaaaaay! 

Dark Heresy: The thing is heresy. BLAM!

Dark Heresy: You can do the thing, but if you do it hard enough you blow his goddamn head off. For the emperor.

Darkon LARP: Doing the Thing takes an out-loud count of 20.

DEADLANDS CLASSIC: Sure, go ahead and draw a card, roll half a dozen dice, and hand me one of your poker chips and then you can do the thing.

Deadlands Classic: Y'all can do the thang as long as i figger out what dem damn card suits mean and what dat damn poker hands are worth!

Deadlands Reloaded: Y'all do the thang. So does that there varmint. Now yer undead.

Deathwatch: Do the thing! what's your stat? +10 for this thing, +10 for this other thing, +10 for having the talent that lets you do the thing better, +10 for the thing your doing it to being really big! so treat your stat as stat+40. Yay!

Deathwatch: You may do the thing... FOR THE EMPEROR! Otherwise you lose your ability to use that piece of gear next mission.

Delta Green Yes, but it's going to cost you 1/1d6 SAN or else you can project it onto your Bond and your son will resent you for missing his birthday

Dog Eat Dog: I'm gonna feel awful about it, but no. You can't do the thing. I'm a terrible person.

Dogs in the Vineyard: You did the thing. Then he did the thing. Then you did the thing. Then he did the thing. Then you ran out of dice and couldn't do the thing anymore.

Dogs in the Vineyard: You tried doing the thing peacefully, but got fed up and shot everyone in the face. 

Don't Rest Your Head-- you do the thing, but feel yourself slide even further into a pit of despair, exhaustion, and madness.

Dread: Because a lot of other people have done things, you are very likely to die when you do the thing.
 
Doom and Cookies: Things are fattening.

DSA: Is the ground twice-sanctified, did you bring your summonig sword and what is the astral alignment for the second letter in things thrid real name?

Dungeon Crawl Classics : You can roll a d16 instead of a d20 to do the Thing. It will probably end in you losing a limb.

Dungeon World : You did the Thing. Now tell me, where did you learn to do the Thing?

Dungeons & Dragons 2nd Edition: Let me leaf through these 7 books to see how you do the thing.

Dungeons and Dragons: Yes, but it's really not worth it unless you are a Dream Elf with the Godblooded feat and at least five levels in the Thingomancer Prestige class from Complete Thing. Or you could just play a Wizard, they get The Thing as a 3rd level spell.

Earthdawn Yes, Take a point a strain and give me an hour to figure out what dice to role for that Step.

Eclipse Phase: The thing is entirely possible in-universe, but your character is not good enough to actually accomplish it. Which is good because it would probably result in a fate worse than death if you did somehow manage it.

Eclipse Phase: You can do the thing, pretty easily.

Edge of the Empire: Conversely, you didn't do the thing but something good happened anyway!

Edge of the Empire: You did the thing! But also something terrible happened.

Elric Stormbringer: you can do the thing , but you have only 40% in "doing the thing" so you have 60% chances failing

Everyone is John: Yeah, but if the thing isn't included in one if your two skills there's a 5/6 chance it'll go horribly wrong.

Everyone is John: You probably can't do the thing. As you fail you blow up the house making interplanetary demons descend on your location. You also lose control and someone else now has to clean up your mess.

Exalted: Yes.

Exalted: You can do the thing if you find enough buckets of dice to roll to do the thing.

Fading Suns: You can do the thing but won't see the effects for a few millennia

Fantasy Flight Star Wars: You can do the thing, but you need to get a college degree in Hieroglyphics first.

Fatal You try to do the thing. Roll for anal circumference.

FATAL: Yes you do the thing and - oh shit! How did this get so rape-y and so racist so fast?!

FATAL: You can do the thing, but first, let's check the diameter of your butthole and cross-reference that on the race/height modifier table...

FATAL: You can't do The Thing without solving a quadratic equation. Even then, you end up accidentally raping The Thing to death in a historically-accurate^tm manner.

Fate of the Norns: Ragnarok: You can do thing, amplify the thing, maintain it into the next combat round, and then do several other things, but only if the enemy doesn't counter the thing.

Fate: I'd rather you tell me how you do the thing.

FATE: That depends, can you bullshit the GM into believing that one of your vaguely-worded aspects supports you doing the thing?

Feng Shui 2: You can do the thing, assuming you are currently sliding down a bannister and/or summoning sick-ass magical dragons while doing it. Also doves are flying away in slow-mo.

Fiasco!: You can do the thing, but it's likely to result in your death halfway through the game, because you lack impulse control.

Fiasco: You can do the thing, but we get to choose what thing; alternatively, you get to choose the thing, but we get to tell you if you can do it.

Fireborn: What do the erata say?

GM's Homebrew System: No.

Goblin Quest: You can try to do the thing but it'd better be funny and you are most likely going to die trying.

Golden Sky Stories: you do the thing, and everyone is much happier!

Gumshoe: Yes. Would you like to do the thing really well?

GURPS: Fill out these forms in triplicate to do the thing.

GURPS: I think you can do the thing, let me look through the book for the rules on thing doing, I know I saw a rule on thing doing somewhere in here... Wait. Hold on. Wrong book. I know its in one of these somewhere. Maybe its in Powers? Or maybe not? Martial Arts? No? Crap. You know what? Nevermind. You can do the thing if you roll DX -3, how's that sound? Reasonable enough? OK, let's go with that then. 

GURPS: sure, you can do anything. Good luck finding the rule for it.

GURPS: You have taken that skill at default which means you only have a passing familiarity with it. Thus you may casually semi-sorta quasi-do the thing.

HackMaster 4th Edition: roll d1000 and refer to this full-page, 6 pt font chart to see if you did the thing.
 
HackMaster 5th Edition: 1 ... 2 ... you do The Thing and can do it again after 6 counts ... 3 ... 4 ... the Orc does The Thing too! ... 5 ... 6 ... 7 ... 8 ... you do the The Thing again!

HarnMaster: You can do the thing, but a feudal lord saw you do the thing and now you're in jail.

Heptatonia LARP: Rules for the Thing haven't been written yet.

Hero System: Did you pay the points to be able to do the thing?
I saw this somewhere and thought, this is a great sarcastic and funny way to describe RPG's with one simple question: 

Iron Kingdoms : The Thing isn't possible in WarMachine, so no.

Kingdom: You can do the thing, but everyone will hate you for it, but if you don't everyone will die.

Kobolds ate my Baby: You do the thing while barking and you're one step closer to your totally unexpected death.

Kobolds ate my Baby: I thought you ate the thing? No? Okay, but do you smell like baby? ALL HAIL KING TORG!!!

KULT: Yes, but do you realize, that behind the curtain, you're raped by a faceless representation of suburbia?

Lady Blackbird / Hackbird: Player: Can I do the cinematic thing? GM: The cinematic thing is so cool that I'm going to make you roll as a pretence, and just augment your cinematic action a bit depending on how impressive the number sounds.

Lady Blackbird: You can do the thing if you and your buddy tell a story about that one time when you totally did the thing.

Lamentations of the Flame Princess: You do The Thing. It shrieks, weeps blood, and summons a horrid banshee. Save-or-die.

Legend of the Five Rings: Is the thing you want to do seppukku?

Legends of the wulin: You could do the thing... If you actually managed to acquire the legendary source book. Some sages even doubt the existence of this profound tome, and only digital remains point to its potential.

Little Fears: Do you believe can actually do the thing?

Mage: the Ascension: Yes, but only if it fits your Paradigm. And you suffer from Paradox. And the Technocracy will try to put a bullet in your head for it.
 
Vampire: the Masquerade: You can, but only if its part of an antedeluvian's plan.

Maid RPG: You can do the thing, but every other player gets to try to do the thing at the same time. The winner gets XP, the losers start crying, binge eating and crashing the Master's car into the mansion. Then Gozilla appears.
 
King Arthur Pendragon: You can do the thing, but does your character REALLY want to? Roll one of your knightly virtues to see whether your character does the thing or "accidentally" kills an important person out of pride.

Marvel Heroic Roleplaying: Ew, no. This isn't that kind of game! 

Marvel Heroic Roleplaying: You can do the thing, but I strongly recommend you to include your team mates when describing your action. Now describe again the thing you want to do.

Marvel Super Heroes: You can do the Thing if you roll 00 

Marvel Superheroes: You are the thing. 

Mass Effect D20 : You can do the thing, but it will cost you a Unique Specialization. You then will not be able to do the thing unless you also spend two feats to gain the proper points to spend on doing the thing, in which case all of your other things will be useless. Either way, roll more dice than the entire group brought with them and do a ton of math on each roll.

Mechwarrior 3rd Edition: The Thing happened to you during character generation and left you with a mild addiction.

Microscope: AND NOW I BLOW THE THING UP!

Microscope: In a shocking twist the thing actually caused a thing. 

Microscope: You do the thing, now. 2,000 years from now, it ends all of civilization. Moments prior to you doing the thing, the thing emerged as something that needed done. Millennia prior, cultural norms were established dictating that, should a thing emerge as something that needs done, someone should do it. 3,000 years from now, a thing will need to be done once more.

Mind's Eye Society LARP: The Thing is High Approval.

Monsterhearts: Oh you do the Thing alright. Trigger sex moves.

Monsters and Other Childish Things: Yes you can do the thing, but only if you are awesome or wicked enough.

Mouse Guard: Do your injuries affect your ability to do the thing? Can anyone else do the thing? Tell us how you can do it. Or you can use a Wise to just backseat drive the thing. Have you got equipment to do the thing? Have you got hero points to boost your ability in the thing? What about your traits? Do they add to the thing or are they going to get in the thing's way so you can have more character development later.

Murderous Ghosts: Turn to page 23 to find out.

Mutants and Masterminds: No im not letting you have a character that can do all the same things that the entire rest of the team can do but better than them at the same time

Night's Black Agents: Huh... I dunno, maybe. Let me just double check my notes on the Romanian mining industry, heroin shipments in Marseilles and the google maps for Prague....

Night's Black Agents: Spend points off your pool and you can do The Thing while putting on your shades and jumping off a building in slow motion while The Thing explodes

Nobilis: Of course you can do the thing. You are, after all, the personification of the thing. And your Aspect is really high. But be careful, your Domain is pretty low, so there may be some unexpected physical manifestations pertaining to the thing.

Nobilis: You can do the thing but your character can't. Also now you annoyed the Nobilis of things and he turned your character into a thing.
 
Scion: You can do the thing, and it'd be quite cool, but curling up in a ball waiting for your opponent to get bored of the fact that his things can't affect you in any way is still the most efficient strategy.

Nordic LARP: Clearly, you're trying to do the wrong Thing. Here's a 250 page journal we publish quarterly to explain why.

Numenera/Cypher System: Do you have a thing that does the thing? How hard do you try to do the thing? You know what, I'll give you an experience point if you explode when you do the thing.

NWoD: You can certainly try to do the thing but somebody is gonna make it hard for you 

OG: Yeah you do the thing, and as I'm a GOOD GM, I'm telling you pick: You want me to use the complications now or do you want me to hold on to them for later? Oh one more thing, the thing generates one more Threat.

One Missed Call: It goes to voicemail.

One World By Night LARP: You can, but someone developed Thingomancy five years ago and can do it better.

Only War: You attempt to do the thing. If you fail, the Commissar shoots you in the head for failing the God Emperor. If you succeed, the Commissar shoots you in the head for being exposed to heresy.
 
Black Crusade: You do the thing because no one can stop you.

Only War: You just watched fourteen of your friends just die horribly, being torn apart by alien monstrosities while attempting the thing. Your turn.

OWoD: You can do the thing but the better you are at it the more likely you are to fudge it up 

Paranoia: The thing is treason.

Pathfinder: See Dungeons and Dragons, but the rules for doing the thing have been re-written in ways that may change how the thing happens slightly. Also, the thing is now a class feature for certain Clerics, two Rogue archetypes, and an option for Sorcerers at level 7. The thing is not legal in Societies gameplay.

Pathfinder: You can do the thing, but everyone will hate you because you aren't sufficiently optimized to do the thing, because designing thing-doers isn't your full-time job.

Pathfinder: You can do The Thing, but only if you own Player's Companion - The Thing #23, or if it's been two weeks since the release of The Thing #23 and its now on TheThingSRD.

Pathfinder: You can do the thing, but since you don't have Improved Do The Thing, you'll provoke an attack of opportunity. 

Pathfinder: You're level 20 with 5 mythic tiers, you do the thing and reality bends so that it is successful.

PDQ#: Just add all your Fortes to the narrative and throw in all your Techniques and Style Dice just for the flat +1 boni ? 2d6+20 guaranteed. You totally can do The Inconceivable Thing!

Phoenix Command: Factoring in windage, the angle of The Thing, and the current 1-second impulse, you do The Thing. Now, check this binomial distribution if The Thing is fatal within the next 20 seconds.

Playtesting: Oh, sorry, was that rule not clear enough? Makes note to self

PPP: If you are stupid enough, not to know you can't. Also, have you recently been tumble dried?

Primetime Adventures You do the thing, aaand CUT! Now, John, do the thing again, but with more passion! Camera, ACTION!

Real World probalby not, and I'm not driving you to the ER (again) if you get hurt trying.

Rifts: You can try the thing, but since you don't have that an obscure skill, you have to roll d100 with a -40% penalty.

RISUS Did you take a cliche for doing the thing? Can you convince the GM that you did?

Rogue Trader: Why not send your private army to do the thing for you?

Rogue Trader: You cannot do the thing. Also a chaos warp consumes your crew, turning them into slavering monsters. You are wealthy beyond measure.

Role Master You could do the thing, but frankly we never made it more than half way through character generation, could never work out the XP rules and we can't find the sub appendices that will show us where the Do The Thing table is.

Roll For Shoes: You rolled all 6's! You now get Doing The Very Specific Thing II.

Rollmaster: You can do the thing, but give me a moment to find the table I need.

RuneQuest: You can do the thing but there's a 99.9% chance of failure unless you've been playing for several years.

Savage Worlds: If you fail to do the thing you can spend a Benny to try again, and if you roll well you might get to do the thing with a raise!

Savage Worlds: You can do The Thing, with the same likelihood as anyone else, and with the same effect as any other Thing you could do. 

Shadow of the Demon Lord: you try, fail, and now the thing does you.

Shadowrun: If you can find the rules before the turn is over.

Shadowrun: Maybe. I'll have to look for The Thing rules. Were they between drone combat and treading water? No, that's right, Thing is in the Bows rules, just past vehicle sensors. Yes, you can do The Thing.

Shadowrun: Roll 19 dice. You successfully do the thing. The mage is dead. It's the sniper's turn. You are bleeding on the ground unconscious, missing a limb.

Shadowrun: Yeah, you do the thing bu you do it in an alley on a gurney with some guy's black-gloved hand in your cortex. In the rain. At night.

Shadowrun: Yes, but you'll need a bathtub full of D6s.

SLA Industries: Of Course you can do the thing! Please sit there and make yourself comfortable whilst I fill out your D Notice form.

Spell: You can do the thing, so long as you can spell the thing from these scrabble tiles I give you. Bonus points if you come up with an even more awesome thing to do because you couldn't do the thing you originally planned on doing.

Spycraft 2.0: You can do the thing, but it's going to take you fifteen hours and a PhD to navigate the gear chapter first.

Star Wars FFG: Yes but I'm just going to cancel it with a Destiny Point.

Stars Without Number: Here's a random generation table of all The Things

Symbaroum: If you don't do the thing, you are certainly dead.

T5: I'm sorry, I have sixteen pages of probabitlity charts and twenty nine tables concerning orbital decay, but there aren't rules for the thing. 

Taller Tales: Yeah, I guess so.

Tavern Tales - You use the amazingly powerful thing trait to do all the things, then there's a 50/50 chance something bad happens.

Technoir: You can do the thing but please consult a dictionary to find an appropriate adjective describing how it affects an antagonist or protagonist

Tenra Bansho Zero - You can do the thing, but you will do it better if you're broken, bleeding, and willing to die for it.
 
Rifts - You can do the thing, but only 36% of the time.

Tenra Bansho Zero: You did the thing! But, you did the thing too many times. So now you're an asura
 
Dread: WHY WOULD YOU DO THE THING!!!!

The Dark Eye (3rd, dunno about the newer editions <.<): Yes, you can do the thing, but only if you manage to roll two 1s on your 3d20 test. If you roll 3, you also kill a random dragon.

The Dark Eye: Yes you can do the thing after the campaign is over and you trained for it for two years after gaining a teachers favour in another small campaign. That antagonist? He can do the thing, he just sold his soul for it.

Torchbearer: Sure. Mark your success on the sheet. And the turn for your torch. And you and the party are now hungry, thirsty, angry, sick, tired, and dead. Oh and ambushed by statues.

TORG: You can do the thing, and with the right Drama Deck cards, possibility points, and lucky rolls, you might also inspire others and change reality itself!

TORG: You can try to do the thing, but if you fail your axiom check the laws of physics literally break and you need to roll for an hour to call home.

Traveller You can't do the thing because you tried to be a scout and you died in Character Generation, again.

Traveller: Doing the thing requires you to figure out the associated difficulty, time set, your skill, characteristic bonus and environmental modifiers to do thing. 

Trinity: You do the thing with your superpowers and the GM told the clairsentient in your group about you doing that thing five sessions ago.
 

Twilight 2000 Um.... (Flips back and forth through pages for a while)... Yes, it looks like you can attempt the Thing. Add the sum of your TIC and Stature, then divide by two. Got it? Ok, add d6 to that. Is the result over 7? If it's over seven, subtract one from the 2d6 roll. 

Uncharted Worlds: You try to give a Class 4 Thing to your boss to pay off a Debt you owe. Unfortunately he finds its design vulgar and tasteless. He calls in his Debts and now you have to go fight aliens on the frontier.

Unknown Armies: There are 333 good reasons not to do the thing, but your character is the magickal equivalent of an episode of Jackass so you'll probably do it anyway. Role some goddamn percentile dice and let's get this over with.

Unknown Armies: You can do the thing, but have you considered, maybe the thing is really doing you.

Unknown Armies: You did it. 

Warhammer Fantasy RPG 2e: You can do the thing, but if you fail you invoke the perils of the warp and might mutate or just die.

World of Darkness: Check pages 4, 16, 55, 71, and 112 for crucial information regarding the thing. Cross your fingers that the recipient of the Thing is not also supernatural.

World of Darkness: You can do the thing, but it's foggy, raining, night, you're bleeding and afraid. here's your chance dice. 

World of Darkness: You can probably do the thing, but then we'll argue for 20 minutes about what The Thing was. 

World of Darkness: You can probably do the thing. Whoops, there goes your morality/humanity/wisdom. 

World Wide Wrestling: Announcer goes - OH! MY! GOD! I CAN'T BELIEVE HE ACTUALLY DID THE THING! 

Wushu Open Reloaded : You did the Thing exactly as you say it happened, except it did nothing to resolve the situation.

Wushu: You can do the thing if you do at least four other ridiculously awesome things in addition to the thing.

Zork: you cannot get the thing. There are exits to the North, South, and East.